Episode 7033 (3/7/2011) – Joshua Foer

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7033 (March 7, 2011)
GUESTS: Joshua Foer
SEGMENTS: Stephen wants an iPad 2, On Notice – Mike Huckabee, America’s Next GOP Model
VIDEOS: Monday, March 7, 2011

Hi kids, I’m pinch hitting for DB on this episode guide while she gets caught up on other blog-related things, and what a strong show to start the week! “Stephen” and his desperate neediness for all gadgety things from Apple makes me snicker every time. It was no surprise to me that he’d start whining for an iPad 2 as soon as they were announced, and I’ll bet he has one the day they come out.

I don’t always agree with Mike Huckabee’s politics, but I do like the guy because he seems sincere and even pretty honest, for a politician, and he always has such interesting conversations with Stephen. But to misspeak so badly about President Obama’s background isn’t just a bad move, it even seems uncharacteristic of Huckabee to do it. I don’t watch his Fox show, so I don’t know if this is something he’s done on there. And calling out Natalie Portman was just a bad idea. Don’t pick on pregnant ladies, ever. Putting Huckabee “On Notice” for not misspeaking while he was on the Report is genius, and so typical of “Stephen.”

I loved the way Stephen took Newt Gingrich’s not-quite-declaration of candidacy for president and made it even less decisive than it already was. It drives me crazy to watch these potential candidates jump through hoops to avoid committing themselves too soon. Come on, already. We promise to be surprised when you announce that you’re running!

The interview with Joshua Foer was fascinating. Who knew there was even such a thing as the U.S. Memory Championships? I’m both impressed and baffled that someone could do something like memorize a deck of cards in thirty seconds. I have a great memory for useless pieces of trivia, but trying to channel that into a useful skill eludes me.

What did you all think of the show? And what do you think of the new portrait? Test your memory, and talk about your favorite bits in the comments!

  • Come on, Apple, give me one through the TV. I know you have the technology.
  • That means it can not run flash nine times faster!
  • I’m no fan of single mothers either, but it’s Natalie Portman you’re talking about! That kid she’s pregnant with is Luke Skywalker!
  • Obama didn’t grow up in Kenya. He was born in Kenya, before moving to Islamistan, where he then traveled back in time to plant his birth announcement in a Hawaiian newspaper.
  • I know my worldview was permanently set at age seven. That’s why I believe the greatest threat facing this nation is my mother vacuuming up our Lincoln Logs.
  • What a steaming pile of reasonable!
  • There you are, and you’re not coming off notice until you come on my show and recklessly misspeak. And I want it to be something good. Like Barack Obama is the forgotten Pointer Sister, or Michele Obama is a toothless carney who sells meth behind the zipper.
  • Newt’s exploring in 2011 doesn’t make him a candidate any more than your exploring in freshman year made you gay.
  • After Explore Phase, Newt has to empanel a committee of political guesstimators for a Think-About-It-Tank, they stick their fingers in the wind and report the results to a Consideration Council, who convenes a Pondering Panel, who then makes a presentation to the Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe Task Force, then Newt will meet with his most trusted advisors, who will spend weeks designing and minting a special coin for Newt to flip.
  • Newt’s bold indecisiveness reminds me of the way Reagan used to hedge. Who can forget his famous words at the Brandenberg Gate? “Mr. Gorbachev, convene a study committee to test what other people would think of various options, get a feel for the vibe out there, and then if there’s support in the polling, tear down part of this wall and see how it flies.”


  1. lockhart43 says:

    Stephen’s so cute when he’s begging for things from Apple.

    The Newt Gingrich website really bugs me. “Please donate to this site and I’ll use your money to think about maybe possibly running for President, but maybe not. But still, please give me your money. Your money helps me think about things that may or may not happen. Because getting you to give me your money is more important to me than running for President to actually speak on behalf of you and the things you care about.”

    The Joshua Foer interview was great! I love that there is such a thing as a Memory Championship. And I loved how excited Stephen got when Foer said that he beat the French.
    Thanks for the episode recap, Ann! :)

    • That whole thing reminded me of the episode of Strangers with Candy, “Yes You Can’t” and the career wagon. “Hi I am a potential presidential candidate, maybe. Give me your money”


  2. The return of the On Notice board had me more excited than I care to admit. Especially since it was for such a worthy addition. Huckabee’s a truly awful human being with a shady political past. Don’t buy his charming southern gentleman act for a second. I’m from his neck of the woods, and grew up surrounded by guys EXACTLY like him. It’s a facade. Stephen’s not the only one in character when Huckabee’s on the show.

  3. wow was the background picture on his iPad the boat he built himself? *little-details* :)

    • I think it was! I meant to mention it in the guide, but somehow that thought didn’t stick in my brain. That could be because I was watching last night’s episode while trying to finish up this guide. I was a little distracted by all the shouting. Hee.

      • For those of us who didn’t know he built a boat himself, how can we learn more about this yet-one-more-thing that Stephen can do, and did! (Sorry! I still have so much to learn.)

    • lockhart43 says:

      I saw that too! Very cool that it’s his background picture. I also loved that the time said “11:06.” :P

      @SW: It’s from a Letterman interview back in 2008, where he talks about spending his summer break building a boat with his son. You can find it here. :)

      • Thank you so much!!! That was wonderful. I don’t think I ever saw that Letterman clip and I really enjoyed it. The boat was very impressive, but God what that smile will do to me…
        Thanks again!

        • lockhart43 says:

          You’re very welcome! You can find all of his Letterman interviews on youtube, if there’s any more you haven’t seen. They’re all equally wonderful, and full of plenty more smiles. :)

  4. Karenatasha says:

    I think a long-time friend from South Carolina helped him build the boat. I recall that from a published print interview–but can’t remember which. Rolling Stone?

    • lockhart43 says:

      In that Letterman interview, he does mention that he had the wood cut by a guy who builds boats in South Carolina, and then one of his sons helped build it. Or was there someone else I’m not thinking of?

      • Karenatasha says:

        I think so. The interview I’m thinking of chats with some of his oldest South Carolina friends–who of course have only the most wonderful things to say about him.I thought the article mentioned that one of them helped him.

        I’ll try to look at it.

  5. Not to be stupid, but…when was OK Go put on the On Notice board? I honestly don’t remember that.

  6. This is a great episode. Everything was solid: the jokes delivered well, the Foer intervew was really interesting, and “Stephen” was wonderfully hilarious as usual. I also noticed that his iPad background was the boat that he + his son + a friend (maybe) built! I love being able to pinpoint out these little details as I learn more about Stephen. :) Great start to the week!

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