Episode 6096 (8/2/2010) – Jimmy Cliff

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6096 (August 2, 2010)
GUESTS: Jimmy Cliff
SEGMENTS: Stephen Colbert’s Sport Report, Alpha Dog of the Week
VIDEOS: Monday, August 2, 2010

I’m so proud of Stephen for making it all the way through the Stephen’s Gay segment without a major character break, because it was pretty obvious that he was just teetering there for a few moments. I suppose the fandom should brace itself for a new wave of fanfic. *shudder* The image of the London Olympics mascots as inbred royals was just so very wrong. But not as wrong as Stephen catching “Olympic Fever” from Bob Costas. And I have no doubt that many of you saw that picture of Bob Costas and thought to yourself “I bumped my lip on a biscuit!”

I kinda want to go up to Alpha Dog of the Week David H. Brooks and kick him in the shins. I also enjoyed the interview with Jimmy Cliff as well as his music. I like it when Stephen actually interviews a guest as Stephen, because it’s always so genuine and fun.

What did all of you think of last night’s episode?

Stephen Colbert on People Magazine Cover - Yep, Apparently I'm A Gay

Also, for your listening pleasure, here’s the web exclusive video of Jimmy Cliff’s “One More”.

  • The gay agenda has struck again. They are fierce.
  • I believe they’re graded on a scale of failing to Bravo.
  • Come on, GLAAD! How many episodes of CSI Miami where homosidal maniacs are driven to kill because they’re hermaphrodites is it going to take to satisfy you?
  • Congratulations Shatner, once again you’ll be working with George Takai.
  • Evidently my show is not singled out for intolerance, which can only mean someone on my staff is gay.
  • But if they’re not, that leaves only me. Nooooo! I can’t be gay. I’m a happily married conservative just like Ted Hagerty and Larry Craig and I do such masculine things like drink beer – Bud Light Lime, the manliest fruit-flavored diet lager on the market. Mmm, mmm, mmm … That tastes nothing like a dude. Not that I know.
  • So I guess I’ll just shave my chest and hit the stair master because I want the look my best on the cover of “People” magazine.
  • Why did I share that drink with Bob Costas? He claimed he got it from the moose.
  • The Olympic park is being built on a vast dumping ground laced with radioactive soil, or as they call it in England, breakfast.
  • The soil at the site is also contaminated with oil, petrol, tar, cyanide, arsenic and lead, which gives the Chinese team an unfair advantage. Because they train in those conditions all year round.
  • They’re mutants. Or the royal family’s been inbreeding again. Next up … oh, we have royal fans in the audience tonight. My apologies, guvnor.
  • Barcelona should be used to horrors. Their streets are already running red with sangria vomited by thousands of American backpackers.
  • I’ll say it again, folks, Barcelona is just the San Francisco of Spain with a bunch of liberal elites talking down to the rest of Spain with their smug Spanish lisp.
  • Which makes it a patriotic duty to salute his crotch.
  • Although I seriously doubt his son will see anything more pornographic than his father f@#king over our troops to buy a facelift for his mother.
  • And it’s perfect for a bat mitzvah, because nothing turns a girl into a woman faster than leaving her alone with Steven Tyler. That’s a good-looking lady.
  • That means he must have been doing something to his horses that is so unspeakable that the only reason they haven’t gone to the authorities is that their memories have been chemically erased.
  • I think it’s the perfect music for like a corporate retreat. You know, put on Bob Marley’s “Uprising” and motivate your team to uprise against the competition.
  • You were giving me the benefit of the doubt that I possibly had a Jamaican accent.


  1. yay im smart and attractive!!
    i loved the diff accents stephen was doing- the “gov’ner” and the jamaican accent- which btw i loved the dark-dock mistake so adorable lol
    and does anyone know what stephen meant when he was said “hi honey, hi honey”

  2. George Takei and NPH call-outs = fabulous!
    “That tastes nothing like a dude.Not that I know.”

    That David H. Brooks is one giant poo of a man. *sets up rotten fruit and pitchfork stand*
    The bit about doing unspeakable things to his horses made me think of His “wife”? A horse.(aaaaand if you don’t know to what that refers, it’s probably just as well :S)

    Jimmy Cliff was utterly wonderful, and a bonus song, too? Bliss!

