Episode 6044 (4/1/2010)

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6044 (April 1, 2010)
GUESTS: David Frum, Judith Shulevitz
SEGMENTS: Stephen gets an iPad, Jello-o Pudding Heist
VIDEOS: Thursday, April 1, 2010

I already have a netbook, an iPhone, and a Barnes & Noble Nook, and I really like every one of these. They each serve a purpose, and each perform their function well. But I’m also a big Mac fan, and in our house we have an iMac, a Macbook, a Mac Mini media server, and two iPhones. On the one hand, I don’t need an iPad. I can blog easily on my Netbook with its compact profile and a full keyboard, I have constant connection to the Internet through my iPhone to check on my e-mail and keep up with the site, and I always have my Nook in my purse, ready to read a few pages from my most recently downloaded novel. On the other hand, Stephen makes a compelling argument about its ability to be a most excellent salsa maker. Damn, that thing is sexy. And the iPad looks great, too.

Yay for a reappearance of “Tha Professah” and his lecturing to a pile of used syringes! It amuses me ever so. And I really enjoyed the David Frum interview. For years, we’ve been pounded in the face like a Sea Org member with Fox News conservatism. But truth be told, that’s not traditional public policy, that’s just a ratings getter. True conservatism, is more the brake to the Democrat’s gas, and there’s a difference between touching your brake to slow down your car vs shooting off the tires if you put in regular vs premium. Okay, that kind of sucked – it’s too early in the morning for analogies. Let’s just say that if all conservatives were like David Brum, I wouldn’t be nearly as scared of them as I am with the likes of Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin.

Although it was short and sweet, I really liked the Pudding Mathematics segment. Stephen’s wrinkled fingered calculations never fail to amuse me. I don’t know how he hasn’t won the Fields Medal yet due to his work with food related equations – lest we forget, he is a also a pioneer in the field of donut mathematics.

I really enjoyed the Judith Shulevitz interview and the discussion of the sabbath. I’ve often lamented the lack of a sense of community in my own life, and regret that the wonderful social community we’ve built here on the site has to be virtual instead of in real time. I like how Judith put into words the concept of “not working – together” and really vocalized one of the things that seems to be lacking more and more in modern society.

What a wonderful week of shows – strong interviews, funny segments, and Stephen all kinds of rested and tanned. And did you notice he has a new iPad? Tell us what you thought of tonight’s show in the comments!

Stephen Colbert does Pudding Mathematics

  • Thank you for joining … us.
  • Oh look, the screen has both black *and* gray! Myrtle, get my calm pills!
  • And just like the iPhone, you can’t make calls with it.
  • And just look how quickly it makes delicious salsa!
  • Everyone here look under your chairs, because everyone here tonight gets a picture of me holding my iPad! You’re welcome! WHOO!!! April Fools, in case you were wondering.
  • Speaking of cults … Scientology.
  • And if he was really angry, he made them watch ‘Battlefield Earth’.
  • This health care bill is not a defeat, it’s a disas-protunity to win back control of Congress in November.
  • Way to show them you don’t need health care, Senator.
  • Let’s get right to it – I have an iPad.
  • What is it like to get fired from a think tank for thinking outside of the tank.
  • When has the head helped the Conservative movement? And don’t say Bill Buckley because he just had a nice accent.
  • Yes, but in prison, the pudding is free! Check and mate!
  • He rested, but He doesn’t have to pay China back.
  • Because if you sabbath your sabbath, and I sabbath my sabbath, then we will never sabbath together.


  1. I’d describe the analogy like this: there’s a difference between touching your brake to slow down your car versus shifting into reverse without taking your foot off the accelerator.

    I know lots of conservatives in the US who are scared by Glenn Beck and certainly by the thought of Sarah Palin seriously running for national office.

    But really – more food?? Am I imagining it, or are there more food related segments these days than there used to be? Too bad Stephen didn’t get to handle some pudding (and I really expected his ‘Cosby’ to make an appearance).

  2. leorabk says:

    yah my mom and i have definitely been realizing the major food them thats been going on lately- i was actually surprised that colbert didnt demonstrate what they did with actual pudding!
    the people in that audience are so lucky- they got a…picture of stephen holding his ipad!
    i actually thought the interview was kinda annoying just because that lady would not stop swiveling in her chair- very distracting :(

    • colbaby says:

      Same here. I didn’t hear one word of the interview beyond, “I have an iPad,” because I was too busy watching her swivel. Though I tend to do the same thing when in those types of chairs.

