Archive for Apopcalypse
Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! That was a great week to slide us into a well-deserved break for the show. Lots of fun segments (hooray for the return of Cheating Death, and with a new intro, too!), interesting (if sometimes evasive) interviews, and goofiness galore. Just the way I like it. What were your favorite segments this week? Post them in the comments!
(** = TCR/TDS link, and there are some sweet ones!)
Monday: Daylight Savings Time & I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buddha – Raj Patel
“You know who I blame for this? Ben Franklin. He invented Daylight Savings Time, probably during some syphilitic fever dream.”
Ben Franklin as the inventor of Daylight Savings Time? Well, not exactly, but he might be credited for putting the idea out there, if in jest. Ever the wit and creative thinker, in 1784 Franklin wrote a humorous essay for the Journal de Paris, on the subject of energy savings. The essay, “An Economical Project”, expresses Franklin’s surprise that the sun should give off so much light so early in the morning for free. It’s really a tremendously funny read. As for the syphilis rumor (not so, he actually died of a ruptured lung artery), Stephen asked the man himself in **Better Know a Founder (full disclosure: I am a sucker for a man in a tri-corner, breeches, and a frock coat. Go watch this clip!)
“I am at least the John the Baptist of Share International. And I have to say, I do look great with my head on a platter.”
An oddly apt comparison – John the Baptist, who in his ministry recognized Jesus as the Messiah, and was ordered beheaded by Herod (his stepdaughter Salome asked for the gift of John’s head). Stephen wasn’t beheaded for deifying Raj Patel, though - **it was all about workers’ compensation. Do you know **you earn 2,634 weeks of workers’ comp for a severed head?
Tuesday: I’s on Edjukashun & Rebecca Skloot
“… and requiring that the history of McCarthyism include how the later release of the Venona papers confirmed suspicions of communist infiltration in the U.S. government.”
In post WWII America, anti-Communist sentiment ran high. Senator Joseph McCarthy led the charge against suspected Communist sympathizers, and ushered in a shameful era of paranoia in which thousands of Americans were wrongly accused of disloyalty and treason, blacklisted, and even imprisoned. The Venona papers, Soviet intelligence messages sent from 1942-1945 subsequently decoded by US and British cryptanalysts, have thrown new fuel on the fire. Since the papers were publicly released in 1995, analysts have attempted to connect code names of the contacts mentioned to actual identities. In some cases, individuals have been verified as Soviet agents, but many may have also been listed because of innocent exchanges, or were never contacted by the Soviets at all. Some historians worry that the Venona papers are now being improperly used to justify the overreaches of the McCarthy era.
• If you’re interested in learning more about the story of Henrietta Lacks, Wired Magazine recently published this fascinating graph of the many scientific and medical advances that stemmed from the HeLa cell line.
• Also, I loved the visual shout-out to my all-time favorite 80’s arcade game, Centipede (this version gives you a taste, but it’s not the same without the big trackball. Yes, this was a serious, serious favorite, as in High Score at the arcade, baby!)
Wednesday: United States Census 2010 & Nell Irvin Painter
I do enjoy Stephen’s mistranslations. The show Más Sabe el Diablo actually translates as “The Devil Knows Best”, though I think “More Sauce on the Devil” is a better title.
“Scots-Irish are not Irish. There’s no Irish blood in Scots-Irish people. They are Scots Presbyterians who were given land in Ireland. They took our land, and drove my people across the River Shannon, where we were forced to farm rocks by Oliver Cromwell, and I will see him rot in hell before you call Scots-Irish people Irish!”
I love a good rant, and this one was a beauty. I don’t know about anyone else, but if you’re of Irish descent, you’ll have heard (or given) this one before. If not, here’s a brief history of the Ulster Scots in Ireland. Or you may prefer Stephen’s history – **long story short, he’s been drinking all day.
Thursday: Middle Eastern Dogs & Mary Matalin & Sign-Off
“Bob Barker tried to warn us. Why didn’t we listen?”
Bob Barker, for 35 years the host of TV game show The Price Is Right, is an outspoken advocate for animal rights; in his regular show sign-off, he urged viewers to “have your pets spayed and neutered”.
