Episode 5142 (11/05/2009)
By
EPISODE NUMBER: 5142 (November 5, 2009)
GUESTS: Joey Cheek, Chief William Bratton
SEGMENTS: Guy Fawking, Canada Iceholes go “On Notice”, Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
VIDEOS: Thursday, November 5, 2009
Nothing warms the cockles of my heart more than the appearance of the On Notice boards. And to see Canadian Iceholes put On Notice was just funny to me. I love how, in true “Stephen” fashion, Stephen quickly grabbed the Gold to wear during the interview.
So I know there were tons of people wigged out when Stephen had tarantulas put all over him. How did you all feel about Vaxaconda? I thought it was one of my favorite Prescott Pharmaceutical medicines of all time. I mean, seriously, a live boa?! Massive!
What was your favorite side effect from the evening? And what else did you think about the episode?
- But this Bachman teabag overdrive was more than just a protest.
- We needed something new – it was far too easy to mock the tea parties with immature jokes about teabagging. But now we can show our support for traditional values behind these Guy Fawkers. Today, folks, we’re Guy Fawking to stop health care reform. Tomorrow, we Guy Fawke gay marriage.
- We, the Colbert Naiton, had to step up, because our US speedskaters bring home more gold than any other winter team. Even the Olympic Prospecting Team. “Gold, gold, I tell you! I want Gold!” They actually took home the bronze.
- Those syrup suckers will now let our athletes practice at their Olympic venues.
- And you know how Mormons feel about two men lying down on each other.
- Joey Cheek: At the end of the day, it’s really just a dick move.
- I say we put Canada on notice. Boys, bring oot the On Notice Board! Let’s do it!
- Canadian Iceholes – put it right up there. Before we do it, let’s rub it in by playing the Canadian National Anthem.
- Canada, do the right thing and open that oval! U-Ice-A! U-Ice-A! U-Ice-A!
- As always, Cheating Death is brought to you by Prescott Pharmaceuticals. The only medicine on the market with a cap so simple, a child could open it.
- Swine Flu scam detector – Side effects may include Varicose Brains, Will.I.Amnesia, and Swine Flu.
- New research has found the answer in the form of venom from the deadly mamba snake. Not to be confused with the deadly Mambo snake which is how Lou Bega refers to his penis.
- Vaxaconda is guaranteed to prevent kidney failure and rodent infestations. Vaxaconda in the economy size or in a travel size, which they market as peanut brittle. Vaxaconda maybe taken orally, or as a suppository. Just lay down and let the snake decide.
- Side effects of Vaxaconda may include Hunch Front, Mathelete’s Foot, and Chest of the D’Urbervilles.
Related posts
41 Comments
November 6th, 2009 at 9:14 am
I was a big fan of the snake, no surprise there!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 9:18 am
I thought it was sooo funny that he still had Jane Fonda on notice
XD I laughed so hard at that, I thought that he would have taken it down by now.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 9:29 am
There’s something so right about that picture of Stephen with the gold donut. What a show! Celine Dion, snakes, Joey Cheek!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Oh and national anthem of Canada… :)
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I was so worried that Stephen would have gone too far if he sang the ACTUAL anthem.
Fortunately, he went with an in-character “poorly-informed” version. :D
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 10:07 am
I’m so happy to see On Notice! That snake was GREAT. I remember too, just how creepy those spiders were but seeing Stephen holding that snake was definitely a wonderful sight to behold.
Was it just me or did Stephen sound a little bit like Jon Stewart in the interview with Chief William Bratton? Except for a couple of things here and there, he seemed very engaged and asked straight no-nonsense questions.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I noticed that in the interview as well. I really loved the interview because of that fact – Stephen asked great questions and I thought Chief Bratton handled himself very well :)
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 10:16 am
National Anthem FTW!
Cool boa constrictor. Amazing Stephen kept his composure all throughout. I would definitely be freaking out at some point.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Snakes are very cool, but the best thing about that particular prop was the Tess of the D’Urbervilles pun for the side effect. (English major alert!)
