Episode 6081 (6/22/2010) – Gloria Steinem

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6081 (June 22, 2010)
GUESTS: Gloria Steinem
SEGMENTS: Stanley McChrystal Talks To Rolling Stone, Fallback Position – Astronaut Pt. 2, USA Board of Ophthalmological Freedom
VIDEOS: Tuesday, June 22, 2010

There’s just something endearing about watching “Stephen” geek out over the cassette bootlegs from Stanley McChrystal. Man, did that general screw up. But I have to be honest, the part I was looking forward to was Part II of the Fallback Position – Astronaut position. Man, Stephen can still take a prat fall with the best of them! It was so cute watching the trainer smile and say “Let’s try that again!” I love spiders and keep tarantulas as pets, and even I shudder a bit at the thought of space spiders. Stephen just seems like a kid in a candy store. And oooh, we’re getting Part III! Whoo! Bring it on, boys!

There’s something terribly amusing about Stephen playing doctor Ophthalmologist. And poor Intern Jay and the glaucoma test! And poor Professor Buttons! So cute! So dangerous!

There are very few guests who have the quick wit and cool head during interviews as Gloria Steinem. She brought it home with the comment about men being caretakers in the home. I want to be Gloria Steinem when I grow up.

I always get extra jazzed when there’s a Zoner in the audience last night, and I know for a fact there were two, so I can’t wait to hear their taping report, as well as all of your comments about the show!

Stephen Colbert runs on his namesake C.O.L.B.E.R.T. treadmill

  • I’m a big fan of The Rolling Stone. It has been an American cultural institution ever since they started putting me on the cover. Four years of excellence – keep it up, guys.
  • I am not surprised we’re having trouble in Afghanistan if this is what we’re using for camouflage, okay?
  • Maybe Biden should bite him? Someplace tender – let’s win this thing!
  • Now, I’m a long time fan of McChrystal’s methods. We fans like to be called McChrystal Meth Heads.
  • What’s next, a duets album with Rod Stewart? [Stewart & McChrystal – Songs from the Heart of Kabul] Of course, I’ll buy it.
  • Thank God Devo left that jumpsuit behind.
  • You had space spiders? *shudder*
  • You seem like a nice enough guy, but last time I had a man put me in harness, I had a safe word. So let’s go with “pumpkin patch”.
  • Is there this much plywood in space?
  • Really? It’s a strap-on? All right, that’s cool, I’m down with that. I actually have to be harnessed into my treadmill on earth, too. I hate running.
  • You know, it might feel more like I was in space if there wasn’t a guy in a Hawaiian shirt wearing nurse booties behind me.
  • Did they want to name it Karl? Because then it could be the Karl Rover.
  • The board meets annually on Thanksgiving. Last year they unanimously approved a motion to pass the yams.
  • Was that uncomfortable? Then you have glaucoma – you’re going to want to smoke a lot of weed.
  • I was just testing you, Jay, your eyes are not gay.
  • I’m sorry, Jay, that cat told me he was certified.
  • I’m a feminist. I’m effeminish.
  • I don’t feel that way either, but it sure feels that way if you look at the press right now.
  • I think my fallback position is nanny.


  1. “McChrystal Meth Heads” is such a terrible pun, I had to laugh like a drain.

    Astro!Stephen is billions and billions of kinds of awesome. Yay for some Colbert on C.O.L.B.E.R.T. action, the Karl Rover and the Spider from Mars, er Earth, but I think “Pumpkin Patch” takes the space biscuit! If I don’t see that mentioned in fic by tomorrow, I might just have to write it *ahem*. ;)

    Poor Jay, he suffers so much so we may LOL. Bless him, and bless Prof. Buttons.
    Gloria Steinem was a great guest, even without the ice-cream. One may say she is a formidable opponent. I salute her.

    *waves to the Zoners in the audience*

  2. I loved the look he gave the camera at the nanny comment, very endearing.

    Stephen as *Tek Jansen* astronaut is so wonderful! I’m wishing I were him–how cool is it to drive a lunar rover!

