Episode 7025 (2/21/2011) – Eugene Jarecki

Colbert Report Episode Guide 150pxEPISODE NUMBER: 7025 (February 21, 2011)
GUESTS: Eugene Jarecki
SEGMENTS: Turmoil in the Middle East & Turmoil in the Middle West, Cheating Death – Ablibalify & Bing Bongavax, Rick Santorum Internet Search
VIDEOS: Monday, February 21, 2011

It was so cute to see Stephen channeling his inner Highlandered Gene Shalit as he punnily talked about the revolutions in the Middle East. On occasion, I have these thoughts of how insane the writer’s room must have been during a certain point in the writing process, and today I had one of those moments when I imagined the writers trying to whittle down the two best side effects for Ablibalify. I don’t remember hearing the Circus version of the ‘Colbert Report’ theme before – is that new?

Before I start watching every show to do the guide, I always get the poll and sketches set up. When I saw the name Santorum, I started laughing even before I realized Stephen was going to address why I snicker at the name Santorum. (I’m a long-time Dan Savage fan). Also? If you’re at work, don’t google Cleveland Steamer. Just trust me on that. I love listening to Stephen talk about Ronald Reagan and The Man, The Myth, The Legend, as it were, so I found the interview with Eugene Jarecki to be quite interesting!

What did all of you like about the show? Leave it in the comments!

Stephen Colbert Rick Santorum

  • Personally, I miss the emotional heights of Egypt. It had everything – huge crowds, pyramids, chance of a mummy attack.
  • But since then? Bahrain? Bor-ring! Yemen? More like Yawn-man! And Morocco? I could use a little less Rocco.
  • I just pray that Wisconsin does not fall. After all, Wisconsin has long been an ally of the United States. It is our only bulwark against Minnesota. Without Wisconsin, we would soon be overrun by Garrison Keillor. The horror. The folksy, folksy horror.
  • Thank God they said he was a Frenchman. I was worried we’d lost another Republican senator.
  • As a result, Prescott is proud to announce Ablibalify – the only drug guaranteed to give you an alibi for whatever uncontrollable desires you are most ashamed of.
  • Then when you’re caught, you just place the label on the bottle and tell your crying loved one, it’s not my fault, Ablibalify made me bikini wax hobos. Or uncontrollably dry-hump garden gnomes.
  • Side effects of Ablibalify may include legless leg syndrome, Earl of Shrivingstone’s Agyu, and Cranial Biebering.
  • Very important – these are medical clowns. Graduating from medical clown college is very difficult. You need to pull 20 babies out of a womb.
  • Well, if immediately after was effective, imagine the impressive results during. That’s why Prescott Pharmaceuticals is proud to introduce Bing Bongavax, the world’s first prescription strength clown fertility aid.
  • Bing Bong, who wants to have a baby?!
  • Then, I don’t want to get too technical … I bang his wife.
  • Side effects of Bing Bongavax include overstuffed car syndrome, premature flower squirt, and Barnham and Bunions.
  • A staunch conservative, Santorum has name recognition. Only one problem … he’s got name recognition.
  • If you have any kids, please ask them to leave the room. And if you’re eating nachos, you might want to put them down.
  • I do think that was inappropriate. Dog is man’s best friend, not man’s best friend with benefits.
  • It is the worst dragging of a politician’s name through the frothy mud since the sad case of Senator Cleveland D. Steamer. [NSFW link]
  • This has got to work, because I am a huge fan of Santorum … the senator! The senator!


  1. Dan Savage is a legend. And can we make that bumper sticker real? The thought of Rick Santorum *giggles* so much as getting on the ballot makes we gag. Even more so than ‘santorum.’ *giggles*

    “It’s over! Is everybody ok?!”

  2. Minnesotans need protection from Wisconsin, not the other way around!! I do quite enjoy the import of amazingly delicious cheese they send us, but that’s all! (stupid Packers winning the Super Bowl…….they’ll never let us Vikings fans hear the end of it now).

    I love Dan Savage, I love the clever way he does things, and I love it when Stephen Colbert talks about him or interviews him most of all. That Santorum segment left a huge smile on my face all night, and probably still as I slept. Keep clicking on those Google links everybody!!

    My favorite part of the interview was about the gay sleepover and Stephen’s reaction to it.

  3. Another longtime Dan Savage fan/reader here and I laughed my tush off at the “Santorum” segment last night. Dan had a good blog posting about Santorum complaining about his Google problem last week. I loved seeing it on TCR last night too!

