EPISODE NUMBER: 7004 (January 6, 2011)
GUESTS: Ronald DePinho
SEGMENTS: Shout-Out to Arby’s, John Boehner’s Large Gavel, Cheating Death – Placebo Effect, Immortality & Wild Lynx, Bill O’Reilly Proves God’s Existence – Neil deGrasse Tyson
VIDEOS: Thursday, January 6, 2011
So I stay up way too late last night doing the episode guide I should have done yesterday morning but the site was down due to a snafu by our web host. I wake up this morning at 5:15 determined to get my morning post done in a timely manner … to find a half-dozen e-mails in my in box saying the site is down again. Ugh. Sorry about that guys – hopefully the issue’s been fixed. I hope. I miss Draknet. *sigh*
But nothing wipes away the stress and cranky of a downed site like watching Stephen’s joy machine. Before I start talking about the show, can I just say what a gorgeous purple tie Stephen was wearing tonight? Nice! Here’s hoping one of the Zoners was in the audience and knows the backstory behind the “Arby’s” plug last night. Mmm, horsey sauce. And you know the show is going to be bubbling with joy when Stephen pretty much starts off the show with a character break. Nothing cures my ills better than Stephen’s smile. And Excedrin. That helps too. But Stephen’s smile also helps a lot.
Love the new HD Cheating Death opening! Adorkable! Stephen’s miming was quite cute, until it looked like the Vaxachub kicked in. Then it was slightly disturbing. After the epic tape character break, it sounded like he was going to say “It worked in rehearsal”, but changed it to “Now I see why doctors rehearse.” He probably wasn’t wearing makeup in rehearsal, which is why it stuck then. And it also proved my theory that is is physically impossible for Stephen to get through a “Cheating Death” segment without at least one character break. And oh, that lynx was so adorable! How could anyone run away from something that cute?!
WHOO NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON! Looking dapper as ever, I might add! Love me some surprise drop-in guests! With Wormholes! Also? I would to totally go to the Church of Neil. Plus the sciencey goodness continued with the guest, Ronald DePinho and his Hostess Chromosome.
How in the world do I choose a segment for the poll tonight?! The whole show was so good! Let me know what you thought of the show – leave it in the comments!
- Before we start off, I want to give a big shout out to one of our sponsors, Arby’s. If I was about to be killed, I would eat it. It’s that good! As a matter of fact, after I’m done, I’d like to be sliced paper thin and served with horsey sauce.
- Hey, it’s my desk! I used to love this thing!
- That is one big f@#king gavel. I think someone’s compensating for his small government.
- An added benefit is that it treats gullible bowel syndrome.
- That’s why all the best doctors end all their exams with spooning with you.
- VaxaMime – just open Vaxamime, apply the two white gloves, accent with a silk scarf and beret, and before you know it, you’re on your way to better health. Side effects of Vaxamime include white face, sudden box entrapment, and disappointed parents.
- It’s not like I’ve aged since the show began. [screencap of younger Stephen] Oh my God, I’m dying! The show is eating my face!
- Finally, a cure for mouse infertility! The species is saved!
- To preserve youthfulness while obeying God’s plan, Prescott is proud to introduce Vaxaprime, the exclusive new treatment that keeps you looking young and then kills you. Side effects of Vaxaprime include hoof neck, Rorschach pattern baldness, And Hips That Do Lie.
- The good folks at Prescott are ready to help the elderly with the new Vaxa-Lynx. It’s a revolutionary two-step treatment. First, you just open the Vaxa-Lynx, take out some of the rabbit meat, and slip that into grandpa’s back pocket. That will activate the second ingredient, a wild lynx. Within seconds, your patient will walk at speeds they never dreamed possible. And this fast walking is guaranteed to lengthen their life because if they stop, the lynx will kill them. Side effects of Vaxa-Lynx include Backstreet boils, Short Term Memory Loss, and Short Term Memory Loss.
- Mr Silverman, if you’re trying to win Christians over to Athiesm, it’s probably not the best strategy to look like the devil.
- Well Bill nailed him like Martin Luther King nailing Jesus to a church door.
- The moons make the tides change. So the moon is a werewolf. That makes sense.
- Neil deGrasse Tyson: The moon is not God. It’s just astrophysics.
Stephen: And you know this because?
Neil deGrasse Tyson: I’m an astrophysicist.
Stephen: So you control the tides? NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON IS GOD! KNEEL BEFORE NEIL! - That’s the most sensitive part of the chromosome, the tip.
