Episode 6037 (3/15/2010)

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6037 (March 15, 2010)
GUESTS: Robert Baer
SEGMENTS: The WØRD: Afghanistan, Raj Patel is claimed the messiah Maitreya by Share International
VIDEOS: Monday, March 15, 2010

Good afternoon, Zoners! I just didn’t have time to finish the guide this morning, so I hope you’ll forgive my tardiness in getting this episode guide completed. But first, a quick side note – I’m seriously hoping that Wren is having a blast on her vacation, and had a blast at the show last night.

The things that really stood out for me were just moments of pure Stephen adorableness. Here’s a list of some of my faves:

  • The goofy grin he got after wondering what a naked Rahm Emmanuel was using to poke Massa in the chest
  • “Oh no he Kenne-Di’n’t!”
  • ” … Meow meow meow.”
  • “They hugged! Two dudes – look!”
  • Stephen to Jon: “Love you baby.”
  • Stephen suppressing a smile as he said “Mmm … infallibly delicious.”
  • Stephen’s excited voice when he said “I’m a GODMAKER!”
  • Stephen playing with the balloons.
  • Raj Patel’s laugh [I know technically that’s not Stephen but it makes me have butterflies in my tummy]
  • Stephen talking about taking the SAT

What did you think about this episode?

Raj Patel is the Messiah

  • Pardon me if I’m not fresh as a daisy.
  • Though Rahm famously lost the tip of his finger as a teenager, so I don’t know what he was poking Massa with. [*grin*]
  • Camelot Camelost: The Madness of Prince Patrick – Oh No He Kenne-Di’n’t!
  • Now, legally I can’t explain what snorkeling is. Let’s just say you’re wearing that snorkel because you’re spear fishing for the one-eyed trouser trout.
  • They hugged! Two dudes! Look – Jimmy, show them! Look at that! Now I’m not saying they’re playing hide the kabob. But it sure looks like Karzai is being groped by Mahmoud Ahma-tickle-jad.
  • It’s called the Colbert Bump. And it definitely worked for me. Before I came on my show, I was stuck at a dead end job working for a total jerk.
  • Of course, sometimes the Colbert Bump ends up making people famous for the wrong reason. That is called the Colbert Bump-in’ Uglies for which I claim no responsibility and will pay no child support.
  • Mmm … Infallibly delicious.
  • I know what you’re thinking. But Porky Pig was born in America.
  • Yes, the final sign that the New York Times will report anything.
  • Whoo! I deified it! I’m not just a king maker, I’m a God maker!
  • I would love to think for myself. How should I do that?


  1. lockhart43 says:

    DB, that is a complete round-up of everything I loved about last night’s episode. Stephen was absolutely adorable. I especially loved his comment to Jon. :]

    The Word was amazing! Especially Stephen’s “Oh no he Kenne-di’n’t!” – that made me laugh so hard! And Raj Patel as the second coming of Buddha? I’m okay with that, actually.

    If I had one qualm about last night’s episode, it’s only that I wish the interview with Bob Baer could have been longer. I loved the entire conversation, especially how engaged Stephen was. I enjoyed the six minutes while it lasted. :)
    Stephen seemed like he was in a great mood last night. Can’t wait for the rest of the shows this week!

  2. MaryLovesColbert says:

    Oh, I agree, you really rounded up all the adorable moments there! A very adorable show, really. Really loved his comment about Jon. =D

  3. It’s really hard to resist the influence of the “Colbert Bump” even on the Divine.


    I’m not sure if Raj Patel’s entry in his blog which he used the clip from Monty Phython’s Life of Brian that showed Brian’s mother saying “He’s not the Messiah, he’s just a naughty boy!” would be enough to dissuade those that saw the segment on TCR from being convinced of his divinity.

    As they say “Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them” So Raj Patel might have little choice in accepting the mantle if his goals are to affect change and improvement.

    He could do a lot worse with Stephen as his “John the Baptist especially with how good he looked with his head on the platter. Now that he has “deified it”, he can spread the word to help Raj Patel to achieve his goals. A little good PR can go a long way.