I wish we’d gotten an update on what amount’s been raised for the US Speedskating team so far, but good show, all around. It’s a comfort to be able to laugh at things, and Stephen’s great at giving us the opportunity.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Thanks for catching that reference (Tess of the D’Ubervilles) and for fixing the error in the guide – it was totally lost on me. Maybe we’ll catch that in the Apopcalypse post this week (hint, hint Wren).
And you’re right, with the horrible things that were happening here in Texas, it was a relief to just get away from it all for a few moments.
I’m sure we’ll here an update about how the fundraising is going soon. I really hope that we, the Colbert Nation, can really make Stephen proud with this whole speedskating sponsorship call.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Ah, the benefit of a liberal arts education: occasionally, you can catch references on The Colbert Report to which you might otherwise be oblivious. :)
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Can we reach $300K? That is the question.
He’s going to have to hammer it pretty hard, especially in this economy.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Ha, I thought the Tess reference was too obvious, so I didn’t include it in the. But I’ve added a line now ;)
ReCaptcha: The karenina – A trendy new dance?
Reply
November 7th, 2009 at 3:10 am
(Everytime Tess gets mentioned, Anna and Emma want their say too!)
November 6th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Yes! I loved the Tess of the D’Ubervilles reference! I also loved the snake. I like snakes. Ok, I know that’s not very “girlie” but I do. I don’t have one as a pet though simply because I’m too much of a sissy about feeding them.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Stephen showed some guts handling that snake. I wonder if they’d given it a shot of something beforehand?
I vote for Cheating Death, though I loved seeing Stephen with the “gold medal” too. I hope we hear more about the speed-skating fund raising on Monday!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Maybe, the snake seemed a bit lethargic, don’t they usually coil around one more? It was a cool, and shocking, prop nonetheless.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Boas and pythons, not sure which that was, are both pretty docile.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
OT Just wanted to give a shout out to the incredible Glen Beck “appendix” rant by Stewart last night. It was spot on!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
It was pretty excellent. Someone up above mentioned that Stephen seemed Stewart-esque during the interview last night. Kind of ironic seeing as Stewart had such a Colbert moment with his Beck spoof.
I love those two.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
I just saw it. This is probably going to come out wrong, but Jon is much better casting for Beck than Stephen, and it was so great that his acting rose to the occasion to do the part justice. He nailed it. It was very gratifying. He’s improved since Death to Smoochy!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I mentioned that in my post and just noticed yours as well :)
I LOVED it! My face hurt after it from smiling so much. It was no less than perfect and I sincerely hope that Beck saw it – Jon completely nailed him :)
reCAPTCHA – evasion Nixon
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
It was massive! :-)
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Seconded. That was awesome! I replayed the video when it was already on the site. Brilliant stuff.
Speaking of projects, does anyone know what happened to Stephen’s 10.31 project?
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
I agree – I just watched it, and he really was fantastically spot on with that impression! Incredibly funny writing, and really brilliantly performed!!
Reply
November 7th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Jon was absolutely wonderful in that segment! How dare he say he can’t act?!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
:( canada gets up on notice made me cry. ahha!
we looove you stephen!
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Yay for the return of the On Notice board! And double yay for the “d*ck move” line by Joey Cheeks!
Cheating Death is one my favorite segments, and I still cannot get enough of that bit with the “Vaxaconda”, but my favorite part of the show last night was actually “Guy Fawking”. The “we’ll Guy Fawk gay marriage line” was SO fantastic – I laughed so hard through that whole segment.
LOVE the purple tie as well! Big thanks to the TCR wardrobe department for that. :)
On a side note, and not to take away from TCR, but did anyone see The Daily Show last night? Jon’s Glenn Beck segment was, no exaggeration, one of the greatest bits of satire I have ever SEEN. :D
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
First (for me) it was “twatted.” Then “Go fjuck yourselves.” Tonight it was “Guy-Fawkers.”
