EPISODE NUMBER: 6118 (September 20, 2010)
GUESTS: Pavement (Interview with Stephen Malkmus)
SEGMENTS: Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger
VIDEOS: Monday, September 20, 2010
I really shouldn’t eat when I’m watching the ‘Colbert Report’. I was taking a bite of a french fry when the line about being beelzaba-curious came on and I almost shot the fry out my nose. As soon as Stephen showed the picture of the Baphomet, I immediately thought of Dillard Rankin. (“Here’s something I’m working on, it’s a bloody inverted pentagram made of bone crosses with a screaming skull inside, and if you look closely, you can see inside the screaming skull’s mouth – a little Baphomet.”) Stephen getting freaky with the 109-year old tease and a champagne flute of Ensure was quite silly, but I found the fireworks on the display behind him to be the touch that really pushed it over the top. What a fantastic cover up for the character break, too – “Sorry, that’s the Ensure talking.”
As far as Stephen’s greatest fear, he can most definitely set it aside – we here at No Fact Zone will never stop our quest to make sure that he gets enough attention.
The interview of the lead singer of Pavement was just … odd. Stephen Malkmus didn’t seem to be sure if he should be defensive or honored to be there. Colbert did seem to be really trying to draw some genuine answers out of him, and I’ll give him kudos for that. I will say this about the interview, though – Colbert singing “Informer” like a corny old guy is love.
What did you think about the episode?
- She is a dynamic conservative Christian who believes masturbation is adultery, and, fellas, she’s single! And will come condemn you for masturbating. The total package.
- Of course, their second date was at the Olive Garden. What evil sorcery made their breadsticks endless?! Mmm … try the Baby Primavera.
- Who in their youth wasn’t a little, you know, beelzaba-curious. I can’t count the number of times I summoned the goat-headed Baphomet to take math tests for me, but eventually I stopped because hey, he may be the Father of Darkness, but like most dads, he can’t help with anything higher than algebra.
- Jimmy, Jimmy, can’t we do any better than that? Hello.
- Perfect, all they were missing down there was something to fight over.
- Fellas, I know bromances are hot, but they only work as comedy, not tragedy. That’s why Judd Apatow’s “Unaccompanied Miners” went straight to DVD.
- Isn’t there one day a year we can all agree not to be Muslims? I’m pretty sure Jews aren’t Jewish on Christmas. I believe they are Chinese.
- The public’s angry and immediate response taught Conner the lesson we all take from 9/11, that the people who attacked us celebrate Ramadan, therefore anyone who celebrates Ramadan must have attacked us, the same way ducks fly south for the winter and so do my grandparents, therefore my grandparents are ducks.
- That’s why I’m giving Isa Blyth a wag of my finger for being a century-long tease. Isa, you know forbidden fruit is the most tempting, especially when that fruit is so ripe. Let me just pour you a sparkling glass of Ensure.
- No surprise, CNN got it wrong. Jon wants to harness the public’s frustration. I want to bombard the public’s frustration with gamma rays until it turns on its master with a lust for blood.
- Do you really want to take that chance, dads?
- My greatest fear right now, one that I’m sure you all share, is that I’m not getting enough attention.
- Stop giving this guy so much attention! And Emmys!
- I heard if you go there, you’ll download a virus. And I mean herpes.
- Yes! Now is your chance to be a part of a major bowel movement!
“Take all the babies you want, Mister, but eat all the babies you take!” was easily my favorite quote from Stephen last night, and I don’t even know why. But it was really, really funny. And I absolutely thought of Dillard Rankin as soon as Stephen mentioned the Baphomet! I’m beginning to think that Wigfield can apply to just about everything. :P
TotH/WotF was spot-on last night. Sensual music? A champagne glass of Ensure? Character break with an excellent cover? Dirty pun about bone density? Gross, hilarious, and made of absolute WIN.
The media is already playing right into Stephen’s hands with their coverage of the rallies – any coverage is going to be an ego boost for him. And while “Stephen” inadvertently made a good point with the segment (Dear media: Give equal attention to the rallies, please and thank you), it’s just giving “Stephen” fuel for his rivalry against both Jon and sanity. Finally, while the interview with Stephen Malkmus was awkward, to say the least, I did enjoy the musical performance. :)
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Yeah, what was up with that Stephen Malkmus guy? You’d think anyone would be thrilled to be on the show…he’s obviously one of the lesser Stephens. In fact, not worthy of his ‘ph’ status. I say we all spell it with a ‘v’ from now on.
But the Ensure bit was hilarious, if slightly creepy….”plenty of bone density”. *giggle*
Difference makers:
+6
“…he’s obviously one of the lesser Stephens. In fact, not worthy of his ‘ph’ status.”
LOL! That was awesome! Well done. :D
Shout Out (Hey!):
+2
Aw, I felt kind of sorry for Stephen Malkmus. I’ve never seen a guest sound sooooo nervous! I forgive the incredibly odd interview because that’s probably exactly how I would end up acting in his place.
I actually DO find myself getting a teensy but annoyed about the coverage of “Jon Stewart’s rally,” just because the idea started within the Colbert fandom and I DO want Stephen to get more attention!! ;) But yes, muhuhahahaha, they’re playing right into Stephen’s hands….
Shout Out (Hey!):
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But yes, muhuhahahaha, they’re playing right into Stephen’s hands….
When I read this, I imagined Stephen at his desk making spiders on a mirror with his hands. Or possibly meticulously petting a white cat. HA :P
And I do agree with you about the interview. I won’t deny how awkward it was, but I remember thinking last night how nervous Malkmus both looked and sounded.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Oh my gosh, you’re psychic! Tuesday has evil, plotting hand gestures AND petting an animal! Haha!
Shout Out (Hey!):
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“I actually DO find myself getting a teensy bit annoyed about the coverage of “Jon Stewart’s rally,” just because the idea started within the Colbert fandom and I DO want Stephen to get more attention!! ;)”
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Although my annoyous about it has moved past “teensy” ;)
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I felt the same way, even if I know I shouldn’t complain. But it WAS Stephen’s fans who pushed for Restoring Truthiness starring Stephen, and now Jon’s getting the credit for riding his coattails.
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
Stephen Malkmus was a rather notorious a-hole in his younger days. He seems to have mellowed quite a bit and it seemed like he just didn’t quite know how to respond to “Stephen”. He hasn’t seemed to age at all though. HOW DO MEN DO THAT?! I had no idea what that “Informer” song was either.
The flirting and the Ensure were absolutely hilarious!
Shout Out (Hey!):
+1
I totally agree with your Stephen Malkmus assessment! He’s never been a really gregarious interviewee….but the band still sounds awesome, and he barely looks any older than when I saw him play at the Underground Railroad in Morgantown, WV back when Slanted and Enchanted just came out,.
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Are you from WV? Me too! I grew up in Huntington. I went to Marshall but had friends who went to WVU so I spent some time in Morgantown. :-)
Actually, what I should have said up there was that Stephen Malkmus was rather notorious for *behaving* like an a-hole in his younger days. Whoops.
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Yep, I am from Morgantown AND I went to WVU. Loved the Daily Athenaeum mention the other night on TCR!
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That was awesome!
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