Episode 6011 (1/20/2010)
By
EPISODE NUMBER: 6011 (January 20, 2010)
GUESTS: Dick Ebersol
SEGMENTS: Stephen Colbert’s Skate Expectations: Kicking Ice and Taking Donations on the Slippery Slope Down the Icy Path to the Frozen Road Up to Vancouver ‘010 – Shani Davis Showdown
VIDEOS: Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Can I just quickly say that I adored the return of “The Ass Sac Smut” anagram? I think it’s fantastic that Stephen *finally* made the US Olympic Team as the Assistant Sports Psychologist for the US Speedskating team. Yay Stephen!
I wasn’t really sure what to expect in this interview. Despite Dick Ebersol’s extreme fight to suck up to Stephen as smarmily as possible, I found it to be a very good segment. The potshot Stephen took at Ebersol about the Tonight Show and NBC, and asking for a response was the line we were waiting on since we heard that Ebersol was going to be on the show, and Stephen didn’t disappoint. Having Stephen being welcomed as part of the NBC news team with Stephen’s exclamation of “I feel like actual press” was just adorable (as was that sweater vest). And it was very special to see the real Stephen appear just for a moment in the interview to talk about racing with Shani Davis. Even Stephen’s “Thanks, Mom” comment was unexpected and delightful. I think what made the interview so great was that somehow Ebersol managed to pull out so many different elements of Stephen’s personality.
What did you all enjoy most about the episode? And did Stephen’s skating outfit, complete with poofy shirt, make you all snicker as much as it did me?
- It was Morning in America, the Boston Tea Party, the Battle of Gettysburg and the all-you-can-eat wing night at Chili’s rolled up into one.
- The best part of this, folks, is that Senate republicans now have an unstoppable 41 seat super minority. Up until now, the only super Minority Republicans had seen was Aguaman.
- No, no, you’re insurance doesn’t cover it.
- It’s gotten so bad that NBC’s saving money on the olympic torch by just setting fire to Conan O’Brien. Or that could be his hair, it’s hard to tell.
- If we get to $200 million, I am confident Bob Costas will be holding interviews with the Colbert Nation logo tattooed on his forehead. Or, if we raise a little bit more, maybe a tramp stamp. I’m going to have to check that out when I’m in Vancouver.
- Sponsored by Dr Pepper – It will get you laid.
- Shani Vs Stephen: Faceoff on Ice. But not the hockey kind. We’ll come up with another name.
- Shani Vs Stephen: Fire On Ice. But not actual fire. You’ll see.
- So first, he got a cape. Because what Stephen lacked in speed, dedication and athletic ability he was determined to make up in style.
- Let me ask you this, is Shani Davis wearing sequins.
- Whoo! Eat it, lifetime of dedication!
- It just goes to show that if you put your mind to it, there is nothing that you and $300,000 of other people’s money can’t achieve.
- Do you have a title in mind? Because I kind of like the host of the Tonight Show. It’s like next week there’s going to be no pope, you know? When is the smoke going to come out of NBC to let us know what is going on?
- Alright, thanks Mom.
- I feel like actual press. That’s never happened before.
- Absolutely, and I’ll show him my tramp stamp. And let’s just say it’s something like a peacock.
- Truth be told, I had a 1400 foot head start, in a 1600 foot race. And he smoked me like a Virginia ham. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It was like watching a cheetah on skates.
- Mine is called the Panicky Flail. And not everyone can do that.
- Show him how much we’ve raised for NBC [ding ding ding] … $1.89! Please accept this on behalf of the Colbert Nation. Veronica doesn’t come with the check, Dick.
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43 Comments
January 21st, 2010 at 8:57 am
There are going to be so many awesome shows to pick through for emmy season. Stephen will without a doubt bring at least one home.
I loved the “definitely wasn’t expecting that” comment when the crowd sorta cheered for Brown. With regard to that senate race–I really wouldn’t have wanted to vote for the Dem either. She seemed like she was an inside the beltway candidate and was way out of touch with just reality.
