Episode 5037 (3/16/2009)
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EPISODE NUMBER: 5037 (March 16, 2009)
GUESTS: Jonathan Chait, Neil Gaiman
SEGMENTS: Desk interview, Better Know a Governor redux
VIDEOS: Monday, March 16, 2009
Ah, mondays! So glad that Stephen Colbert is back in all his megalomaniacal glory, and I know I’ll be enjoying the ‘Colbert Report’ an extra little bit this week knowing that the show is dark next week.
I know that Stephen knows what kind of mob he can wield when he puts his mind to it. But to put pitchforks and torches in our hands might be a bit dangerous. Terribly fun, but dangerous. The interview with “New Republic” contributor Jonathan Chait brought some interesting insight into the Conservative argument that we are going into a new New Deal.
It was fun to revisit the Better Know a Governor segment with Mark Sanford. Colbert’s insistence on the blandness of Sanford is still quite amusing the second time around. But the highlight of the show for me tonight was the interview with Neil Gaiman. I love interviews where the interviewer comes up with the best zingers of the night. I loved that Gaiman did the callback to Stephen’s children’s book that was mentioned when Gaiman won the Newbery instead of Stephen a few weeks back. How I love it-getter guests!
I know we’ve got some hard-core Gaiman fans among the Zoners here – what did you think of the interview? And what were some of your favorite moments during the show?
- Excuse me? That’s our bailout money. It is supposed to be used responsibly, in ways we never see, to prop up businesses we don’t understand.
- Let’s go get AIG! WHOOOOO!
- I don’t think my insurance allows me to spin a pitchfork.
- Before we go get these bastards, we will need a leader. Who will need this mob? [*Colbert ... Colbert ... Colbert*]
- And anyone who says differently is seeing the glass as 7/8 full.
- What’s wrong with rewriting history? Wouldn’t it be great if we rewrote the history of slavery so that it never existed? Which I don’t think it did because we have a black president now.
- I said one thing, okay? You’re cheating right now.
- What do these make-work projects do except make work for people?
- That will stimulate the economy, of China, I presume.
- That’s an outrage! South Carolina should seccede. Again.
- Better Know a Governor – Mark Sanford
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- Stephen: The Confederate flag doesn’t have pictures of slaves on it. Does it?
- Governor Sanford: Well, that would be like saying the crucifix doesn’t have Jesus on it, but for a lot of folks it certainly….
- Stephen: Mine does.
- Governor Sanford: It does?
- Stephen: Yea, I’m a Catholic. You’re a Protestant. That’s the biggest difference. That and the Pope.
- Governor Sanford: You’re right.
- Stephen: And that Protestants are heretics. But, other than that…
- On a more serious note, Governor, let’s talk barbecue.
- You’re ordering your last meal. You’re a death row inmate in, say, South Carolina and there’s no way Governor Sanford is going to commute your sentence – not ‘Swing ‘em High Sanford’. You’ve ordered your last meal, it’s barbecue. What sauce do you ask for?
- Where do you find the courage to go mustard in the face of people’s love for vinegar or sweet?
- In 2005, ‘Time’ magazine named you one of the 5 most boring Governors in America. Did that sting?
- You are incredibly boring. You are like a manila envelope taped to a beige wall. You are like walking, talking Ambien.
- You say you like to ‘recharge the batteries.’ Governor, I’m not sure you’re drawing that much power. I don’t see a lot of sparks.
- Gaiman: As I remember, those four little rabbits were absolutely terrified of ending up in Mr. McGregor’s excellent rabbit pie.
- What is the moral of this book, other than Dead people are nice?
- Isn’t there a danger here that our children will stop being frightened of graveyards? Because without that, how else are we supposed to get them to eat their vegetables.
- How does a dead person raise a child, they have no milk-producing teats?
- Gaiman: Possibly on the other side of a giant television screen? I have that, too.
- Gaiman: Frankly, I think you’ve given me all the evidence I need there, Stephen.
- Obviously, until you write F@#k it, we’re all going to die, the Newbery medal is going to go to people like me, Stephen.
- I wish I could hug every one of you, mostly because … no reason, I just wish I could hug you. Good night, everybody!
