Author Archive
Episode 5006 (1/13/2009)
Posted by: | CommentsA house divided against itself cannot stand, but it’s worth squat in this market anyway. This is The Colbert Report!”
Gas-Nost: “Tonight, Russians cut off the natural gas pipeline to Europe in the most boring James Bond plotline ever.”
- Actually, this is still a better plotline than Tomorrow Never Dies.
Union Jerk: “Plus a new threat from England. You’ll never guess what they’ve managed to put into a pie.”
- Something tastes squirrely in Denmark (actually England, but whatever)
Niall’d Him: “And my guest Niall Ferguson has written a financial history of the world. Why didn’t he write a book with a happy ending?”
- Actually a sharp, charming with nice teeth.
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Niall Ferguson – The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World
In closing: “That is all the time we have for tonight’s show. Tomorrow night’s too, and last night’s. It’s the same amount of time every night so stop acting so surprised. Goodnight!”
Video Highlight:
On Notice/Dead to Me – Limey Squirrel Eaters
Bloodthirsty blokes react to the economic downturn by eating squirrels.
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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Episode 4122 (9/29/2008)
Posted by: | Comments“Nation, I will always make eye contact with you. This is The Colbert Report!”
Wall Street Bleak: “Tonight, are we turning our back on the free market? And is that a good idea considering what it’s been doing to us from the front”
- Thanks but no thanks on that bail-out to nowhere
The Wørd: Ye of Little Faith
Death Becomes Him: “And another edition of my health segment Cheating Death. Warning: You are not covered”
- Brought to you by Prescott Pharmaceuticals
Begala B’Golly: “Then, my guest Paul Begala says a McCain Presidency would be four more years of President Bush. Wrong! It could be eight years.”
- Political Pundit Paul Begala
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Paul Begala – Third Term: Why George W. Bush (Hearts) John McCain
In closing: “That’s it for the Report, everybody. Goodnight!”
Video Highlight:
The Word – Ye of Little Faith
Being eaten alive by the market is better than admitting the government should have any role.
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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Episode 4121 (9/25/2008)
Posted by: | CommentsEarly to bed, early to rise makes a man miss my show. This is The Colbert Report!”
Debate and Switch: “Tonight, will there be a Presidential debate tomorrow? I say we settle that question with a debate”
NYVP: “Then, Sarah Palin comes to New York City. I heard she can see the Russian tea-room from her hotel”
- National Organization for Women President Kim Gandy endorses the vagina-less Barack Obama for President
Carr Talk: “Plus, my guest Nick Carr thinks the internet is making us superficial. Well I was superficial way before the internet”
- Guest: Author Nicholas Carr
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Nicholas Carr – The Big Switch: Rewiring the World, from Edison to Google
In closing: “That’s it for the Report. One more thing…good night.”
Video Highlight:
Nights of Rodanthe Premiere
It’s time to put petty politics aside for the opening of “Nights in Rodanthe.”
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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Episode 4120 (9/24/2008)
Posted by: | Comments“This message will self-destruct but only if you have one of those new exploding TVs. This is The Colbert Report!”
Hey Bail!: “Tonight, the Wall Street bailout: Should we give Henry Paulson unchecked power or merely unfettered omnipotence”
- New York Times Columnist Joe Nocera
- 74th Secretary of Treasury Henry M. Paulson Jr.
The Dog Shouterer: “Then I name my Alpha Dog of the Week. He’s so impressive your leg will want to hump him”
- Former Secretary of Education Bill Bennett
- Harvard Law School
West Toast: “And my guest is Professor Cornel West, author of Hope on a Tightrope. I’ll introduce him to Rage on a Soundstage!”
- Guest: Author Cornel West
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Cornel West – Hope on a Tightrope: Words and Wisdom
In closing: “That’s it for the Report, everybody. Goodnight.”
Video Highlight:
Cornel West
Cornel West believes we’re at a moment where we need courage, compassion and hope.
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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Episode 4119 (9/23/2008)
Posted by: | Comments“Hey, autumnal equinox! If the nights are getting longer, why is my show still only a half-hour? This is The Colbert Report!”
Bailing Wall: “Tonight, the government wants to spend $700 Billion to bail out Wall Street. What’s the quickest way to set-up a massive failing firm?”
The Wørd: OhMyGodSocietyIsCollapsingAndWeWillSoonBeDevouringEachOtherIn-
TheStreetsLikeDogsAndACrippledOne-EyedBoyWillBeKingIfWeDon’tFixThisByNextWeek!
What Can Browne Do For My Show?: “And my guest Jackson Browne is suing John McCain for using one of his songs. But McCain has a very good lawyer: Sarah Palin’s shotgun.”
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Jackson Browne – Time the Conquerer
Video Highlight:
Stephen Loses to Don Rickles
Stephen punishes one of his writers [Peter Grosz] for helping Don Rickles win an Emmy.
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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Episode 4119 (9/23/2008)
Posted by: | Comments“Hey, autumnal equinox! If the nights are getting longer, why is my show still only a half-hour? This is The Colbert Report!”
Bailing Wall: “Tonight, the government wants to spend $700 Billion to bail out Wall Street. What’s the quickest way to set-up a massive failing firm?”
The Wørd: OhMyGodSocietyIsCollapsingAndWeWillSoonBeDevouringEachOtherIn
TheStreetsLikeDogsAndACrippledOne-EyedBoyWillBeKingIfWeDon’tFixThisByNextWeek!
What Can Browne Do For My Show?: “And my guest Jackson Browne is suing John McCain for using one of his songs. But McCain has a very good lawyer: Sarah Palin’s shotgun.”
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Jackson Browne – Time the Conquerer
In closing: “Noooooo! Goodnight everybody!”
Video Highlight:
The Word – OhMyGodSocietyIsCollapsing…:
We have to give unchecked financial power to the president and his appointees so they can implement a plan that no one understands.
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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Episode 4113 (9/4/2008)
Posted by: | CommentsWarning: I may contain more than a trace amount of nut. This is The Colbert Report!”
Street Fighting Neighbor: “Tonight, hockey mom Sarah Palin delivers a rousing speech at the Republican Convention, though she was given five minutes for high-sticking”
- Sarah Palin is music to the Republicans’ ears
Convention-al Warfare: “And the Republicans dish up more red meat, if you count human sacrifice.”
- Rudy Giuliani is a FUNNY GUY!
Paul Buster: “Then former Presidential candidate Ron Paul sits down with former Presidential candidate Stephen Colbert.”
- Viva La The Revolution
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Ron Paul – The Revolution: A Manifesto
In closing: “Well that’s it for the Report. Join us tomorrow when hopefully…..oh sh*t, my flight!”
Video Highlight:
Adam Brickley
Adam Brickley explains how he influenced the direction of American politics from his mom’s house.
R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
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