Time Warner Cable can gargle my mansack
By
I live in Dallas, Texas. I live in a high rise loft complex, and the only cable option I have is Time Warner Cable. Living on the 10th floor is not conducive to, say, hanging a dish out my window.
You may remember that when I got to meet Stephen Colbert in October, 2008, my audience question was “When are you going to be broadcasting in high def?” (His answer: “I gotta get some work done first, honey.”) This is something that has been on my mind for a *long* time. As soon as Stephen Colbert started hinting about the HD conversion of the show, I knew that the switch was imminent. I started a quiet campaign, both as a customer and as a webmaster, to find out the scoop about when I would be getting Comedy Central HD on my Time Warner Cable. I have a ton of other HD channels, but this particular one is rather near and dear to my heart, as you might imagine. We even sprung for a 42″ flatscreen in anticipation of this conversion.
I tried contacting anyone I thought might have an answer – Comedy Central media relations, Time Warner, both local and national (multiple times), and couldn’t find anyone who might know when Time Warner Cable, specifically the Dallas area, would be carrying Comedy Central HD. I finally sent an e-mail to an executive e-mail address I got from one of my very favorite blogs, The Consumerist. This is the response I got this morning:
Thank you for writing. You have reached Time Warner Cable’s Office of the President. Time Warner Cable does not currently offer Comedy Central HD in your market area at the present time. Unfortunately, we would not be able to provide you with a time frame of when this channel may be available. Time Warner Cable keeps a constant communication in regards to contract agreements that would allow us to display stations on our network. Until a contract is agreed upon, these stations would not be available. Once there is an agreement, notification is usually sent out to our customers indicating the addition of the channel.
Regards,
John Orzolick
Customer Care Advocate
Time Warner Cable Corporate Office
Do you know what that means, kiddos? That means that the webmaster of the friggin’ LARGEST STEPHEN COLBERT SITE ON THE FRIGGIN’ WEB doesn’t get to watch the show in HD when it comes out on January 4, 2010. And, much more importantly, neither do a hell of a lot of other Time Warner Cable customers who also happen to be members of the Colbert Nation.
I know this is more of a personal rant than anything, but I’m cranky. Dammit. I also know that we have a lot of readers who are not in the US who can’t even get the show on their television. For that I do feel fortunate – that I have the money for cable, and the access to the ‘Colbert Report’ on my regular channel. Not all Colbert fans have that. But still, to know it’s out there and to not be able to get it is just irksome.
And just because I’m in a poll type of mood, please give some feedback in the poll below and the comments.
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35 Comments
December 18th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I agree! You go girl! :-)
John P.
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December 18th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I think I have Comedy Central available in high def here, but I can’t afford (a) a TV that can show it and (b) HD service.
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December 18th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
DB, I hope you won’t mind a long post, but I just had an online chat with Time Warner Cable in New York, who gave me a similar answer, which came down to: We don’t know but we’ll let you know. Here’s what happened:
(me)
I am wondering when you will be carrying Comedy Central in HD in Time Warner Southern Manhattan Digital. I am hoping to see The Colbert Report in HD when they upgrade in January. Will this be coming soon? Thank you.
(them)
At this time, we do not provide that channel since we have no contract with this network yet.
(me)
Why is there no contract?
(them)
At the moment we get the channel in our services we will be glad to notify you.
(me)
You are showing the channel in standard definition though, what is the difference?
(them)
We update our contracts every year.
(them)
That is what i mean.
(me)
When is the contract updated?
(them)
Please accept my sincerest apologies.
(me)
I don’t understand your answer, when is the contract updated?
(them)
I do not handle this information, when we get a notification about to broadcast Comedy Central in HD, make sure that we are going to advise you.
(me)
Would you be able to send the information to me at my email address?
(them)
Yes we will do it, anyway, we are going to broadcast the information on our commercials.
(them)
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
(me)
Okay, please let your directors know that there are many people looking forward to the upgrade, including many fans of the Colbert Report. Thank you!
(them)
I will do it, thank you for this.
