Archive for Branson water fight
Remember in August 2007 …
Posted by: | CommentsWhen the blog was all Richard Branson, all the time? If you don’t, you might have missed the reference to the Richard Branson trainwreck:
Remember, kids, you heard the Branson story here first! And here’s the interview:
Related posts
TIVO ALERT – Colbert/ Branson water fight to be featured on E’s “The Soup”
Posted by: | Comments
Does anyone else remember this show when it was called “Talk Soup” and Greg Kinnear hosted it? You know, when it was still kind of funny and people actually watched “Jerry Springer”? Yeah, that rocked. I was also a huge John Henson fan. There was just something about that skunk stripe …
Anyway, Steagle-eyed friend of the blog Scorpioprodigy sent us this report of a segment recently played on E-Television’s “The Soup” featuring Stephen Colbert and Richard Branson:
E! has again showed that they’re big fans of ‘The Colbert Report’. This week, E!’s The Soup opened up its latest episode with two men giving the host, Joek MaHale, a video tape of something he wasn’t going to like. This video contained footage of the infamous Colbert-Branson water fiasco. McHale then angrily walked out of his office to a nearby cubicle where Richard Branson was watching ‘The Tyra Banks Show’. He yelled out, “How many times have I warned you about going on ‘The Colbert Report’ and getting into water fights with Stephen?” Branson explained that he was just trying to promote his new airline but to no avail. He was “fired” and as he walked out, he smashed a cupcake in Joel’s face.
This show will replay on 9/4 at 2am and 11:30am (EST, I’m guessing).
Related posts
The Colbert-Branson water fight: Water under the bridge
Posted by: | CommentsFrom the Daily Intelligencer (internal links omitted):
Richard Branson Forgives Colbert, Considers Janet Jackson as Ballast
Richard Branson was late to his own party at the Box for Virgin America Airlines’ inaugural flight from LAX to JFK. He blamed, no joke, flight delays. Daily Intel caught up with him and asked about the now-famous incident when he angrily splashed Stephen Colbert with a glass of water during a taping of the Colbert Report. Turns out all is forgiven. He and Virgin America CEO Fred Reid also have plans for hotels in space and fond memories of the time Branson threatened to throw Janet Jackson off of a hot-air balloon. It’s all after the jump.
New York: Has Stephen Colbert lost his VIP privileges after that water incident?
Branson: (laughing) I have to think about this. I suspect that we have room in the toilet for him. The back left-hand toilet is where Colbert will sit when he flies on Virgin.
Reid: And the door only locks from the outside.
New York: So everything is good post-water-incident?
Branson: It’s like love. When you have embarrassed somebody you can also make up.Full text of post available here
Related posts
Zeitgeist for August 25, 2007
Posted by: | CommentsAs if it wasn’t bad enough to have The Colbert Report on a two week break, Fox has gone and canceled Anchorwoman. Here’s a sampling of Stephen in the Zeitgeist for August 25, 2007.
WristGate – The Mayor
- The Bloomberg Angle to Colbert’s ‘Wristgate’ – The City Room (New York Times blog): “The mayor’s chief spokesman, Stu Loeser, said the historic Bloomberg-Colbert summit was pre-arranged and taped last week. “We don’t believe they’d met before,” Mr. Loeser wrote in an e-mail message.”
The World is watching Stephen…
From the UnAmerican press – including a sudden blitz from the Guardian this week.
- POLAR COLBERT – 24hrs.ca: ” “Harper, it’s not your job to assert claims,” Colbert said. “Just repeat what the president [George W. Bush] says, add an ‘aboot’ and translate it into French.” All too accurate.”
- The Remainder Bin: Football, a Boot, and a Dose of Colbert – Pestiside.hu: “Stephen Colbert of the popular Colbert Report entertained his viewers with another Hungarian-related story, this time about the tribulations of András Feldmár, a Canadian psychologist of Hungarian origin, who was denied entry to the United States from Canada due to his writings in which he has admitted taking drugs.”
- Tugging on Branson’s beard – The Guardian: “Perhaps Branson was miffed at criticism of his beard which, according to Colbert, makes him look like a cross between “David Bowie and Pan the goat man.”
