Episode 6021 (2/8/2010)
By
EPISODE NUMBER: 6021 (February 8, 2010)
GUESTS: Jonathan Safran Foer
SEGMENTS: The WØRD: Faux ‘N’ Tell
VIDEOS: Monday, February 8, 2010
There were two things I was really disappointed about in the Super Bowl this year. The first is that there weren’t any seriously memorable ads. And secondly, all of the commercials were on Hulu before the game even started. What’s the fun in that?! The enjoyment of the Superbowl ads is that they are one of the rare communal experiences we as a society have any more. That being said, I actually enjoyed the game for once, and that’s got to be some kind of first.
You know, every time I think that Sarah Palin can’t get any stupider, she manages to prove me wrong. The “retard” comment controversy is positively surreal in its stupidity. I found the Jonathan Safran Foer interview to be rather interesting. I’ve eaten pretty much every way you can eat from macrobiotic to Atkins diet. Right now I’m one of those people that eats meat but feels vaguely guilty about it. However, I do have respect for people who don’t eat meat due to their own personal convictions.
What did all of you think about the show tonight?
- I was sure this would be the year that there would be squirrels in a farting contest to sell Doritos. Instead, my director Jimmy cleaned me out on beaver playing fiddle and soaking with blonde in hot tub to sell Monster.com. It’s like I always say, nothing sells like implied beastiality.
- In Toyota’s defense, their slogan is “moving forward”. They don’t say anything about stopping.
- Yes! When will Obama get it? We are at war … with Nigeria. Or Yemen. Or Underwear. [The Boxer Rebellion].
- Behind all the laughter, the senator is making a very serious point about the FBI. They are terrible at finding out the truth. Even their most famous agents, Mulder and Scully never found the truth out there. Or in each other’s full ripe lips. [Or Abducted Each Other's Pants]
- We could have found out how many fingers he had!
- No taxation without representation, but there is a two-drink minimum.
- Palin 2012: Abandon All Hope That Anything Will Ever Change
- Writing notes on your hand shows that she’s an average Jane, not like those elites and their “memory”.
- It’s so subtle, you see. So many layers.
- And Sarah Palin knows it’s okay to call someone a retard if, like Rush, you clearly don’t mean it. Which is why we should all come to her defense and say Sarah Palin is a f**king retard! You see? It’s satire! This also explains the note in her other hand: “Retard = Sometimes Funny”
- Walk me through it, bum me out, ruin my next meal.
- So turkey’s can’t “do it”? Really? Their drumlettes are too big?
- You can really taste the suffering!
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42 Comments
February 9th, 2010 at 9:35 am
The Sarah Palin piece had me laughing for a good 10 minutes. So great.
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February 9th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Great episode to start the week! Commentary on the Super Bowl commercials, Toyota, and a wonderful Word. Loved his telling the audience, when they let out a low boo about his dig on Obama, “Oh wake up!” or something similar.
Wow! I wasn’t sure he would say it, but when he did- it still blew me away! The man has no fear in the face of comedy! To actually call Sarah Palin out AND call her a [well, you know!]– all I can say is Wow! He said what so many people are thinking. I wonder if she’ll go after him or respond?!
Interesting interview- both fun and enlightening!
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
I loved the “Oh, wake up!” comment, too! I love when he responds to the audience’s reactions like that.
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February 9th, 2010 at 10:43 am
See?! It’s SATIRE!
thank God
U
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February 9th, 2010 at 10:57 am
It’s so immensely satisfying to hear someone call Sarah Palin that. I may make an mp3 of that and play it on infinite loop.
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February 9th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Forget the continuous loop. I’ll pay a nickel to whomever can make that my ringtone. Heck, I might spring for a whole dime for an unsensored version popping out of my phone during boring faculty meetings.
ReCAPTCHA: is names
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
*grabby hands* Ringtone, please!
I, too, would play it during boring faculty meetings!
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February 9th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Heck, I would *buy* a cell phone just so I could have this ringtone play during boring faculty meetings!
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February 9th, 2010 at 11:09 am
I can’t believe he managed to say that out loud. I was totally celebrating when he said it. I still am, and I’m trying to be quiet because it’s midnight and everyone’s already asleep. Bravo, Stephen.
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February 9th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
It’s the same sort of reaction I remember having when he called Palin’s book “a steaming pile of sh*t” in complete seriousness. She must really get under their skin there at the Report :). I love it!
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February 9th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Ditto ditto ditto!
