Episode 6069 (6/1/2010) – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6069 (June 1, 2010)
GUESTS: Ayaan Hirsi Ali
SEGMENTS: Vodka Eyeballing, New BPoil reality show, Stephen interviews the astronauts
VIDEOS: Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I went to bed way, way too late last night after all the Radio City Conan hubbub, but I gotta say, I was still totally jazzed about waking up to see our first new ‘Colbert Report’ in two weeks! I love shows when Stephen is all smiley during the intro – when you can tell he’s bursting at the seams with joy. I imagine he was giggling inside from the new “SCILF” intro word. Cheeky!

Some of that bubbling exuberance spilled over into the vodka eyeballing sketch with an adorkable character break over the St Pauli vs Pauley line. Something else unique about this segment was the fact that “Stephen” did something he very rarely does, which is decry the sheer stupidity of something. I’ve seen him angry, and happy, and weepy, but rarely do we see him smug about his intellectual superiority over others. Also, a sidenote: the vodka eyeballing video on ColbertNation.com has my favorite set of tags ever: “Tags: Jimmy, photos, alcohol, cracks up, partying, Taint”

Regular readers will remember that we published the unedited NASA interview last week. The cleaned up version was much easier to watch, and I loved seeing Stephen’s reaction side-by-side with the astronaut’s reactions. What a lovely treat! I love seeing the astronauts laugh, and the WristSTRONG salute was amazing!

What a fantastic show to welcome back Stephen after being gone for two weeks! Oh, how I’ve missed him! Feel free to talk about your favorite part of the show in the comments.

Stephen Colbert interviews the shuttle astronauts

  • That’s right – vodka eyeballing. Now I don’t want to get too technical here, but vodka eyeballing involves pouring vodka into your eyeball. Which is dangerous enough, but when you add the mixer and the swizzle stick, you’re talking serious corneal lacerations.
  • You think you’re going home with the St. Pauli girl, only to wake up with Pauley. And girl, he is no saint.
  • But of course, hindsight is 20/20, unless you poured vodka in your eye.
  • Next you’ll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling, and before you know it, you’ll be Jagerdtainting. That’s Jagertainting – Copyright 2010, Stephen Colbert.
  • First, BP tried the Top Hat, then they tried Top Kill. Next, they’re going to try Top Chef, where they plug the hole with Tom Colicchio’s giant bald head.
  • They’re not blaming anyone yet. They won’t jump to conclusions before all the facts, data, and one way tickets to Paraguay come in.
  • Clearly they don’t cause spills, they cause unstoppable gushers.
  • Of course! Dawn dishwashing liquid! They made that commercial last summer and now there’s an oil spill. How convenient!
  • I’m speaking of the American astronaut, like Space Fonzie over here.
  • To get used to weightlessness, I have let my muscles atrophy for 46 years.
  • Did I just catch you in a space lie?
  • Jon, I think you might be due for a crucifixion.


  1. Michele says:

    I LOL’d at SCILF! Ok, WTF is up with pouring vodka in your eye?! I can’t believe anyone actually does that! I agree it was nice to see “Stephen” point out the sheer stupidity of that and that segment was funny.

    I only got to watch a tiny bit of the interview with the astronauts last Tueday morning and never got a chance to watch the video posted here so I was really happy to see it on the show last night. It was funny and just plain awesome at the same time.

    I need to go back and watch the interview. I was starting to doze off by then. *sigh*

  2. leorabk says:

    i dunno whats going on but they didnt post the astronaut interview on colbert nation :( hopefully its just a small glitch and it will be fixed soon but besides for that i am so happy he is back. sigh… i do wish that the interview would have been longer

  3. Jerzegrl says:

    So happy to laugh again in late night!! So right about him bubbling with joy. He called the show the “Joy Machine” in the last Rolling Stone article. He was literally glowing with it!
    BP is going to give them weeks of material but I enjoyed how Vodka Eyeballing was the lead. Shows they’re not beholden to the news cycle to be funny.
    “That’s Jagertainting – Copyright 2010, Stephen Colbert.” Just a little bit naughty ;-p

  4. SCILF!! If I can’t put my vote in for SCILF, then it goes to the astronaut interview. The captions were so funny (Near/Far, Hither/Yon…), and the WristStrong salute was a thing of beauty. Vodka eyeballing was great – just when you think drunk college kids can’t get any dumber, they do. Hilarious segment. I also laughed at the shout-out to Jon during the interview.

    Oh, it’s good to have the show back :D

  5. lockhart43 says:

    It’s so nice to have the show back! The combination of the new episode and the Jon/Stephen/Conan Radio City dance-off just made last night the best night ever.

    Love the new intro word! SCILF. Now that’s just hilariously naughty. Loved the vodka eyeballing bit too, but I think my favorite segment was the BP coverage. Stephen’s comparison of the oil spill coverage to a regular television show was brilliant, especially the “who’s the hidden villain” part. I enjoyed the Ayaan Hirsi Ali interview. Religion is one of my favorite topics Stephen talks about on (and off) the show, which is why I’m excited for tonight’s guest as well. The shout-out to Jon was awesome too. :)

    And I’m not sure if this is good or bad, but part of me hopes “Jagertainting” (copyright Stephen Colbert 2010) catches on…the word, not the activity, of course. :P

  6. Mr. Arkadin says:

    Vodka eyeballing?! How did that get started? “Gee, I’m tried of sniffing Wite-Out all day.” “Yeah, me too. What’ll we do now? “Let’s pour Vodka into our eyes!” “Great idea!” Remarkable.
    Great to have the show back. :)

  7. The interview with the astronauts was entertaining and even a little touching… Colbert has a way to paying a little homage to hard-working people in jobs we conveniently forget about and reminds us of how utterly crazy-skilled many Americans really are. I got the impression the astronauts really enjoyed the interview and the exposure, to be recognized for their work, and that Colbert on the other end, was likewise enthused.

  8. jbirdNZ says:

    So nice to have him back and on such pure form. SCILF! LMAO!

  9. MaryLovesColbert says:

    I am SO glad the shows are back! :D

  10. SCILF FTW! And how.

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