  4. I agree with all of the adorableness DB listed! The man is just too cute! A nice start to the week.

    Is it me or are the chants for “Stephen” lasting a bit longer at the beginning? I appreciate the energy and enthusiasm in the crowd (luckily I experienced it first hand) and I’m sure Stephen does too but sometimes I just want the show to start so I can get as much content as possible. Maybe it just bothers me when it appears as though he is trying to start with a comedic bit and needs the crowd to quiet down in order to set the mood (ex. being tired from daylight savings time). It could, of course, just be me–and that’s ok. :)

    • lockhart43 says:

      Don’t worry, it’s not just you – I get annoyed by it too, sometimes. I tell myself to let it go because it just shows how much the audience loves Stephen and that his character thrives off of it anyway, but sometimes it gets to me. It seemed to go on a long time on Monday’s show, but on Tuesday it seemed a lot better.

      However, I’m sure if I were in the audience, I would be screaming as loud as my lungs would allow. So it’s just something I force myself to live with, lol. :)

  5. Mr. Arkadin says:

    I thought it was a very good show all around. The Word was great & any segment where there’s a balloon drop to celebrate Stephen greatness is a winner. Especially one in which it turns out Stephen’s revealed a new Messiah!;)
    I liked the interview, but didn’t it seem to end abruptly with canned applause?

    • The applause was real, there’s just a brief edit point in there. Stephen ended the interview by saying how important the topic was, and that everyone should read the article. Then he made a joke about how it was placed next to a perfume ad so it smelled good, too. That little bit was edited out, evidently for time.

  6. During the Raj Patel segment I just kept picturing how amused Stephen and the writers must have been when they found out about all of this. TCR never fails in the surreal department does it? And I LOVE balloon drops!

    The interview was absolutely beautiful. I enjoyed every moment of that conversation and particularly loved watching Stephen ask interesting and engaging questions while remaining fully in character.

  7. “Love you baby” was the highlight, I squeaked! Actually I had to watch it again in case I misheard it and that all was just wishful thinking :-)

  8. The Raj Patel bit was fantastic. But did anyone else notice that the date of the Benjamin Creme (mmm..) video was Jan 10, and the Raj Patel interview was the 12th? Did they date the Creme (mmm…) video wrong or was he referring to a different show?

  9. Three words: Best Day Ever. If you’ve been to a taping, you’ll know what I mean – it’s such a fun experience. Do it if you can.

    Two points about the taping that may be of interest: Stephen talked a bit more with Raj Patel during the break. He asked if Raj thought there was any way he could get out of this deity thing, and Raj said it didn’t look like it. Stephen said maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but Raj said that people are already traveling thousands of miles to see him, and stalking his wife. I feel bad for him.

    Stephen also kept talking to Bob Baer during the break after his interview, and seemed really engaged with the conversation. I thought the interview was fascinating (if disturbing), and I so wished I could have heard what they were saying.

    A fabulous time was had by all (sorry about the chanting, luvtcr – it wasn’t me!). I think it says a lot about the show and its staff that after a long & tiring day, and a looooong & boring wait, they can turn it all around, pack the room with such laughter and joy, and send us all home smiling. My thanks to Stephen and all the staff for a great time!

    • It’s a shame that his wife has to pay the price also, I sympathize as well.

      The even more disturbing thing I found on his blog about the subject was the amount of people denouncing him as the anti-christ also and their hatred about it.

      The unfortunate part about that is the dogmatic attitudes that people are projecting onto Raj Patel he has not not tried to espouse any of the myths that are being spread about him.

      I guess it is a lot easier for people to put their faith in authorities to tell them what to do than to accept responsibility of figuring out how to think for themselves and make their own decisions instead of having authorities to blame them on.

    • No problem–I am torn: at home I want to watch more Stephen, if I was there, I would chant and be giddy because I was in studio. I understand! :)

    • lockhart43 says:

      I’m so happy you had a great time wren!

      I was so busy focusing on how awesome it is that Raj got the Colbert Bump that I forgot to think about how crazy his life must be right now with people constantly following him around calling him the Second Coming. Hopefully the whole thing doesn’t get too out of hand.

      And I agree that the interview was incredibly fascinating if not a little disturbing…just hearing Baer explain to Stephen how he could kill him with a No. 2 pencil scared me a bit. I still love how interested Stephen was in the conversation and I would love to hear the whole thing.

    • I was wondering about how all this would be affecting Patel and his family and personal life. I feel badly for him. People are crazy, unfortunately, and probably won’t leave him alone.

      On a happier note, I’m glad you had such a good time at the show! :-)

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