- The subtle, subversive Stephen Colbert – The Guardian: “What they might not know is that Stephen Colbert – whose show follows Stewart’s – is just as funny and arguably a good deal more subtle.”
- Netroots on the cocktail circuit – The Guardian: “This year, as demonstrated by the wide news coverage of the Yearly Kos convention in Chicago and Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas – he appeared on NBC’s Meet the Press, PBS’s Charlie Rose show and Comedy Central’s Colbert Report in the week after the convention – the netroots have come of age in the American political landscape. But the drawbacks to this acceptance have also become apparent.”
Stephen Colbert School of Commerce and Communication
- How I made my presentations a little better – 43Folders.com: “You know how Stephen Colbert does “The Wørd?” He directly addresses the audience while “slides” appear next to his head acting as a kind of Greek chorus.”
- Stephen Colbert Richard Branson Interview Trainwreck: The Hype Behind the Sale – BizCradle.com: “The interview between Colbert and Branson was a hit (you had to watch it…I’m not going to describe it). Make sure your next sales presentation has just the right amount of hype, mixed with a little mystery, and a good scoop of fun. It’s a classic mixture that will improve your sales.”
You can’t tell which way the train wrecked by looking at the tracks.
OK, when it was all conjecture in the press and bolosphere about what we would be seeing, it’s one thing… but after we saw the Colbert-Branson Trainwreck?
- Time killer: Richard Branson vs. Stephen Colbert – The Big Blog (Seattle Post-Intelligencer): “So Branson got mad. So mad, in fact, he doused Colbert with water from his water bottle after the interview like a little girl. Ever the professional, Colbert splashed him back.”
- Richard Branson Soaks Stephen Colbert – The Daily Reel: “From the unscripted jibes back and forth to the full-blown water fight (a la Wild n’ Crazy Kids), this truly is an interview gone out of control. “
Six Degrees: The Daily Show, yesterday and today
- At The Office with Ed Helms – IGN.com (via CCInsider): “What I miss about The Daily Show is feeling like when you’re knocking the wind out of hypocrisy in a way. Not that we had some mission statement, but it was fun to be a part of satire, because we made something that resonated with all of us”
- Rob Riggle is Alive and Well and Has Been Living In New York All Week – Huffington Post: “Of course, the big reveal from last night’s show was that the final report wasn’t really even close to “live in Iraq,” as Riggle made an appearance in the studio to smooch the anchor desk and empty his pockets of sand. But, it begged the question: Just how not live weren’t Riggle’s reports?”
Sarah Silverman riding coat tails
Um, sorry, but there is no “follow-up act” to Stephen Colbert – only followers and wannabees, thank you.
- Catch-22 things if you can – Tallahassee.com: “Comic kamikaze Sarah Silverman – who famously dissed Paris Hilton at the MTV Awards earlier this summer – is the headliner for this year’s FSU Homecoming PowWow in the Civic Center. … She’s the perfect follow-up act to last year’s sold-out PowWow with Stephen Colbert.”
Related posts
HuffPo covers the BriWi Controversy
Posted by: | CommentsFriend of the blog Rachel Sklar over at Eat The Press (Huffington Post’s media and entertainment blog) has posted a very comprehensive timeline of the BriWi WristSTRONG bracelet story.
From the Huffington Post:
“I’m Sorry, Brian Williams!”: Truth And Wristiness, Part II
Huffington Post | Rachel Sklar | August 23, 2007 06:49 AM
Oh, my golly gosh — was last night’s Colbert Report ever packed with good stuff. In possibly the most packed ep of the show since December’s famed “Guitarmageddon,” the show not only finally aired the infamous interview between Colbert and “rebel billionaire” Richard Branson — which become a media event after the story about Branson flinging water on Colbert leaked (heh, leaked) — but there was clear advancement of the story in the saga of Stephen’s WristStrong™ bracelet. A recap, for those of you under the sheltering comfort of a rock: Stephen broke his wrist, and decided to support wristal health everywhere with a red WristStrong™ bracelet, sold on his ColbertNation site with proceeds to the Yellow Ribbon Fund, which helps injured service members and their families. Colbert has embarked on an awareness-raising Listening Tour (er, Wristening Tour? Thanks everyone, I’m here all week! Try the veal!), visiting Big Three anchors Katie Couric and Brian Williams on their respective sets and extracting promises to wear the bracelet on the air (Charlie Gibson was and remains AWOL on this). On Monday night, Colbert aired a segment calling out Couric and Williams for reneging on that promise — prompting Williams to strike back (via ETP, your source for anchor-related wristal news) with proof that yes, he had actually worn the bracelet on the broadcast.