I know, not very encouraging. I have no idea why a huge corporation like TW has to let their contracts lapse every December 31st! This sounds like another cause for the Nation to unite behind!
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December 18th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I’m with ya! We have TWC but no Comedy Central HD. Lots of HD channels and some new ones recently added, but no CC HD. It appears as though there will be no CC HD in the near future either. I hope this isn’t going to be a repeat of last year’s battle between Viacom and TWC.
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December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
DirectTV for me here out west which is nice since I can see the east coast 11pm/11:30pm feeds at 8pm/8:30pm and then again at 10:30pm/11pm. Otherwise I watch online at the HOME sites, though I do watch a lot of Hulu for other shows. HighDef is cool.
AVATAR on SUNDAY ! MASSIVE!!
merry Christmas
U
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December 18th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
We watch the show via Comcast. We get quite a few HD channels, but not CC (it hasn’t mattered up ’til now).
I cruisded around the ‘net to see whaddup with Comcast, and couldn’t find anything anywhere about Sacramento getting CC in HD. It is coming to other areas, though.
I finally broke down and called a guy. He’s a PR contact for Comcast. He honestly didn’t know, and told me that’s not his area of operations. He did take my numbers, and said he or someone would get back to me with an answer. He asked me if I wanted it to see Jon Stewart. I told him yes, but especially for Stephen Colbert. I have to see him in High Def!
Thanks, DB, for getting me to check now. I hadn’t even thought about it. We watch Rachel in HD, and lots of other things. I guess I just assumed we’d be getting the boys in HD, too!
Good luck with your stupid TWC. What’s the matter with them, anyway? They’d better watch out – we are a Nation!
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December 18th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
If it’s filmed in HD, does that mean the iTunes version will be clearer? I’m happy with it as is, just curious.
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December 19th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I hope so. I also hope that means that Hulu and other online streams will be available in full-screen high-res versions. That would be very, very nice considering that most often I watch the show on Hulu or ColbertNation.com anyway.
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December 18th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Your poll doesn’t have the option CAN’T WATCH IT AT ALL!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sniff*
(in the UK)
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December 18th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
It’s not a perfect solution, but the show is available on iTunes through the UK’s store at the moment.
(And I’m sorry for your hardship.)
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December 18th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Oh, and for the record? “[Insert name here] can gargle my mansack” is incredibly funny! I cracked up when I saw your post about TWC.
Bwahhaha!
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December 18th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I’m with you, “[Insert name here] can gargle my mansack,” made me crack up when Stephen said it!! :P
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December 18th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Yeah. THIS. Last week I did tons of googling for any sane reason why TWC would not carry it, and.. yeah, not so much with the sane.
COME ON, NATION. even those who will get it in HD! Let’s come together and get it for all of us!
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December 18th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I’m with you, DB! I don’t get my Colbert Report on TV, but I don’t see why it can’t be made available in HD to everyone. And that is quite a crazy irony that you, the webmaster of the largest Stephen site around, can’t see the show in premium quality! Absolutely crazy.
Wow, I’m in the majority here – most people get their Stephen via the online machine. =)
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December 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I know, isn’t that a crazy thing?! There was an excellent write up in the NY Times about how to go completely cable free for about a $500 investment: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/10/technology/personaltech/10basics.html?_r=1&em And other than sports, this would be a most excellent option. But the hubby likes to watch his Green Bay Packers games, so I doubt that we would ever be able to do that.
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December 19th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Wow – that article is really interesting! Cable is just soooo much money, and the only thing we would watch would probably be Jon and Stephen. So, I don’t know if it’s worth that money, you know? Haha, yeah, cable is great for the sports fan, I’m sure!
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December 19th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
DB – thank you for that, I didn’t know about Hulu Desktop. I will definitely download it to my netbook next time I’m away from home and Comedy Central!
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December 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
So I suppose that this isn’t a good time to mention that up here in Canada, I can watch The Colbert Report on a CTV HD channel? I assume that when January rolls around and the new episodes begin I’ll wake up in the morning to find last night’s episode recorded in glorious HD.
