Episode 7002 (1/4/2011) – Geoffrey Canada

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 7002 (January 4, 2011)
GUESTS: Ron Paul & David Leonhardt, Geoffrey Canada
SEGMENTS: Native American Overlords, Gold Faithful
VIDEOS: Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Oh, how I chuckle when Stephen gets amazingly politically incorrect about Native Americans. Stephen’s Indian monologue (How!) was cringtastically delicious. I also found the Gold dialogue and interviews with Ron Paul and David Leonhardt to be quite informative. It’s interesting to me the logic that Stephen brought verses the arguments that Ron Paul brought, and the comparison of all of that to Leonhardt’s fact-checking of all of it. I also loved the ending line about whether they would want to worship a cow of paper or gold. It made me think of “Kneel before your God, Babylon!”

When I listen to people like Geoffrey Canada, who are very well informed about what is truly going on in the school systems today, I fear for our future. I know so many people with college degrees who struggle, and it scares me to think that so many people are slipping through the educational system without the basic tools to be able to be successful in their future.

So does anyone want to give a try at what the question might be to tonight’s answer – 12 Dutchmen dangling from a hot air balloon? Leave it in the comments!

Stephen Colbert - Gold Faithful

  • Oh my God! That would be horrible. They might build burial grounds on top of our sacred malls!
  • I’ve got a few choice words for our Indian Overlords: How. Me, Big Chief Hips Like Woman honored to be your humble servant. Waited many moons to join new empire. Me have great hair, please no scalpum. Me one of you. Share your values. Me use every part of animal, in that I eat Slim Jim. Heap big sodium nitrate. Me movum on. Now I know what killed them.
  • Money’s so confusing, it’s just a piece of paper. Who knows how much this $20 bill is worth? Probably nothing once you scrape off the cocaine.
  • [Glenn Beck: “I can take this gold coin and walk into Sacks Fifth Avenue and buy a couple of good suits.”] Yes. Clearly he hasn’t yet, but he can.
  • Georgia state representative Bobby Franklin recently introduced a bill that would require payments to or from the state of Georgia to be made exclusively in gold or silver coin, which may be difficult as most of Georgia’s gold reserves are tied up in Lil Jon’s teeth.
  • Just be careful you don’t confuse your gold sack with your snuff sack or your actual sack, which may not be legal, but sure is tender.
  • Dave, do you want some ice for that burn?
  • I’ll leave the question to both of you – would you rather worship a calf made of paper or a calf made of gold?
  • I’ll bite – why should I care about children?
  • So many of our nation’s fetuses only read at the first trimester level.


  1. I was expecting Stephen to mention that he was 1/16th chicksaw.

  2. whatsername says:

    I loved the “emerald the size of a plover’s egg” as part of the change for Stephen’s gold bar — nerd shoutout! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossal_Cave_Adventure

  3. lockhart43 says:

    The opener about Native Americans overtaking our country (well, their country) was the highlight for me last night, that was so, so funny. Makes me nostalgic for the SWC days when Jerri Blank and Orlando would throw rocks at the Indian at Tweetzie Railroad. :P

    Always nice to see Jay the Intern! I have no complaints when Jay Katsir gets some camera time. And whoever thought of the line, Just be careful you don’t confuse your gold sack with your snuff sack or your actual sack, which may not be legal, but sure is tender, deserves a cookie. As for the interview, Geoffrey Canada’s a great guest to have on the show; he seems to know how to interact with “Stephen”, and I appreciate that.

  4. That uber-nailing of Glenn Beck’s fashion sense was deeply satisfying.

  5. I watched the show online this morning while I was eating breakfast (risky, I know), and when Stephen said “me, Big Chief Hips Like Woman” I nearly spewed a mouthful of coffee all over the computer monitor. Somebody deserves a cookie for that one, too!

  6. canada was ignoring stephen’s questions so much that stephen had to dial down his performance near the end. :)

  7. friedthing says:

    So many great lines in this show! The best one had to be that burn at the end of the gold v. paper interview about which calf they would rather worship. They were both speechless for so long after that that it got awkward!

    Anybody else think Stephen had some sort of dental work done? I think he’s talking a little strangely, and there were two dental references yesterday (oh wait, three!).

    I also liked how pleased Stephen seemed with his “reading at a first trimester level” joke :).

  8. Anyone else catch the miming of a set of Golden Arches when Stephen said “Share your values”? I don’t know what a Slim Jim is, and I’m not sure that I want to find out now! Ewww!

    I loved the throw-away reference that you can use a certificate to prove how much one’s gold is worth, kinda like how paper money works…

    p.s. What’s the only thing higher than 13 stoned Dutchmen?

    • lockhart43 says:

      p.s. What’s the only thing higher than 13 stoned Dutchmen?

      HA! That’s brilliant!

      A Slim Jim is a snack food that can best be described as a beef stick (but I use the term “beef” very loosely). It’s the perfect midday snack between meals of a foot-long cheeseburger and a grilled cheese burger melt.
      And yes, I’ve had one. ;)

  9. I needed to wait till the weekend to comment. Loved the show except Geoffrey Canada’s interview. I’m a public school teacher / union member, & he did NOT make me feel happy, let alone shiny.

    p.s. IS there anything higher than 13 stoned dutchmen?!

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