Episode 6087 (7/1/2010) – Manny Howard

EPISODE NUMBER: 6087 (July 1, 2010)
GUESTS: Manny Howard
SEGMENTS: Al Qaeda Starts Inspire Magazine, ThreatDown – Dawn, Actual Food & Texas GOP, Tangelo-American John Boehner
VIDEOS: Thursday, July 1, 2010

What a fun little show to end out the week! I have to wonder, what is the marketing plan for getting an English-based Al Qaeda magazine distributed in the US? Also? Khalid Sheikh Mohammed really needed that manscaping – bravo! I love it when Stephen broadcasts some crazy news, like Dawn causing the oil spill, and a legitimate news crew comes along afterwords and gives him fuel for his conspiracy theories. The Mr. Clean/Brawny joke was deliciously twisted.

Stephen’s diatribe about the prejudice against Tangelo-Americans and “orange people” was hysterical! I was kind of torn as to how to react to this interview. On the one hand, it seemed as if Stephen was having to try particularly hard to drag decent conversation out of him. But once they both got going on the tragic bunny story, the interview really caught momentum. Stephen simply could not keep a straight face at the ridiculousness of Manny Howard’s farming tales.

What did all of you think of the episode?

• That’s right, folks. It’s the day we’ve all feared. Al Qaeda has acquired magazine technology.
• Magazines are a great way to recruit disaffected Americans who make impulse decisions at the checkout counters, like buying a snickers or joining a terror cell.
• NPR recently took a break from seeking out the nation’s most inaccessible jazz to cover this story.
• So it’s clear, folks, Dawn caused the oil spill so that animal rescuers would buy Dawn so they have to make more Dawn so they’d have to find more oil, which inevitably leads to another oil spill. It’s the worst cleaning product scandal since Mr. Clean was caught giving the Brawny guy a Spic n’ Span. It was Fantastik.
• It is Campbell’s responsibility to burn, boil and pulp every lost drop of organic matter out of those little O’s until you’re not sure if it’s pasta or tomato soaked paper hole punch reinforcement disks.
• Now, I would say bravo, but i don’t want to get arrested for speaking Spanish.
• The Texas GOP’s anti-sodomy proposal brings me to threat number one, the Texas GOP. Guys, nowhere in the platform do you specify what kind of sodomy. I mean, check your dictionary. It’s a pretty broad term, covering basically anything freakier than a firm handshake face to face between you and your lawful wife before you go to your separate twin beds.
• All I’m saying is that there’s sodomy and then there’s sodomy. It’s really in the eye of the beholder. Which can also be a form of sodomy.
• Republicans prefer to kill ants with magnifying glasses, or as they call it, sunboarding.
• I have not seen legislation so specifically targeting one republican since they passed a tax on Turtle Wax.
• Oh, sure, Joe, Boehner’s lazy just because his skin is darker than yours. You are clearly racist against Tangelo-Americans.
• Orange people just sit around on the front steps all day with candles in their mouths, and if you’re bad, orange people roll you away to the juicing room.
• If you plant fish, you’re in for a world of hurt. And so are the fish, by the way.
• Were they filled with heroin?
• Manny Howard: It was a dustpan, and it was self-defense.
• It could have been a ferel talapia.
• Of course, my viewers with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder are going to want to turn off your TV, then turn it back on again, and then turn it back off, and then turn it back on again. Now, turn the volume all the way up, then all the way down, now up to the middle, a little more, now back down. Now go to the bathroom and wash your hands, but first did you remember to touch my tie three times before we roll the credits? Too late, you’ll never sleep now.