EPISODE NUMBER: 6144 (November 10, 2010)
GUESTS: Martha Stewart
SEGMENTS: Michelle Obama’s Embarrassing Handshake, America’s Job Loss – Beri Fox, Statue of Jesus
VIDEOS: Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Whichever writer came up with the “finger boobs” line deserves a cookie. Also, when Stephen made the amazingly funny and politically incorrect comment about Indonesian communication, I immediately thought of that final dance sequence from the Strangers With Candy movie. Oh, poor Megawatti. I really enjoyed the Beri Fox (marble lady) interview. She made a very good points about tariffs and protecting small businesses in America.
The “too Godzilla” reference in the giant Jesus segment was so random! And I have to give Martha Stewart a big Huzzah for being such an It-Getting guest. She nonchalantly worked alongside Stephen as his recipes got weirder and weirder. Martha didn’t so much as flinch until Stephen started sucking the braunschweiger off of the front of her blouse. Apparently all it takes to break Martha Stewart is to have a faux pundit suckle at her … wait, never mind, the mental image was bizarre enough without revisiting it. I will say this though – that is one of the weirdest endings to an interview that I can remember.
What did you all think of the episode? Leave it in the comments!
- No, don’t worry, the President didn’t do any more dancing.
- What are knuckles, but finger boobs? I should be able to show these on camera, look at those. Bony nipples.
- Really? Facebook and Twitter? I always pictured Indonesians communicating by banging coconuts on a log. But I guess that would be racist of them.
- When you get to the G20 summit in South Korea, greet foreign heads of state with my foolproof International hello. It is friendly but not overly familiar. It combines extending the hand to show it empty, the ancient symbol of not carrying a weapon, but elevated, so as not to invite an embarrassing handshake. So when you, say, greet the chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, you would just go “Hi!”
- The only way to get out of this mess is to keep things exactly as they are.
- If I can encourage the children, this is a fun, only mildly choking hazard game. You can play it on a carpet on a rainy day, you can play it outside. You can put them in slingshots and harm each other with them.
- Nation, America is losing the giant Jesus race!
- Although since Christ of the Ozarks lives in America, we still have a shot at having the fattest Jesus. I assume his last supper was at the Cheesecake Factory.
- We can convert the Statue of Liberty to a statue of Jesus. She already got the robes and a crown of thorns. I say we just give her a beard. God will never know the difference – he’s infinitely old, his eyesight has got to be shot by now.
- Maybe he should spit fire? No, that’s too Godzilla.
- Welcome to Cooking with Icons!
- SKU’s – I don’t know what that means, and I don’t care.
- You get the bird drunk? Do you have your way with the bird?
- When you grow up with 11 children, this is an h’ors d’oeuvres. Wait … a little paprika.
- Are there cheek scrapings of you that are hosting shows right now?
- Does Hallmark make a card for changing networks?
Cooking with Stephen Colbert and Martha Stewart – The Recipes!
Recipe #1
- Put 2/3 cup Mayonnaise into a small bowl
- Top with 1/3 cup French’s Mustard
- Put on saltine cracker with a sprinkle of Paprika
Recipe #2
- Spread on Mayonnaise on a slice of Wonder Bread (not too much if you’re on a diet)
- Sprinkle on pre-sweetened Kool-Aid
Recipe #3
- Cut a slice of braunschweiger
- Squirt ketchup on top and mash with fork
- Spread on saltine cracker
It seems like Stephen really really does the best with women his age and older, and domestic settings also do it for him, I started watching that segment, however, thinking “well it’s MARTHA STEWART there is no way we’re gonna get an ice cream three-way repeat out of this..whut the….OMG!” XD
Difference makers:
+8
I loved those recipes – thanks for posting them, DB. I was (never thought I’d say it!) proud of Martha for going along with the hors d’oeuvres, especially the “Stephen sampling” incident. I’ve been trying to remember stuff I put on saltines as a kid – cheese cut into little rounds with a bottle cap, icing, PB, butter, and probably liverwurst, but nothing as brave as Stephen’s concoctions. I do remember unsweetened envelopes of Kool-Aid… but NOT on a cracker. I love how he slipped in “unsupervised” (ya think?) at one point!
