Episode 5159 (12/14/2009)

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 5159 (December 14, 2009)
GUESTS: Katherine Reutter, Snoop Dogg
SEGMENTS: Corrugate-gate
VIDEOS: Monday, December 14, 2009

I love it when the show starts with a huge dose of silly, and Cardboard Stephen interviewing Cardboard Obama definitely fits that bill. Don’t forget to check out the Exclusive extended interview with Barack Obama over at ColbertNation.com.

It was so fun to see Katherine Reutter on the show. She was just so perky and happy to be there, and I adore how she got Stephen flustered when she flashed her enormous quads at him. I also think that Stephen’s “tribute” to Shani Davis (and response to his “jerk” comment) was both appropriate as well as hysterical. He could have gone Full Mean, but instead he both honored him and knocked him down a peg. A very small peg, but a peg nonetheless.

I don’t know what it is about Snoop Dogg’s rapping that I love, but I’ve always been appreciative of his talents. His laid back cadence has always made me stop the flipping the dial in the car to enjoy the melodic rhymes. I thought the interview went very well, and I enjoyed Snoop’s liberal use of the Big Red Button (although I was kinda hoping the word “Bees!” would come out of it at some point). I also loved Stephen working the whole Soap Opera scene, complete with soft lighting, and the “baby in your butt” line. That’s a thing of beauty right there.

How did you enjoy tonight’s episode? Also, since I couldn’t decide what I wanted to screencap, I went with two tonight.

Stephen Colbert signs Katherine Reutter's thigh - December 14, 2009

Stephen Colbert - December 14, 2009

  • Nation, a year ago we all loved Barack Obama. But remember, back then we all loved Crocks, too.
  • Of course, I’m a busy man, so I sent a fitting replacement. Jim? [President Obama: The Colbert Interview] I tell you the sparks were really flying there which is dangerous because cardboard is highly flammable.
  • I don’t have to remind you that you are heroes. You’re heroes, by the way.
  • They will bring home the Gold no matter which country wins it.
  • Not healthy associations? The Colbert Name is synonymous with dignity and anyone who doesn’t agree can kiss my 12 inch taint.
  • Hell, you deserve to be on the cover of tomorrow’s edition of Sports Illustrated. Oh, I’m sorry, that position has already been filled by ME! Right there! Yeah, me! I am the Michael Jordan of people who don’t deserve to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
  • It is perfect for everyone on your Christmas list provided they have a head. Sorry, guy from Scanners.
  • Having my name on your thigh, does it actually make you faster?
  • This would be like me making the cover of Sports Illustrated.
  • Guys like Michael Phelps – how easy is it to swim through water? You run on top of water with Samurai swords strapped to your feet.
  • What if I just took off my skate and threw it across the line?
  • I just want to be careful of something. Do you have regular drug testing? Snoop Dogg’s on the show tonight, I want to make sure we’re keeping you on a separate floor from him. I’d hate for you to test positive for Snoop.
  • Honey, I had to do this for the Olympic team!
  • Stephen Colbert: In case you feel some salty talk coming on, just push the button. You understand what I’m saying mother f**ker?
    Snoop Dog: I like that s**t.
  • That is not bad, that is adorable. You have just been adorable.
  • Is it hard to rail against the man when you are the man?
  • Snoop Dog: I am actually under the influence of medical marijuana. Actually a doctor prescribed …
    Stephen Colbert: Was it Dr. Dre? Because he’s very loose with that prescription pad.


  1. Running out to get my copy of SI!
    I love Stephen’s face when she asked him to sign her thigh! His reaction was a little Fonda-esque. Like he was going to hear about it when he got home. So adorable!
    Snoop cracks me up. You could probably get a contact high just being in the studio. The “smoke” while he was performing was made of what I wonder? LOL!
    Great show. Think tonight will be just as great. Big finish before the break.