“He said I will make you fishers of men. I don’t believe Jesus said ‘If you don’t work you don’t eat’. I believe that was from Cool Hand Luke“
The sign-off caption, 2 Thessalonians 3:10-13 , references the quote that Mary Matalin paraphrased during her interview (“For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat…”). Cool that they acknowledged Matalin’s quote wasn’t far off, though I maintain that Stephen was closer to the spirit of the message.
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! The week started off with a smile, when Stephen responded to Monday’s opening audience cheers by saying “Man, that has all the makings of a great tune.” Which naturally ensured I’d be humming **”Stephen, Stephen” all week. Not a bad thing! What were your favorite bits? Post them in the comments! (** = TCR/TDS link)
Note: There’s no Thursday segment in this week’s Apopcalypse because as you read this, I’m on a train headed to NYC, where I plan to visit grown-up museums, eat in grown-up restaurants, and oh yeah, on Monday I’ll attend my first taping of the show. Wahoo!
Monday: Action Center – Healthcare Bill & Tom Hanks
“Those bold words reminded me of when FDR told our troubled nation ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself, unless, what do you guys think?’”
Timeless words from President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s first inaugural speech, on 4 March 1933. At the time, the nation was in the depths of the Great Depression, facing economic crisis and growing international uncertainty. C-Span has great archival footage of FDR’s inauguration (for the quote referenced above, skip to 2:50). Really, though, what was so bad about the Great Depression? **As Stephen says, at least it was Great. In the mood for more Roosevelts? Go watch **Stephen Settles the Debate: FDR vs. TR (presidential fancy boy pictures, rough riders, an FDR impersonation, and my favorite tie = win win win!).
“Just make me the evil Pope in your next Dan Brown movie.”
Author Dan Brown has made a career out of fashioning novels around mysteries and conspiracy theories about early Christianity and the Catholic Church. His novels The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons have both been adapted into films starring Tom Hanks. Stephen has had some success with Brown’s methodology, too, in his use of ** The DaColbert Code to predict Oscar winners.
“My Uncle Eddie… was in the 101st Airborne, he was in Fox Company. He was there from D-Day all the way to Berchtesgaden.”
That’s a pretty incredible family link to some of the biggest historical events of the 20th century. A parachute division of the U.S. Army, the 101st Airborne trained at Currahee Mountain, Camp Toccoa, Georgia. They first saw combat on D-Day, when they were airdropped behind German lines to secure targets behind Utah Beach in advance of the full invasion. After devastating losses at Normandy, the 101st took part in the Battle of the Bulge, and ended the war tracking down Nazi leaders at Berchtesgaden, Hitler’s vacation retreat.
And for those of you who are curious about the series title, Band of Brothers comes from Shakespeare’s Henry V, in the King’s St. Crispin’s Day speech to his troops just before battle:
- “And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
- From this day to the ending of the world,
- But we in it shall be remembered-
- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
- For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
- Shall be my brother”
More culture after the fold!
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! I loved loved loved they Olympics coverage, but I admit I’m happy to get back to regular shows, too. This week’s Apopcalypse ranges from Greek Classics to the latest fad in rickrolling, with an extended stay in U.S. Presidential history. If you’re in the mood for music, spend some time with Monday’s links – there are some real gems in there. What did you enjoy most this week, back on American soil? (** = TCR/TDS link)
Monday: Olympics Wrap-Up – Michael Buble
“Is there a Great Canadian Songbook?…Sure, you got the Chickety China the Chinese Chicken song. You got Safety Dance and Sunglasses at Night.”
Hey, a Great Canadian Songbook? Tune up your ears and let’s get nostalgic. We’ll start with Barenaked Ladies (the fab Ontario-based band), and their 1998 song “One Week”, a rapid, silly stream-of-consciousness song, including such lyrical oddities as “Chickity China the Chinese Chicken”. And if you remember 80’s pop music, you’ll know Montreal’s Men Without Hats and “The Safety Dance” (with its inexplicably Ren-Faire themed video). Another Montreal native, the ubercool Corey Hart, was top of the charts in the early 1980’s with hits like “Sunglasses at Night”. Canada’s not all froth and New Wave pop, though. As Michael Buble pointed out, Canada’s also given us Leonard Cohen, Neil Young, and k.d. lang.