- Oh look, it has a creamy center! So Hostess makes our DNA? That’s one of the ways to prematurely age by the way – eat Hostess.
The whole show today was ridiculously wonderful – I literally sat and stared at your poll for about a minute trying to decide which segment I liked best, only to come to the conclusion that I couldn’t possibly choose between them! Loved, loved the adorable lynx, the miming, the hilarious interview (the most sensitive part of the chromosome…bwahahaha…), Neil deGrasse Tyson, “THE MOON IS GOD”, “KNEEL BEFORE NEIL”, and even that utterly terrifying sign-off! Was just an all-around fabulous show.
And seriously, how hilarious must it be to be a TCR staffer?! “Well, today we need a copy of War & Peace, hundreds of rotten bananas and a giant safe…tomorrow, how about a chromosome cake, a beret, rubber gloves and a live Lynx?”
Difference makers:
+9
I also thought about the staffers and what they had to do!
When the lynx came on, I giggled and said: well, it must have been fun trying to get THAT in a day!
What a gorgeous animal, by the way. Wow. And so calm, which can’t have been easy under lights and in front of an audience.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
I was imagining them putting off naming the medicine until they knew which fast and ferocious animal they would have access to :). Then it all gets worked out, and Vaxalynx it is!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Actually, I suspect they wanted a lynx: Vaslynx/Vaseline.
Vasacheetah (which is actually the fastest animal–the cheetah, this is, not the vasa!) just wouldn’t have sounded as good.
There’s so much filming done in NYC, I’m sure there are companies that handle wild animals here–but still, not usually in a day. A movie would have the animal booked in advance.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
I seem to recall one of the writers saying that “Cheating Death” is usually done at a slightly more leisurely pace since it’s a compilation of a few stories. So they might have had a few days to organise the lynx, but still, pretty amazing accomplishment IMHO.
Edit: Ah, found it! http://splitsider.com/2010/12/behind-the-scenes-of-the-daily-show-and-the-colbert-report-with-writer-eric-drysdale/
Shout Out (Hey!):
+4
Thanks for the article, Arrow! I must have missed it, and it was very informative.
ReCaptcha: deputed accosted. Wow.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Last night was full of so much goofy and silly, it was wonderful! I have no idea about the backstory behind the Arby’s joke, but all I know is that it was hilarious. Yay for a Cheating Death! They haven’t done one in forever, and I’m happy they’re keeping that new intro. The thing that’s really great about Cheating Death is that it almost guarantees a character break from Stephen, and last night’s was truly adorable. Plus, the “Oh my God, I’m dying! The show is eating my face!” line before the tape-character break cracked me up.
Neil deGrasse Tyson! I cheered when he came out. Loved his line about having a wormhole, and Stephen’s transitive property of thinking (Neil is an astrophysicist, the tides changing from the moon is astrophysics, therefore Neil controls the tides) was really funny and kidlike. The interview was great, too. I might just have to buy this episode and keep it forever. :D
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
Oh, man, that sign-off was the stuff of nightmares! *Shudder* I’m so glad I’m watching this in the morning and not at night.
This was my favorite show of the week! A great one to tide me over (pun unintended, but har har) until Monday!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
Tell me about it, that was one of the creepiest things I have EVER seen! *shudder*
http://i.imgur.com/66bKd.jpg < AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+4
Oh the horror of that picture! The horror!
I never thought I’d say that about a picture of Stephen.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
Reminded me of that scene in “Brazil” when the mother is getting her face done.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
I have to admit…in a rare moment of Stephen non-attention, I only really had eyes for the lynx! ;-)
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
May I say how impressed I was (yet again) by Stephen’s skills as a physical comedian? That mime was pretty much professional quality–which is pretty hard if you don’t do it regularly.
An excellent show all around. I especially loved the whole Neil deGrasse Tyson sequence and the dig at Papa Bear O’Reilly not understanding how things work. Very funny.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
I loved the miming too – he looked as though he’s definitely done it before. Or just rehearsed it repeatedly. ;)
ITA about the dig at Papa Bear O’Reilly. “There must be a God, because I don’t know how things work” was quite possibly my favorite line of the night. That and the double side effect of short term memory loss for Vaxalynx (am I wrong, or has he said that once before? If he has, it actually makes it even more hilarious).
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
My mom and I were laughing our heads off at that line, we’ve been quoting it regularly ever since that show :D. The whole segment was funny as hell. Oh, Bill, seriously…what on earth?
