Episode 6020 (2/4/2010)

EPISODE NUMBER: 6020 (February 4, 2010)
GUESTS: Henry Louis Gates
SEGMENTS: Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger, Formidable Opponent
VIDEOS: Thursday, February 4, 2010

Being the Woopra site stat addict that I am, I shudder to wonder what bizarre search hits I’m going to get for listing Stephen Colbert’s Pussy Patrol in this episode guide tonight. I really enjoyed today’s Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger. UrbanDictionary.com’s definition of “Canada’s History” is not for the faint of heart. It’s quickly turning into the Colbert Nation’s version of “The Aristocrat”. Which is also not for the faint of heart, but worth it to see Bob Saget’s rendition of the joke.

Next to Cheating Death, Formidable Opponent is my favorite recurring segment on the ‘Colbert Report’. I love seeing the logic loops and turns that Blue Stephen inflicts onto Red Stephen. I also adored Stephen’s Gregory Peck impression, and his red suspenders. I also really like that they rarely wrap up the solution in a tight little bow. It’s a very thought provoking segment every time, and I usually watch it multiple times just to absorb it all and to think about the questions asked.

I know I’ve mentioned it a dozen times, but I am seriously looking forward to the ‘Faces of America’ show on PBS. And Henry Louis Gates is a bit of a spitfire. It cracked me up every time that Stephen called him “Skip”. It’s always such a treat to see a guest come on that has such an obvious background with Stephen, and to see that person fight back in a way that makes it hard for “Stephen” to respond.

What did you all enjoy about tonight’s episode?

• You know I’ve made no secret of this, folks, I have always been against gays in the military. If they are allowed in, how will I know what Uncle Sam really means by “I Want You”. It would be the first time a guy with a goatee and a top hat tried that on me.
• In fact, if two hermaphrodites do it, that’s double-straight as long as they’re putting Tab A into Slot B. If not, it’s double-gay.
• Okay, it worked in 30-35 seconds. which means you could unravel Al Quaida’s master plan quicker than you could microwave a frozen burrito.
• You know, it was just office water cooler talk after the water cooler had been poured over Zubaydah’s face.
• Oh, come on ‘The Beaver’! You changed the name just because your search engine thinks it’s porn? You don’t see me renaming the site for my van service that picks up stray cats, Pussy Patrol. It’s PussyPatrol.org by the way, it’s very important, it’s non-profit.
• Apparently Canadians don’t know that in America, the term “Canada’s History” is a euphamism for a sex act so depraved I can’t describe it on TV. Let’s just say it involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
• Putting everything in there, by the way, is the hardest part of performing “Canada’s History”.
• Stephen: That’s why we should hold a tribunal in the basement of Gitmo right next to the “Aquatic Center”.
  Stephen: You mean the waterboarding room?
  Stephen: [nods head 'Yes'] No.
• Stephen: Oh, so you think he could be found innocent?
  Stephen: No! We’re going to fry him like a battered shrimp!
• Atticus Finch! Stephen’s doing his Gregory Peck!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
• Henry Louis Gates: I have done African American Lives, African American Lives II, Oprah’s Roots, and Faces of America, and you, Stephen, are the whitest man I have ever tested.
• So I have a cousin who’s a sistah.
• So I’m royalty and I’m good at accents.

• Episode 6040 (3/18/2010)
• Episode 6039 (3/17/2010)
• Episode 6038 (3/16/2010)
• Episode 6037 (3/15/2010)