“We have a scene here with you and Wesley Snipes. Is Wesley Snipes a vampire?”
In one of his trademark Seriously Pumped roles, Wesley Snipes played Blade in the eponymous action flick trilogy. The films are based on the Marvel Comics character Blade, a human-vampire hybrid (ok, technically a dhampir) who protects the human race by hunting vampires. Take that, Team Edward!
Tuesday: President Obama’s First Physical & David Brooks
“We have ignored all the warning signs. Beer summit? Hello! Clearly he insulted that cop just for the excuse to pound a sixer of Old Milwaukee tall boys.”
We’ve featured the infamous White House Beer Summit previously on the Apopcalypse, focusing on the arrest of Harvard Professor (and **friend of the show) Henry Louis Gates Jr. outside his own home, and the ensuing ruckus. But President Obama, perhaps incautiously, added fuel to the fire by saying the police “acted stupidly” in the matter. It took 40 oz of lager and some well-staged handshakes for all involved to move past that one.
Brooks: “There’s actually like kind of tradition in American life, it started with Alexander Hamilton… go through Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt” Stephen: “Things did not end well for him.” Brooks: “For any of those guys”
Time for a brief review of famous Republicans and their fiscal policies. As the first Secretary of the Treasury, Alexander Hamilton (star of the $10 bill) organized much of the federal financial system, including creating the U.S. Mint and the first national bank. 16th President Abraham Lincoln instituted the first U.S. income tax, created a system of national banks, and established the first national paper currency since the Revolutionary War. 26th President Theodore Roosevelt moved to limit the influence of corporate interests on government, and regulate monopolies. But as noted, things did not end well for those gentlemen: Hamilton died in 1804 after a duel with Vice President Aaron Burr (and you think politics today is partisan!), Lincoln was assassinated in 1865, and Teddy Roosevelt, well, he survived an assassination attempt, and died of an unrelated illness at age 60.
Wednesday: Jim Bunning Ends Filibuster & Greece’s Economic Downfall – Scheherezade Rehman
Curious about that catchy, yet somehow disturbing, “Trololololo” clip that so cheered Stephen? It’s Soviet vocalist Edward Hill, badly lipsynching to one of his popular recordings. With the meme spreading like wildfire, it may be poised to become the next rickroll. (h/t Jennie)
“A modern greek drama. Which means not only is the country’s economy failing, it’s probably banging its mother.”
Oedipus, mythical king of Thebes, cursed by a prophecy he ultimately fulfilled. In his attempt to evade his fate, Oedipus unwittingly kills his father, marries his mother, and gouges his eyes out when he learns the horrible truth. Need a refresher, but not ready to dive back into Sophocles? Try Oedipus, performed by vegetables. (Really!)
“Somehow Goldman created, let’s say, a hollow horse into which all of Greece’s debt was put. And somehow convinced the Europeans to open the gate to their financial fortress, and pushed all that debt into Europe. Is that the first time that’s been done by the Greeks?”
Love the extended metaphor to Virgil’s Aeneid, and the Trojan Horse. Stephen was up on his Classics today, I think.
Rehman: “In the words of Zorba the Greek, ‘only if there’s a catastrophe’ – or a natural disaster, can they give money to a country.”
I’d call that a somewhat liberal paraphrasing – In the 1964 film, Zorba the Greek actually says “Am I not a man? And is not a man stupid? I’m a man. So I married. Wife, children, everything – the full catastrophe”
Thursday: Iraqracy
“Remember, in our last election, John Edwards certainly wasn’t shooting blanks.”
**Friend of the show, former presidential candidate, and apologetic **adulterer John Edwards has recently admitted to fathering a child with his mistress Rielle Hunter, during his campaign (and during his wife’s cancer treatment).
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! Hands down, my favorite freeze-frame moment of the week has got to be the Super Bowl Ad Office Pool. Wouldn’t you watch the Dr. Pepper Chickens doing the Superbowl Shuffle (Go Bears!), or the Snickers Beaver giving stock tips? Also, I don’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for poor little David-after-the-dentist, achieving You Tube infamy at such a young age. What were your favorite bits this week, and are you just busting waiting for the Olympics segments to come out? (** = TCR/TDS link)
Monday: The Word – Faux ‘n’ Tell
“The FBI are terrible at finding out the truth. Even their most famous agents, Mulder and Scully, never found the truth out there.”