“Cheating Death” was awesome, too. The mime bit, the ending in particular, that was inspired. And then him screwing up with the tape, too. Such a cute lynx, though, I know those creatures, given the right provocation, could certainly be just as fierce as any other, but that face looked so precious and adorable and innocent, I wanted to pet the lynx!
And I seriously don’t ever want Stephen’s face to look the way it did at the end of the show for real. Looked like, who is it, “The Cat Lady”, or whatever she’s called? No.
Fantastic episode, so incredibly funny.
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
“KNEEL BEFORE NEIL! KNEEL BEFORE NEIL!”
Always nice to have TCR’s resident astrophysicist drop in.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Boris the Gratuitous Lynx FTW!
I haven’t been able to watch the shows this week until now. I literally just sat here and watched all 4 Daily Shows and all 4 Reports in a row. My face hurts SO bad right now from wearing a big goofy grin for 2 and a half hours straight. God I love those guys.
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
Allow me to explain the Arby’s plug, and then betray Stephen’s trust. Sorry Stephen.
So in the pre-show Q&A, an audience member asked Stephen if he remembered a joke from last month. I personally don’t remember, but apparently it was a segment about unhealthy food or something, and Stephen suggested that instead of execution, people on death row just be given Arby’s? I’m not sure, perhaps someone else can recall.
So the audience member asks if Stephen considered a segment where he actually did that: visited prisoners on death row and actually gave them Arby’s. Your quizzical reaction to that suggestion was mirrored by Stephen and the rest of the audience. After Stephen light-heartedly pushed for an answer, the audience member admitted that he worked for a public relations company that was attempting to rebrand Arby’s in the public eye. Stephen more or less pointed out the flaw in the suggestion the same way he did at the top of the show.
During that answer, Stephen also told us about how Comedy Central, in what Stephen insisted was a rare incident, had actually asked them to cut a joke from the night’s show; in what turned out to be the Cheating Death segment, he was going to make reference to the real side effects of a medication (for the de-aging rats, maybe?), which included runny stool. This would be followed by “runny stool… why do I suddenly crave Arby’s?” Stephen said the general rule is that if a sponsor’s already in the news, it’s fair game, but Comedy Central asks for side jokes about sponsors to be removed (though Stephen kind of turned it into a one-minute one-man play by acting out how CC doesn’t directly ask for its removal, but instead keeps asking “is it reeeeeeallly important to you? Do you neeeeeeeed this joke?”). The show was running long anyway (thus no Table of Contents before the theme song) so they didn’t care about cutting it.
Also, there were two magnificent character breaks that Stephen told us “no one outside this room will ever have to know about, unless you blog.” He had to restart from the last video clip each time. The first was when he broke down laughing before he could get out that we should tell old sick people to “walk it off.” He also screwed up a word shortly after the lynx came out, but I could overhear/read his lips once the segment ended, and he got Paul Dinello to confirm that they’d just splice out the audio underneath a shot of the lynx. I watched the episode, and it’s so seamless, I assume that’s what they did. The second break/restart was during the Bill O’Reilly/tides segment, when he responded to a clip where Silverman sarcastically references Thor while arguing against O’Reilly. That clip/response was cut entirely from the episode (again, seamless – I can’t even remember where exactly it was in the segment). I can’t recall what the joke was; I think Stephen threw out the scripted joke when he did it the second time, and just improvised an immature insult.
After the sign-off, he said goodbye to us while staying in whatever character he had created with the tape on his face. He had answered a question earlier about a New Year’s Resolution to sleep more, so he credited his “new, youthful appearance” on getting more sleep. Also, fun fact: they were gonna shoot the ending from the opposite corner of the desk, but with the lynx in the same spot, so that it would be standing on the desk, behind Stephen’s shoulder. But the lynx wouldn’t turn in the right direction, so it ended up being between Stephen and the camera, and Stephen asked the trainer if he could pet it. And there you go. Also, when the lynx came out originally, they started projecting lights onto the ceiling towards the end of the segment, for the lynx (and some ADD-addled audience members, like me apparently) to watch and avoid getting bored. It was very cute.
Difference makers:
+17
I love you so, so much for posting this. THANK YOU, what a wonderful taping reporT!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Thank you so much! Am I allowed to be this glad that you “betrayed Stephen’s trust?” ;0
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
I love reading taping reports! Thanks, RobM!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
Thanks so much for the awesome taping reporT! I always appreciate someone bringing insight to an audience joke. :) And I hope that he improvised the line about Papa Bear Bill not knowing how things work – he definitely seemed pleased with the joke after he said, as if he’d made it up on the spot.