…
In other news, the Richard Branson interview was totally hilarious and didn’t seem at all uncomfortable or bizarre. But still, the buildup made it fun. Props to our pals at FishbowlNY — ETP’s old Colbert-stalking stomping grounds — for getting the word out and inspiring the “trainwreck” title, and props to the Colbert watchdogs at NoFactZone who technically broke the story ’cause they posted first. Fair is fair here at ETP!
That’s all — for now. But clearly, much about WristGate lurks beneath the surface, so we pledge to stay on this story and bring you update as they come in.
Thanks for the props, Rachel! You rock our world!
Related posts
Episode 3110 (8/22/2007)
Posted by: | Comments“Your phone is ringing! Your phone is ringing! Free ring tone! This is The Colbert Report!”
Branson with the Star: “Tonight, my long-awaited showdown with rebel billionaire Richard Branson. Oh is that tonight? Huh …”
- More on the Colbert-Branson Interview Trainwreck
- The undeclared Fred Thompson Anti-candidacy juggernaut continues to lazily rumble in the general direction of the White House
The Wørd: November Surprise
Freddie’s Kruggerands: “Then, Fred Thompson is in some hot water. *shudder* That is a horrible image to get stuck in your head.”
- WristSTRONG & BriWi
- Where in the World is Matt Lauer?’s WristStrong Bracelet? VIII
- Colbert Platinum
Wealth Tonic: “Plus, another edition of Colbert Platinum, another segment for the high-end viewer. If you don’t own at least one vehicle with a spiral staircase, go watch Leno.”
- Sir Richard Branson – Founder, Virgin Airlines
In Closing: Well, welcome back. That was quite a dousing. But I gave [towel falls into his face] I gave as good as I got. Sir Richard walked in here a rebel billionaire, and he walked out a billionaire who was also damp. That’s it for the Report. Oh, one more thing …. [flashes T-shirt saying "I'm Sorry, Brian Williams"] Charles Gibson, ball’s in your wrist.
NOTABLE MOMENTS
- Editor’s note: So I’m looking down, fiddling with my navel or something, and I look up … and Stephen is wearing the cutest little hat and jacket with wings and epaulettes. Awwwww!
- Nation, I don’t read what the press says about me. I don’t need some journalist to tell me what celebrity fueds I may or may not be involved in with rebel billionaires who look like a cross between David Bowie and Pan the goat god.
- Oh, oh the threads? It’s an airline pilot’s uniform. I may not be a licensed pilot, but I’m proud to announce that I now have my own airplane, which was named after me by Virgin America. Which is an airline not named after me. Because I have totally had sex.
- Give me another taste, I want to look at my beautiful new … Oh my God! There’s a gremlin on my plane! There’s a gremlin on my … Oh, I’m sorry. That was Richard Branson.
- I don’t want to give anything away, but this (Branson spraying champagne on the plane) is called foreshadowing.
- [takes off hat] Never moves.
- I don’t see what the problem is. It’s not like there’s any advantage to not declaring your candidacy. Sure, according to ABC News, by not declaring, Thomson “wouldn’t have to disclose any of the cash given to his campaign until January 31st.” But that would only help him if he was getting contributions from donors he didn’t want voters to know about. Like the gun lobby, or oil companies, or Diehard 2 co-star Dennis Franz.
- If Kucinich had held off entering the race, he’d still be rolling in cash from his work in Ron Howard’s masterpiece, Willow.
- By avoiding debates, he [Thompson] hasn’t beaten us over the head with his policy positions. [Pro-Sleep, Anti-Salad]
- So far all he’s said is “I’m thinking of running.” And that kind of mystery is exciting. [Like Watching Paint Vote]
- Nation, our elections are supposed to be decided by secret ballot. So let’s make the ballot truly secret and not have anyone declare they’re running until Election Day. That way, when they enter the voting booth, it will be the first time voters see the field of candidates. [For Diebold To Choose From]. The anticipation will get people so excited, like a new Harry Potter Book [Harry Potter and the Inherited War] There will be rumors on the web, fans waiting in line to vote dressed like their favorite electoral characters [Already Have Vice President Voldemort].
