Episode 7048 – Jeff Greenfield

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7048 (April 7, 2011)
GUESTS: Jeff Greenfield
SEGMENTS: My Fair Colbert, The Koran’s Best Day Ever

I cannot believe I waited this long to blog this. Wow, I’m behind on episode guides! I’ve always admired how Stephen pokes fun at Islam while making it amazingly crystal clear that it is a great and true religion, blessing and peace be upon them. That being said, “Mormons … ” was the best line of the whole Koran’s Best Day Ever segment. It amuses me that just mentioning a religion can be the punchline.

I cannot even begin to describe the adorableness of Stephen Colbert in the second and third segments of the “My Fair Colbert” series. The handshake montage just got funnier as Hugh Vickers got more frustrated. The way Stephen’s eyes got all shifty when he said “This one’s fresh out of the package” was one of those subtle moves that make a funny statement a totally wrong and hysterical one. Stephen’s phentermine “Queen” face was absolutely perfect, and the funky head bob just accentuated the ridiculousness of it all. And let’s keep the talk about the tailoring scene tasteful, okay, ladies? Although I have to admit, I’m curious if Shauntel would be as hot as Raven, and if she wears five inch heels because they give you a lengthy ass. I’m rather sad that Stephen never did put on the top hat, but oh, he looked lovely in his English wedding finery.

My husband is a huge fan of alternative fiction novels, so I found Jeff Greenfield’s interview to be quite interesting. I laughed really hard when Greenfield made it a point to mention that plausibility is very important with alternative fiction, after Stephen brought up Marilyn Monroe and some late night sing-along sessions.

Instead of doing our usual eye candy, here’s some outtakes that were featured on the ColbertNation.com website. I know you’ve been holding your comments about My Fair Colbert for two weeks now – leave them in the comments!Baby Driver movie

(Also, I’d like to make a quick aside to anyone from Comedy Central who may be reading this. Those annoying Allow/Deny Flash prompts don’t seem to be clickable in my Firefox to make them go away, which means that when I want to watch a video from ColbertNation.com, I have to switch browsers. And still click the box. Not cool. Any way to fix this at all?)

Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c


  1. Mr. Arkadin says:

    Stephen as the queen & Mary Poppins! Enough said! :D

  2. I agree with you DB, I really wanted to see the top hat!

  3. Oh man. I’ve been BURSTING to comment on this episode. I really, really liked it! So please allow me to indulge being one of the first few to unload my thoughts. First of all, being a moderate (hell, even very relaxed) Muslim myself, I was HOPING that “Stephen” would somehow give Islam a “try” during his exploration of other religions during Lent, and he did!! And in a really funny/awesome way too! It would also be a great way for it to be the “best DATE ever” if you replaced the Koran with a girl…and I enjoyed the jabs he threw at that Florida pastor. I swear, it just makes my blood boil over knowing about what he’s doing/what he’s done. It’s sad that Islam is continually getting a bad reputation and people like this guy are not making it any better. What is this world coming to?

    But anyways, onto more happy things. Parts 2 and 3 of My Fair Colbert? Two shining diamonds along with the equally big sparkling one of Part 1 (tying into the “Crown Jewels” wording in the segments’ titles). I loved how wacky Stephen kept getting while practicing greeting/being greeted by the queen and how annoyed Hugo Vickers kept getting. That man is SUCH a perfect foil for Stephen’s silliness. And Part 3 was the finishing touch to a fine on-location trilogy. I have to admit…when Stephen unzipped and pulled down his pants so that he could be measured properly, my actual very first thought that came to my head was “HELLO Stephen’s…knees.” *blushes and clears throat* As much as Stephen looked so spiffy and dapper in his jockey outfit (it would have been perfect if he had worn a monocle), his wedding suit and top hat…I feel faint just thinking about it (why didn’t you keep the hat on, Stephen?!). And then taking off into the sky Mary Poppins-style make me squee out so loud; he looked SO cute! And then I cracked up when the Queen Blow-Up Doll came out again.

    I found Jeff Greenfield really interesting. I love reading alternate histories and stories of things we know so well that could have been done so differently, like Gregory Maguire’s revisionist novels that re-tell well-known children’s stories (the most well-known and popular of his books is “Wicked” which talks about the “back story” of the Wicked Witch of the West which inspired the Wicked musical which is still playing on Broadway. LOVE the book and musical). I’m not much of a history buff, though, so I would probably have trouble following Jeff’s book if I got it, but it sounds interesting from my angle so who knows.

    WHEW. Quite a bit of writing! Sorry if it’s lengthy! Don’t feel obligated to read all of it if you don’t have time!

    ReCaptcha: tolks list —>Do you think that the ReCaptcha’s trying to entice me to read the LOTR series (I tried reading it, but I just could not understand what was going on for the life of me. Another way for me to be less connected to Stephen)?

    • By the way, random fun fact: I re-watched Part 2 of My Fair Colbert, and when “Stephen” shows the commercial about the Princess Diana engagement ring knock-off, I recognized the song that’s playing in the background. It’s “I Vow To Thee, My Country”, a patriotic song about the United Kingdom that was also Princess Diana’s favourite song and subsequently was played by request at her wedding and then at her funeral and 10-year memorial service.

      I also forgot to mention that I was especially happy and surprised when I saw the chosen setting was Tea & Sympathy. I’ve only been there once about 4 years ago, when my BFF and I visited it for Sunday breakfast on our very first “date in the city” together in the early stages of our BFF-ship. I haven’t been back there since, but I will again someday. Having a Malaysian mother (Malaysia, if you didn’t know, used to be a British colony) and relatives who have lived or live in England, I’ve developed an appreciation for taking British tea with some of my friends once in a while. It’s such an intimate experience, especially with people you love.

  4. I shall be scanning the skies this Friday in anticipation of Stephen’s arrival. Unfortunately, it is expected to rain that day. I hope there’s no lightning. D:

  5. Wait, wait, Stephen tried Islam???? Well, my Islamic overlords have been at it again. I was unaware of that, although I did think “I don’t remember that bit!” during the first episode of this week, when he flashed back to putting a taqiyah on. Bah! Peace be upon them until they mess with my Report.

    The whole Crown Jewels thing was….was….just sublime high camp. Hugo Vickers’ mix of amusement, contempt and fond exasperation throughout the whole thing made me laugh almost as much as Stephen did. When Stephen was the Queen and he said “You’re a funny little man, aren’t you?” with that face. I damn near fell off the sofa!

    I would have seconded the appearance of a monocle to add a ridiculous finishing touch to Stephen’s equestrian outfit [which still keeps coming into my mind when out riding], but Crown Jewels? Tailors? ……[reads memo again: “Keep it tasteful” – DB]……well, let’s just say that if Stephen ever needs any help polishing his orbs and sceptre, I’m happy to help.

  6. “My Fair Colbert” is definately one of, if not my favourite segment of the year. I still crack up just thinking about it. It’s a shame though, that Stephen didn’t put the top hat on, that would have been the icing on the cake!!

  7. lockhart43 says:

    I will admit that I laughed the hardest during Part 1 of My Fair Colbert, but all three of the segments absolutely cracked me up and were a joy to watch. I always love the field pieces where he does one-on-one interactions with people; they really showcase what a brilliant improver he is.

    And DB, I think Shauntel would be just as hot as Raven, provided she does not wear moccasins during her routine.

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