I understand what you mean about the audio splicing. I just noticed last week when I was watching the clip about Water.org – if you watching Stephen’s lips, he actually said Water.com, so he must have had to do an audio track over it in post. I didn’t notice it until about the 4th time I saw it though.
Thanks again RobM!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Sorry, I seem to have confused you. Allow me to clear it up:
1) When I mentioned audio splicing after the lynx came out, what had happened in-studio was that Stephen stuttered badly on a word, then immediately repeated the word correctly and carried on. In the final version of the episode, they cut to an extra shot of the lynx, and edited Stephen’s audio underneath it so that you never heard the stuttering. (This is all right after he states “they’ll walk at speeds they never previously imagined possible.”)
2) The joke about Papa Bear not understanding how things work was definitely in the script. This is what was cut, as accurately as I can recall: O’Reilly brought up the argument that the tides proved God existed, and the clip ended on Silverman’s bemused face, with Stephen saying “yeah, you can’t explain that, can you Mr. Atheist Pants?” (This was all in the final episode.) Then, Stephen threw it back to Silverman’s response, where the latter sarcastically said to O’Reilly something like “maybe it’s the Norse god Thor, controlling the tides to aid the ships of his allies!” To which Stephen tried to respond, then broke character and laughed. He asked that they go back, so they replayed Silverman’s Thor quip, and Stephen responded “well maybe you’re just a stupid jerk”, or something similar. Something about his delivery made me think Stephen abandoned whatever joke they had written and improvised the “smartypants” line, or maybe that’s what was written and Stephen hesitated in his delivery, worried he might screw up again, and it came off the way I read it. Anyway, Stephen kept going, leading into the montage of Papa Bear referencing the tides (and the sun). If you watch the final episode, the cut is pretty obvious once you know where to look: it cuts from Stephen at his desk calling Silverman “Mr. Atheist Pants” to the video of O’Reilly while Stephen keeps talking, cutting out the 30 seconds of Thor stuff.
Also, after re-watching the episode again, I remembered there may have been another slight in-joke for the audience at the top of the show. Right before the show started, Stephen again stated that the show was long, and that, as I mentioned earlier, the Table of Contents had been cut as a result, and we’d go straight to the theme song. He then proceeded to explain the visuals to the intro in a very detailed way, explaining how its patriotism should excite us (I don’t know if this is done for every audience – the last taping I attended was in 2008, before the current HD intro, and he didn’t do it then). Paraphrasing, and not nearly capturing how funny he was, he explained that “the intro opens, and it’s me against the world, surrounded by nothing and everything all at once, standing for liberty and democracy in the face of overwhelming darkness. Because liberty is threatened, and I am the only one who can save it. Then the words attack me, and through me attack liberty, they attempt to stop me, but I fight on and persevere, courageously grabbing the flag of our mighty country and jumping into the unknown darkness, until I defiantly plant it into the ground, thus saving liberty and vanquishing all its opponents,” or something like that. It was hilarious. Anyway, before the Arby’s line, he says something like “with an ovation like that, I guarantee you, the enemies of liberty are quivering in their boots.” So that’s a bit of context for where that came from.
By the way, other Q&A questions. Again, if these are well-known amongst the fans, sorry:
-what he misses most about Chicago: good hot dogs sold on every corner, and Second City.
-favorite part of the rally: the fans, because it was their rally, not Jon or Stephen’s, and despite what we may have heard (I assume referring to the Fark blog post), they truly did appreciate the fans who supported them.
-the New Year’s Resolution/more sleep one led into a funny anecdote where, because of the show, Stephen sometimes doesn’t get home until 10, after working thirteen hours, and wants to see his kids. So he asks his wife if they’re still up, and more or less ignores her when she says they’re asleep. He just says “nah, they’re still up, I’ll go check.” He goes up to their rooms, basically shakes them awake while asking if they’re asleep, and once they respond he yells down to his wife “see, honey, they’re totally awake!”
Difference makers:
+5
LOL, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, that story about his kids! That is hilarious and so adorable.
And the mention of the fans, too, yay! Gah, I love this guy, he’s too awesome for words.
Thanks for that stuff as well.
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
… Also, the lynx’s name really was Boris.