- Nation, there’s no way you could have known this, but I recently broke my wrist.
- Now NBC claims that Williams was wearing the bracelet that night and we couldn’t see it because it had rolled up his beef brisket forearms.
- If that’s true, and I just couldn’t see it under his clothes, I should apologize to Brian Williams. In fact, I have written an apology on a T-shirt which I am wearing under my suit. And I’m sorry if Brian Williams can’t see it.
- My beautiful bracelet in all it’s wristy glory.
- It looks like Mr. Williams is a man of his word after all … or is he? I asked him to pass on the bracelet to someone even more famous than he is. [Video - BriWi: Give me some names, maybe, give me ... Stephen: NBC, uh ... Matt Lauer? BriWi: That could be done. Stephen: Matt Lauer, because he's very famous. BriWi: We're buds, we hang together all the time, so I can slip this baby right onto his wrist.] But take a look at The Today show the very next morning. Matt Lauer wasn’t even there!
- Where in the World is Matt Lauer?’s WrsitStrong Bracelet? VIII
- Now folks, remember, this is luxury news. If you’re watching this in your home, or your vacation home, and those are your only two home options, you do not have enough homes to be watching this segment. So get out! Gotta be firm …
- Hey, poor people! You don’t hear us complaining about the noise of your rumbling stomachs! Fair’s fair!
- Well, I say if Saint-Tropes is going to cut down on our helicopter flights, the least they could do is provide an alternative means of luxury travel. I suggest leting the ultra-rich drive their imperial walkers through town. The nice thing is you could drink champagne at the controls, because you’re not drinking and driving, you’re just drinking and imperial walking.
- Evidentally an inordinate number of corks are popping in India, whose consumption of champagne has increase 125% in the last year. So if you can’t understand what those tech support guys are saying, it’s because they’re hammered on Crystal.
- The resulting champagne may shrink your testicles, but we will get grapes the size of Barry Bonds’s head.
- I call it Firminken.
- During the Sir Richard Branson interview (full transcript available from Jaunted.com)-
- Stephen: I at least get to fly it, right? I mean, obviously take-offs and landings are hard, but maybe I can go into a barrel roll or something.
- Stephen: But the goatee does make you look like a Bond villian.
- Stephen: They call you the Rebel Billionaire … Let’s prove to everybody right now that you are a rebel billionaire. Let’s have you write an IOU to me, right now, for $1 Million dollars, Okay? This will prove it in two ways, okay? Because if you’re a billionaire, a million means nothing to you, and if you’re a rebel, your accountants will be like “Don’t do it!” and you’re like “F#@k you, I’m a rebel!” I’m gonna do it!
- Branson: I’ll tell you what, if you’re willing to let me break his other wrist … Stephen: For a million dollars? You can gnaw it off at the stump!
- Stephen: Now obviously, it’s a brand-new airplane, it’s a brand-new service, you have a spotless safety record. How can we make sure that on this plane, that Jesus is my co-pilot? Richard: From everything I’ve heard about you, wouldn’t that go without saying?
- Branson: The only reason we named the plane after you was because we were told we wouldn’t need any fuel. Stephen: Because I produce my own methane? Are you saying I’m full of bulls@#t?
- [Editor's Note: Well that was ... anti-climactic a bit, wasn't it?]
Fangirl Suit Report:
- Opening sequence: Dark navy suit, Faint pastel blue shirt with barrel cuffs; bright yellow tie with square spot pattern, WristSTRONG bracelet
- Segments 1 and 2: Navy suit jacket with gold epaulettes, gold insignia around the wrist, and pilot’s wings; Faint pastel blue shirt with barrel cuffs; bright yellow tie with square spot pattern; pilot’s hat; WristSTRONG bracelet.
- Richard Branson interview: Dark navy suit, Faint pastel blue shirt with barrel cuffs; bright yellow tie with square spot pattern, Poland Spring water
- In Closing: White towel head-wrap, white terrycloth robe, t-shirt bearing the phrase “I’m Sorry Brian Williams”
Videos, courtesy of Comedy Central Motherload:
Richard Branson
Stephen sits down with Billionaire Richard Branson
More videos coming soon!
