Episode 5150 (11/19/2009)
By
EPISODE NUMBER: 5150 (November 19, 2009)
GUESTS: John Pike, Elvis Costello
SEGMENTS: Taxing of plastic surgery, AK-47 – John Pike, Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger
VIDEOS: Thursday, November 19, 2009
What a fantastic episode to leave us with before a week long break. And again, Stephen ends the show so powerfully that it’s going to be hard to write the rest of this guide. Excuse me a moment while I go listen to Stephen sing for a bit.
Before we go on, let’s all take a moment to recite Pledge 2.0, you know, for the kids:
I text allegiance to the flag of the United States Of American Apparel and to the facebook for which it friends, one nation, OMG, indivizzibizzle, with Liberty and Jonas for all.
And how amazingly wonderful was that interview? And can I tell you something, fangirl to fangirl? Stephen singing makes me stupid. His voice is just so lovely and I just melt into this pile of fangirl mush. Holy cow, I love his voice. And he did such a fantastic job on the show tonight. I will be on watch for someone in the Nation to create an MP3 of this song, and I’ll be putting it on my iTunes “Stephen Colbert” playlist. NFZ Completist nerdygirl has been kind enough to furnish us with a link to a ‘Cheap Reward’ MP3 from last night’s broadcast. Thank you, nerdygirl!
You know what? Screw it, let’s just all watch Stephen sing a few more times together, okay?
- Now they’re going to tax my Cadillac so that my driver can get scheduled maintenance. That makes no sense.
- A tax on botox! A bo-tax!
- Now you know I am in a committed relationship with my life partner, Sweetness. But that doesn’t mean I’m dead. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate the supple curve of the banana clip. Or, are you just happy to see me?
- And that guy [Osama Bin Laden] is very selective. So far he’s only endorsed Kalashnikov and Mujahid-jeans.
- And in Mozambique, the AK-47 is actually on their flag. Clearly, their Betsy Ross was one bad mother f@#ker.
- Stephen: It’s like the Windows operating system of gun.
John Pike: Not really, it’s a lot more reliable than that.
Stephen: Really? Because its blue screen of death is actually death. - You can see that the butler is wearing white gloves because he has been trained not to touch people who buy lottery tickets.
- Then you can gaze into her eyes and say, Let’s see if dinner is on me. It is not. And can I keep this quarter?
- Gays and lesbians do have liberty and justice – they are at liberty to leave marriage to just us.
- What’s a gaywad? I find it hard to believe that John Roberts doesn’t know what a gaywad is.
- Pledge 2.0 – I text allegiance to the flag of the United States Of American Apparel and to the facebook for which it friends, one nation, OMG, indivizzibizzle, with Liberty and Jonas for all.
- Elvis: It’s amazing how you can lose your voice screaming at Speedskating.
- The hat, really? The hat is necessary?
Related posts
52 Comments
November 20th, 2009 at 8:49 am
That was so lovely! Gosh, I’m still reeling. I actually went to bed thinking it was like Christmas, because I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning and watch it again. Thank you for posting the clip!!! I think there were a lot of melted fangirls last night. And I especially adored the smile he gave at the end to top everything off. Sigh….. :D
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:06 am
i felt the same way. man his voice was at its best last night and i could literally watch that clip 500000000 more times
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Still reeling over here too! Melodic, tender… just exquisite.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Lovely singing–I just melted. And I’m always happy when Sweetness makes an appearance!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Love me some Sweetness. And I love how Stephen referrs to “her” as his Life Partner now.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I love Elvis Costello and was disappointed that he couldn’t sing. :-( Very fun interview though! I also got a huge kick out of Pledge 2.0. LOL!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Ohhh, I loved Pledge 2.0! “one nation, OMG, indivizzibizzle” – TOO funny!
Also loved how both Jon and Stephen made fun of John Roberts not knowing what a gaywad was -er, I’m sorry- J.D. Roberts. LOL
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Oh I am all for using any excuse to pull out that old footage of John “J.D.” Roberts! LOL!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:30 am
That old video clip was hilarious – and Roberts’ hair was just ridiculous LOL!
Am I the only one that noticed that Stephen nailed John Pike at the end of that interview in response to Pike’s comment about not buying things from communist countries with his “Yeah, we don’t buy ANYTHING from China” line? It was awesome. :)
November 20th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Best. Interview. Ever. My face hurt from smiling so much when he sang. Stephen’s such a good singer; it is ridiculous how calming his voice is. Just thinking about it now..*sigh*…it was just fantastic. The perfect segueway into a Letterman interview if I’ve ever seen one. :)
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:56 am
So sweet. Just lovely. A show filled with zingers (look at how sad Greta is…) and a wonderful ending. I know Stephen isn’t “technically” a musician, but I think Elvis should have him on his show!!!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I’m with DB – Stephen singing makes me stupidly happy and turns me into a puddle of fangirl goo. I could not wipe the big grin off my face during that performance. Wonderful. Disappointing that Elvis couldn’t sing, but that’s okay, we’ll take the solo performance now and look forward to a duet in the future.