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28 Comments
March 16th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
I enjoyed all parts of the show tonight. It is always fun to watch Stephen wield his power! I wonder if he has enough pitchforks for us all? Neil was great, too. Intelligent, witty banter is the foundation for many of my favorite interviews. What a great way to start the week.
I especially liked the closing tonight when he stumbled on his line about “why” he wanted to hug us all because the crowd went wild. It was very charming to watch his reaction and almost see his mind contemplating, “Do I say the line? Do I wait for the audience to calm down? [they won't--if I was there, I wouldn't :) ] Or, do I just say goodnight?” Very cute.
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March 17th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
The closing was totally my favourite part.
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Another vote for the closing! I wish someone was there and could tell us if he at least hugged everyone in the front row:)
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March 16th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Neil Gaiman was a great interview, and I agree that he definitely got in the best line of the night. And to top it off, it was an it-getter line as well. I was definitely laughing out loud during that segment. Gaiman, you have my vote.
Interesting fact relating to current events: Neil Gaiman is friends with Alan Moore, the writer of Watchmen. According to Wikipedia, “Moore occasionally contacted fellow comics writer Neil Gaiman for answers to research questions and for quotes to include in issues.”
Also, Gaiman wrote Coraline, which I have yet to see and it kills me because I hear its good.
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March 17th, 2009 at 2:01 am
Was that a very dark, almost plaid suit Stephen was wearing?…
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March 17th, 2009 at 6:36 am
This was a great episode!
Colbert! Colbert! Colbert! Colbert! I loved the AIG segment. Where do we go buy our pitchforks? :-) My favorite line was, “Well played…use a word nobody knows at a time no one can afford a dictionary.”
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March 17th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Frankly, I thought it was a little out of character that Stephen would be angry about AIG executives getting bonuses. I thought he’d be all for people getting extravagant bonuses who really, really don’t deserve it, or at least wanting to get a taste himself. However, out of character or not, I do like the pitchfork idea.
Also, I really liked Neil Gaiman’s interview– a real it-getter on so many levels. Plus, the closing was just too adorable. I bet Stephen gives really nice hugs. :)
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:28 am
or at least wanting to get a taste himself.
But he did! His contract for leading the angry mob against AIG meant that he’d get paid 165 million dollars. And if the mob was unsuccessful, he’d still get paid a fee– of 165 million dollars. ;) Just seeing him wield a pitchfork was hilarious, though.
Totally agree about the interview and the close!
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:11 am
I actually thought there was a little too much “Stephen” in that Chait interview. Chait did okay, but it would have been nice to give him a little more rope with which to totally hang the FDR-New Deal revisionists.
That interview with Gaiman, though … LOVE! Stephen’s face when Neil threw the F*!k It, We’re All Going to Die reference out there was absolutely priceless. And I totally loved the Tolkein digression. Tom Bombadil isn’t my favorite character in Lord of the Rings, but I had the same reaction as Stephen did in the “what’s wrong with him?” sense. [Okay, I might have started random quoting of some of his silly songs, too, but it was probably not so in-depth as Stephen managed.] And dark children’s stories are the best; it’s when people actually try to clean them up that you see just how vital that “darkness” is to the story. Of course, I was reading a kid’s story over the weekend that was illustrated by Edward Gorey, so I guess my sense of humor runs in that direction … but hey, f*!k it, we’re all going to die, right? ;)
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I love Edward Gorey! :-)
My vote went for the interview with Gaiman. I love it when “it-getters” are interviewed and Gaiman had the perfect dry wit for Stephen’s character. The closing was cute too.
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Gorey’s illustrations are such a scream. I remember sitting around with a friend one day, just laughing our backsides off at The Gashlycrumb Tinies … what an imagination that guy had!
Forgot to mention, I grinned at the Art Spiegelman shout out, too. I know most people read his Maus and Maus II, but reading In the Shadow of No Towers not long after 9/11 … that was an experience.
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March 17th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Ah! I’m a huuuuge Gorey fan! I have a poster of the Gashlycrumb Tinies hanging in my office. Which strikes some as a touch odd, given that I work with and teach about children for a living :)
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March 18th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
My college roommate and I taped up the Gashlycrumb Tinies poster on our dorm door (gosh, over 25 years ago) as we found it so funny and so wrong. It puzzled many visitors since we seemed so normal otherwise ;). I really enjoyed this interview and I’ll definitely seek out Gaiman’s work!
