EPISODE NUMBER: 5157 (December 9, 2009)
GUESTS: Matt Taibbi
SEGMENTS: Monkeys! – Monkey Threat Down, The WØRD: Grand Old Purity, The Blitzkrieg On Grinchitude
VIDEOS: Wednesday, December 9, 2009
As the Christmas break for the ‘Colbert Report’ inches closer and closer, I am getting increasingly concerned about the fact that I don’t know when Time Warner Cable in Dallas will be offering Comedy Central in HD. The rumor mill says that the show will be converting the ‘Colbert Report’ studios to HD technology over this next 3-week break, and dang it, I want to have access to Stephen in HD as soon as it’s available! If there’s any readers who happen to work for Time Warner (or any Time Warner Customer Service execs who Google themselves and stumble upon this blog entry), please let us know as soon as possible so that I can get stupid with glee.
Well, we got through one whole show yesterday before they mentioned feces yet again on the show. Too bad I’m watching the episode on ColbertNation.com, or I’d totally check out that SAP feature. And it was so nice to see a new WØRD segment tonight. And they didn’t even mention poop! They did manage to slip a urine reference into the Blitzkrieg On Grinchitude, however.
Is it wrong for me to have laughed at the “Nice Tits” card as hard as I did? God, sometimes I’m 12. And the Krampus showing up on set is now on my list of Best Surrealist Moments of the ‘Colbert Report’. The look combining horror and amusement on Stephen’s face when the Krampus came out was priceless. I also felt that the Matt Taibbi interview was strong, with a lot of very interesting information. Stephen’s diatribe about Social Security and rolling the dice to say “I’ll be an improv actor” made me laugh out loud.
So did you find the Krampus as silly as I did? What else did you enjoy about the show?
- Researchers are still years away from deciphering the language of Scottish scientists.
- I want to be the first to cater to their tastes, before Sean Hannity presents his swollen buttocks.
- I’ve already added a new audio track to this show. Now, when you press SAP on your remote, you get Simian Audio Programming like this. Tragedy today in Denmark as authorities [monkey sounds] still determining why Ms. Couric climbed the clock tower.
- Threat #2 – Banana too high. Me want banana. But branch no hold monkey. Better check hole in ground. Might have mango.
- And the #1 threat to monkeys – Man in yellow hat.
- Monkeys, be sure to check in next week for Tip of the Hat, Fling of the Feces. Be sure to bring a pancho.
- And you know his prediction will come true because he got it from that old gypsy woman.
- Republicans have not been this excited since Häagen-Dazs released Vanilla Vanilla Swirl.
- Or as I call it, a Terrorist, Nipple Bump.
- They’re just like the Ten Commandments, if one of them said F and the other said U.
- For instance, I’m not a piano prodigy. Sorry sperm bank. [But Did "Tickle His Ivories"]
- You know what they say – your keys are always in the last place you cut open somebody’s stomach to look.
- [Charlie Browned]
- Any candidate from a moderate district who passes the purity test will be dead in the water anyway.
- No green and red paper?! What about Baby Jesus swaddled in tissues?
- Fun fact: That card is also available in the Tiger Woods section and the Barack Obama section.
- What? Appreciation is not a gift! Nation, we have got an economy to save! It is every American’s duty to spend money they don’t have for gifts their loved ones don’t want and cannot return for cash.
- ‘Tis The Season For Giving … Me Half Your Sandwich
- Like they say in Austria, every time a bell rings, a Krampus torments a child with rusty chains.
- God Help Us Every One!
- Goldman Sachs are Satanists who torture animals. Come for me. I don’t believe that, but I want to show I’ve got balls.
- Matt, are they hiring? Because it sounds like a pretty stable job.
As much as i love a good Word, the Monkey Threatdown brought tears to my eyes from laughing. It was just plain silly and i’ve been giggling about it all day. Strong show all around i think, with an interesting guest to boot, and the ending with Stephen in Krampus lap was creepy/cute.
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Fun show! Loved the Monkey Threatdown and the Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude. The Word was excellent! Good interview too. It was sort of a continuation from the interview with Andrew Ross Sorkin on TDS.
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:( Ugh. Three weeks… so not looking forward to that!
But, the word was great, monkey threat down was hilarious
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Usually, I’m a WORD freak, but I think tonight was a tie between Monkey Threatdown and Blitzkrieg. The Krampus was just so positively ridiculous and the monkey speak/logic was awesome.
Although to be fair to the WORD, I will say that the phrase, “terrorist nipple bump,” almost made me fall off the elliptical.
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I loved the Monkey Threatdown, purely out of surreal joy. If only that SAP feature were real…I can think of a few television shows that would sound better when translated to monkey (and some that are already using the feature to full-advantage lol).
I’m not going to lie – seeing Stephen’s reaction to the Krampus attacking his desk was hilarious, but the Krampus itself sincerely creeped me out. I appreciate you not including a screencap of it for that reason. :)
Just as I suspected, the Matt Taibbi interview was fantastic. And that “I’ll be an improv actor” comment made me smile. :)
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The Krampus scared me too! And the fact that they still have that tradition in Norway [correct country?] is rather disturbing.
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The Krampus was very pleasing. :)
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I had a recurring nightmare when I was little of an ugly, evil leprechaun chasing me through my backyard with a knife, so I’m not really a fan of creepy-looking mythical creatures lol :)
I definitely loved the bit though – Stephen’s reaction was too funny, and I loved how he sat on his lap for the sign-off, ha.
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I thought the Krampus was attractive.
Yes, my mother dropped me on my head when I was a baby. :)
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LOL! I am passing no judgment – I hope you two will be very happy together and have lots of Krampus-like children. :)
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