Related posts
Zeitgeist for August 22, 2007
Posted by: | CommentsAs we all get ready for the Colbert-Branson Interview Trainwreck here are a few items representing the zeitgeist for August 22, 2007.
Trainwreck Publicity stunt?
Cheers and Jeers from PR pros regarding the Interview Trainwreck as a promotional “vehicle.” And to think, it all started here on NFZ!
- Richard Branson Gets Firey With Stephen Colbert: Was it a Real Fight? – Product Reviews: “If you ask me, I say it was all a huge publicity stunt. I mean don’t get me wrong, even billionaires will go pretty damn low to get some attention. I mean seriously, Richard Branson of all people getting annoyed? I would let Stephen Colbert throw two glasses of water at me and talk about my mother without a care in the world if i had half of Branson’s digits.”
- Stephen Colbert vs. Richard Branson: Great Sales Job! – Landing The Deal: “Sometimes its easier to sell something if there’s a natural momentum about it. You don’t need to promote it in an overtly self-serving manner, which isn’t Colbert’s style. It’s “fake” self-serving, which is one of the reasons the show is a hit. So his sales message of “make-sure-you-watch-the-show-Wednesday!” comes off as just a natural part of his schtick…it’s very effective, and I’m sure their ratings will go through the roof.”
Colbert can make or break you.
- Cyclic Universe–World of Words–Nuclear Terror – Scientific American: “Pinker’s own use of language continues to gather praise (he has twice been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize). His reputation was cinched when Stephen Colbert, on Comedy Central’s Colbert Report, asked Pinker to explain how the brain works in exactly five words, and he replied, “Brain cells fire in patterns.” This book delivers his customary mix of interesting ideas and good writing, though not quite so succinctly.”
- Andrew Keen interviewed by Stephen Colbert – Ian’s Blog: “Colbert, even in character, did a pretty good job of demolishing Keen, who readily admitted to being an elitist … If Keen isn’t deliberately trying to provoke people by arguing in favor of elitism in the media, then I feel quite sorry for him, because if there is a media elite, he most certainly isn’t a member.”
Colbert Report bumps sought by Republicans and Independents
- Memo to Huckabee: It’s Time to Take Some Risks – The Fix (washingtonpost.com Politics Blog): “Neil Newhouse, one of the most respected Republican pollsters in the business, suggested that Huckabee really think outside the box by appearing on “The Colbert Report” — the wildly popular show on Comedy Central starring Stephen Colbert. It would expose Huckabee to an entirely new group of potential voters, drive media buzz and allow him to show off his sense of humor — a trait that the New York Times’s Adam Nagourney largely credited with Huckabee’s straw poll success.”
- Attention, please – The Boston Globe: “Murphy, a 26-year-old bricklayer from Lowell, is trying to score an appearance on either The Daily Show with Jon Stewart or The Colbert Report, late-night shows on Comedy Central that are infamous for skewering politicians. Murphy’s campaign wouldn’t mind the skewering; it just wants the candidate on the air.”
Advice to Half Hour News Hour
No surprise that advice for the creators of FNC’s canceled “comedy” show usually includes something about The Colbert Report.
- Why Fox News Fails at Comedy – Huffington Post: “Secondly, Surnow forgot the single-most important value of timeless Comedy: it unites. Richard Pryor did as much for the easing of racial tension as Julian Bond, and Jim Carrey proved that a white man could kick it with a black cast. Colbert and Stewart make Democrats and Republicans laugh at themselves. They succeed not because of language, political bias or controversy, but because the material is researched, painfully structured and impeccably timed.”
- ‘Foxopedia’ And The Comedy Of Errors – MediaChannel.org: “Might I make a suggestion? Perhaps instead of trying to carbon copy The Daily Show, why not start watching the even more brilliant The Colbert Report? If FAUX Noise is to resurrect their not-so-divine comedy, they need to do something radical. Namely, self-parody.”
Who’s not honoring Stephen now?
- Why Are This Fall’s Big Books So Small? – Gawker.com: “So what are the bigwigs at Borders ordering a bunch of this fall? We hear they’re focusing on two books: Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You!) and Alan Greenspan’s The Age of Turbulence. Exciting! Also: Boring!”