In the excellent sci-fi series The X-Files (aired 1993-2002), FBI Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully investigated cases of possible paranormal, alien, and supernatural origins. While Scully was the duo’s designated skeptic, Mulder was a believer in aliens and conspiracy theories – the show’s tagline “The Truth Is Out There” became iconic. Back in his TDS days, **Stephen did his own investigations into alien abductions.
“What about his turn-ons, his turn-offs? Boxers or briefs? Invisibility or flight? Ginger or Mary Ann?”
Gilligan’s Island was in production for only three seasons (1964-1967), but it became a (goofy) cultural touchstone during its decades in syndication. The show’s mismatched group of castaways (who went out for – sing it with me – a three hour tour) included the glamorous but high-maintenance Ginger, and the sensible girl-next-door Mary Ann. In a precursor to **Do, Dump, or Marry, the question quickly became Ginger or Mary Ann?
Stephen also gives a quick shout-out to Jules Verne (20,000 Leagues Under The Sea), Philip K. Dick (for his human-like replicants, as in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, later made into the film Bladerunner), and Tom Clancy (Debt of Honor).
Tuesday: Celebrate Black History Month With Heineken & George Stephanopoulos
“You can practically see Malcolm X with his finger in that dike.”
Prominent black civil rights leader Malcolm X as the little dutch boy? That has got to be one of the weirder images around. The story about a little Dutch boy who saves his town by plugging a hole in a dike with his finger originally appeared in American author Mary Mapes Dodge’s 1865 novel Hans Brinker, or The Silver Skates.
“My guest tonight is, I believe, an imaginary pundit that only Big Bird can see.”
I admit, this little play on Stephanopoulos’s name just about made me snort cherry spice tea (in case you’re wondering, yuk) out my nose. Fans of Sesame Street will remember Big Bird’s best friend, the wooly mammoth-like muppet Snuffleupagus. But younger generations may not know that the character was originally only seen by Big Bird and the audience, while the other inhabitants of Sesame Street believed he was just an imaginary friend. In 1985, producers of the show revealed Snuffy to the rest of the characters, in part out of concerns that the old storyline would lead child victims of abuse to think that adults don’t believe children even when they’re telling the truth. **Stephen has visited Sesame Street before (as Jon happily points out), and **Sesame Street has come to The Report, too.
Wednesday: Better Know A District – Illinois’ 5th
“Before the break, we got to better know Illinois’ 5th congressional district, which has been represented by Dan Rostenkowski and Rod Blagojevich. So naturally I took a bribe from my sponsors and went to commercial.”
Oh, the long history of corruption and scandal in Chicago politics. Where to even begin? A don of Chicago’s old school machine politics, Rostenkowski served as U.S. Representative from 1959 to 1994, when he was brought down by charges of corruption and money laundering (he served 15 months in prison for mail fraud). Blagojevich earned his infamy during his six years as Illinois governor, which ended in his 2009 impeachment for (among other things) soliciting bribes in an attempt to sell the state’s vacant senate seat. **As good a candidate for Alpha Dog status as I’ve seen.
Thursday: Iran Begins Enriching Uranium & David Ross
“What the hell is uranian? I think it might be related to unobtanium, because why else would they be wearing 3D glasses?”
In the recent 3D sci-fi film Avatar, humans mine the valuable mineral unobtanium on the moon Pandora. However, the term has a much longer history, having been used since the 1950’s in science fiction and engineering to refer to any material which is so expensive, rare, or impossible that it is essentially unobtainable.
“The eagle is bringing the laurel crown to the Gorton’s fisherman.”
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! How is it February already? Impossible! Still, I have it on good authority that we’ve got only 6 weeks of winter left, and you’d better believe I’m going to hold that dirty little rodent to it! The show has kicked off the month admirably – I love it when we get new segments, and Job Man Caravan was a hoot, what with that intro straight out of The Soul Train. Also, at last count, urbandictionary.com had 521 exceedingly NSFW definitions for “Canada’s History“. Go Nation! Don’t forget to check out the TCR/TDS links, and post your favorite bits in the comments! (** = TCR/TDS link)
Monday: The Word – Siren Song
“But their old relationship was perfect – it was tantalizingly unconsummated, like Bella and Edward.”