So, Zoners, what unsupervised toppings did you put on a saltine when you were growing up?
Difference makers:
+5
Mom and I used to always eat sardines and Miracle Whip on saltines. Tried it as an adult and just about gagged.
Difference makers:
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I was pretty much a PB or butter on saltine kid when I was a youngin’. And I still eat that. :) But whenever I would make a PB and banana sandwich, I would put chocolate syrup or sugar on it when my mom wasn’t looking, ha.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
God, I hope he doesn’t eat those things anymore. I also hope Martha Stewart has changed her mind about Stephen since that time he was on her show and she said, “No, you’re always like this! You’re always ornery…” That was kind of frustrating. I assume she’s in on the joke now ;).
When I was 2 or 3, I loved butter on stuff, and one day my mom left me unsupervised to go change my little sister. I climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the entire stick of butter that was there, a full cup’s worth, plain. That’s my only disgusting condiment-related story, thankfully.
Marshmallow fluff on Saltines is really good, though :).
Difference makers:
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I’ve seen my husband eat Fritos dipped in marshmallow fluff before. That explains a lot, actually.
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It’s that salty-sweet combination that’s so yummy, like chocolate-covered pretzels. Pork rinds and fluff, a la Stephen, is taking it a little bit far, however.
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Did you know this about him before you married him??
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I said this elsewhere, too, but Martha Stewart gets major props from me for being such a great sport in her interviews. Her last one with Stephen was weirdly cranky, but I remember two instances from old Conan shows (maybe even the same show?) when she absolutely cracked me up; one was when Conan dared her to eat a Whopper (I think) and do a shot of Jack Daniel’s, which she did with no hesitation. The other was when she was attempting to show Conan how to make gingerbread houses, and every time her back was turned to pick up another ingredient, Conan would — bloop! — flick over one of the “walls” of the house. He just looked at her with all the wide-eyed innocence in the world when she would turn back and see the destruction. Anyhow, her interview with Stephen was much more in line with what I remembered from those moments, and it was, consequently, just hysterical to watch.
Such a fun show, again! They’ve had some excellently strong ones lately, even though I haven’t had time to comment much.
And that stuff they were eating looked really, really gross. Hilarious!
Difference makers:
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I was quite pleased at her willingness to play along, too. I never saw the Conan appearances, so my expectations were based entirely on the oddly combative interactions when Stephen came on her show. Go Martha, you’ve got some spontaneity and humor after all!
Difference makers:
+5
Hey DB! That’s Marble Queen! Not Marble lady! You commoner! ;)
That “cooking” segment was truly disgusting. I think I’d rather see the goats pooping again. Yuck!
@Lockhart43: Please. Do not eat the Cool-Aid! Do not eat the Cool-Aid! You are not a slacker! ;p
Oh, and I loved fat Jesus! USA! USA!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
Bahahaha! No worries, I will not be eating a Kool-Aid and Mayo sandwich anytime soon! That one definitely grossed me out. I did just buy some Pringles today though, and there just so happens to be some Reddi-Wip in my fridge. lol :P
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“I did just buy some Pringles today though, and there just so happens to be some Reddi-Wip in my fridge.”
Noooooo! :D
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The “cooking” segment was too funny, yet really disgusting. I loved when they sprinkled the Kool-Aid on and Martha was said how Stephen’s looked so perfect and he said he had many years of experience. Haha. I don’t really recall ever making up such strange combinations of food. I was always a very picky eater though.
Shout Out (Hey!):
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That was such a fun show! I’m so happy that Stephen had Beri Fox on – I really enjoyed that interview, and it was a great way to approach the top of job loss in America. And the entire Giant Jesus segment was bizarre and random, but it was so totally “Stephen,” which made me happy.
