Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6021 (February 8, 2010)
GUESTS: Jonathan Safran Foer
SEGMENTS: The WØRD: Faux ‘N’ Tell
VIDEOS: Monday, February 8, 2010

There were two things I was really disappointed about in the Super Bowl this year. The first is that there weren’t any seriously memorable ads. And secondly, all of the commercials were on Hulu before the game even started. What’s the fun in that?! The enjoyment of the Superbowl ads is that they are one of the rare communal experiences we as a society have any more. That being said, I actually enjoyed the game for once, and that’s got to be some kind of first.

You know, every time I think that Sarah Palin can’t get any stupider, she manages to prove me wrong. The “retard” comment controversy is positively surreal in its stupidity. I found the Jonathan Safran Foer interview to be rather interesting. I’ve eaten pretty much every way you can eat from macrobiotic to Atkins diet. Right now I’m one of those people that eats meat but feels vaguely guilty about it. However, I do have respect for people who don’t eat meat due to their own personal convictions.

What did all of you think about the show tonight?

Stephen Colbert has a thumb

  • I was sure this would be the year that there would be squirrels in a farting contest to sell Doritos. Instead, my director Jimmy cleaned me out on beaver playing fiddle and soaking with blonde in hot tub to sell Monster.com. It’s like I always say, nothing sells like implied beastiality.
  • In Toyota’s defense, their slogan is “moving forward”. They don’t say anything about stopping.
  • Yes! When will Obama get it? We are at war … with Nigeria. Or Yemen. Or Underwear. [The Boxer Rebellion].
  • Behind all the laughter, the senator is making a very serious point about the FBI. They are terrible at finding out the truth. Even their most famous agents, Mulder and Scully never found the truth out there. Or in each other’s full ripe lips. [Or Abducted Each Other's Pants]
  • We could have found out how many fingers he had!
  • No taxation without representation, but there is a two-drink minimum.
  • Palin 2012: Abandon All Hope That Anything Will Ever Change
  • Writing notes on your hand shows that she’s an average Jane, not like those elites and their “memory”.
  • It’s so subtle, you see. So many layers.
  • And Sarah Palin knows it’s okay to call someone a retard if, like Rush, you clearly don’t mean it. Which is why we should all come to her defense and say Sarah Palin is a f**king retard! You see? It’s satire! This also explains the note in her other hand: “Retard = Sometimes Funny”
  • Walk me through it, bum me out, ruin my next meal.
  • So turkey’s can’t “do it”? Really? Their drumlettes are too big?
  • You can really taste the suffering!

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