Episode 6029 (3/1/2010)

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6029 (March 1, 2010)
GUESTS: Michael Bublé, Don Cheadle
SEGMENTS: Barack Obama mentions Stephen (twice!), Stephane Colbert, Vancouverage
VIDEOS: Monday, March 1, 2010

It’s good to see that Stephen is still milking the Vancouver coverage. Here’s hoping that we get to see even more goodies that we were tipped off about both on the ColbertNation.com site, and maybe even the show!

It’s so funny to see Stephen mention himself as being mentioned by someone famous. It’s so meta. And having Stephen be mentioned twice by the president’s office is quite hysterical. Stephen’s metaphor of the parties being a married couple and the “issue” being a baby was another excellent example of Stephen being able to explain any situation in the most bizarre of terms.

Is it just me, or did Stephane Colbert look like a young Jerry Lewis? Maybe it was the glasses and hair. And yay for the Michael Bublé interview! With the singing! It was deliciously awkward.

What did all of you enjoy about the episode tonight?

Stephen Colbert as Stephane Colbert

  • You all know two things know about me. I’m not a fan of the President, and I’m not an egomaniac. But last week, the President mentioned me twice!
  • But not quite as excited as I am about the most powerful man in the world saying my name in space.
  • The only way it could have been more boring is if they were curling.
  • And to this day, when the wind whips around the moor, you can still hear the teeth saying “Remember to floss!”
  • Repeat after me: F@#k ’em! If those “30 million people” want health care, let them get a better job, or join the Army, or go to Canada, or eat Flintstones vitamins – it’s not our problem! Stop faking caregasms!
  • Stephane Colbert: Yes. You damned pig’s vagina.
  • Being in Vancouver for the last two weeks really helped me get past all the lazy stereotypes of Canadians being beaver humping moose jockeys.
  • It would certainly make a lot more sense than what the Russians did last night by promoting their games with radioactive space ovaries.
  • I paid my $12 bucks, you do the work.
  • Why aren’t you doing heroin for Darfur?
  • The nicest drug addicts you’ve ever met in your life.


  1. I voted “Stephen wins the Olympics” just because is was such a perfect parody. The heavy breathing, the hugging, the sports gear, the tears, the thank-yous and nicknames. Hilarious.

    The Star-Candada’d Banner was fantastic. I love Buble’s voice as well as Stephen’s, but they didn’t seem to…fit together. No matter, though, loved the hybrid.

    As for Stefan Colbert…I just want to marry him.

    • Yeah they didn’t really fit, and actually Stephen sounded quite a bit better. I bet he practiced! :) It was pretty massive

    • nerdygirl says:

      I noticed their voices didn’t blend either, I couldn’t tell if Buble was trying to harmonize or if they just didn’t pick the same key. Or is it possible that Buble doesn’t know the tune all that well? It’s not his national anthem, after all.

  2. I think Stephen should take a note from Stephane’s wardrobe manual and where his top buttons undone more often!!

  3. I want to see a 3way interview between Stephen, Stephane and Esteban.

    • friedthing says:

      God, no!! Thanks to my (completely useless) degree in Romance Languages, Stephen speaking Spanish and French makes my ears bleed, it’s so awful. Esteban Colberto is pretty much the only thing about the Report that makes me want to destroy the screen. Total love, otherwise, haha :)

      • I’ll go one better. Stephen, Stephane and Esteban with Stephen doing Ching Chong Ding Dong at some point.

    • PriyaNoblet says:

      LOL THAT WOULD BE AMAZING, no doubt! Steeephen, visit nofactzone! There’s a wonderful idea floating ’round here!

  4. So sometimes I leave the TV on after the show and TOSH.0 comes on. Sometimes it’s funny but mostly it’s just eh… so last night I put my kid to bed and come back in with tosh on and he’s got a big pic of Colbert in Vancouver up on his screen. Tosh goes on about how his show can’t afford to sponsor an Olympic team but for the price of a cup of coffee was able to photoshop an image of his Iranian Ice Dancer. She was in a black burka with the Tosh.0 logo all the way across it on the diagonal. Sorry… I LAUGHED!! But now I can’t find the vid at Tosh’s Comedy Central site cause they only have the bits and not the intros and exits. So no screen cap from me for that one.

    oh well

    (oh and the President talkin’ about Stephen was way cool!)