- Board to ‘Order’: No Colbert Day for you – Amherst Bulletin: “Saying such an action could open a floodgate of requests for other days in honor of Karl Rove or Bill O’Reilly, for example, the Select Board declined Monday to proclaim Oct. 17 Stephen Colbert Day in Amherst.”
Six Degrees of Stephen Colbert
- FAR-FLUNG FEST – New York Port (via EMDash.com): “HIGHLY eclectic is the best way to describe this year’s lineup for the eighth annual New Yorker Magazine Festival, set for Oct. 5-7. Among its components will be conversations with Steve Carell, Steve Martin, Bill Nighy and opera director Peter Sellars.”
[h/t to Unwords for the links] - ‘I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With’ trailer – YouTube: Catch Amy Sedaris and David Pasquesi [Stu, "Strangers With Candy"] in this trailer for Jeff Garlin’s upcoming movie. [thanks to Cathy for pointing this out.]
- ‘Trapped In The Closet’ – IFC.com: Jibiti03 on livejournal that Greg Holloman [Onyx Blackman, "Strangers With Candy"] made an appearance on the IFC series ‘Trapped In The Closet.’ If you go to the link, find episode 15 and it’s around the 5 minute mark. [h/t to DB]
Related posts
Episode 3107 (08/16/2007)
Posted by: | Comments“Happy 300th show, me! Keep up the good work. This is The Colbert Report!“
I Stomach Huckabee: Tonight, I take a look at the Iowa straw poll. That’s right – Iowa is just 10 years away from lever voting technology.
- The Branson interview train wreck
- The Colbert Bump wins the Iowa Straw Poll
Special Guest: Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, Republican Presidential primary candidate.
Aging Bull: Then, can human beings live forever? Sure – look at George Burns. He’s dead? Then no.
- Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. – Gene Therapy Edition
- Erectile Dysfunction / Vaxachub
- Blood Health / Vaxascab
Preechy Keen: My guest Andrew Keen believes the internet has replaced professionals with amateurs. It’s certainly true of porn.
- Andrew Keen, author – “The Cult of the Amateur”
In closing: Well, that was show 300, Nation. Did you catch — [smiles as he is interrupted by wild applause and cheering; leans into the camera intimately] Did you catch all the subtle references to ancient Sparta?
Guest Plug:
NOTABLE MOMENTS
- Nation, there’s something I want to address before it gets too far out of hand – an incident that occurred on The Report between myself and one Sir Richard Branson, rebel billionaire and noted balloonist who was here last week to pre-tape an interview.
- I want everyone to know that I am taking the high-road on this and I am not going to discuss it. Gossip demeans us all. So please, everyone stop talking about this extremely juicy mysterious story. Moving on.
- But, I mean, you couldn’t have missed it. I mean, this story hit the blogodome like a tidal wave. Look at this piece on mediabistro.com – “Richard Branson’s Colbert Report Interview Trainwreck.” Wow. That sounds like something I would talk about if I wasn’t above that sort of thing.
- According to the writer, the segment was “uncomfortable,” turned into chaos,” and apparently I “signaled for [my] own ammunition.” What could that mean? I mean, I was there – I know what that means. But still, it is so tempting to speculate… which I don’t want people doing. Moving on.
- But it is hard. It is hard to avoid getting swept away in the media frenzy. It was in the Boston Herald, The New York Post, plus New York Magazine and Fox News. The story even caught fire in Branson’s neck of the pond turning up in the Daily Mail and The Sun. I feel like a Royal! More than I normally do.
- All I am saying here, folks, is that when 2 titans go toe-to-toe, sometimes tempers flare. Let it go. The last thing I want is for anyone to think that I am using this highly sensitive incident to get a bunch of rubber necking gossip hounds to watch next Wednesday’s show at 11:30 Eastern when we will be airing, in it’s entirety, the Colbert-Branson Interview Trainwreck.
- Please, please do not watch if you are only interested in seeing the most explosive interview of the year.
- Anyone who was there will tell you it’s a hugely significant, non-binding competition / fundraiser that takes place at a county fair, immediately following the butter sculpting.
