Episode 6005 (1/11/2010)

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6005 (January 11, 2010)
GUESTS: Eugene Jarecki, Morgan Freeman
SEGMENTS: Harry Reid’s “Negro” problem, Colbert Platinum
VIDEOS: Monday, January 11, 2010

First, I would like to give the people over at ColbertNation.com a big bear hug for getting the show clips in beautiful high definition. They look fantastic, excellent job Team Colbert Nation! I was able to cap straight from the clips, which means that I don’t have to wait until the full eps go up before I finish the guide in the morning. Huzzah! I just love shiny happy HD. It warms the cockles of my heart, it really does.

I have been watching the Move your Money campaign at Huffington Post very carefully. The hubby and I have two bank accounts – one at a credit union, one at Wells Fargo. They each have their plusses and minuses, but overall, we tend to like the credit union much better. And the only thing that Wells Fargo has going for it is convenience. But man, is it convenient. And since all I do is a simple checking and savings, it’s difficult to tear myself away from such convenience. I found it interesting that while it seemed as if Stephen really did support the Move your Money movement, “Stephen” also managed to get in quite a few nails in, which surprised me. I always find the show much more entertaining when Stephen and “Stephen” blur like that, and it’s hard to figure out what is real, what is character, and what is character speaking for actual Stephen.

Morgan Freeman is a hoot. I have always respected him as an actor, and have heard very good things about his most recent movie. I thought he tried a bit hard with the interview, but he made up for it by saying untrustworthy things in a trustworthy voice at the end. And I loved how Stephen slipped in a commentary about the Conan debacle by having Morgan Freeman read it.

What did you all enjoy about the show today?

  • Right off the top here, I just want to say negro. Negro, negro, negro, negro, negro, negro, negro, negro, negro, negro. You know there are some words you say over and over again and they lose their meaning? This is not one of them.
  • Now folks, I don’t see race. People tell me Obama is a black man, and I believe them because I am afraid of him.
  • Oh, and I suppose Obama’s not supposed to drink his crunk juice either.
  • When I say Ne, you say Gro, Ne … [GRO!] Ne … [GRO!] Jay the intern … [negro] Morgan Freeman [nods head “No”] Maybe later.
  • By all means, trust your savings to a suicidal manic-depressive who talks to angels.
  • MoveYourMoney.info
  • Where should crazy sociopaths put their money?
  • So wouldn’t this be a great year to visit your lonely, frail unhealthy uncle?
  • I’m no fan of higher education, but I do believe in excluding people.
  • Yes, it’s a bit gruesome, but you should have seen where they put the ballots before the guy died.
  • Conan – the 11:30 slot? Yours.


  1. I absolutely loved the random way Stephen was throwing little digs at NBC. It’s good to see Stephen supports Team Conan. I wonder if the invisible strings from the string dance are still up on the shelf?

  2. cordgrass says:

    That It’s A Wonderful Life thing was so good! Whoever edited that did an outstanding job, it was hilarious.

  3. I was wondering how and if Stephen and his writers would comment on the craziness that is NBC Late Night right now. Having Morgan Freeman say 11:30 is Conan’s makes it true, right?! :)

    I also got a huge laugh out of the seemless transition of the banker Potter to the wizard Potter!

    • lockhart43 says:

      “Having Morgan Freeman say 11:30 is Conan’s makes it true, right?!”

      God, I hope so. I wish all it took for something to be true was for Morgan Freeman to say it. Our world would be so much better. haha :P

    • “…transition of the banker Potter to the wizard Potter”
      Oh, man! I must have sat in a workshop too long today – that joke whooshed right past me… kind of like the Golden Snitch!

      Favorite line: “Conan – the 11:30 slot? Yours.”

      Morgan Freeman lifts his eyebrow in disdain almost as high as Stephen can!
      Seriously, though – the opening segment was one of those times where I’m nearly breathless at what Stephen gets away with saying through “Stephen.”

  4. God it was SO hard to vote today! Love Platinum and enjoyed the interview but NEGRO wins!


  5. I voted for the Morgan Freeman segment because it was fun (Freeman played along as if he’d been on the show before) and the priceless NBC dig/support for Conan was just perfect. Right on Stephen.

  6. my favorite part was when Morgan Freeman started to tell the story about Nelson Mandela and then said he was tired of saying it! where else could he say that besides the Report?!

  7. lockhart43 says:

    That opening segment was absolutely brilliant! I love that he got Morgan Freeman in on it, too. That was definitely my favorite part of the episode. Stephen’s balls must be made of steel. :]

    I loved both of the comments regarding the NBC fiasco. The little one he slid into the beginning of the show about Stephen’s “It’s a Wonderful Life” video being a great idea for a show at 10pm on weeknights was fantastic.
    I love everything Morgan Freeman does, and the interview last night was no exception :). It was cute how into the interview Stephen got when he asked Freeman about the first time he met Nelson Mandela.

    • cordgrass says:

      I wonder if someone on Stephen’s staff saw The Believer. Phenomenal movie, and that line was sort of lifted from it.

      • Which line was that?

        (ReCAPTCHA: brewing Nuclear – describes the NBC fiasco quite accurately, I believe.)

        • cordgrass says:

          (after saying “jew” a bunch of times)

          J-E-W… Jew! You say it a million times, it’s the one word that never loses its meaning.

  8. Here’s a crazy idea—perhaps a credit union could become national and serve as one of our national treasures. BoA wasn’t huge until it got huge, and I’m sure some credit unions could bundle up together and get the capital needed to do this.

    BTW, Chuck was great last night :)

  9. The move your money campaign is interesting, but I think Eugene Jarecki really dodged the question about whether local banks are really local (boy, tonight was the night for disapointing responses – John Yoo, now this). That’s what I like about Stephen – he may be “liberal”, but he’s not as biased you would think; he can get the nails in.

  10. SusieBlack says:

    I’m so happy to see Colbert feature the Move your Money campaign. I moved my money last fall to a credit union and absolutely love it. The “local” bank I was at charged $35 for overdrafts despite my having a large savings account, paid a pittance in interest, and then I learned had taken $58 million from the TARP program while admitting they didn’t really need it, they just wanted to play with the money for a while. Oh, the name is Trustmark National Bank.

    When the credit union made a profit last year, they distributed it among the members based on your deposit percentage, no bank could even think about doing that. It was a nice little Christmas bonus. It’s a member of CU24 and other credit union data networks, so I can use an ATM nationwide with NO fees. With Direct Deposit and their internet banking site, it’s quite convenient. I will never use a bank again.

    Colbert was pretty excited about setting up a bank, but a Colbert Nation Federal Credit Union would be easier, after obtaining a charter, I’ve been told it is not that difficult to set up. I would love to have a gorgeous, shiny, new Colbert Nation debit card.

  11. SusieBlack says:

    Almost forgot, I loved Morgan Freeman, wished there would have been time to mention his business ventures, including a bio-fuel facility. He and his business partner are doing great things in his home state of Mississippi.

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