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
When I was a kid, I always loved watching the animated Gorey sequence right before PBS Mystery.
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Neil Gaiman really impressed me. I’ve never seen a guest be so quick witted – he was better at improvising punchlines than the man himself.
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Stephen always has the pulse of the nation, I’m ready to wield a pitchfork! Loved the Tolkein geekdom and kudos to Gaiman for his line on Stephen’s children book: “F*#K it we’ll all going to die” HA HA HA!!!!
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March 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I can’t STAND Tom Bombadil. He’s so weird and unnecessary. His songs are ANNOYINGER songs, and his feet are… I don’t care about his feet, because HE’S SO WEIRD.
Ahem. Great interview. Neil Gaiman is so cool. And I really want to know why Stephen wanted to hug us.
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March 17th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Yeah. Tom Bombadil is the reason it took me several tries to get through Fellowship when I was a kid. He’s the nadir of a fairly long, boring section at the beginning of the book.
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:44 am
*sniffle* Dark show weeks make me sad…
I had to vote for the pitchfork-wielding mob. Nobody can rouse a mob to action like Stephen, and I have to admit, I saw and read about the AIG bonuses before watching the show last night, and I found myself seriously yelling at the TV and desperately wanting to throw something at it. I guarantee there are a lot of people out there that wouldn’t mind grabbing a pitchfork and heading down to AIG headquarters to kick a$$ and take names.
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March 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I thought Neil Gaiman’s interview was SO GOOD. he was consistently making me laugh, and it didn’t seem forced or planned at all, just very timely and smart! plus, now that poor little slow me has actually read enough LOTR to know who Tom Bombadil is, I could appreciate the recitation. :D
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March 17th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
When Stephen started twirling that pitchfork around over his head, I immediately flashed back to being in the front row and how INSANELY close that is to Stephen’s desk, and I cringed. I actually muttered under my breath, “That slips, you’re going to KILL someone. I can’t believe the insurance guys aren’t–” and then he makes the crack about insurance and I just about died laughing.
Seriously. I would’ve loved to see a shot of the people in the front row just then. But it was still awesome that he did it. :)
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March 17th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
But oh, the stories you could tell about your hideous scars. “Stephen Colbert stabbed me with a pitchfork! No really! You wanna see??”
Might be worth it, you could probably make some cash on the side for viewings.
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March 17th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
ROFLMAO! Sign me up!
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March 17th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Neil Gaiman’s interview was pure gold. He was really relaxed, and incredibly intelligent and witty, which of course was no surprise at all. Made for good interview conversation, and it was clear they were both having fun with it.
Also, I loved the hug closing. Will rewatch tonight with popcorn :)
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March 18th, 2009 at 6:39 am
I love that Gaimans wit and intelligence shined thru so much. Hopefully he’ll get a lot of new fans by doing this.
I wish they hadn’t cut their favorite LOTR-characters though. Which seems to be Gandalf for Gaiman and Faramir for Stephen.
http://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/1343661268
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March 18th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
The fact that Neil Gaiman and Stephen Colbert are my only two obsessions, and the fact that they collided magnificently together was perhaps the greatest moment of my life. I didn’t even know what to do with myself, it was so amazing!
Just as an interesting side note: Neil is a very proficient blogger. He should have details about backstage and such coming up on his website: journal.neilgaiman.com.
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March 18th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
I loved the ending, but was wondering why he wanted to hug us. And now why is that so many Zoners’ favorite part? Is it a reference to something that I just don’t get? Strangers w/ Candy?
Anyway, loved the episode, and Neil Gaiman was wonderful. Also great to know that Stephen’s favorite character in LOTR is Faramir. That’s perfect. I also loved him reciting Tom Bombadil. Haha.
I do want to take a pitchfork down to AIG. Jerks.
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March 18th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
I don’t think Stephen’s desire to hug us was any reference to Strangers with Candy. We just want him to hug us and found it cute when he demured while saying it:)
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