Episode 6088 (7/5/2010) – Michio Kaku

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6088 (July 5, 2010)
GUESTS: Cindy Cohn, Paul Krugman, Michio Kaku
SEGMENTS: Stephen is sick, Electronic Frontier Foundation – Cindy Cohn, Unemployment Benefits – Paul Krugman, Michio Kaku, Sign Off – The Hot Zone
VIDEOS: Monday, July 5, 2010

Man, nothing is worse than having to go to work sick. But having to go to work in front of 1.2 million people sick? That’s gotta suck. Poor Stephen – flurpy indeed! He looked like holy hell, just so pitiful, and every mothering instinct I had wanted to make him some warm tea and bring him another blanket to cover up with so he would feel better.

On a random side note: Do any of you have the plastic Starbucks glass with the green straw that Stephen was drinking out of from the show? I have one I use at work and it’s wonderful. If you see one at a Starbucks, you simply must get one.

During the segment about the unemployment benefits not being extended, Stephen’s fake nausea bit he does took a whole new meaning considering how ill he was. A huge part of my brain screamed, Sweet baby Jesus, don’t let him vomit on the air. I mean, I know it started fake, but have you ever started fake coughing and then you started real coughing and then you got so choked up you actually threw up in your mouth a little? Yeah, I was seriously hoping that that didn’t happen on the show.

Here’s sending positive, happy vibes to Stephen that he gets well as soon as possible. What did you think of this episode?

Stephen Colbert is sick

  • I’ve got my little bunny slippersen I’ve got my nana’s blanket. I got to say, she put up quite a fight when I took it. You are strong, nana. Those aquarobics are working.
  • Tell me about the e.f.f., the fightin’ f-ers.
  • Cindy Cohn: You asked me for a threat.
    Stephen: I did, but I thought maybe I’m going to give you a noogie.
  • What I’m hearing is Hitler is funny. What’s the funniest thing about Hitler to you?
  • I want to have a meme. Can I have a meme? Beer cat. You take a cat. And then you attach, in some humane fashion, you attach a bottle of beer to its belly. Perhaps you make a little cat vest that has a beer pouch in the front so the beer hangs right here and the beer bottle is right there right below the cat’s throat. Then you open the beer, and then you drink the beer while the cat claws your face.
  • We can become Greece or greasier.
  • When you are starving, that is the best time to go on a diet. You’re already used to no food.
  • Now listen, I want to apologize right off the top for not being as angry at you as I would like to, but I just don’t have the strength.
  • I know it’s hurting, but try to make your argument without appealing to our humanity.
  • I’m here to tell you, as a sick person, nothing trickles up.
  • Is that part of the Hitler meme?
  • And you’re not a crazy person?
  • Isn’t it impossible to have a time machine? Because if I go back and kill my grandmother then I’m never born.
  • Stephen: Then I would just like the say on behalf of my future travelers, come out, come out wherever you are.


  1. Oh poor thing! I hope he gets better soon.

  2. Gratefull says:

    Amazing, truly amazing … how he and the writers pull out something extraordinary, time after time after time … and BTW, are they putting those robes for sale in the TCR store??? *grabby hand*

  3. FLURPY indeed. I guess that’s the sound one makes when the mucus backs up…
    Poor, poor Stephen! Even if some of it is ~man-flu~, I wanted to fuss about him with hot tea and chicken soup.
    Good set of interviews as well, I loved the improvised internet during the EFF segment – Viewmaster in a cardboard box ftw!
    I’ll have to dig out one of Michio Kaku’s books for another read, too.

    Hope Stephen gets plenty of rest, who could begrudge him a day or two off? Steve Carell can always hijack the show. ;)

  4. lockhart43 says:

    Poor Stephen! While I wouldn’t trade his health for a good episode, the fact that he was sick allowed them to change the flow of the show a bit, which made it a wonderful episode to watch. At any rate, I hope he feels better!

    All of the interviews were fantastic last night. I love that he just came out and said the “seven dirty words” right on the spot during the Cindy Cohn interview, and Paul Krugman is always a good guest. I think my favorite one of the night though was Michio Kaku – I really loved the conversation. And, Heaven help me, but throughout the entire episode, I just could not stop staring at Stephen’s hair. It looked unbelievable. And the bunny slippers were adorable! :)

    • Mr. Arkadin says:

      “And, Heaven help me, but throughout the entire episode, I just could not stop staring at Stephen’s hair. It looked unbelievable.”

      Ha! After the show I went to wash up for bed. I looked in the mirror and realized his hair looked better uncombed, dirty, and sick then mine looked combed, cleaned, and healthy. I now hate the man. ;P

      • lockhart43 says:

        I realized last night that while I was completely paying attention to the interviews and the conversation, I just found myself staring at his hair; it just looked so great all ruffled. I know “Stephen” is supposed to have his hair look all conservative and neat and tidy, but can’t they just ruffle the hair once a week? For me? :P

        And since I wouldn’t trade your health for a good hair day, I’m sure your hair looks fine. :)

  5. Ms Interpreted says:

    Poor Stephen!

    I hope that dear man gets well soon. Much as I wanted to give that bunny-slippered host a hug (and some Thera-Flu!), it’s just miserable being sick, especially when the weather is also so intolerable.