Okay, I’ll stop now. :)
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
You weren’t confusing me about the audio splicing, no worries. I just mentioned the water.org story as an add-on because they both had to do with fixing the audio in post. But thank you still for explaining it further, I appreciate it! Thanks for the extra bit about the joke about Papa Bear O’Reilly as well.
And the story about him waking up his kids at night just so he could see them and talk to them made me smile, that’s really sweet. :)
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
Haha, aw, he wanted to pet the animal, too, that’s so cute :D.
I like the bit where he demonstrated the way Comedy Central tries to persuade them to not do a joke, too. That’s great.
Thanks for the detailed report, always fun to get these little back stories like this!
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
Loved loved loved Stephen’s mimework.
Papa Bear Bill: Neil deGrasse Tyson has a wormhole -your argument is invalid. In fact in makes *any* argument invalid! Sheer brilliance.
And good lord, I clicked on Arrow’s picture link before I saw the show. ITA with Josh’s Brazil reference but my first thought was how similar he looked to Jocelyn Wildenstein, the plastic surgery addicted ‘cat woman’. Adored the lynx, just beautiful -and Stephen you’re so lovely you don’t need any work at all.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
Wow, I loved this show so much! I think it’s one of the best ones they’ve done in quite some time. The John Boehner thing was pretty funny, as was Cheating Death. Seriously, how the heck could they get a live lynx on the show??? Stephen’s miming was very impressive too. I suppose that comes from improv; I’ve taken a few classes, and there’s a huge emphasis on working with invisible objects.
But as good as these were, my favorite by FAR was Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He’s somebody that I hugely admire, and Stephen taking jabs at Papa Bear is always priceless. I also love the line “There must be a God, because I don’t know how things work.” I was laughing continuously throughout, and by the time Stephen said, “Kneel before Neil,” I’m pretty sure I nearly died of laughter.
Also, I agree with everyone who said the sign-off freaked them out. It takes all kinds of brave to do that. But of course, who would ever doubt Stephen’s courage?
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
By the way…I’m not able to make the “shout out” function work, so all of you: SHOUT OUT/THUMBS UP!
Huh? My ReCaptcha has an upside-down word? What on earth do I do?
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
I’ve been having trouble with the Shout-Out button, too. :(
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
Same here – I click it and it doesn’t change like it used to, although sometimes it seems to update later?
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
The shoutout button seems to be working with the new template. And the Ajax plugin for comments is working as well. Huzzah!
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
If you click it, it doesn’t immediately register, but if you refresh the page, you’ll see that it’s taking your Shout Out. They updated the plugin recently and it seems to have broken the AJAX function that shows that a post has been favorited. I’ve got it on my To Do list to e-mail the plugin author to see what we can do to fix that.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
Thanks, DB!
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
I loved the mime action as well! Stephen is just so amazing at so many kinds of acting…I just loved another chance to see him. That was my favorite part.
RobM, thanks for the taping report! I liked hearing about Stephen’s resolution to get more sleep, as I sort of made one to go to bed earlier! — but am not doing so well yet :) anyway it’s a great resolution and I can relate.
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
You know, I’ve been waiting for that particular ‘Cheating Death’ intro for months now. And Thursday night, I was quite giddy to see it again. :)
Shout Out (Hey!):
0
Thanks for that great taping report, RobM! This was such a funny, funny episode from start to finish, so I loved all the background info. I’ve actually wondered sometimes how often and under what circumstances Comedy Central asks for jokes to be removed, so that gave me an answer.
I can’t pick out one thing or even one segment that was my favorite. I do love me some “Cheating Death,” but this was an especially hilarious segment. The mime work was excellent, and “disappointed parents” as a side effect made me laugh pretty hard.
The interview with Dr. DePinho was really fascinating and also slightly creepy in a science-fictiony kind of way, because you know if that was part of a plot in a book, it would all go wrong when they tried it on people and they’d turn into newts. Or something.
I can’t tell you how much I am amused by the idea of Neil deGrasse Tyson having his own personal wormhole. Also, the American Museum of Natural History could put “NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON IS GOD!! KNEEL BEFORE NEIL!!” on a t-shirt and they’d rake in the bucks. (You’re welcome, AMNH.)
Shout Out (Hey!):
+4
the American Museum of Natural History could put “NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON IS GOD!! KNEEL BEFORE NEIL!!” on a t-shirt and they’d rake in the bucks.
I would absolutely buy that shirt! :P
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
Heh, me too. I’m an atheist, but I think I could be easily converted to Tysonism. :)
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2