  5. Wow! That episode had everything. TCR really can do it all from parody to political analogies. Glad they used the Olympic wrap-up to show more Vancouverage. And, I agree with marko above, would love to see a Stephen, Esteban, Stephane split screen debate, discussion, interview, etc.

  6. This was such a strong show! There was so much to love here, but probably my favorite for its sheer brilliance was Stephen’s analogy of the Democrats and Republicans as a married couple. That’s a skit that really shows Stephen’s brilliance and I’m going to remember it for a long time; or at least as long as the health care debate.

    I love O Canada sung to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner! It’s a shame Bublé couldn’t get the key to our national anthem quite right; Stephen actually sounded quite a bit better. And Don Cheadle was a really entertaining and thoughtful interviewee.

    • I give them credit for trying – it’s pretty hard to sing a song you know well to a different tune.
      This reminded me of the “old days” where we used to sing the theme to “Gilligan’s Island” to the tune of “Stairway to Heaven”.

      And I had a real LOL when Stèphane came on… having lived in Quebec for several years it was a treat to hear this version of Quebecois.

  7. haha! i knew buble would be on this week! its to good to miss!

  8. oh, a question… whats the story with stephane colbert?

    is he supposed to be a parody of someone specific? or a broad stereotype? french canadians “are” boors?

  9. Very excited about Don Cheadle, he’s one of my favourite actors.
    Liked Stéphane’s outfit and hair – the glasses… not so much. And his French is truly, truly awful.

  10. Ms Interpreted says:

    I loved loved loved Don Cheadle’s interview. He had a really great, “Yes, and” approach to the whole thing (you could tell Stephen *really* wasn’t expecting Cheadle to agree to a charity “trade”). Cheadle was looking a bit thin and I hope he gets some rest, but he seems like a really genuine, cool human.

    That anthem mash-up made my head hurt, but Bublé’s comment about their flag totally cracked me up. I must confess that I had a Canadian flag on my backpack when I did my wandering through Europe.

    So, I’m curious. I don’t speak French, but could someone here please tell me whether it was Stephane’s Quebecois-French accent that you found awful, or is it Stephen’s regular French accent that’s objectionable (or both)? I had always heard that French as spoken by the Quebecois is totally different from that spoken by natives of France (and that purists amongst the latter *hate* the pronounciation in Quebec). Since I don’t have any true familiarity with either, I just found the whole thing funny.

    • M. Arkadin says:

      I’m a admirer of Cheadle as well & enjoyed him with Stephen. But I was unnerved by how thin looking he was. I keep wondering if it was some kind of “method actor” thing for a new role.

      • Cheadle’s thinness was the first thing I noticed, too. I hope it’s only “method acting,” and not something more serious.

  11. Mr. Arkadin says:

    My favorite part of the show was Colbert outing that heinous war criminal Tom Selleck. It’s about time someone nailed that SOB! ;)

    • lockhart43 says:

      I loved the Tom Selleck name-drop too!
      *whispers* “He’s killed millions! No one knows that!” So the truth finally comes out, Mr. Selleck. ;-)

  12. jbirdNZ says:

    Oh, so much goodness in the show tonight, from the beginning to the end. I voted for Stephane (but the intro and the Presidential mentions were close, and Buble, so *much* cleverness) -I’m with marko, I’d like to see all SC’s other selves together. *sigh*

  13. Balogna! says:

    Love Stephen, but no love here for Stephane. I just don’t, do not, like the look, or the sound for that matter — he doesn’t look himself, is what i’m saying, hah

  14. I haven’t voted yet, and I’m not sure I will – so much fabulousness in this episode. However, “The Pluto Files” just began, so I won’t elaborate.

  15. What a strong show from start to finish. Just look at the poll results, they’re all over the place. The Olympics kiss & cry bit was spot on silliness, the marriage counseling/health care analogy was sharp and funny, the interview was smart and interesting. I also loved the bit on Obama mentioning Stephen – it was a perfect blend of OMG!Space! and Knox College Assault on Reason. Win win win!