Pick a side – Twilight fans are at war! A continuing thread through the novels (and films) is the love triangle in which the mysterious, handsome vampire Edward competes with the mysterious, handsome shape-shifter Jacob for Bella’s love. This must mean Stephen is on Team Edward. But then we always knew **Stephen wanted to be a vampire!
“True leaders stand on their principles, not on their accomplishments [World's Greatest Leader: Dennis Kucinich]“
You know, it almost makes me wish Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) would run for President again. The house elf and leprechaun jokes flew freely, he was put on **Stephen’s pocket sized On Notice board, and in a hilarious prop bit, **Kucinich emptied his pockets on the show (you’ll never guess what he finds!).
Tuesday: The Wørd – Cognoscor Ergo Sum & Bananafish Tale & Eliot Spitzer
“Unfortunately, ijustmadelove.com limits your choices to one of six positions and four locations – indoor, outdoor, on a boat, or in a car. I’m sorry, but I’ve eaten green eggs and ham in more places than that. If you know what I mean.”
“I would not, could not in a tree, not in a car, you let me be!” (there’s an animated version of Green Eggs and Ham, but the book is infinitely better). Thanks, Stephen – I’m going to have some serious trouble reading Dr. Seuss at bedtime now. No, really. (“Would you, could you, with a goat?”)
“I believe famous people have to stand on more than their talent. Take Heidi Montag, she’s a huge celebrity, and she has the courtesy to keep her talents hidden.”
Another proud product of reality TV, Heidi Montag first surfaced as a roommate in MTV’s reality show The Hills. She’s since drawn significant attention for her numerous plastic surgeries, and somewhat less attention for her recent debut album.
“The only sadness is not to be a saint.”
Apparently a favorite quote of Stephen’s (he used it in his MUSC commencement address), it’s from the French Catholic philosopher Jacques Maritain. The subject of the interview, JD Salinger, has been discussed on the Report many times before, of course (see NFZ’s previous Apopcalypse & memorial coverage).
[To Eliot Spitzer] “Do you have any big plans after the show tonight?”
Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (and friend of the show – **Guitarmaggedon!) got himself into a bit of hot water in 2008, when it was discovered that he had been patronizing a high-priced prostitution service. In fact, records showed that after his last appearance on the Report, Spitzer high-tailed it out of the studio and headed off for one of his liaisons, which **makes Stephen the meat in a Spitzer sandwich (eww! but also see CC’s great **Spitzer mashup).
Wednesday: Intro & Be Almost All That You Can Be
“Jon Stewart went on the O’Reilly Factor tonight. I hope he brought me back a toaster.”
In 2007, Stephen and Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly traded appearances on each other’s shows. While over at the O’Reilly Factor, Stephen stole a microwave (really, truly!) from the green room, and then **placed it on his shelf, though he did buy them **a Colbert Report microwave to replace it.
“We haven’t heard a peep from… Captain Crunch, Sgt. Slaughter, Major Garrett, Lt. Dan, Private Practice, or Colonel Sanders… What would happen if our brave sailors got tattoos, hung around with loose women, or drank alcohol? Before you know it, they’ll be freebasing spinach.”
That’s a mouthful of names, plus the classic American children’s model of high morality and healthy living, Popeye the Sailorman.
In July 2009, **friend of the show Henry Louis Gates was arrested as he tried to enter his Boston area home, after neighbors reported a possible burglary in progress. The arrest sparked charges of racial profiling, and eventually led to President Obama inviting Gates and arresting officer Sgt. Crowley to the White House for the so-called “Beer Summit”. **Stephen said it was the perfect crime, but he also **thinks it was a teachable moment. (Did you notice during the show, there were two beers behind the interview table?)
“Now, I may be a simple country lawyer…”
That was a simultaneously hilarious and spot-on impression of Gregory Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird (just listen to audio from the climactic courtroom scene and compare). However, the line itself is from Jimmy Stewart’s role as Paul Biegler in Anatomy of a Murder. My personal favorite instance of the trope is Futurama’s “simple country Hyperchicken“.
