EPISODE NUMBER: 6124 (September 29, 2010)
GUESTS: Steven Rattner
SEGMENTS: March to Keep Fear Alive Insanity Bus, The Word – Original Spin, ThreatDown
VIDEOS: Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Did anyone else catch Stephen starting the show talking about “Warshington D.C.”? Every once in a while, Stephen says things in a Southern inflection but with no Southern accent. The word behind, for example, with the accent on the first syllable (BE-hind), referring to derriere, is one that comes to mind. I think “Brick with Googly Eyes” should be the official ‘Keep Fear Alive’ mascot. Seriously. Like I expect people to be carrying them at the rally.
When I saw the graphic for #2 on the ThreatDown, “Whoever’s F**king our koalas!”, I thought, man, the person in the picture looks seriously familiar. So I punted an e-mail out to the Completists – “Hey, a little help, who was the guy in the koala f**ker picture?” We tossed around a few ideas, and realized, oh, it’s segment producer Matt Lappin! And then we laughed really, really hard at having this long e-mail chain about the identity of the koala f**ker.
Stephen was not kidding when he ended the show with the call to book your rooms for the rally they’re going fast. According to NBC news, the booking for the weekend is up about 25% up from normal. So book your hotel rooms soon, kids! And don’t forget to talk about the episode in the comments!
- But that’s ridiculous – who would buy an album from the Sane Clown Posse?
- You’re bussing people to Jon Stewart’s sanity rally? [in Austrian accent] Well, I’m sorry, dahhling, I’m calling bulls**t.
- She warned us that the rhythm was going to get her, but we didn’t listen.
- It’s just like a normal bus, but you would have to be insane to get on it because instead of a human driver, it is being driven by this brick with googly eyes, which I will place on the gas pedal.
- What’s that? Later.
- Ladies, don’t take it personally, especially since constitutionally, you’re not persons.
- And gays, you don’t have any protection against sexual discrimination, either. Back in the 1860′s,there were no gay people. [Just "Friends Of Lincoln."]
- [Oh No, Thou Hath Not!]
- Sorry, Captain Morgan’s Rhyming Dictionary. It’s a 1000 pages of words that rhyme with Arrrgh. Like Carrr, starrr, and Tennessee senatarrrrgh Lamarrgh Alexandaarrrgh.
- Jimmy, that’s regular Kiss. Show me gay Kiss.
- The only time two dudes should have a record together is when they are joined at the torso, or are the fattest twins on motorcycles.
- Which brings us to Threat #2, Whoever’s F**king our koalas. Knock it off! It’s not funny! This is the most disturbing beastiality news I’ve heard outside of any e-mail by Carl Paladino.
- Why would anyone sleep with a koala? Afterwards, they’re so clingy!
- Quick sidenote – koalas, do the right thing and alert your previous partners. I get the feeling Jack Hanna’s going to get an awkward phone call tonight.
- That’s right – hand sanitizer does not work. What am I going to do? I use this stuff all the time, and not just on my hands. I go head to toe. And once every October I get a Purell colonic. It stings like the dickens, but on the plus side, you get hammered and you can still pass a Breathalyzer.
- Did you call yourself the Chrysler LeBaron?
- How fast can you change a tire?
- I’d like to couch this all in imperial terms, if you don’t mind.
- Wow, that’s worse than the publishing industry!
- Steven Rattner: So why didn’t Ford go bankrupt?
Stephen Colbert: Because the ghost of Henry Ford was fighting from the afterlife?
Steven Rattner: Well, that’s actually partly true.
Stephen Colbert: Someone write that down.
[Editor’s note: On it!]
- Thank you for coming, and thank you for pimping America’s ride.