    • Michele says:

      I know! I would love to be doing that stuff!

      Gloria Steinem had a good point there. When the men help out with the childrearing and housekeeping duties the women are happier, less stressed, and not too tired for some grown up fun after the kids have gone to bed. I can attest to that!

  3. Gratefull says:

    I was giggling throughout this episode, just too silly. It is amazing that Mr. C gets these poor souls to play with him. What was the quote he said when talking about improv with interviews before he was so well known, “they inhabit their characters so well.” Now they know who he is and surely, it is harder to draw them out but oh, *holding my sides” last night was just too funny/ silly.

    Ms. Steinem is so elegant and beautiful. Wish they would draw the interviews out like they do on TDS and post the extended versions on the internets.

  4. Hey, *I* was one of those Zoners! I had an extra ticket and wasn’t about to let it go to waste, so I mentioned it on twitter and it got snapped up in about 42 seconds by @kmurph, but she is gainfully employed, so has things like “firewalls” and “responsibilities” delaying her report.

    On with the deets:
    If you haven’t been to a taping lately, you’ll notice some changes in the indoor holding room: a “me & my my black/jewish/etc friend” Stephen stuck to the wall, a fireplace, and a Vancouver 2010 poster. Also, while you walk through the same door into the studio as always, because of the set re-design, you end up popping out onto the opposite side of the audience seating than before.

    It holds true that all seats are good, but I think we had some super awesome ones, dead center in front of the desk, four or five rows back.

    From Kristen, on behalf of DB: How did you make the decision to do the Gorillaz interview with everyone out of character?
    Because the band is animated, when they perform live anywhere, they are more of a cover band (for the cartoons), so because the band was real (fake), he decided to be fake (real). Of course, he said when he watched it later he thought “wow, I am *really* nice,” and claimed that was proof that that wasn’t exactly the true him, either.

    From a nice boy from Ottawa wearing a Super Mario 3 t-shirt: What do you really think of Canada?
    It’s awesome. Vancouver was beautiful. Some of [his] best friends are Canadian.

    From a guy in an American flag polo shirt: In regards to (what flag shirt guy took to be) Mamet saying TDS/TCR was the new Broadway, what did he think of that?
    Stephen argued that that wasn’t what Mamet had said at all, that he had said he (Mamet) was doing years ago what Jon, Stephen, et al. are doing today. Flag shirt guy says he must have misunderstood because of his falling asleep during part of the interview. I don’t think I have to tell you how that went over. Flag-shirt tried to recover with a follow up of “but you’re not going to start charging, like, $75 to come here, are you,” which was met with “why, how much were you charged today?”

    There was a “my sister thinks you’re cool,” and someone asked his favorite drink. One guy asked (for a friend) what his favorite Star Wars character is; he said Gredo, then said no, he wasn’t really a Star Wars guy, but his writers are – which explains all the jokes.

    And there was also a kid requested his very own Colbert Bump, targeted at “pretty much everyone who knows him.” Stephen said he’d tweet that the kid was “cooler than Taylor Lautner.”

    He also apologised to the front row, who he high-fived when he first came out, and said they were probably all sick now.

    If you watched the show, you know there wasn’t a table of contents. When Stephen was explaining to the audience what would happen and was describing the opening credit bit he mentioned “SCILF,” and said it was one of his favorites.

    So the show started! The McChrystal tapes thing was hilarious (who wants to remix sound clips from him now?), and the second part of the trip to NASA had even Stephen laughing at himself. (also, love that hot Colbert on C.O.L.B.E.R.T. action!)

    Then they brought another chair out, and a few mysterious things under sheets. It turned out to be the “surgery suite” & a non-board-certified feline eye surgery specialist, Professor Buttons. Oh, adorable Professor Buttons…

    And then there was Gloria Steinem!! I’m glad that despite the way interviews (and ice cream freaky threeways) can go, she got to make some great points about the importance of feminism, and how it effects not just for women, but men as well. There was a part that got cut about what Rush Limbaugh is going to do now that women on the right have co-opted the name (but not the content associated with it) “feminist,” as he is prone to calling them feminazis. Will he say Palin is a feminazi? Has Ms. Steinem ever been a member of the American Feminazi party? (Lulz, where can I sign up?)