You should reply to the email and point out that not only is Canada being unsportsmanlike about allocating rink time to the US speedskating team . . . but we also have better HD penetration! Will Time-Warner stand for that? Clearly, it is Time-Warner’s duty as a patriotic American company to bring HD to every household as soon as possible.
Or, you know, you’re all welcome to come up here and watch the Colbert Report in HD.
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December 18th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
The last three weeks of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, I had to watch them online because my cable channel just yanked the two shows and replaced them without warning. The channel’s website isn’t updated either, so I have no idea why they did it or if they’ll bring the shows back.
Lucky I’m still able to access the shows online, not full episodes, though. And here’s hoping everyone eventually gets their late-night fix on HD! :)
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December 19th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I’m from the Philippines, too. I don’t have cable so I resort to downloading torrents, because the official site is choppy and grainy. What was the channel that hosted the shows? Was it Maxxx? Because I was considering on getting cable… until I read your post. =(
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December 19th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Yup, it was Maxxx. Their Multiply site’s not updated, so I was really surprised they pulled the shows. :(
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December 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Oh ok… That’s just sad news. Thanks for the heads up.
December 19th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Gotta get you a Dish, DB.
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December 19th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I can’t – I live on the 10th floor of a historic building. I can’t hang dishes out my window. Meh.
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December 19th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
We are still waiting for HD cable to become available in our area. We have Cox cable and many of the channels we are supposed to receive don’t work at all because we don’t have digital cable. We also need to buy a new TV at some point because the picture goes out a few times a week for 30 or 45 minutes at a time.
I rarely sit in front of the TV to watch anything. I watch TCR, TDS, and The Office on Hulu. I usually watch Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow via podcast from iTunes. I watch them on TV a few times a week at the most. I also watch a lot of movies on my computer.
Sometimes I wonder if we should just get rid of cable all together because they charge a lot of money for crappy service.
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December 19th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
If you are scheduled to have the channel in HD you need to get a new box, but that should be a free service. I wonder how Stephen and Jon will react if no one in the New York area can see them in HD?
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December 20th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Awww…I’m sorry to hear that! =( I hope Time Warner gets their act together soon! I’ve been getting my TCR by dl-ing it through torrentz.com, but I would’ve been dl-ing them even if I was tivo-ing the shows cuz I like to have a copy on my pc to watch at random times when the fancy hits me.
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December 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Update: According to the Time Warner cable website in New York City Comedy Central in HD is coming on January 27!
On or about January 27, 2010 …
In Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens we will launch …Comedy Central HD on ch. 745…
this is new since I last looked so I hope it means an overall change of heart at Time Warner for DB and everyone!
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January 5th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Anyone know when can we expect to see Colbert and Daily Show in HD within Los Angeles on TWC?
send info to mrmortgage at thegreatloan.com
Karma will be returned as a thank you.
Have a prosperous day.
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January 6th, 2010 at 11:44 am
Looks promising:
http://www.foxcitiestv.com/node/1609
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January 7th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
No Colbert or Daily Show high definition in Southern California from Time Warner, either. Out here, one does not even bother calling Time Warner given how useless and brain dead their customer service representatives tend to be. Talking to a wall is more instructive!
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January 25th, 2010 at 1:12 am
Well….TWC in New York was supposed to start Comedy Central in HD this week but it’s not listed. I emailed them and surprisingly got an answer which read in part:
…Although we do not currently provide the programming that you requested, we do keep track of the number of requests received and utilize this information to influence programming changes. Time Warner Cable is always concerned with the programming interests of our subscribers. This programming request will be shared
with our Programming Department….
So maybe we should all keep emailing the cable companies!?
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January 28th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Update: thanks to someone asking me on another board, I checked and TW in New York is showing Comedy Central in HD *right now.*
The other poster said she was getting it in LA. So they seem to be getting it together.
So good luck on getting it soon DB and everyone – maybe the best thing to do is to just flip channels and see if it’s there.
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January 29th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Still nothing in Dallas yet. *harumph*
But yay for you!
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January 29th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Nothing in the Cincinnati area yet either. I second that *harumph*. Although it does look like they are slowly adding it across the country so I’m still hopeful it will happen in my lifetime.
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