Episode 6121 (9/23/2010) – Oscar Goodman

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6121 (September 23, 2010)
GUESTS: Oscar Goodman
SEGMENTS: Fallback Position – Migrant Worker (Part 2), Sanchez Bump
VIDEOS: Thursday, September 23, 2010

You know, as a sheltered city girl, I think it’s good to be reminded that everything has a cost, and this time, that cost was more than money. While Stephen made light of packing corn (with a great nod to “Laverne and Shirley“), I just kept thinking, man, it’s those people’s jobs to sit there, in that tiny little spot, for eight hours a day, and put corn in a box. That’s how they pay their rent, and how they feed their family. That’s pretty intense. It was really eye opening just to see the small part of labor-intensive farm work that Stephen shared with his audience.

Ooh, the Sanchez bump? Tens of viewers? Hee! According to Rick Sanchez’s Twitter feed, he’s offered a response (“The challenge is on. ur move sir”), but I can’t seem to find the actual response anywhere online. Come on, tens of viewers, where’s the Sanchez’s Sweethearts fan site?

Here in Dallas, we have an obnoxious, head-in-the-sand, @$$hat of a mayor. Can we please trade Tom Leppert with Oscar Goodman? At least Goodman has a most excellent sense of humor, and apparently a taste for gin that one really has to appreciate. He also has an overdeveloped sense of fun, which we here in Dallas desperately need. So here’s my trade suggestion – you can have Tom Leppert, the Dallas Cowboys and a year’s supply of fried beer, and we can have your mayor, a couple of Sigrfried and Roy’s lions for our pitiful excuse for a zoo, and the cast from “Purple Reign-The Ultimate Prince Tribute Show“, which has got to have at least one person who can throw better than Tony Romo.

What did you think about the Fallback Position tonight? And what else did you think about tonight’s show? Leave it in the comments!

I'm just playing a little Farmville, okay? I'm just going to shift my crops.

  • Now, that news made one of the friendly friends over at Fox and Friends, Gretchen Carlson, so incensed this morning that her hair nearly moved.
  • But Congress is on the hook for my water, as much as I want, plus the electricity powering my microphone for a full five minutes of talk time. God only knows how many hospitals won’t be built because of me.
  • It’s true, I do have a character, but rest assured, I will not be addressing congress as my Chinese persona Ching Chong Ding Dong. I am the first to say he would be completely inappropriate.
  • It would sully the good name of experts that Republican-controlled congresses have actually called to testify in the past, like Christie Brinkley and Elmo, who you’ll notice was classy enough to put on a suit, unlike how he usually walks around swinging in the breeze.
  • Incidentally, the carpet matches the drapes. Actually it’s all carpet.
  • You ever build a fort out of these and fight each other with ears of corn?
  • What’s a small ear? Anything less than seven inches is no good? … That’s kind of judgmental, Sam. I’ve been assured that a good five is fine.
  • Are there any beans in the shade?
  • Can I punch him him? Did he say something back to me?
  • *This* is why I don’t eat salad.
  • Nation, from the first day I went on the air, I’ve made it my duty to tell you what to be afraid of — immigrants, Muslims, robots, gays, bears, and gay bears. Oh, yeah, that’s right, gays, I know all your lingo and, yes, I also know lingo is a term for an Australian lesbian.
  • And I’m sure, I am sure there’s nothing to the rumor that everyone who RSVP’ed to Jon’s rally were taken over by alien pod people. Muslim alien pod people. They came here on their rocket ship minarets and their flying carpets, which were quite tasteful because they’re gay Muslim alien pod people.
  • Wow. Rick Sanchez. The coveted Sanchez bump. That could get me tens of supporters.
  • Oh my God, it’s like I’m a freshman and I’ve just been befriended by a loser upper-classman, now I have to eat lunch with him the whole year.
  • It is, and if it’s not the greatest city, they can import part of the greatest city there and charge you to see it.
  • I don’t want to go into too much detail because it would inflict with one of my hobbies – being alive – but why did you do that?
  • Does Vegas have a tea party? Or would that be called a gin joint?
  • You said graffiti artists should have their thumbs cut off. Would you think about turning that into a show on the strip? Make it part of like Sigfried and Roy and you can toss thumbs to the tigers.
  • I want to give you a quick American history lesson. This is corn, okay. The Indians called it maize because sometimes they would cut it into a corn maze. What happened was the pilgrims got lost in a really big corn maze and Sacajawea helped guide them out of the corn maze. Later she married Paul Bunyan and gave birth to johnny Appleseed, who was the first, anybody? Anchor baby. Yeah. That’s how she got to stay in America. Because she gave birth to Johnny Appleseed, and he wore a pod on his head because he was insane.


  1. Gretchen Carlson. Gretchen bloody Carlson. Need I say more?

    Poor much-maligned Rick Sanchez. So he’s not Oprah, but at least he’s being supportive. Can anyone think of a Rick Sanchez-themed sign for M2KFA? Still, Stephen’s reaction to his D-list ‘celebrity’ endorsement was amusing and Oscar Goodman was great value too.

  2. pkyoubuggin says:

    Can we do something about the Friendly Friends of Fox and Friends? I mean in Catholicism we have excommunication. I wish I could excommunicate these folks off the air waves. They spend the greater majority of the show blatantly objectifying women, whether it be cheerleaders or Victoria’s secret models, etc., and then switch to haughtily parsing the daily headlines.
    Gretchen’s hair is a sort of Mullet-like helmet, you have Steve the sort of weather man, and the Brown haired guy who really doesn’t contribute anything but smirk at the camera.
    I personally don’t watch this show or the channel, but I had enough on Friday morning before the hearing when I caught them tearing up Stephen yet again. My problem is that people’s Moms and Dads are watching this stuff, and more likely Grandmoms and Granddads, and this kind of programming is worse than Crossfire in terms of the national discourse.
    Just sayin’.

  3. “…and the cast from ‘Purple Reign-The Ultimate Prince Tribute Show’, which has got to have at least one person who can throw better than Tony Romo.”

    DB, I don’t even like professional football (college sports fan all the way), but that sentence made me laugh out loud!

    Part 2 of Fallback Position was really something special. Stephen was hilarious while simultaneously bringing to light an issue that deserves a large amount of attention. I also loved the nod to “Laverne and Shirley.” And Stephen looked adorkable in that shirt. Just sayin’. :)

    • Oh, and I totally forgot to mention how much I loved Stephen’s revisionist American history lesson to the migrant workers at the end of the show! “And he wore a pot on his head because…he was insane.” HA! Very Chuck Noblet indeed. :P

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