  3. I didn’t think anything was going to top the Glaad award segment which had me so in stitches… and then the rest of the show just kept the funny going full tilt. Do you think the writers had fun writing the alpha-dog segment? That was truly a work of art.

    And how glorious is Jimmy Cliff?

  4. I think the “honey” reference meant perhaps that his wife was there (to see Jimmy Cliff maybe?)

    I loved it too when Stephen went out of character (mostly) in the Jimmy Cliff segment. And that Olympic toxic-waste segment was cringe-inducing!

    • i was thinking that might be the case… wonder if stephen was trying to impress her ;)
      i do wish the camera would have panned to her but that would be taking the attention off of “stephen” and that would not have been good :D

  5. Olivia Rodricks says:

    I kind of wish they’d been able to end the David Brooks segment by calling him something other than an Alpha Dog.

    • Welcome to the blog, Olivia! Yeah, there are many words that he could have been called rather than an Alpha Dog, but there would have been an awful lot of bleeping, that’s for sure!

  6. lockhart43 says:

    Thanks for the SWC call-back, DB – I just watched that episode last night actually. “It’s not a cold sore!” HA!
    The entire episode was great, but the Alpha Dog of the Week segment just takes the cake. David H. Brooks: The man, the myth, the humanitarian legend? What a D-bag. Stephen’s “Although I seriously doubt his son will see anything more pornographic than his father f@#king over our troops to buy a facelift for his mother.” line was absolutely fantastic.

    I loved the little dance Stephen did when he went out to greet Jimmy Cliff after the song! That was so excitedly adorable. :)

  7. LOVED the Alpha Dog segment!

  8. Karenatasha says:

    Like everyone, I LOVED the Alpha Dog segment–and wish it could have ended with Brooks being called another, nastier, even bleeped-out name. (Otherwise, too unfair to dogs. What did they ever do to be compared to that piece of trash?)

    I also really enjoyed Jimmy Cliff, whose work I’ve admired for a long time. (And anyone who hasn’t seen the film “The Harder They Come,” should. Immediately.)

    And finally…gay Stephen was a riot!

    I add my voice to those who think that Evie Colbert was in the room. Sure, I’d have loved to see her, but it was right not to break the character or interrupt the show for that. So for now, the only life partner we’ll get to see on the Report is…Sweetness!

    • i totally agree. but i am hoping for some backstage shots. A- bc jimmy cliff was there and B- so that we can see if evie was rlly there.

  9. The gay segment was just full of joy so it had to get my vote, but Alpha Dog was pretty close.

    This David H. Brooks guy -really? This guy exists? Jaw dropping stuff and what an absolute [insert any word you like here].

  10. MaryLovesColbert says:

    I don’t know where on earth they find these sleaze bags for the Alpha Dog segments! This guy was just unbelievable…layers upon layers of disgusting behavior. But it made for a great segment, and that’s where my vote went today.

  11. Jimmy Cliff is awesome, what a great performance, and a really fun interview!
    Every segment tonight was a winner, but my vote had to go to the Alpha Dog. I find I enjoy when my indignation aligns with both Stephen and “Stephen”‘s. I also agree Brooks deserves a swift kick, but I admit I was not thinking shins.

  12. Hello, smart and attractive Zoners!

    Alpha Dog of the Week was awesome.

    Beautiful songs by Jimmy Cliff.

  13. Gay Stephen was worth the anticipation [and my vote for today]! Or should that be “Gay” “Stephen”?

    And applause for the Catalans for their bull-fighting ban. Especially as it provided the additional bonus of seeing Stephen AND Javier Bardem in the same shot – now, THERE’S a night in!

    But I think if my husband suddenly did a “hi, honey” shoutout while talking about some scumbag who’d bought his own wife a facelift, I might be offended!

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