    After the interview segment was finished, Stephen mentioned that someone made a comment about there being a Ms. magazine with a ‘Dorian Grey’ on the cover in an attic somewhere.

    There may or may not have been a flubbed line that had to be picked up at the end, but y’all will never know because I’m not a blogger. When it was being re-tapped and we were told that nobody would know except us (unless any of us blogged about it), it was mentioned that he should start Colbert Scouts, and scouts would get merit badges for agreeing with him.

    After the send off line was recorded, Stephen thanked the audience for being so “ready to play,” because it is especially helpful on days when he is sick.

    I’m sure I’ve forgotten things, so hopefully Kristen can fill in any gaps.
    Oh, and if you’re visiting from another country and the warm-up guy asks for people who have come a far way and someone has already spoken for your country, just sit quietly, unless you want him to play matchmaker. Those poor, embarrassed Swedes…

    • Katydidnt says:

      Wow, thanks so much for sharing, DrMeowMix! It’s always so interesting and cool to hear about what went on behind the scenes. And poor sick Stephen!

    • Thanks for your taping report! I’ve loved the astronaut segments but I thought the cat ophthamologist was hysterically funny.

    • MaryLovesColbert says:

      Hey, thanks for the full report DrMeowMix! Those poor Swedes? I know the girl on LiveJournal, haha. :P So sad that Stephen was sick, but it sounds like you had a great time! Thanks for sharing.

    • Mr. Arkadin says:

      Massive reporT, Dr.! Thank you very much! And I too hope kmurph can find the free time to write her reporT.
      Also: I want to be a Colbert Scout. :P

    • lockhart43 says:

      Awesome reporT, thank you so much! I thought Stephen sounded like he had a cold last night, here’s hoping he feels better. :)

      Thanks again for the massive recap, sounds like you had a lot of fun!

    • Karenatasha says:

      Thanks so much for that taping report! It was great to hear all that behind-the-scenes action.

      Have to say that the McChrystal sequence was my favorite, because Stephen just nailed him and all the odious things he’s done in the past. Much as I loved, loved, loved the astronaut segment, the politics of McChrystal are so important that I was grateful to Stephen for doing comically what “real” journalists should be doing seriously.

      • friedthing says:

        Oh my gosh, he really did tweet it! (such a good opportunity to use Stephen’s nice past participle of that verb, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed)

    • Katydidnt says:

      …and what is really awesome is that he did tweet about the kid who asked for a Colbert Bump:


    • marleygirl84 says:

      hahaha I just checked and apparently he (or someone from the show) really did tweet that the kid you mentioned was cooler than Taylor Lautner! That’s so cute!

  5. lockhart43 says:

    I think the Ophthalmologist segment with Jay the Intern (who I love) has to be one of my favorite segments I’ve ever seen the show. Absolutely loved the sheer ridiculousness of it, and it was so funny! Here’s hoping Jay is able to see again sometime soon, haha. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Stephen and the writers are cranking out show ideas…

    Part 2 of the Fallback Position: Astronaut was great! You can tell how much fun Stephen had while he was there. DB’s “kid in a candy store” description is really the perfect way to describe it. Loved the “Karl Rover” comment as well. Naming it that just seems to make sense, if only for the eventual line of, “Oh no! You crashed the Karl Rover into that mock lunar pit, he’s broken!” :P

  6. Thanks for the great Taping report. I’ve been loving all the Astronaut segments and can’t wait to see more. And the Opthamologist bit with the cat was hilarious. I also enjoyed the interview with Gloria Steinem.

  7. lockhart43 says:

    By the by, was anyone else shouting, “Please don’t fall!” when Stephen climbed onto his desk for the Ophthalmologist segment? Because I totally was. I don’t want an ankleSTRONG campaign in his future.