  16. friedthing says:

    WHAT?!?! NO!!! I always watch them on Hulu because on the shows’ sites they are choppy or blurry or frozen or constantly buffering… no doubt due to my infuriatingly unreliable internet connection. Grrr. Well, hopefully this new development will help cure me of my general Hulu addiction :(.

  17. Stephen in the “kiss and cry” area was pure silliness and a darn good parody. The mash-up of the national anthems didn’t really work for me because they couldn’t quite get it together. Bublé didn’t know the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner” all that well, and frankly they would’ve benefited from some rehearsal. I give him points for trying, though, because I bet most Americans couldn’t sing “Oh Canada.”

    Nice shout-out for Katherine Reutter and Team Night Train for their Olympic medal wins! One of my favorite moments of the Olympic coverage those last few days was seeing Katherine’s reaction when she realized that she’d won a medal. I think my ears are still ringing from the scream she let out. :D

  18. PriyaNoblet says:

    *thud* Stephane! J’adore Stephane Colbert. <3 lalala

    Ahh man, the Buble interview and song kinda sucked. Their voices don't work well together and Michael didn't seem very into the interview. It was just awkward, and not in the awesome way. haha.

    It was a good interview though, For sure! I hope we get to see more open collars in the near future ;)

  19. Michele says:

    The national anthems mash-up was a little painful but amusing. Buble seems like a nice guy and a good sport but someone should tell him skinny jeans look terrible on men.

    I loved the marriage counseling/healthcare debate analogy and really enjoyed the interview with Don Cheadle. Oh and French Canadian Stephen was hilarous!

  20. the beginning was SO FUNNY! I actually laughed out loud, which, although I watch a lot of comedy on my computer, is kind of rare!

    I thought French Canadian Stephane was pretty amusing. I was hoping he’d call himself Etienne though…perhaps that wouldn’t be as easily to follow as a related name. I like when French turns up anywhere, because I miss studying it so much since I graduated from high school. (I keep up with it as much as I can.)

    I am glad I’m not the only person who was like “wait isn’t he strangely thin?” during Don Cheadle’s interview. I’m not meaning everyone needs to stay exactly the same weight, but I noticed…

    also this is a random milestone but I calculated and sometime this week or last week I’ll finally have watched more than half of all the Reports ever made. I missed 2005, 2006 AND 2007 but I’m not a total noob anymore either!

    • lockhart43 says:

      Congrats on your milestone! I definitely still have some TCR catch-up to do, and I’m still watching old Correspondent Stephen clips from TDS. Can’t wait til the summer when I’ll finally have some down time to have past-Stephen make me laugh! :)

    • quebecman says:

      Stéphane and Stéphanie are very common first names in Québec. People in Québec would have had a hard time making the connection between Etienne and Stephen. Stéphane is more obvious.

      I can see that he tried to speak with a French Canadian accent instead of Parisian French but it is way too nasal. Sounded like an English Canadian who learned to pronounce by listening to a toothless old farmer. Not a talk-show host.

      And “Damned pig’s vagina” isn’t a typical insult. Don’t know where they took that one.

      • Cool! I don’t really know about the names too well, I just remembered learning about the different variants, and somehow it stuck with me.

  21. lockhart43 says:

    I loved Stephen’s kid-reaction to President Obama’s mentioning of him (twice!). And having heard about both mentions before on NFZ, I was super giddy to hear him mention them on the show.

    The opening segment about Republicans and health care was sooo incredibly satisfying. It seems like it would be so bizarre to explain, but Stephen’s “marriage counseling” metaphor was absolutely perfect. The way he was able to call out Republicans on their BS, while at the exact same time telling them that he’s one of them, was brilliant.

    Singing with Michael Bublé was hilariously awkward, and I won’t complain about the song, since I love ANY opportunity to hear Stephen sing. I thought the Don Cheadle interview was really fantastic – I especially loved that Stephen mentioned Darfur and that Don talked a bit about Not On Our Watch.
    And if we could see more of Stephane Colbert, I would really appreciate that. :]

  22. cordgrass says:

    Stephen winning the Olympics was the best thing ever!

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