  2. Delightful show! I hope Stephen gets well soon. I am so loving this speedskating thing, and the Sports Illustrated cover was just so surprising and wonderful! And it’s so gratifying to see members of the Nation interviewed on the show. :)

  3. ColbertGirl27 says:

    OK, I found Katherine Reutter annoyingly perky at times and found the request for Stephen to sign her thigh a bit much…I mean, it seems like something more appropriate in fantasy land than to actually request, but nonetheless, seeing Stephen’s reaction to the request and apologizing to his wife (I had to do it for the Olympics!) was just too sweet for words! Don’t mean to bash Katherine Reutter too hard as I’m proud that she’ll be reprsenting us at the Olympics and can understand her crush on Stephen:) Maybe I’m just subconsciously jealous.

    • She was cute, I’m jealous of Stephen.

    • ColbertGirl27 I give you an “A” for this comment (and, I want you to know, I never was too big on handing out one of these very freely — I’m on full sabbatical at the moment). You’re probably my favorite perky young person here (in the correct sense of the word), a happy and cheerful person, it seems, and I certainly can see how Katherine Reutter’s brand of “perkiness” would be annoying to a class act perky person like you.

    • Don’t you forget, us guys need some eye candy thrown our way at times too! =D

    • That’s kind of how I felt last night watching it, but then I thought hey, if she’s got the lady balls to ask him, more power to her. ;)

    • laughing at nothing says:

      I thought Katherine Reutter asking Stephen to sign her thigh was adorable. Wasn’t she the first to wear the ColbertNation patch on the thigh of her speedskating suit?

      She wasn’t trying to be really sexy (her outfit was appropriate for the occasion) — more an young, athletic, personally-connected fan. With perfectly toned thighs like Katherine’s, what better place for a big signature? X-D

      • She was indeed. She also was the first person to wear the Colbert Nation cap while being presented with a medal!

  4. Haha, what a fun show! I loved each act so much. The signing of her thigh was too funny! Surely Stephen’s real signature should help her sakte faster than just the patch on her thigh. It was also cute seeing Stephen get all flustered or whatever lol. That’s so cool that he’s on the cover of Sport’s Illustrated. I’m definitely going to have to stop at Barnes and Noble after work today to look for that magazine! =)

    Oh yeah, and Stephen’s soap opera smile, right on cue, was perfect and really cute haha.

  5. i could be more jealous of Katherine!!! she is very cool though to ask him to sign her thigh. but i loved how he apologized to his wife. tehe
    this was an amazing episode.
    cant wait for tonight’s!!

  6. I loved the interview with Snoop and the performance! And cardboard Stephen interviewing cardboard Obama was so funny.

  7. i really appreciated the way he treated the Davis incident. shows alot of class, yet has got great humor. good job colbert writers!

  8. I couldn’t choose a favorite segment and I love it when that happens! This one will be saved on the DVR for a while!

  9. looped linear says:

    “I am the Michael Jordan of people who don’t deserve to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.”

    Hahahahaha! He’s so charmingly self-deprecating.

  10. I’ve yet to see the episode but:
    ‘I’m the Michael Jordan of people who don’t deserve to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.’ totally made my night.
    As did the that second pic of Stephen. *sigh* I <3 his smile so much.

    • Having seen the whole episode;
      This episode was so massive! The cardboard!Stephen and cardboard!Obama interview was hysterical.

  11. Oh my, I’m watching the episode online and noticed the tag “sexual advances” for that segment with Katherine Reutter. “Honey, I’m doing it for the Olympics!”

    And I just watched the extended cardboard interview. Fun stuff. :)

  12. I loved Stephen’s reaction when Reutter asked him to sign her thigh. A little flustered, yet laughing and ready to do it without hesitating. I was amused at how long it would take him to realize he could come out from behind the desk to do it.

    I also loved the apology to his wife: “Sorry, honey, I had to do it for the Olympic team!” Sweet and funny, and yet from the look on his face, I don’t think he was really all that sorry. Hee.

    Also, CardboardCutoutStephen interviewing CardboardObama was very, very silly.

    • He also had to do it for his 18-34 demo!

    • bipolypesca says:

      I loved how he was so flustered, he couldn’t figure out what kind of marker he had in his hand.