The Conan as the Olympic torch was nice to see–good tribute to Coco.
Shani Davis really seems like he’s a good guy. He just seems a little shy, and I can see why the press would want to portray him as an ass. People who are introverts can come off that way–I know this cause I am an introvert and people call me an ass all the time :)
Dick would love to get Colbert in 2012 for the Tonight Show…but I don’t think Stephen would want to do that to Conan.
Loved the Thanks mom. Stephen seemed sorta shocked that he was really asked to be on the team. I woulda thought he would of had an idea.
As for Dick—even Letterman said that he’s a very pleasant guy (before he attacked letterman last week).
What a great show!
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:02 am
Oh yeah–I remember yesterday I talked about IAAASCY. I was listening through it some and I got to a part (in the audiobook) that is a hidden message. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it before now.
He says: “All hail satan” in chapter 2-old people at mark 1:15. But you have to play 1:15-1:17 in reverse to hear it properly.
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January 21st, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Good Lord! How did you discover that?
reCAPTCHA: allstate Council
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January 21st, 2010 at 6:51 pm
I believe it’s also written backwards in the book in that same section.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:30 pm
I don’t have the book with me..so I can’t really confirm that.
But how I found it was that I was just listening more closely than I have previously. He was talking about how they don’t like buying special collectors copies no matter what kind of rare bizarre coded message appears in the first edition then it makes a weird sound. I never noticed that before.
I put the track into audacity (sound editing tool) and clipped out that 2 seconds or so and reversed it and was laughing my ass off. It was funny to me that I never noticed it before.
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:18 am
DB’s right; it is written backwards in the book. But in the book, instead of “All hail Satan,” it says “Drink of my blood, Dear Satan.”
I’ve heard the audiobook so many times but have never been able to figure out what he really says, so thanks for figuring that out! :]
January 21st, 2010 at 9:06 am
did anyone else squee at the adorableness that is babystephen? i don’t think ive ever seen the second baby pic they showed…
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:26 am
yes
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January 21st, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I squeeed
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Yes! That was my favorite mini-segment! I’d never seen either!
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January 23rd, 2010 at 2:59 pm
squeed myself silly!
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:20 am
I woke up early this morning so I could watch this episode before work. I really wanted to see Stephen race Shani Davis. It was so good, I watched that segment several times. Everything about it was perfect: the introduction, the outfit, Stephen’s “panicky flail,” and watching Shani Davis do what he does best.
The Olympics are going to be amazing this year. It sounds like Stephen will be everywhere since he’s now an official member of the US speedskating team and a member of the press too. I can’t wait!
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:11 am
Great episode. I appreciate how he brought up the Tonight Show to Ebersole.
It is understandable that his interaction with Dick brought out many sides of Stephen [as DB pointed out] because I am sure Stephen has many thoughts concerning Ebersole and NBC. There is that tension between the sports sector: access at the Olympics, Costas’ tramp stamp and the late night sector: NBC’s treatment of Conan- one of Stephen’s colleagues, someone I think he genuinely respects.
I wouldn’t have wanted to be in that position! Stephen, of course, walked that tightrope spectacularly! And, he looks like an honest to goodness sports reporter in that vest! Adorable.
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:30 am
I just have one thing to say.
Stephen in spandex. Please let it never end.
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:43 am
stephen owes shani davis a signed sports illustrated (just sayin)
wow i loved this episode.
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:49 am
I’m so glad everyone loved this episode. Shani did so great and was exactly himself. I think the “feud” is officially over (even though it really wasn’t much of a feud to begin with). Can’t wait to see what he comes up with at the Olympics!
US Speedskating on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/USSpeedskating
on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/USSpeedskating
on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/USSpeedskating
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January 21st, 2010 at 4:53 pm
You guys and girls at US speedskating rock. The organization is a class act, I appreciate that.
Have fun up north, and bring home some gold :)
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January 21st, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Hey thanks, Roland. As part of the social media team, I’m having a blast with the Colbert Nation sponsorship. I love reading blogs like this and seeing Tweets about the skaters. There’s definitely been a lot more excitement than if DSB Bank was still the sponsor!