Loved the Martha Stewart interview! I’m not too fond of Martha, but she’s definitely an it-getter, so I have to give her props for that. I loved Stephen’s “Economy Budget” cooking, and it’s completely believable that Stephen ate that stuff growing up in a house with 10 siblings. Stephen’s such a charmer, too. He’s certainly got a way with the ladies, that’s for sure. And I agree with Christiane, domestic settings + Stephen = adorable. :)
Difference makers:
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Cooking with Feminists Part Deux!
I particularly enjoy the condiments-heavy focus of Stephen’s cuisine.
I love how randy he gets in the kitchen:)
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And how!
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Oh, those recipes were disgusting! I sincerely hope Stephen never actually ate any of those things as a kid, but he seemed pretty damn comfortable with all those foods…blech! But really hilarious interview. I’m not usually a fan of Martha Stewart, and I still don’t think she really “gets” Stephen, but it was fun!
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GREAT show! Definite kudos to Martha Stewart for playing along so gamely and making the segment so hysterical. What’s really funny to me about Stephen’s comical cooking skits is that I remember reading an interview once in which A TCR producer (I think) happened to mention that Stephen “knows his way around the kitchen” — and I assume he wasn’t just referring to condiments and crackers!
I also loved the opening segment on the handshake, the Marble Queen interview (she handled herself so wonderfully for someone who presumably doesn’t generally get much media attention), and the giant Jesus. As a Brazilophile I must say…GO CHRIST THE REDEEMER ON CORCOVADO! At least it wins for standing in the most beautiful locale with its arms spread out of the “marvelous city,” as it’s called.
Difference makers:
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Actually Amy Sedaris said while promoting her first book that while Stephen knows a lot about food and cooking, he is actually not that good of a cook, and she had to sit him down and tell him so at one point.
His shrimp paste recipe is in her cookbook though, and it is similar in the condiment theme, heavy on the cream cheese:)
Difference makers:
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LOL, thanks for the clarification! From Amy’s description it sounds as if Stephen is the type of cook I am. He can handle making what he likes, but isn’t a chef.
As long as he keeps cooking up those fun (but nauseating!) recipes on the show, I’m happy, though.
Shout Out (Hey!):
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Oh, really? Wow. That’s interesting. But hey, good cook or not, watching him putter about in a kitchen would still be fun :). Even if he does make those bizarre “treats” (Kool-Aid mix and mayo. O-kay, then. That’s a kid invention, definitely). Martha was indeed a good sport with all of this, and they had a great banter back and forth. And the ending-uhhhhhh, yeah. Hm. No further comment beyond that :p.
I actually had my hands over my mouth when he talked about his suggested new “greeting” for world leaders! Good lord, that was so wrong and so funny. Oh, Stephen…*Shakes head* :D.
Very fun show last night. Enjoyed it lots.
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Karenatasha, you’re probably thinking of the Rolling Stone interview with Ben Karlin. But yeah, Amy appears to disagree. The two quotes side by side are pretty funny: http://www.nofactzone.net/2006/10/31/ok-i-just-gotta-say-this/
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I normally find Martha Stewart kind of annoying, but she was a very good sport and that made the segment so enjoyable. I loved Stephen’s condiment-based cooking. He seemed pretty comfortable with it, which makes me think he really did eat some strange things during his “unsupervised” time growing up!
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Heh, what a surprise with Martha! After seeing Stephen’s visit to her show online, on which she seemed like a total non-it-getter to me, I really was afraid the appearance would be the biggest train wreck since Richard Branson. But it turned out hilarious! I think what turns many people off Martha (certainly me) normally is that she’s such a complete control freak – and the reason her appearances with Conan were so funny was that he’d go hilariously nuts reacting to this I think. On the other hand, Stephen did some role reversal with Martha and got her to eat the most bizarre family meals imaginable. And she was great at playing along. Classic episode!