    Although I’d hate to think he won’t be on the road to recovery by Wednesday’s show, if Stephen *is* still sick, I do wonder whether (perhaps) Steve Carell can be persuaded to help with the heavy lifting on hosting duties … ?

    In any case, I hope he recovers ever so quickly.

  6. I feel so bad for Stephen going on the air sick like that! A fever? Hope he is better real soon. I hope he takes a day off if he needs to.

    He has a great work ethic, but maybe they could develop a plan B for times like this–if he really can’t work, maybe play some filmed segments they haven’t shown yet. As it was, though I was very worried about him it was still a very entertaining show. The unemployment segment was hard hitting and I liked especially that Michio Kaku played played right along with everything with a big smile.

  7. Oh, feel better, Stephen!

  8. MaryLovesColbert says:

    Oh, Stephen! That was awful! :( I hope he gets better soon, the man did not look good. He needs a hug and some chicken soup. <3

  9. Oh, Stephen I felt so bad for you last night. I hope you are feeling better soon. Even though you were so sick, you and TCR put on a great show.

  10. friedthing says:

    Oh! Stephen! Honey! You are hardcore, my friend. Please feel better!

  11. Poor Stephen. Sick as a dog + gotta work anyway + 100-degree heat wave = MISERY. Feel better soon, Stephen!

  12. Mr. Arkadin says:

    My favorite part of the show was Stephen’s wan, valiant, & heroic attempt to stand up and hog the applause for Kaku. Made me LOL. So adorably pathetic!
    And so “Stephen.” :D
    Hope you feel better, Stephen!

    • lockhart43 says:

      “My favorite part of the show was Stephen’s wan, valiant, & heroic attempt to stand up and hog the applause for Kaku.”

      I loved that part too! I think he figured, “Hey, I do this every show, I might as well try to soak up the attention,” haha. And then he could hardly stand up straight. Adorably pathetic, indeed. :)

  13. Mary Sue (formerly Kinsa) says:

    I actually missed this one, have to catch it on the home pc tonight. Poor baby, get well soon Mr. C!

  14. jbirdNZ says:

    Aw, poor Stephen, however to write a show around being sick and fronting it, rather than just trying to grin and bear it was inspired. And seriously, that man cannot have a bad hair day.

    It would be very hot under those studio lights but I have to be indulgent and fan-girly here and say I did like the glimpses of his bare leg.

  15. colbaby says:

    There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. But I just wanted to add to the chorus of get well soons. Having worked at daycares, I’ve had my fair share of stomach bugs (and everything else under the sun for that matter.) So I was definitely feeling his pain last night .

    And I’m with DB. How in the world did he fake dry heave so soon after actually throwing up without making himself sick? Is there anything that man can’t do?

  16. DrMeowMix says:

    I’m definitely going to be using “Flurpy” to describe how I feel the next time I have the flu.

    Michio Kaku was a great guest, but I was surprised he went the invisible time traveler route rather than getting into the idea that time travel (*when*, not if! keep hope alive!) will only be possible in one direction: forward. Stephen opened the door to paradoxes with the my-own-grandpa thing, and I was hoping, hoping. Not that invisibility cloaks aren’t cool, too!

    • lockhart43 says:

      Everytime I hear the word “flurpy” I just think of this interview of Stephen on Letterman in 2006: http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/47137/detail/


      • I thought of that interview on Memorial Day, as I was stripping down my carsick son by the side of the road, trying (ineffectively, I might add) to hose down my car – my entire car – with a couple of rags and a bottle of water. Flurpy, indeed.

        “Before you get married, you think that being married is making love on a mountaintop in a thunderstorm. It’s passion! But then you find out it’s your son throwing up on you for 15 hours.”

      • Thanks for the link, lockhart43. What a great interview.

  17. Oh poor Stephen. I kept hoping it was a bit, and that he would get up and be all better. At first I thought he looked adorable in his slippers and robe, but then when I realized he really was sick, I felt kinda bad. He still looked adorable in his robe and slippers. Why are they doing shows? Don’t they usually take this week off?
    Odd, that usually I hate it when they take a week off, but this week I was actually expecting it and instead of feeling pleasantly surprised, I felt more like, hey they should be relaxing, and especially since Stephen is sick.
    I’m actually sick too. I got a little cold over the weekend but it was nothing compared to what Stephen got. Feel better!

  18. I know, I felt so bad for him! It seemed like he was barely in character sometimes. And he even took the glasses off for a bit. I couldn’t tell if he was wearing any makeup. As adorable as he is out of character, it was awful that he came out of it because he was sick. :( It was a well-done episode, all things considering.

  19. Karenatasha says:

    A truly valiant effort on his part, and an insired way to keep up his work ethic while acknowledging his illness. I mean, really…coming to work in a robe and blanket and slippers. Amazing.

    And, yes–the hair looked great in its more natural state.

    Since I’m writing this Wed. morning, I do have the advantage of knowing he seemed lots better on Tuesday, though still under the weather, I think.

    He deserves his Emmy just for this!

  20. Cats 'n Colbert says:

    Can’t believe he did the show while sick. I was expecting a rerun anyway because it was a holiday Monday. So unnecessary; a labor of love. He looked, well, vulnerable and not too shabby. I liked the unglamorized Stephen — ruddy and handsome (vs. the glamorized “Stephen” — suave and handsome).

    Too bad they hadn’t pre-prepared a cheating death segment. But, Stephen, next time just take care of yourself. The nation would understand!

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