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! I’m still walking around singing “Three is a magic number” – I love me some Schoolhouse Rock! I can’t believe Arthur Benjamin didn’t catch that one in his interview (and yes, that in a tiny way makes me feel slightly better about my inability to multiply even two-digit numbers in my head – because I’ve got Schoolhouse Rock! skillz.) What were the highlights for you this week? And what about your favorite Schoolhouse Rock! segments? (** = TCR/TDS link)
Monday: Intro & The Wørd – Manifest Density
“Did you hear? I’m the new quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings.”
Ok, I get that Brett Favre is one of American football’s all-time greats. But the endless saga of retirements and returns has moved into the realm of the absurd, hasn’t it? **Even Stephen has taken up the national past time of Brett Favre retirement watching. Long-time quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, Favre announced his retirement in early 2008, came back, left for the NY Jets, retired again in early 2009, then signed back on with the Minnesota Vikings. Recent reports suggest he’s considering another “retirement”. **Stephen’s already got his speech ready.
“The economy’s gotten so bad that Rich Uncle Pennybags is now selling himself on the boardwalk.”
I suspect that must be from the NSFW Edition of Monopoly (oh, you laugh, but with hundreds of licensed versions, I bet there is one). **Monopolyopoly will always be my favorite, though.
Tuesday: Mika Brzezinski
“I love your name. I think your father is a great man, Zbigniew Brzezinski.”
Professor of American foreign policy at Johns Hopkins University, Zbigniew Brzezinski was National Security Advisor to President Jimmy Carter from 1977-1981.
Wednesday: Hamid Karzai’s Fashionable Hat & Arthur Benjamin
“It’s a classic. It says I am ready to lead. And/or drive a tiny car in a parade.”
Here’s an American tradition that, on reflection, seems a bit… well, odd. The Shriners are a fraternal organization whose charitable arm runs a network of hospitals which provide free care to children (especially treatment for burns, orthopedic conditions, and spinal cord injuries). But they’re also a much loved staple at Independence & Memorial Day parades, wearing fezzes and driving around in tiny cars.
“Don’t say Wednesday. ‘Monday’s child is full of grace, Tuesday’s child is fair of face. Wednesday’s child is full of woe.’” [Traditional English nursery rhyme]
“What is the loneliest number? One. I would have also accepted two, because two can be as bad as one. What is the magic number? Three is the magic number.”
Who else was answering these out loud at the screen? “One is the Loneliest Number” was originally released by Harry Nilsson in 1968, but became a hit in 1969 when covered by Three Dog Night. As for the magic number? That’s “Three is a Magic Number“, from Schoolhouse Rock!, a classic TV series of educational animated shorts. Originally produced from 1973-1986, it then aired intermittently until 1999. Go watch some – they’re just as clever and catchy as you remember! Also, see the eminently funky danceable version by the fantastic De La Soul.
Look it up? Yes, sir. Jefferson Davis, a former Secretary of War, was serving as US Senator from Mississippi when the state seceded from the Union in 1861, at the outset of the American Civil War. He was later appointed, then elected, President of the newly formed Confederate States of America, and served for the duration of the war (and the Confederacy). Though the capital of the Confederacy was initially in Montgomery, Alabama, it was soon moved to Richmond, Virginia (in the same Statehouse building where McDonnell’s speech was given). And yes, it’s only tangentially related, but **Stephen says there’s absolutely nothing gay about Civil War reenactments (innuendos and character breaks galore!).
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! I can’t tell you how excited I am about the upcoming Olympics segments, not to mention the actual competitions themselves. I might even watch some curling! This week’s shows were great, as always, but I thought the interviews in particular really shone. What about you, what were your favorite bits this week? (** = TCR/TDS link)
Monday: Coal Comfort & Emily Pilloton
“In the early days of coal mining, it was dirty, dangerous work, as seen in this sad footage. We lost a lot of good men to inflatable dragons.”
A surefire way to invoke pop culture nostalgia for me? References to early ’80’s computer/arcade games. That “sad footage” was of Dig Dug, where your objective was to tunnel underground and destroy monsters by inflating them or dropping rocks on them. You can even play it online.