- Guess who won this year… Me! That’s right. Yes, me and the Colbert bump.
- [*LOL! The Guy Smiley muppet for Mitt Romney!*]
- I personally respect that he would spend that kind of money for their vote but would never give it to them for their health care.
- I believe the big story was zillion-to-one shot, Presidential not-too-hopefull Mike Huckabee who came in 2nd place and spent only $57.98 per vote. And that was all in pennies.
- Governor Huckabee has appeared twice on this show and one of those times I even listened to what he said.
- I had him on as a lark. He was pulling at 1%. Even Dennis Kucinich was asking “Who the hell is Mike Huckabee?”
- Huckabee is pro-gun, he doesn’t believe in evolution, and he is pro-weight loss – 3 positions I agree with, although I still don’t understand why he didn’t take my suggestion to make his campaign slogan “No Fatties!”
- He’s an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery on an elliptical machine.
- President Huckabee… Oh my gosh. That just trips off the tongue.
- Did you raise your hand to indicate that you did not believe in evolution or were you raising your hand simply to show off your opposable thumb?
- I’ve interviewed 50 of those people and I’ve got to agree.
- Last Tuesday we did a special show on DNA and I learned so much – like how DNA is spelled.
- As always, Cheating Death is brought to you by Prescott Pharmaceuticals. If it’s childproof, it’s not Prescott.
- My doctorate is not in medicine, it’s in fine arts which means I can park illegally only in front of museums.
- Best case scenario? Synthetically modified DNA will cure disease and reverse the aging process. Worse case scenario? Prehensile noses.
- Scientists have hope that this will cure some of our most devastating health problems like leukemia, HIV, and erectile dysfunction in mice.
- I was so tired of hand feeding my mice Viagra. You gotta pull it away quick or they will hump your finger.
- This is great news for those of us planning on living forever. You don’t want to live for 1,000 years and have your junk give out at 500.
- That would be like the Twilight Zone episode where Burgess Meredeth survives the nuclear holocaust but can not get it up to have sex with the pig-faced girl.
- If you can’t afford expensive gene therapy, I recommend Vaxachub – the only virility aid made entirely from powdered mice.
- If you experience erections lasting more than 4 hours, you are welcome.
- Side effects may include mild kidney explosions, testicular cranberrying, and rectal hallucinations.
- I personally believe that blood is one of the most important things you can have within your veins.
- We’d be impervious to everything that feasts on blood. Try sustaining yourself now, Robert Novak!
- If no one ever bleeds there will be no need to donate blood and we can say good-bye to that blood donor crowd bragging about how many pints they gave down at the “look at me” van.
- Of course, if you cannot afford gene therapy there is always Vaxascab.
- Side effects may include pulmonary weevils, brain tooth, and reemergence of the umbilical cord.
- Remember the Prescott promise: We never test on animals, or anything else.
- Worse than the Nazis? The internet is worse than the Nazis – that’s what you just said, Sir.
- Tell that to Egon Schiele
- I would define an elitist as someone who says he knows more than I do.
- [Showing clips of Green-screen challenge videos.] These were all created on the internet, by amateurs, to honor me. Are you saying that’s not art?
- How much money do I make on the internet? None of your damn business. … I sell T-shirts on the internet. I sell T-shirts and paperweights, I think.
- My parent company Viacom is suing YouTube for a billion bucks and I’m sure I’m going to get a cut of that.
- What’s wrong with cherry-picking facts, because then you can make the perfect truth pie.
- You “loath” it? What – is that English for “love”? What does that mean?
Fangirl Suit Report: Light gray suit. Whit shirt with barrel cuffs. Cornflower blue silk tie.
Videos courtesy of Comedy Central MotherLoad
- YouTube Trial: The Toss
- I Stomach Huchabee: Table of Contents
- Colbert-Branson Trainwreck: Colbert tries to quiet rumors of the most explosive interview of the year – The Colbert-Branson Trainwreck.
- Gov. Mike Huckabee: Thanks to the Colbert bump Gov. Mike Huckabee will be the next President of the United States.
- Cheating Death – Gene Therapy: Gene Therapy will cure our most devastating health problems – like erectile dysfunction in mice.
- Andrew Keen: Stephen shows Andrew the best way to avoid getting subpoenaed.
Related posts