    I also really enjoyed the interview with Jarecki. I’m old enough to remember both of Reagan’s terms quite clearly and have been both amused and baffled at the legend he’s become.

    Cheating Death is always a pleasure.

  4. Karenatasha says:

    Nothing beat the Santorum segment! I thought I’d choke from laughing. I too love Dan Savage, so I was in full support mode, cheering at the TV. But just rereading all those quotes had me doubled up again. Yea!

  5. Mr. Arkadin says:

    “Bikini wax hobos.” Was my favorite line of the night. Pretty much just the word “hobo” always equals win in my book. :P

    Okay. Here’s how sheltered I am: When Stephen started his Santorum riff my first thought was, “Oh, wow! I hated that guy, but, how awful to go through life with a last name that means THAT in Italian!”
    I’m such a dope!

    And as Erika mentioned, Stephen “Go to Hell!” after hearing about the gay sleepover was fantastic!
    A really good show.

  6. Any time any fun is had at Santorum’s expense I’m a happy girl. That whole bit was awesome :D. And I love “Cheating Death”, the “Ablibalify” bit was so hilarious.
    My favorite lines of the night: “I was worried we lost another Republican senator.” and, in relation to Xanax, “It goes both ways.”

  7. I am proud to say that one of my first civil duties when I moved to PA involved voting Santorum out of office. :) I concur with everyone’s statements regarding Dan Savage–just awesome. I am sure he got a kick out of the segment last night.

    Yay for Cheating Death but I can’t believe Stephen made it through without a character break.

    Nice show. Good way to start the week!

    • “…but I can’t believe Stephen made it through without a character break.”

      I ended up counting all those adorable little smirks and smiles as tiny little character breaks. I know it’s not a full-blown break from character, but I’ll take what I can get. :)

  8. Medical clowns making fallopian tube animals??! Why I didn’t have nightmares last night I’ll never know.

  9. Wow, I do learn a lot from Stephen’s show and santorum is definitely the newest. Wow, Dan Savage is grewat but I never knew any of this -serves santorum right, and serious LOLs when Stephen urged us to click the links -hilarious! The interview was very interesting too, especially since Reagan’s son was on the show not so long ago.

    On a side note, I’ve been disappointed that Stephen hasn’t unveiled more re-done portraits, perhaps he just loves that Star Wars homage so much and I don’t blame him at all. I see from a link on ColbertNation that the Fairey/Serrano one has gone up for auction, from the Phillips de Pury & Company website:

    Portrait 5, Stephen(s), 2009 – 2010, a noted work of portraiture attributed to
    Stephen Colbert, enhanced by the artistic contributions of Shepard Fairey
    who spray-painted it, Andres Serrano, who Sharpie’d it, and Franke Stella who
    glanced at it, will be offered as the first lot in the sale. The work debuted on the
    December 8, 2010 episode of “The Colbert Report” as part of an interview with
    Steve Martin to discuss the release of his new book An Object of Beauty. The
    portrait is being sold to benefit school arts projects through DonorsChose.org,
    an online charity designed to connect donors with classrooms in need.

    Still not my favourite enhancement of the portrait but let’s hope it raises lots of money for the charity :)

  10. Stephen sure was giggly last night, and I was more than okay with it. :) Cheating Death was a welcome surprise, as were the many adorkable character breaks. And yay for Eugene Mirman as Bing Bongavax! (Quick side note: if anyone hasn’t had a chance to watch “Bob’s Burgers” yet, you should if only for the voice work of Mirman and Kristen Schaal; they are both HI-larious on that show.) I hadn’t even heard about “santorum” before last night. And well, now I know. Karmically, it makes sense; Santorum’s always been a D-bag. And now I love Dan Savage all the more. :P

    I really enjoyed the interview; I’ll definitely be watching that documentary when I get the chance. Stephen’s “Go to hell!” comment after hearing about the gay sleepover at the White House was sincerely one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard him say on the show. The way he said it absolutely cracked me up!

    • Yah for Eugene Mirman as Bing Bongavax, indeed! I was pretty sure that was his voice coming out of the clown, and I’m glad to see that it was indeed Gene from Bob’s Burgers!!!) That’s probably the most Eugenes that have ever been on a late night talk show.

  11. Yeah, I think the circus TCR theme is new. Cheating Death was awesome. The Santorum stuff would’ve been cool if I hadn’t been enjoying hot chocolate at the moment. The word ‘frothy’ is what temporarily ruined my appetite.

If you're new to our Zoner community, please read the No Fact Zone Comment Policy before commenting. Thank you!