    • MaryLovesColbert says:

      Yes! I was thinking that! I think that every time he races off that step of his desk platform to go over to the interview desk.

    • DrMeowMix and I were talking about an ankleSTRONG campaign last night!

  8. friedthing says:

    Not to be gross, but Jay the intern was a very good sport for letting Stephen blow into his eyes like that when he’s sick. Mmmm, airborne microbes.

    • I was thinking the exact same thing!

    • Me too! Poor Jay!!

    • MaryLovesColbert says:

      I was thinking that as well!!

      • Gratefull says:

        Ewwwww, didn’t know that he was sick when first watching that bit … being one of those people who has had those horrible air puffs puffed at my eyes more times than I care to mention (eye disease runs in my family), I LOL’d at that and at Professor Buttons and the lazar! *shiver* *laugh* …

        What’s next, Stephen is going to give himself a medical degree and give poor ol’ Jay a Cat Scan! … LOL

  9. Ok Zoners, I finally got done with job/errands/etc and updated my blog. First off, big shout out (HEY!) to DrMeowMix for inviting a complete Internet stranger to come along to this taping. I’m so thankful for her generosity! :)

    Now, to the taping…Laurie got the big stuff covered. I will say that I like the holding pen area better now that there’s more interactive things, plus they took away those rows of useless chairs so there’s more room for everyone.

    Then, into the studio. The set redesign also affected the audience seating, so now instead of two large risers for the audience, the whole back wall is for our seating. You now enter the studio by the interviewing area and they got rid of that middle aisle entrance where Stephen used to come out from. The set is splashier, but I feel as though they took away some of the originals’ charm.

    I was lucky enough to get a question in (that makes me 4 for 4) on behalf of DB. I felt as though the rest of the questions were rather simple or not well planned. The Mamet guy really didn’t understand what he was talking about at all and even Stephen called him out when the guy called TCR and TDS as ‘the new Broadway’ to which Stephen retorted, “Bullsh*t!”

    Onto the taping…the SCILF mention was awesome (to which he said “my writers were *very* proud of) as he was explaining there were too many jokes, so they cut out the table of contents. I absolutely loved watching Colbert as he reviewed the NASA segment again and seeing where he laughed (as he was sipping on some tea). Where he laughed the most? The use of the ‘bathroom’, ‘space spiders’, the ‘air hockey technology’, the ‘safe word,’ were ones I remember him laughing at (and he nodded in agreement when his total workout time was about 2.6 minutes, saying “that’s just about right for me”).

    Professor Buttons…oh so cute. And we all clapped when Professor Buttons left with his handler.

    Finally, Gloria Steinem! Freaking A! I liked how Colbert pulled back a bit (maybe because he was sick?) and let her talk more. It was so great to see her speak about what was going on currently with the so-called feminists getting in the primary nominations.

    Anywho, it was a great taping, even though he was sick. He wanted to thank us for all of the enthusiasm and when he left, gave his cough drops to all of the people in the front row.

    And those loud “owwwww owwwwww” female screams that you heard all throughout the taping? Yup, that was us Zoners representing the Nation. :)

    • Two taping reports for the price of one! Thanks, and big kudos to DrMeowMix for the ticket offer. You are HER0S both!
      Love how Stephen is his own biggest fan. :D

    • lockhart43 says:

      Thanks for the great reporT! Love what Stephen said about SCILF – I still laugh every time I see that in the opening credits.

  10. marleygirl84 says:

    What a great episode! The whole thing was funny but I especially loved the Ophthalmologist segment. I nearly died laughing when Stephen puffed Jay’s eyes for the Glaucoma test. I have a cat that won’t play with anything, except a laser pointer. She’d make a great eye doctor.

    Thank you for the taping report Dr. MeowMix! I was wondering if Stephen was sick because his voice would go scratchy at times. Poor dear, you couldn’t tell otherwise because he’s so good on camera.

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