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Ohh just thinking about the “steaming pile of sh*t” comment makes me smile. Fan-freaking-tastic. :]
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February 9th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Or “Who the f**k is Sarah Palin!?”
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February 9th, 2010 at 11:17 am
I voted for The Word, mostly because I always love that segment, but my second choice would definitely be the Sarah Palin part. Correct me if I’m wrong, and if you can find reference to this, please share it with me because I can’t remember where I saw it, but didn’t someone once catch her calling Trig something like “my little retard”? Maybe she was just being satirical. Maybe I dreamed it. More likely, she has no idea what satire is.
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February 9th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Her daughters baby daddy claimed she did.
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February 9th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Sorry. I thought it was from a credible source.
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February 9th, 2010 at 11:21 am
Oh, thank you, Stephen, for actually saying that about Palin. So great.
As a card-carrying member of the Angry Vegan Mob, I’m so psyched that Jonathan Safran Foer’s book is getting attention. There’s so much more than can possibly be said in five minutes, but I’m glad Stephen wasn’t super combative or anything.
Was that a Colbert Report Sigg Bottle? How do I get me one?
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February 9th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
I don’t know, but I want on that Sigg bottle list too. Maybe they decided that the plastic bottle he kept under the desk wasn’t environmentally sound?
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
I noticed the bottle too! I think it has his picture on it–it was hard to tell as he batted it around w/out his thumbs! :)
Would love to see that available for purchase.
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February 9th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
mesmerizing purple tie…
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February 9th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
Oh, I totally forgot to mention that in the guide, and I totally meant to! Yeah, it was very lovely. I like it when he branches out from red, blue, and red/blue striped.
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February 9th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
The retard thing I think was covered appropriately. Sarah Palin and other organizations seem to think retard should never be used in any context. My uncle, before his death in 1999, was mentally retarded. He would himself make jokes and call me a retard. Mental retardation shouldn’t be made into a joke like Sarah Palin did. Stewart and Colbert actually proved that retard can be used properly in satire. Retard is not accusing someone of being stupid, it just means slow or delay. Retardondo is a phrase in music which means the piece slows.
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February 9th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
The whole Sarah Palin bit made me laugh so hard. Especially when he said that line. I knew it had to be coming, but I still cracked up so hard when he said it.
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February 9th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
I think Stephen labeling his thumb actually made me laugh harder than just about anything else, but it was a really strong show again last night.
As to the Sarah Palin “satire”, well … we know Rahm Emanuel hasn’t always been Stephen’s biggest fan, but I bet if he saw the punchline to last night’s bit, he would have wanted to re-create this moment. :)
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February 9th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
that interview was better than that guy last week who wasn’t wearing normal shoes and likes to run around like a prehistoric person or something…because I feel like I can actually apply these health guidelines (and avoid hotdogs!) the last one made me feel silly for going to the gym because I wasn’t dodging around trees there.
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Looking in from the outside, I just can’t believe that people in the US can actually take Sarah Palin seriously. She’s set women in politics back 30 years, and that $100k the tea party spent on her could have been spent on better things, surely (like hiring a teleprompter for a better speaker). So any and every time Stephen zings her is fine by me.
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
“She’s set women in politics back 30 years…”
Couldn’t agree with you more. She represents everything that is still ignorant in this country, and the fact that anyone takes what she does seriously scares me. I loved the quip that Stephen made last night, “Little known fact – the Boston Tea Party also turned a profit.” The fact that the tea party convention paid Palin $100k, along with all of the merchandise the convention-goers were buying a selling shows how commercialized and full of crap they really are. I really love any time Jon and Stephen are able to give Palin the proverbial uppercut, joke-wise.
reCAPTCHA: nauseous Nations – after hearing Palin speak? Yes, sir.
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February 9th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
The world was full of admiration when Obama was elected; we all thought yes, Americans have done the right thing -if Palin ran and won in 2012, the US would be even more of a laughing stock than when Bush got in the 2nd time.
The USA *needs* people like Stephen and Jon to wake people up. Unfortunately the ones that need to be shaken up are watching O’Reilly and Beck, I guess.
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February 10th, 2010 at 12:32 am
The way I see it, if Hilary Clinton couldn’t win in 2008, then Sarah Palin doesn’t stand a chance. I think the amount of people (or more importantly, people who actually vote) who support Palin is exaggerated. At least Clinton had more of a majority of supporters than Palin could ever hope for. But if hell froze over and Palin ran in 2012 and won, I would seriously consider moving out of the country.