      • lol yeah, I noticed that he tried to pull the cap off first, then realized it was a retractable pen. And when he was kneeling down to sign her leg his foot slipped off the little platform his desk is on and he nearly lost his balance hah.

        • bipolypesca says:

          Oh, but it was even worse than that! LOL Because first he tried to take the cap off, then he thought he realized it was a retractable pen and he’s pressing the “button” to release it (but it wasn’t; it was a regular Sharpie), and then he’s leaning over the desk about to try to sign with the backend of the pen (wouldn’t have gotten him far!) and it wasn’t until he walked around the desk that he realized, yeah, it really did have a cap, he just needed to pull a little harder…

          All ridiculously small details, but each one, plus the near fall, made me clap my hands together in glee and squee, “Oh, he’s such a dork!”

          …I think I am easily satisfied. ^_^

        • I’m not the only one who noticed and was incredbily amused by that?
          I knew I would love this place.

        • lol ok, I went and re-watched it a few times and it is a retractable sharpie. You can see him successfully press down the button for it as he stands up from his chair. And then when he is kneeling down signing her thigh you can see the long black part of the pen because the button to press down is so long. omg, we’re as dorky as him almost falling off the stage. I love noticing little details like these and how only big fans in Colbert communities actually seem to notice what I notice haha.

  13. It was a wonderful show, from the cardboard cutouts interview (“go to the Colbert Nation for the extended version” was a cute reference to Jon’s longer segments) and then all the Olympic part (he clearly was not expecting that thigh signing request though!) and finally the Snoop segment. Snoop is just never not funny, he really is quite the entertainer. The soap opera part was cute also. Didn’t Stephen use that big button when he had Jim Cramer on and was cueing the “puppies and kittens” films to make people feel better?

    reCaptcha: Steven eyck !

  14. Katherine Reutter = It-getter of the Year

    This was perhaps the best show I’ve seen in a while (which is really saying something), what with Snoop Dog, Sports Illustrated, and the cardboard cutouts.

    • bipolypesca says:

      Katherine Reutter = It-getter of the Year

      Seconded. Also: Luckiest gal EVAH!

      Oh, to be signed by Stephen… Erm, I’ll say no more. ^_^

  15. lockhart43 says:

    I laughed so hard during the cardboard cutout interview – the way the camera kept panning back and forth between Cardboard Obama and Cardboard Stephen to add dramatic effect was hilarious. And how wonderful was the Katherine Reutter interview?! His reaction when she asked him to sign her leg was beyond adorable. The apology to his wife at the end (“Honey, I had to do this for the Olympic team!”) was a nice touch, and it totally made me think of the Jane Fonda interview lol.
    The surrealness of the Snoop Dogg interview is part of the reason why last night’s episode was so great. The fact that Stephen has been able to create this reality where it’s TOTALLY normal that Stephen and Snoop Dogg act out a scene from a soap opera completely adds to my love of both the show and Stephen’s brilliant development of the character. He really is at the top of his game right now. Great, great episode! :)

  16. Caoilfhiann says:

    Although I voted for the Katherine Reutter segment, I loved the Obama interview (actually, loved the entire show). I went over to the Colbert Nation site for the extended interview and was surprised at how intense it became a couple of times. Kudos to director Jim Hoskinson and the editing staff. Did anyone else notice that the cardboard cutout of Stephen had its left arm sawed off and moved to a different position than its original? Does “Stephen” hate Obama so much that they had to break his arm to get him to do the interview? So sad.

  17. mrtigger001 says:

    “Honey! I had to do it for the Olympics!”

    I’m kind of amazed that Reutter is my age and an Olympian. It blows the mind.

    Oh, and building on other people’s comments here, she could win a gold medal for cuteness as well.

  18. What a great, great show! Katherine Reutter was wonderful – just the kind of athlete we want representing us, The Nation, at the Olympics. The whole leg-signing thing was fantastic. I’ll have to watch it again.

    I also enjoyed the interview with Mr. Dogg. Very, very funny stuff, especially the Soap Opera and the big red button. I’m afraid I’m not a big rap fan, but the rest of the show? Brilliant.

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