EPISODE NUMBER: 6160 (December 15, 2010)
GUESTS: Omar Wasow, Laird Hamilton
SEGMENTS: Scanner-Defying Pancakes, World War 3.0 – Omar Wasow, Tiny Triumphs – Lethal Drug Shortage, Laird Hamilton, Sign Off – Winter Fashion Tip
VIDEOS: Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Looks like the folks at The Colbert Report were getting into the Christmas spirit with all the red and green lighting on the set last night, not to mention the candy-cane stripes on the ‘columns’ behind our own Stephen-Claus.
Let me just get this out in the open right now, the TSA pancake report nearly did me in on so many levels. I was laughing so hard, I was crying, and as always, just when I was thinking, “Nah, he won’t actually eat that pants-cake,” he did, much to the squealing delight of the faithful (present company included). He always looks like a mischievous little boy when he elicits that kind of reaction from the audience. If you’re like me, you had to be asking, “How’d the TSA figure out the pancake-thing in the first place?” Well kids, they aren’t talking about pancakes you’d eat, but rather ones made out of an explosive material called PETN. The little Pillsbury guy and Aunt Jemimah can breathe a sigh of relief that they won’t be going through airport security in someone’s trousers anytime in the near future … we hope. And how perfect for ‘Stephen” to take a benign headline, and twist it into something wholly absurd! The thought that some poor sap might actually pad his privates with pancakes, thinking it will save him some embarrassment going through security, is in for a sad awakening. On the up side, to the people who work in airport security, breakfast is served, but it’s BYOS.
I love it when Stephen gets out his old, green, Mac computer because it reminds me of the good ol’ days when it took you a week to log onto the internet, and once online, a day to open an email. Good times! You know Zoners, I had a Mac like that except mine wasn’t green, but instead looked like it had clouds on it. That’s right. I was cool like that. Incidentally, how long do you think it took the watchdogs at Wikipedia to lock down the pages on Tommy Lee Jones and snow-globes? “Stephen” is SUCH a bad boy!
If you haven’t checked out the book, The Wave, by Susan Casey, (the one which Laird Hamilton was on TCR to promote) you really should. When Casey was on the ‘Daily Show’ discussing her book with Jon Stewart, she told an amazing story of Laird actually saving the life of his tow-surfing partner in a very MacGuyver-esque way (to borrow her phraseology). I’m tellin ya, it is an amazing book, kids! Oh, and by the way, how awesome was it that Laird was wearing flip-flops!
What did you guys think? Leave your comments!
- Tonight! America is at cyber-war, and LOL-Catz are saying, “I Kan Haz WMDs.”
- Yeah, like 72 virgins are going to spend eternity with THOSE love handles!
- Oh my God! I just made an irregularly shaped ‘pants-cake’!
- From now on, we can use strategically placed pancakes to cover our sausage and eggs.
- By the time you get to your seat, you’re ready to lean back, unzip, annnnd pull out your flap-jack.
- Oh man, that would be great covered in syrup. But, I should probably save some for the pancake.
- I don’t want to see that on ebay.
- Suddenly, there was no place to see those Wikileaks’ documents…except everywhere.
- Come on Anonymous! First you’re an alcoholic, and now this?! Get it together!
- Nice try, hackers. But if you want to turn MY electronic devices against me, you’ll have to get past the big layer of fat on my fat head your teleprompter is ours Colbert! Dammit, hackers!
- At least they think it was a 16 year old boy. When his mom knocked on his bedroom door and asked why it was locked, he screamed, “I’m hacking the Mastercard site, go away!”
- Oh no! With the Dutch police crippled, who will keep the pot-cafes open and prostitutes on the streets?
- I don’t wanna brag, but I’m the reason Tommy Lee Jones’ Wikipedia page says he’s terrified of snow-globes.
- Wasow: You’re like an OG – An Original Geek!
- See, no one’s gonna guess mine, cuz it’s razzleberry!
- Last question, and this is probably the most important question in this cyber-war. What does the F11 key do? Because I push it and nothing happens. Am I shutting down web-sites in Europe?
- Evidently, the bottle had passed it’s ‘kill-by’ date.
- Arizona agreed to lend California a cup of death.
- And don’t think that act of charity went unappreciated. California’s Dept of Corrections Undersecretary, Scott Kernan, went out of his way to send a thank-you email, writing, and I QUOTE, “…You guys in AZ are life savers…”
- Here’s my first question. Which of you lets it go and gets fat first?
- So there’s a plus side. All the eco-systems are wiped out, but you get a tasty wave!
- To just calm down at night, do you go home, throw yourself in the washing machine, and set it on a quick spin-cycle?