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January 21st, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Thank you for the links, Libby.
I’m sorry the US speed skating team had to go through the loss of a major sponsor but, in the long run, it seems to have worked out well for the team, Stephen Colbert, and the Colbert Nation. I am so proud that we all pulled together and donated the necessary funds to make it happen.
The Colbert Nation is a loyal (and fun) bunch of people! I imagine the excitement about the Olympics and interest in the skaters is going to continue to build for awhile.
January 21st, 2010 at 7:43 pm
I hope the excitement around the team allows the team to find a long-term committed partner. 1.2M is a little to steep for us, but I think the US Speedskating did quite a remarkable thing by teaming up with Colbert Nation.
Best of luck to the team and I’m sure we will all be watching ya’ll for years to come!
January 21st, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Jenny – I agree, I’m so proud that over $300,000 was raised in such a short amount of time. Stephen remarked that without your donations, the team would be skating “on butter knives duct taped to Chuck Taylors.” :) I’m not sure it would have been quite THAT bad, but it would have been really rough. The skaters need to focus on competing, not on how they’ll pay for it.
Roland – I totally agree that the excitement around the Colbert Nation sponsorship has given the athletes a much-needed publicity boost. Who knows? The speedskaters that compete in 2022 and beyond might be the kids of current Nation-ers who are just now discovering the sport and getting involved!
January 21st, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Libby–Well then perhaps butter knives, duct tape, or chuck taylors will want to sponsor the team! =D
January 21st, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Shani Davis seems like a nice guy and I’m glad the “feud” is over as well, funny as it was. Speedskating is one of my favorite events in the Winter games and I’m really looking forward to watching next month. Good luck to you all!
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January 21st, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Thanks Michele! (Insert shameless plug for our Facebook/Twitter/Youtube here :)
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January 21st, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Ha ha! I just became a fan on Facebook. :-)
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:26 am
I became a fan on facebook about a week or so ago, and it’s been another great tool to stay in touch with Speedskating news. I am so, so happy that Stephen, the Colbert Nation, and the Speedskating team were able to come together so wonderfully. It’s made for some great entertainment to say the least, and it’s made me super excited for Vancouver! Much luck to the team!
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January 21st, 2010 at 12:43 pm
I loved the whole race segment, including the baby Stephen photos. And yes, that Ebersol segment was so awkward (could he have tried to flatter Stephen a little more?) but Stephen really handled it well, making reference to the Tonight show disaster yet replying quickly with (I was) “drunk” (seven months ago) when Ebersol tried to attack Conan and flatter Stephen in response. I imagine that Viacom and NBC may have already reached some kind of agreement some time ago for Stephen to broadcast from Vancouver, so I think he handled this unfortunate situation as well as possible. Right on with the embarrassing big check for NBC!
And I loved the assistant sports psychologist title! I suspect Stephen and his writers may have come up with it. Can’t wait to see that play out.
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January 21st, 2010 at 2:08 pm
I voted Ebersol interview, I think that was nothing short of a miracle how Stephen handled that interview. He got some laughs out of an incredibly awkward and conflicting situation. He referenced the NBC late-night disaster and zinged Ebersol with the giant check while simultaneously promoting the NBC winter olympics. This segment needs a little more love in the voting, IMO.
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January 21st, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Wow, the Dick Ebersol interview. I guess I’m not the only one who got the impression that NBC losing $200M on the Olympics made Ebersol desperate for as many Olympics viewers as possible. He had his entire pitch laid out like a schoolteacher — “And then you’ll come on the broadcast with Bob Costas and do a report on speedskating…” For the degree of compliment that Ebersol was intending to convey toward Colbert, the offer still came off as a dubious suckup-for-his-own-NBC-interests.
