EPISODE NUMBER: 5153 (December 2, 2009)
GUESTS: Craig Watkins
SEGMENTS: The return of Scrubs, So You Think You Can President?, Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
VIDEOS: Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tonight was another wonderfully solid show from Team Colbert, with a great balance of funny and serious. Stephen’s discussion of Obama’s war in Afghanistan, and the light shed on the conservative media’s reaction to it, were spot on. The addition of pyrotechnics and confetti to jazz up Obama’s announcement did make the event much more festive, I must say.
I thought that Stephen was going to make it through “Cheating Death” with no character breaks for the second time in a row. Luckily for us, he cracked right at the end after the second rendition of “Get Ready For This”. And I think Acid Re-Flux Capacitor is my new favorite Cheating Death side effect.
Living literally a mile from where Craig Watkins has his office (in the Frank Crowley courthouse) in Dallas, I was quite interested in hearing what Watkins had to say tonight. He’s a very controversial figure in Dallas politics, with half of the city thinking he’s finally righting the wrongs of the decades long Good Ol’ Boy judicial system, and the other half thinking, well, quite honestly that his actions are racially motivated. He represents both the best and worst of Texas politics, and no matter what you think of his personal convictions, there’s no denying that he truly is making a change in the way that the criminal justice system operates in Dallas county. I thought he gave a good snapshot of the goals he has to help free innocent people in the Dallas County judicial system.
What did you all think of tonight’s episode? And is anyone else hoping never to get a case of genital Slurpees? (Yay for another Dallas reference in the show – 7-Eleven is headquartered in downtown Dallas, TX.)
- For God’s sake, the last episode of last season was called “My Finale” and ended with backstage footage of the cast, the actual f#!king actors hugging each other goodbye! How much more of an exit strategy do you need?!
- Good grief!
- The prophet loves lasagna.
- I would never, never show a cartoon of the prophet. Blessings and cheese be upon him.
- The Afghan war – it keeps going and going and going …
- Do as George Bush said, not as he didn’t do.
- By the way, great beach read if those beaches are in the tribal areas of Pakistan.
- 18 months? You can’t pull out in 18 months! We’re talking about soldiers, not governors of Alaska.
- Going into a war with a plan to leave is like going into a casino and saying you’re only going to lose $100. You win by staying at that roulette wheel until you get rich.
- It’s the same reason my dentist makes me brush with Redi-Whip.
- Vaxa-rettes – it’s the only cigarette with a nicotine gum filter. All you do is light up and chew.
- Side effects may include Harry Belafontanelle, Lung badgers, and Esophageal Pringle Canning.
- You’ll need that fiber to poop out all that steel and rubber.
- Sorry sufferers of rare enzyme disorders. You should have had a limp d#ck.
- Vaxa-Filth – Made from 100% pure refuse. Isn’t it time filth wallowed in you?
- Side effects of Vaxa-Filth may include genital Slurpees, Medula Obshortgata, and Right Said Head.
- Rectum? He nearly died!
- By the way, that is one remote you do not want to lose in the couch cushions.
- Folks, personally I am thrilled about this development because finally there is a device that lets me poop whenever I want instead of whenever I am confused or startled.
- Vaxa-mote – the universal remote for all your bodily functions – blinking, sweating, lymph production, and it also works the stereo. You should have used that song, President Obama!
- Side effects of Vaxa-mote include Pillsbury Doughboils, Carpel train through tunnel metaphor, and Acid Re-Flux Capacitor.
- Lawmen in Texas have spurs.
- People are in jail – it works!
Colbert has had a lot of guests on his show, but very few have the sort of presence his guest last night has. That guy could give Clint Eastwood a run for his money.
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I quite agree, he was something alright!
Did you enjoy the smoking? Or is that only cigars? ;)
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Well he deliberately set out to make the smoking as unsexy as possible, LOL.
With the cigars, it wasn’t so much that he was smoking the cigar that caught my attention, but his deep enjoyment in doing so. He both enjoys and doesn’t enjoy things so emphatically, it does something to me. :) He’s very sensual.
Ah, fangirling on a Thursday morning.
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Oh Mrs. Robinson–correction–”sensuous”
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I always enjoy it when Stephen is directly affected by the audience [as in their response to the song being turned off] and adlibs/talks to them. It is a fun dynamic. I enjoyed the segment- except for watching Stephen chew on a cigarette. I am sure it is not very appetizing- but it was funny! He will do anything to make us laugh!
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Stephen was so surprised at the audience’s disappointment! I guess he doesn’t like that song? lol
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I’m still giggling over “Rectum? He nearly died.”
Yes – I don’t need any sophisticated humor to make me giggle all day.
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I’m with you. “Rectum? He nearly died!” got the biggest laugh out of me all week. I cracked up so hard at that silly line.
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Even better was Dubai? Do sell. On TDS. Childish! :)
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Haha, that one was great too!
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You are definitely not alone – I laughed SO hard at the “Rectum? He nearly died.” joke! Just thinking about it now makes me giggle.
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As a Scrubs fan, I laughed and laughed at the beginning segment. It’s true! Let the show die in peace! Ahem.
I think my favorite segment is honestly “Cheating Death”. I love all the side effects they come up with.
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The Scrubs bit at the beginning of the show was fantastic. As a huge fan of that show, I also wish they would just let it go. Something tells me a lot of other diehard Scrubs fans feel the same way we do. :)
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K first of all, that Rectum line was HILARIOUS!
I was kinda upset because i read someone post something about Stephen smoking on the show before it actually aired up here in Calgary, and i was soo upset! I smoke, but I don’t really wanna see Stephen smoking.. haha i don’t really know why. But it was actually so funny, i almost died. such a good “Cheating Death” segment last night.
Oh also: Did anyone else actually applaud the “Do as George Bush said, not as he didn’t do.” line from their house?
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I applauded at the George Bush line, for sure ha! It was such a great line – it actually reminded me of the fake Bush film that Stephen narrated during the Republican National Convention on TDS in 2004. :)
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That was my favorite line from the episode!
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My favorite part was during Cheating Death when Stephen used the “remote” and started flopping all over as his heart, spine and the rest went out of order! I love it when he lets his acting really go all over the place (literally and figuratively)!
He didn’t light the cigarette right? Anyway he seemed to get rid of it pretty fast. I did enjoy the guest as well, and it was good that he was able to get his points across while Stephen still got a lot of humor in.
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Esophageal Pringle canning = win. I will never tire of the side effects.
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It was a tie between Carpel train through tunnel metaphor and Acid-Reflux Capacitor for me. I so love Cheating Death! :-)
Interesting guest as well. I was hoping DB would comment a bit about him.
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I ADORE Cheating Death!! Once again, I actually cheered at my computer as he announced it, and giggled like a giddy teenage fangirl (something I normally NEVER do). I just love it so much – it’s the craziest a segment can get while still being a “Stephen at his desk” segment. Of course, it also helps a lot that he never quite seems to manage to get through them unscathed. I love when he cracks up.
Or maybe I’m just biased because my parents and my brother are all pharmacists. :)
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voted for Cheating Death, but that Craig Watkins was one cool cat.
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I always love a good Cheating Death segment! That mini-character break during the Vaxo-mote part made me smile. Also really loved the comment Stephen made about the Afgan war (It keeps going, and going, and going…).
Did anyone else just absolutely LOVE the suit he wore in this episode? His wardrobe department never disappoints! :D
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