Colbert is such a skirter, and that’s a good thing. I wonder if he paid the FCC for any of those.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
The “Go fjuck yourselves” line might be my favorite thing he’s ever said on TCR :) I love his twitter-speak as well ha; a great one was when he talked about Miley Cyrus closing her twitter account and he said, “Folks, this is a twagedy.” HI-larious! :D
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
I don’t think FCC could fine him for any of those (at least during the 11:30pm show. The FCC’s indecency fines only affect shows aired between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. But he does get repeated several times a day, so I guess they could on a re-run. But the FCC seemed to be more mellow now, which I think is a good thing.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Plus, the FCC actually only enforces indecency/profanity rules on broadcast TV, not cable.
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Who is Stephen writing these checks to then? :)
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/70563/june-13-2006/the-word—great-f—ing-idea
November 6th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
OMG, I can’t wait to see this episode! My train buddy and I were just saying this morning that we haven’t seen the On Notice Board in a while. And my favorite recurring segment is Cheating Death.
A double-header! Yay! (Will not read comments until tomorrow…Really.)
Reply
November 6th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
TDS and TCR was both on fire last night. Loved the Beck sketch and the on notice.
Someone at DailyKos commented that they were sorta said DKos was taken off the on notice board =)
Reply
November 7th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
What a beautiful beast, the boa was nice too.
Reply
November 7th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Yes, Prescott Pharmaceuticals, the only medicine on the market with a cap so simple that a child can open it; a $6000 Swine Flu scam detector that looks completely user friendly and so familiar, just like a shoe box for boots(?) with a spatula handle and a vacuum cleaner hose; Vaxaconda (a heavy and big pharmaceutical remedy), a new Prescott product for heart problems which Stephen had in the economy size, able to be taken orally or as a suppository — the patient need only lie down and let the snake decide –with only 3 major side effects, 1 in math (Mathelete’s Foot), 1 in English (Chest of the D’Urbervilles), and 1 called Hunch Front for a little out of category variety, unless some other school subject area was meant and this joke went right over my head — the absolutely entire segment from beginning to end was so thoroughly enjoyable.
The “Cheating Death” segment is one of my favorites if not my truly favorite, as I’ve said before, and Thursday night’s segment was no exception, being totally entertaining and delightful, as was Stephen holding that heavy Vaxaconda medication from Prescott in his arms — great fun. I guess I vote for this segment although the whole episode was just wonderful.
Reply
November 12th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I was thinking it had been too long since anyone had been put on notice. I also love it when Stephen mentions Canada. For some reason, an episode that combines the two does not give me completely unalloyed joy… I have no idea why we aren’t sharing our speed skating track, and I apologize. I wonder if we can get the Prime Minister to go on TCR before the whole country is “dead to him”.
Reply
November 18th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
I’ve been trying to find something about Canada making this ‘unprecedented’move by restricting the U.S. Speed skating team’s practice times, but can’t seem to. If it’s true, I hope they don’t think we’ll be cheering if our Canadian team does well; we don’t want a medal if it’s won unfairly. Does anyone know where the source story is? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind about playing fair…I love my country, but that is a dick move!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 7:02 am
It doesn’t seem to be true. Apparently the oval has been open to all comers all fall and no American has asked to train there. All the international teams have been allotted time in the leadup to the games. (Not that that will cut any ice (so to speak) in the “no fact zone”. The VanOC committee is delighted. They have offered to make Stephen Colbert an ombudsman, which would give him unlimited access to the games. The story is here: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/take+that+syrup+sucking+label+thanks/2240112/story.html
He implied in the Nov 18 show that he would go to Vancouver, so it looks as though he will take them up on it. Great news!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Thanks so much for the info–that’s great news all around. I’m sure Stephen will have a blast if he goes…should be fun :)
Reply