I’ve always said that Jon and Stephen say the things that are in my head, only they make them sound much smarter and funnier. And I do agree with you that the ones that need to be shaken up are watching O’Reilly and Beck…it’s really more sad than it is frustrating.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
“She’s set women in politics back 30 years…”
Indeed. I think this pic says it all:
http://i37.tinypic.com/2ey87ki.jpg
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
What a great show to start off the week! Loved the Word last night, especially the last line by Stephen that wrapped the whole thing together. I am continually amazed at how many people, senators and congresspeople no less, seem to think that torturing and coercing someone into giving up information is okay. It’s really great that Stephen and the staff are willing to cover stories like the one last night with a sense of satire and brutal honesty.
I would have voted for the Word if that Palin bit hadn’t been so completely satisfying! To hear him say that Sarah Palin is a f**king retard, and then to listen to the audience’s reaction, was just wonderful. I was laughing and cheering at my television. I liked the Jonathan Safran Foer interview as well – it makes me very to see that more and more people are speaking out against factory farms.
Oh, and that purple tie? DEE-lightful! :D
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February 9th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said, but I just had to chime in about the Palin line. The feeling I got from hearing those words come out of his mouth can only be described as orgasmic. And I loved the grin he wore afterwards, like he knew he is the ONLY person that could get away with saying that on television.
Oh and I loved that both he and Jon had stuff written on their hands last night. And both were so very much in keeping with their on screen personalities. Jon: “make face…curse..” Stephen: “thumb”. :P
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February 9th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
I voted for the sarah palin part of the show. She grates on my nerves with her irritating voice and her two-faced attitude. When I heard about her hand notes and defense of rush I couldn’t wait to see how Stephen would rip her to shreads. He did an awesome job thank you Stephen it made my day.
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February 9th, 2010 at 11:28 pm
OH MAN PURPLE TIE LAST NIGHT!! <3
Oh man! I've been telling people about Stephen calling Sarah Palin a f*cking retard all day, but alas.. not enough people I know even knew anything about this whole fiasco. Pssht. So great!
There's isnt much more to say that hasn't already been said. But golly, the whole "Thumb" thing made me LOL so hard!
Such a great episode.
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February 10th, 2010 at 1:51 am
that woman is so hypocritcal its laughable. how does anybody take her seriously? hows that hopey changey thing? awww so cute ms. palin.
oh, and could you stop calling for personal resignation requests. this world isn’t all about you. thanks
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February 10th, 2010 at 3:19 am
I disagree that there were no memorable ads. How about that Leno/Letterman/Oprah thing? That was such a big surprise. Let’s not forget that these two guys are gonna be competing in less than a month. This is somewhat unprecedented.
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February 10th, 2010 at 6:47 am
Wow Stephen’s hands even look soft!! I wonder how he gets them so soft?
“Hopey, changey thing” good Lord I can’t stand that women. It’s funny when Tina Fey does it but the real thing scares the crap outta me!!
I’m with Josh, the Leno/Oprah/Letterman ad was epic!! Apparently Conan was ment to be in Oprah’s spot but he declined the offer :(
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February 10th, 2010 at 11:34 am
It’s not possible to say thank you enough for what Stephen said last night. Halleluiah, it was glorious!
It doesn’t seem possible that Palin could make herself look any worse than she already has…but you know it’s going happen…so it shouldn’t take much longer to finally finish her own grave.
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February 10th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
You’d think by now that Sarah might stop setting herself up to be the well-deserved target of so much, well, satire!
recaptcha: erupts jeans (what’s going to happen if I keep eating during this storm! :)
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February 10th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
@ Roland – Actually, my oldest brother has brain damage and cognitive disabilities, and the “R” word in any form evokes a reaction in my gut as strong as the “N” word – they’re both dehumanizing labels, IMO. As a former music teacher, I have used ritardando as a “teachable moment.” Thank you for understanding the connection, Roland.
Having preached all that, ONLY Stephen could make me laugh myself silly at hearing Sarah’s “satire” blow up in her face – beautiful!
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February 10th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Leave it to Stephen to know how to take a delicate situation and turn it on its ear so you’re left laughing instead of not knowing how to feel. That would be why I loved the bit Stephen did with Harry Reid’s “negro” comment last month so much.
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February 10th, 2010 at 9:31 pm
It really is a gift, isn’t it?
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