Four Horsemen of the Apopcalypse – Pop culture references in The Colbert Report: January 11-14, 2010

Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).

Hey Zoners!   What a magnificent week. Cheating Death! The fantastic reimagining of It’s A Wonderful Life! Wednesday’s epic Sport Report character break! Desk-licking! Philip Glass! Morgan Freeman! Whew, I’m all dizzy just thinking about it.  Lots of fun links this week – what were your favorite bits? (** = TCR/TDS link)

Monday:  Harry Reid’s Racist Comment & Morgan Freeman

“It is shameful that Harry Reid cynically thinks Americans are more likely to vote for a light skinned African American who talks like a professor than, say, Lil Jon. Oh, and I suppose Obama’s not supposed to drink his crunk juice, either.”

Lil Jon (formerly of Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz) is a rapper, producer, and purveyor of crunk music (e.g. Usher’s “Yeah”, featuring Lil Jon – or even better, this hilarious, NSFW, Lil Jon/LazyTown mashup). What, did someone say “What a great excuse to **watch Stephen rapping?  **With Alicia Keys?” Why yes, I did, thanks. (h/t Ms I and DB)

“My guest tonight can finally check me off his bucket list.”

Ever classy, ever versatile, Morgan Freeman starred opposite Jack Nicholson in 2007’s The Bucket List, in which two men dying of cancer take a road trip to fulfill their list of things to do before they die (kick the bucket).

Tuesday: We Are at War – Philip Glass & Cheating Death

“Plus, there are so many more important stories, like the serious situation developing on the Jersey Shore.”

Here’s a great example of why reality television can make us feel so much smarter in comparison: MTV’s Jersey Shore, which follows a group of Italian-American 20-somethings spending summer vacation in a New Jersey beach house.  High class entertainment, to be sure.

“Once again, folks, evidently it falls to me to show the president how to give the speech that we are evidently demanding, a speech that is both repetitious and groundbreaking. Ladies and gentlemen, Philip Glass”

Can I just say that I’m terribly impressed that Philip Glass was on the show, and such an it-getter? Glass is considered one of the most influential contemporary composers, with an inimitable style based in repetitive structures.  Among his more accessible and well-known works are the scores he wrote for the astonishing Quatsi trilogy (the first film, Koyaanisquatsi, can be seen in full here).

“Now, due to a pending patent, I cannot tell you the active ingredient, but let’s just say it also allows you to dangle from a beam by your hard hat.”

Hee, I remember how perplexing I found this commercial for Krazy Glue (cyanoacrylate). It’s useful for fixing broken cups? Mending shoes?  Sure. But suspending a construction worker from an I-beam by his hard hat?  Call me krazy, but I never had a need.

Wednesday:   Game Change Gossip & Sport Report

“The black guy is your caddy who inspires you with proverbs until you win the golf championship and then disappears in the mists.”

Robert Redford’s 2000 film The Legend of Bagger Vance (based on a book by Steven Pressfield) starred Will Smith as Bagger Vance, a caddy with a philosophical bent who coaches a washed-up golf prodigy (played by Matt Damon) back to success in golf and love, and then disappears as mysteriously as he arrived.  Quite apart from being, as I recall, overlong and somewhat dull, the film has been criticized for perpetuating the trope of the “magical negro”.

“That’s why Bonds‘ steroids will be the first inducted into the Performance Enhancing Hall of Fame, where they’ll be joined by Sammy Sosa’s alleged HGH, Roger Clemens‘ reported anabolics, and Honus Wagner’s well-documented use of ground up Chinamen.”

The last decade has seen a rise in concern over the prevalence of performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball, with repeating waves of speculation and denials among some of the highest profile players  In 2005, Congress even got involved, initiating hearings on the issue (the so-called BALCO scandal, named after a “nutrition center” accused of distributing steroids to players).  Stephen’s always been in favor of juicing; he stood up for Clemens during the hearings **and ewww, Stephen keeps medical waste mementos from his time  at The Daily Show.  Poor, innocent Honus Wagner must be a favorite for his name, rich with comic potential; he’s already been a side effect for Prescott Pharmaceutical’s Fulcrum (**Cheating Death – Sexual Health – one of my favorites!).

• Four Horsemen of the Apopcalypse – Pop culture references in The Colbert Report: March 15-18, 2010
• Four Horsemen of the Apopcalypse – Pop culture references in The Colbert Report: March 8-11, 2010
• Four Horsemen of the Apopcalypse – Pop culture references in The Colbert Report: March 1-4, 2010
• Four Horsemen of the Apopcalypse – Pop culture references in The Colbert Report: February 8-11, 2010