Trying to find out if speed-skating is the fastest a human can go “on foot” using only the power of human locomotion (about 30 mph). That’s darn fast. I always liked watching speed-skating as a kid; the way they swung one arm with the other behind their back and were able to cross their legs in the strides making the turns seemed really cool. :)
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January 21st, 2010 at 3:11 pm
The entire show was wonderful. I voted for the Skate Expectations segment because, well, you know, spandex, panicky flailing, the coolness that is Shani Davis. The entire thing was just great! (Need to watch it again).
In a very close 2nd place is the Dick Ebersol interview. That vest! The check! Stephen gets to be a reporter for real! It was one of the best interviews. Especially since it’s so timely with the Olympics *and* the kerfuffle over the Tonight Show.
Awesome show. Oh, one other thing: does anyone else love listening to Stephen’s voice doing the narration for his away segments? It’s just so perfect.
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January 22nd, 2010 at 12:31 am
“…does anyone else love listening to Stephen’s voice doing the narration for his away segments?”
Oh, I definitely do! Sometimes he just gets so into the segment he’s narrating, it’s hilarious. Whenever he does one, I get reminded of the segments he used to do for TDS where he would exaggerate his voice for dramatic effect, lol.
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January 21st, 2010 at 6:24 pm
As much as I loved the Skate Expectations segment, I just had to vote for the Dick Ebersol interview. The way Stephen handled it was simply amazing.
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Who’s Veronica? Dick Ebersol seemed to recognize the woman presenting the check. Haha!
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:49 pm
I just noticed those weird gold things at the tops of the star columns that look like alien heads. What on earth are those things? Is it just a design? Am I losing my mind?
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:10 pm
http://i47.tinypic.com/wu3srm.jpg
I believe they are bronze stars.
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:57 pm
yipes*double post!*
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:57 pm
A moment I liked — Stephen yelling into phone “Go!”, flinging phone away, and clacking off, ie sound of blade against ice, clack-clack-clack-clack *squeak*
lol, I dunno why I find that funny. ah, sound editing. *sigh*
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January 23rd, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Loved the squeaky skating!
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January 21st, 2010 at 11:06 pm
I laughed so hard at the skating segment last night that my stomach hurt. From the outfit to the banter to just seeing Shani kick Stephen’s butt on the oval, the whole thing was hilarious! I love how they basically made Stephen the waterboy of the US Speedskating team but with a fancier title, lol. HUGE tip of the hat to Shani Davis for being a good sport afterall. He and Stephen played really well off each other throughout the whole thing. Quite possibly the funniest line of the whole bit was Stephen’s, “Whoo! Eat it, lifetime of dedication!” Haha!
I really enjoyed the Dick Ebersol interview. I was just sitting there waiting for Stephen to mention something about The Tonight Show and when he gave that little jab, I cheered. I loved out-of-character Stephen talking about racing Shani Davis – you could tell how much he enjoyed the whole experience. Stephen presenting Ebersol with a big check for $1.89 was great, too, and it was nice that Ebersol was a good sport about the whole thing. And that sweater vest was just adorable. Here’s hoping he wears that in Vancouver! :]
I can’t even look at that screencap without laughing. That outfit is just ridiculous – there truly is nothing he wouldn’t wear for a joke. :P
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January 21st, 2010 at 11:10 pm
By the way, I checked eBay, and the interview table is currently going for $8,100. Which means, technically, it’s going for $16,200 since AT&T is matching the donation. Way to go, Nation! :)
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January 22nd, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I loved the skating segments, both from this show and the last one, so hilarious. I have never seen someone skate that bad – I didn’t even know you could make skates squeak on ice like that! I don’t think I’ve ever been that bad, even when I was learning it. But of course, I’m Dutch, so that probably explains a lot. In fact, so many people can skate in this country that you could probably acquire the skill through osmosis if you spent enough time here.
My favorite moment of the episode though has to be that moment in the interview when we saw a bit of the real Stephen shine through as he was talking about his race with Shani Davis.
reCaptcha: covens SAM (Sammy Davis!)
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January 23rd, 2010 at 11:29 am
Ohhhhhh. I could only see the shadow. Thanks!
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January 23rd, 2010 at 11:30 am
oops, that was meant as a reply to the bronze star picture, sorry.
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