Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 5151 (November 30, 2009)
GUESTS: Dan Esty, Joe Cirincione, Cevin Soling
SEGMENTS: Copenhagen Climate Summit, Better Know a Lobby
VIDEOS: Monday, November 30, 2009

Well, kiddos, we’re officially back from break. Thank Bob! Those pushups that Stephen did at the beginning of the show were quite impressive. This show was definitely jam packed with guests. I have to admit, every time I saw Dan Esty’s name in regards to being on the show, I thought “Is Stephen going to talk about homemade crafts?” Maybe I’m getting dyslexia in my old age. I wish I was kidding.

My favorite part of Better Know a Lobbyist was Stephen’s portrayal of a nuclear bomb going off. I think the little ice cream cart man was the cherry on top of that bomb. I also really enjoyed the interview with Cevin Soling and his discussion of schools. The discussion of school verses a minimum security prison was quite enlightening.

What was your favorite part of the show today?

I was just being young and athletic, excuse me.

I was just being young and athletic, excuse me.

  • It is so rude for [news] to occur on my week off.
  • Everybody is talking about the party crashers at the Obama state dinner. Amateur hour at the White House. I mean, who lets Joe Biden in?
  • Folks, hese e-mails are the smoking gun that prove smoking guns don’t cause global warming.
  • Fun fact: If you pollute enough, the birds flip themselves.
  • Pasty twins, activate!
  • That’s right folks, he will be Adolf Carter.
  • That is also why I believe that global warming is caused by teenage vampires.
  • Change in spirit? So nothing. Change in spirit and $4.25 will get you a latte.
  • Is there any chance when he goes to Copenhagen that he will lose the environment to Brazil.
  • That passage is misleading, because I know for a fact you can f#!k somebody up with a pruning hook.
  • Bring it. See me shake. It’s going to take more than a nuclear weapon to stop me. Hold on one second, I’m staring down America’s enemies.
  • Let’s get it down to only being able to destroy the world once. Any more than that, you’re being greedy.
  • I don’t know what analogous mean, but you’re saying I’m right?
  • Sanction, Bomb, or Marry? I give you the name of three countries, and you tell me which ones you’d sanction, bomb or marry.
  • You, sir, are the bomb.
  • What’s wrong with conformity? Conformity’s great, isn’t it? See, the majority believes that conformity is great.
  • Exactly, everyone should be able to do what they believe I want them to.
  • Stay in school, kids.

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