“I feel like Dr. Percy Dovetonsils”
I think this has to be my favorite screencap of the week, and Stephen’s comment made me laugh out loud. The lisping, slightly soused, extremely bespectacled Percy Dovetonsils was a character of the great Ernie Kovacs, known for his innovative and experimental television comedy in the 1950’s (check out his Howdee Dee Dee Show). Zoners have also noted a certain resemblance to Sherman and Mister Peabody; I’m not sure which amuses me most! (h/t Rose)
Tuesday: Skate Expectations & Stephen Bosworth
“Do you have anything with more of a.. lower heel than this, because I’m more of a Charlotte.”
The acclaimed HBO show Sex & The City (1998-2004) followed a group of four high-style career women in New York, and their musings about love, fashion, work, sex and shoes. The character Charlotte, played by Kristin Davis, was probably the most conventional of the set. Stephen can’t always keep the characters straight, but he knows he’s **”the classy one, who looked really clean”. And don’t forget, **Carrie Bradshaw’s laptop is a National Treasure, just like Stephen’s portrait.
“I saw M*A*S*H. By the way, how do the Koreans see us? Do they think of us all as Alan Alda?”
Set in a Korean War field hospital (“Mobile Army Surgical Hospital”), and starring Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H (based on the 1970 Robert Altman film) was one of the most popular shows on American television during its 11 seasons on air – its final episode remains the most watched television program in US history. The show was known for its adept mix of comedic and dramatic elements (lovingly spoofed in Futurama, where a surgeon robot iHawk has only 2 settings: Irreverent and Maudlin).
“What do they think is normal relations? Because when their President Kim Jong Il was elected, pear trees bloomed in the wintertime and a rare albino sea cucumber sang his praises”
If the whole situation in North Korea weren’t so tragic, you could probably make a hilarious film charting the wild fictions about Kim Jong Il, and his father Kim Il Sung. The official story about the Kims’ origins is the creation myth at the heart of what is essentially a mandated state religion, to justify complete autocratic rule and filial succession. Actually, I bet Terry Gilliam could pull it off.
Wednesday: Boston Dream Guy
“And the upset was pulled off by new political superstar Scott…. I’m sorry, was it Baio?” [pictured: Scott Baio, of Happy Days and Charles in Charge fame]
“Up until now, the only super minority Republicans had seen was Agua Man. He can talk to ceviche.”
Wow, the writers are all over the comics lately. Surely it’s the mark of a well rounded person to be equally fluent with the likes of Jane Austen and DC Comics. Plus, Aquaman in a sombrero with a moustache is just too funny. Reminds me of when Stephen was running for President in the Marvel Universe (**with a dashing hint at his secret identity!).
Thursday: Own a Piece of Histor-Me & Taliban Public Relations“The good folks at AT&T will match your bid. They’re the ones who own Luke Wilson.”
The War of the Wireless continues, I guess. After its lawsuit against Verizon for “misleading” advertisements was dismissed, AT&T shot back with a series of ads featuring actor Luke Wilson. Seems a step down from films like The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore, don’t you think?
“That’s right, this madman has hired Madmen.”
You know, I’d quite like to see the Taliban top dogs in dark suits, skinny ties, and pocket squares, just for the amusing visual contradiction. TCR graphics staff, get on that, would you? AMC series Mad Men is set in a high power advertising agency in 1960’s America. It has garnered praise during its three seasons on air to date, particularly for attention to period detail in costuming and production design.
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Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).
Hey Zoners! What a magnificent week. Cheating Death! The fantastic reimagining of It’s A Wonderful Life! Wednesday’s epic Sport Report character break! Desk-licking! Philip Glass! Morgan Freeman! Whew, I’m all dizzy just thinking about it. Lots of fun links this week – what were your favorite bits? (** = TCR/TDS link)
Monday: Harry Reid’s Racist Comment & Morgan Freeman
“It is shameful that Harry Reid cynically thinks Americans are more likely to vote for a light skinned African American who talks like a professor than, say, Lil Jon. Oh, and I suppose Obama’s not supposed to drink his crunk juice, either.”
