Episode 7058 (5/3/2011) – Rex Ryan

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7058 (May 3, 2011)
GUESTS: Rex Ryan
SEGMENTS: Osama Bin Laden is Still Dead, Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden’s Assassination, Journalistic Grintegrity
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 3, 2011

After Monday’s slam dunk of a show, this one was a little more subdued, but there’s still plenty to talk about where Bin Laden is concerned. Yes, he’s still dead, thank goodness, but accusing him of owning a Zune is a low blow. The shout-out to SEAL Team Six, a.k.a. the “Abottabadasses,” was excellent, even if the guess at their identities might have been a bit off. I’m thinking Kung Fu Panda might be a little too tubby to get through the training, but whatever. The idea of turning Bin Laden’s corpse into a piñata for Cinco de Mayo was so very wrong, but I couldn’t help laughing. The fact that Obama’s poll numbers went up shouldn’t be a surprise, but as Glenn Beck so helpfully pointed out, it would’ve happened to anyone. Could’ve happened to a shoe. Stephen’s “quick, find out if that shoe’s a Republican!!” made me laugh pretty hard. At this point, the shoe is a better candidate than anyone else out there.

Calling Donald Trump a “golden-helmeted noise warrior” was one of the best insults I’ve heard aimed at him so far. Newspeople baffle me sometimes. Why all the inappropriate glee over bad news that could make people’s lives difficult? Oh, wait, it’ll screw with Obama’s poll numbers, so it’s good. (*rolls eyes*) Anyway… I enjoyed watching Stephen lick some of the frosting from that cake.

I honestly wondered how the interview with Rex Ryan would go because Stephen isn’t really a sports guy. I’m not sure that Ryan really had much to say, which I understand is unusual for him. He laughed a bit too much at Stephen’s questions to make this an interesting conversation. I did like the analogy of football as a flapjack, even if I couldn’t quite follow the logic. “I think someone’s going to be eating breakfast soon!” And that “special kiss” during the sign-off? Adorable. Even if he was sending it out to himself.

What were your favorite moments from the show? Let us know in the comments!

Journalistic Grintegrity noisemaker


  1. lockhart43 says:

    The shoe comment cracked me up! Especially since I’m sure it would be a better Republican frontrunner than Tim Pawlenty. That shoe’s probably got personality and weathered experience.

    The Journalistic Grintegrity segment was my favorite part of the show, for sure. That was brilliant. Stephen always makes me laugh when he’s saying something through an ironic chuckle (another example I can think of is a while back when he was talking about James O’Keefe’s criminal record and said through a laugh, “It’s funny, because it’s a federal offense). :)

    I enjoyed the Rex Ryan interview more than I thought that I would. I like football, but have no use for professional football (college football is what I like to watch). But it was nice to be able to clearly see that Ryan was just happy to be there. He seemed like a nice guy, and the fact that Stephen might have been a little out of his element (I’m sure “Stephen” probably played rugby and hockey in college, but like Ann said, Stephen’s not a sports guy) actually put him at the top of his interview game.

  2. colbaby says:

    This may be the first episode where the sign off was my favorite part. I felt like some of the show fell a bit flat, but that could just be because my brain is fried from the three hour long exam I took right before watching. In fact, that’s probably the case.

    On the plus side, that was hopefully the last exam I’ll ever take, so WOOHOO!

    • lockhart43 says:

      WHOOHOO indeed!!
      My last exam is tonight, but it’s not the last one for forever, just the end of the semester. But this was a complete and total semester from hell, so I will be breathing a HUGE sigh of relief tonight around 7:00.

      • colbaby says:

        Good luck! Make the exam your b**ch, have something tasty for dinner, then curl up for an hour of Jon/Stephen goodness. :D

        ReCaptcha: process. turomped…I think even ReCaptcha’s getting in on the Trump mocking.

        • lockhart43 says:

          I took your advice BFF, and I do feel confident in saying that I kicked that exam’s a**. And when I got home, I proceeded to eat a lovely late dinner that consisted of a bowl of soup and later, Pop-Tarts. I then got to enjoy Jon and Stephen without having to think about what homework I had to worry about over the weekend. :D

        • colbaby says:

          Ten points to Gryffindor for “Pop-Tarts.” They are indeed a food of the gods.

        • lockhart43 says:

          Yeah, I didn’t even put them in the toaster, just ate ’em cold. Makes me feel more god-like. And a tip of the hat to you for the Harry Potter reference!

  3. Mr. Arkadin says:

    I agree with Lockhart43 that the “Grintegrity” was my favorite part too. And seeing that goofy idiot Bill Hemmer (A third-stringer years ago on CNN. Now he’s a first-stringer on Fox. What a surprise!) delight in sky-rocketing gas prices & laugh that himbo laugh of his made my blood boil! I was glad to see Stephen and TCR put him in his place.

    The Rex Ryan interview was interesting. I though (having seen Ryan interview many times before) he acted like he was scared to death of Stephen! I think he was worried “Stephen” would mention his interest in feet and just laughed and said as little as possible in self-defense. Stephen had to work overtime trying to make something out of the little Rex was giving him. And under the circumstances did very well. His last question about “Is everyone in your family named after a dog?” was a classic! And with that Stephen got a belly laugh out of Rex & saved the interview! Well done sir! Well done!

  4. *pouty face* I wanted that “special kiss”. Even if just on the cheek. Or even to be that cake frosting of which Stephen took a couple of licks (I’ll mentally add that to the list of things that I want Stephen to apply on me as discussed on the long thread in the Morgan Spurlock episode guide).

    I also laughed really hard at the shoe comment, since it WOULD be a more worthy GOP candidate. Sometimes, as crazy as he is, Glenn Beck does say some funny things…for like a few seconds.

    The Journalistic Grintegrity segment was great. Only “Stephen” can deliver depressing news with a ironic smile on his face Faux News-style. And Veuve Clicquot champagne? That is some fancy and expensive sparkling wine. My family and I drink it on holidays and special occasions. Très bien, Étienne! Je l’approuve beaucoup!

    I’m not a football person, so I had trouble following the interview. I was also a little annoyed how Ryan kept laughing and didn’t answer Stephen’s questions much. But I’m guessing that there’s a reason why he was so giggly; maybe he was just really thrilled to be there and was having a case of excited nerves, or, as Mr. Arkadin said, he was scared that Stephen would ask him questions that would put him in an uncomfortable spot, in which case they were nervous nerves. But he seems like a nice guy so I’ll forgive him for whatever it was that kept him in stitches.

    • Anais, I think you were not alone in hoping that sign-off was “just for you.”

      Lockhart43, re
      “The shoe comment cracked me up! Especially since I’m sure it would be a better Republican frontrunner than Tim Pawlenty. That shoe’s probably got personality and weathered experience.”

      So true. To that, I can only add that being brainless, neither one knows which way to spell s-o-u-l, and only one of them actually has one.

      (Groaner. I know. Sorry.)

  5. Galadriel says:

    Bucket list with wink. Bucket list! *faint*.

    The grintegrity and insult-to-Trump bits were my favorites (other than the bucket list. Did I mention bucket list?).

    It really is appalling how so-called professional newscasters can laugh at misfortune because it benefits them politically, and I’m glad Stephen called them on it.

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