I don’t have any weird personal food combinations from my childhood to share, but we did use to eat Junket Rennet Custard (if look it up, you’ll probably have a real ewww reaction – especially when you find out what rennet is).
Interesting comment by Amy about Stephen’s cooking. Maybe they can craft *and* cook when she comes on the show.
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I’ve never been a Martha fan even when she was on with Conan. I always thought she was a bit stiff no matter how much she played along with Conan, but I am so glad that she just went with Stephen no matter how obsurd his dinner choices are.
As an extreme picky eater I don’t think I would survive in the Colbert household if that’s what Stephen is dishing up. I’m not even sure what Kool Aid is but I’m sure I would find something wrong with it.
I’d have to say the weirdest food concoction I have come up with is grilled pepperoni and peanut butter sandwhiches. It is essential that you use smooth peanut butter, not crunchy and the pepperoni has to be hot not mild.
I also enjoy eating uncooked chocolate souffle batter spread on a piece of sliced devon. The devon basically disolves in your mouth so you can’t really taste it, just the chocolate.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+3
Katt, Kool-Aid is a sugary powder that you mix with water to get a rather (in my opinion) disgusting drink. I don’t think it’s as popular now, but in the 60s and 70s, it was typically served to children who liked its sweetness. I’m not sure it has a single natural ingredient, but the powder form made it a very inexpensive option. And, since you had to put in the water, you could make quite a large amount of drink from a very small container..
Kool Aid’s big claim to fame–one which they’d rather not have–is that it was the drink the Jonestown cultists mixed with poison in order to commit mass suicide.
Shout Out (Hey!):
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Kool-Aid’s basically flavored sugar powder, like Tang. It’s kind of the ancestor of the Crystal Light packets, or really any pre-flavored water you find today. It’s always been super cheap and economical, and you can still go to the store and get 5 packets for a buck. And I know it’s just sugar-water, but I grew up with it, so I always liked it, which would explain why I still drink it, ha. :)
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Well, as someone who has a friend that likes to make sandwiches with cheetos and nutella, that cooking segment seemed really quite normal. :P
It was a lot of fun to watch, still! And I loved that awkward ending.
As a Brazilian myself, I love any and all references to Brazil on the show, so I LOVED the bit about the giant Jesus. :P The new one might be taller, but ours is standing on top of the Corcovado, so it’s still higher! (I’m guessing… I have no idea if this is true, so I’ll just go ahead and say it is)
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Di, you’re Brazilian? Bom dia! I’m a huge, huge fan of your country, so I got a kick out of that reference, too. And yes, I’m also rooting for the the statue in Corcovado.
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So much stuff…where to begin?
OK, who mentioned chocolate-covered pretzels? Friedthing, was it you? I want some now and I haven’t seen any for ages. Delish, they are! I used to eat ‘raw’ custard powder, with just a teaspoon of milk in it – once the rest of the milk was poured in, I lost interest pretty quickly.
Corcovado in Brazil was the scene of a heights freakout for me, all those sheer drops and people pushing, so I shudder whenever it’s shown. So if I was that way inclined, I’d prefer my Jesuses fat rather than tall.
Martha Stewart irritates me a bit in general, but she did make me laugh when she once made a guest appearance on 3rd Rock From The Sun. Here she was ok, but of course she was way outshone by Stephen and his saltines. Obviously kissing the cook is some sort of recurring mantra with him….well, licking on this occasion, but near as dammit. Whatever, I still got to stamp my foot with jealousy!
[And if you want politically incorrect, during Stephen's 'heil' salute, I did wonder what he would look like in the uniform to match...!]
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Try this one on for size, Arkadina, … LOL
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-october-4-2001/far-flung-international-correspondents
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HOLY CRAP, LOL!
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Oh god! *giggles, sends to own Berlin correspondent* Not quite what I had in mind, but good to know that not even Stephen can make the Hitler look sexy!
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