  3. A fun week of shows! The interview with Frum was comically interesting. Glad he attempted to explain the difference in views.

    Interesting discussion concerning the dfferent types of time. She may have blown my mind!

  4. ColbertGirl27 says:

    Was hoping to see an “Attack on Easter” segment along with the graphic, but I guess the sabbath interview gave the show some religious edge tonight:) I liked the idea of “not working–together” as well and was interested as to why Shulevitz chose Sunday over Saturday as the day of rest. Maybe because it’s best to have that day of rest right before the busy work week kicks in again?

  5. Mr. Arkadin says:

    I voted for the IPad segment. Given how technologically challenged I am, I would much prefer a picture of Stephen holding an IPad, then a real IPad. :)
    Do we have any Zoners who were there last night? ReporT please!
    I have to say, I didn’t understand what Shulevitz was saying at all. I found her much more frustrating then the “History of White People” lady from two weeks ago. I half expected Stephen to start swiveling his chair too!
    A great week all around.
    Oh, yeah. And thanks for removing the Mencia banner too!

    • lockhart43 says:

      “Oh, yeah. And thanks for removing the Mencia banner too!”

      Yes, thank you! I feel like if I look at Carlos Mencia too long, I might lose my mind and start thinking he’s actually funny. ;-)

  6. Karenatasha says:

    Ha to all the comments! I too noticed that Stephen’s eating quite a bit in his segments these days, not even just talking about food, and that Shulevitz also couldn’t stop swiveling. It was enormously distracting and I think when she herself watched the segment it must have galled her; I doubt she realized it at the time.

    As a Jew, I do have a problem with her singling out Sunday to be the protected universal Sabbath.Mind you, I’m not religious enough to care either way, but still, many people are.

    • as a jew i was a bit shocked when she said the whole sunday over saturday line- it was unnecessary. she didnt have time to explain what she meant so she should not have said it at all.

      • Karenatasha says:

        I think that if she’s simply advocating a day of rest and renewal, perhaps she should have removed it from the religious realm, not referred to it as sabbath, and given it a new name. It is possible, however, that she didn’t realize her time was up and hoped to be able to explain her reasoning. It could be as simple as the fact that because most people don’t work on Sunday and can go out on Saturday night, “sabbath” should be the day before we return to our jobs. But that’s just my guess.

  7. mrtigger001 says:

    “Everyone here look under your chairs, because everyone here tonight gets a… picture of me holding my iPad!”

    Stephen is a cruel, cruel man.

  8. So did anyone else think it was strange that Stephen’s Ipad apparently didn’t change when he moved it from vertical to horizontal or vice versa? Remember at the Grammys the Ipad screen did re-orient itself. So I am wondering if it was maybe a mockup? Though I’m sure he will get one soon. That joke about the Ipad/Stephen photos under the chairs was great.

    I liked the idea of the author’s book. It’s so easy to get into all the social networking and spend so much time online! It does become a thing that maybe takes away from the rest of life if you let it.

  9. lockhart43 says:

    I knew they’d give Stephen an iPad eventually! I love when he gets all kid-giddy when he gets something new, it’s adorable. I also love when Stephen takes expensive gifts or prestigious awards and does completely irresponsible things with them, ie making salsa with an iPad, feeding baby food to his Grammy – it always makes me laugh :). And I will never, ever get sick of that calculator bit! I loved it in Strangers With Candy, and I love it now. :D

    I really enjoyed the David Frum interview. It’s reassuring to know that there are still conservative Republicans out there who aren’t afraid to question their own party’s principles. And I’m sure I would have liked the Judith Shulevitz interview more if she hadn’t distracted me with the chair-swiveling…at least Stephen didn’t seem to be as distracted as the rest of us though, which is good.

    • “I also love when Stephen takes expensive gifts or prestigious awards and does completely irresponsible things with them.”

      Me too! He takes the puffed-up self-importance that usually comes with having something nobody else does, and turns it ridiculously upside down. I love to imagine people gasping in horror (while I laugh hysterically)!

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