Lil Jon (formerly of Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz) is a rapper, producer, and purveyor of crunk music (e.g. Usher’s “Yeah”, featuring Lil Jon – or even better, this hilarious, NSFW, Lil Jon/LazyTown mashup). What, did someone say “What a great excuse to **watch Stephen rapping? **With Alicia Keys?” Why yes, I did, thanks. (h/t Ms I and DB)
“My guest tonight can finally check me off his bucket list.”
Ever classy, ever versatile, Morgan Freeman starred opposite Jack Nicholson in 2007’s The Bucket List, in which two men dying of cancer take a road trip to fulfill their list of things to do before they die (kick the bucket).
Tuesday: We Are at War – Philip Glass & Cheating Death
“Plus, there are so many more important stories, like the serious situation developing on the Jersey Shore.”
Here’s a great example of why reality television can make us feel so much smarter in comparison: MTV’s Jersey Shore, which follows a group of Italian-American 20-somethings spending summer vacation in a New Jersey beach house. High class entertainment, to be sure.
“Once again, folks, evidently it falls to me to show the president how to give the speech that we are evidently demanding, a speech that is both repetitious and groundbreaking. Ladies and gentlemen, Philip Glass”
Can I just say that I’m terribly impressed that Philip Glass was on the show, and such an it-getter? Glass is considered one of the most influential contemporary composers, with an inimitable style based in repetitive structures. Among his more accessible and well-known works are the scores he wrote for the astonishing Quatsi trilogy (the first film, Koyaanisquatsi, can be seen in full here).
“Now, due to a pending patent, I cannot tell you the active ingredient, but let’s just say it also allows you to dangle from a beam by your hard hat.”
Hee, I remember how perplexing I found this commercial for Krazy Glue (cyanoacrylate). It’s useful for fixing broken cups? Mending shoes? Sure. But suspending a construction worker from an I-beam by his hard hat? Call me krazy, but I never had a need.
Wednesday: Game Change Gossip & Sport Report
“The black guy is your caddy who inspires you with proverbs until you win the golf championship and then disappears in the mists.”
Robert Redford’s 2000 film The Legend of Bagger Vance (based on a book by Steven Pressfield) starred Will Smith as Bagger Vance, a caddy with a philosophical bent who coaches a washed-up golf prodigy (played by Matt Damon) back to success in golf and love, and then disappears as mysteriously as he arrived. Quite apart from being, as I recall, overlong and somewhat dull, the film has been criticized for perpetuating the trope of the “magical negro”.
“That’s why Bonds‘ steroids will be the first inducted into the Performance Enhancing Hall of Fame, where they’ll be joined by Sammy Sosa’s alleged HGH, Roger Clemens‘ reported anabolics, and Honus Wagner’s well-documented use of ground up Chinamen.”
The last decade has seen a rise in concern over the prevalence of performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball, with repeating waves of speculation and denials among some of the highest profile players In 2005, Congress even got involved, initiating hearings on the issue (the so-called BALCO scandal, named after a “nutrition center” accused of distributing steroids to players). Stephen’s always been in favor of juicing; he stood up for Clemens during the hearings **and ewww, Stephen keeps medical waste mementos from his time at The Daily Show. Poor, innocent Honus Wagner must be a favorite for his name, rich with comic potential; he’s already been a side effect for Prescott Pharmaceutical’s Fulcrum (**Cheating Death – Sexual Health – one of my favorites!).
Thursday: Watercressgate & Kathleen Sebelius
“Folks, I miss the Reagan administration, when you knew what a vegetable was: Ketchup.”
In 1981, after dramatic cuts to school lunch program funding, the USDA proposed reclassifying ketchup as a vegetable, which would count toward the minimum nutritional standards requiring two vegetables to be served for each subsidized meal. The ensuing public uproar and ridicule inexplicably took the agency, and the Reagan administration, by surprise.
“You get a vaccine! And you get a vaccine! And you get a vaccine!”
On her 19th season opener in 2004, Oprah Winfrey stunned viewers by giving away a new car to every member of the studio audience ($7 million of cars, donated by Pontiac as a publicity stunt). The moment has become famous for Oprah yelling “You get a car! And you get a car! And you get a car… Everybody gets a car!” over a screaming audience. The parallel scene at The Colbert Report: “You get a WristStrong! And you get a WristStrong!” At The Daily Show: “You get a Bic pen! And you get a Bic pen!”
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