And oh hai, Colbert Nation hats to support US Speedskating! I want one. *grabby hand*
“…one nation, OMG…” Totally cracked me up.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:26 am
As soon as I saw the guitar next to Elvis at the beginning of the interview and saw that they were sitting at the interview table, I knew something was up lol. Can’t wait for that Stephen/Elvis Costello duet! :)
I am totally buying one of those hats for a friend of mine for Christmas! I know they probably intended on marketing them anyway, but part of me hopes that they did it sooner because we talked about it repeatedly here on NFZ. A girl can dream…
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Oh my goodness. Thank you SO much for posting that clip. I’m home sick today and that just made my day. <333
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:50 am
I was in danger of passing out from sheer joy during the song. And near the end, when Stephen started to crack a smile, whatever lung or throat cancer I may incur in the future was instantly cured. Thank God, because I really needed a cigarette after that.
ReCaptcha = M’kay Spinning
For sure!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Totally agree with you on Stephen smiling at the end of the song – when he did it, this huge smile ran across my entire face. It was completely uncontrollable. :)
reCaptcha: Midwood gutsy
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Loved loved loved the show last night, but nothing could be greater than “Cheap Rewards” at the end. Well, the only thing that might have made it greater would have been if Elvis could sing along. Next time!
To tide you over for the next week: MP3 anyone? http://www.mediafire.com/?ziy1qyhtqlw
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:33 am
You rock rock ROCK my world! Thank you!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
THANK YOU for the MP3!!!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
i love you.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Aw you included Stephen’s “The hat, really? The hat is necessary?” line as well. Thank you!! :)
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Well, honestly. Thank goodness someone said something to Elvis about that hat. And that tie, frankly!
Reply
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:52 pm
I’m a little late to the party but thank you so much for the mp3. I’ve been listening to it so much it’s starting to get embarrassing.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:13 am
This was the perfect ending to an awesome week of shows!
Stephen has such a clear and beautiful voice. I was so happy that Elvis Costello let him sing. I was also impressed that he was willing to provide instrumental accompaniment so that Stephen could sing by himself. Wow! Just wow!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Wow, Stephen singing last night was so great and it gets better each time I watch the clip. He really knows how to deliver everything with subtlety doesn’t he. And his voice is so lovely.
I was so happy he did the botox tax too. When I saw that in the news I thought “Stephen has to do this!”
Fun show to end the week on!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 11:53 am
When I heard Elvis’ voice, I was sad there wouldn’t be a duet. But when Stephen broke into that song, I swooned! Sounded a little country, but so fabulous! Get this man a record deal! Will be playing this all day!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
OMG…I was gushing the entire time Stephen was singing!! <3 <3
Loved the AK-47 bit. That was just plain fun.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
:-D – thats my face right now.
Do you think they planned to do that song, or did Elvis literally just name any song and hoped Stephen knew it?
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I was wondering about that. I went to one of his shows long ago and he used a big wheel to choose songs randomly. He seemed genuinely surprised–maybe Stephen’s a huge fanboy and knows all the lyrics to all his songs? If so, that is adorkable.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
It looked like the lyrics were jotted down on a notebook and Stephen referenced it once or twice during the verse, but he had the chorus down. “Cheap Reward” is hardly a well-known Elvis tune, though — I was pretty impressed.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Will have to come back to read comments, since I haven’t watched the show yet (left coaster). But I did just cheat and watch the clip. I couldn’t resist the thought of Stephen singing.
And it was glorious! What an awesome song, and I do so love his voice. Reminded me a little of Cold Christmas with the little bit of twang. Thanks for the clip!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I’d also like to point out that I’ve been trying to play this song for the past couple hours, and while the music is relatively simple, it’s quite a difficult song to sing, especially if you, like me, lack that little country vibrato. Not that anyone here would doubt Stephen’s talent for a second, but there ya go.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
OMG, what lovely singing! that is an actual talent Stephen’s got, and it’s SUCH SUCH FUN when he shares it! am totally downloading the mp3 as I type, so thanks nerdygirl! :D
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Ok, so to just agree with everyone else,
OMG STEPHEN SINGING FTW!!!!!
That was my absolutely favorite part of the show. I really the twang he had in his voice when he sang. I’m actually listening to the downloaded version (thanks sooooo much nerdygirl!)
Since I’m a lame 16 year old, I’ve never heard the song before and a line from the song that made me laugh was “Don’t act like you’re above me, just look at your shoes.” I found it a weird way to insult somebody.
Seriously, I’ve been waiting for him to sing on the show again, and it was so awesome (as it always is).
As for the Pledge 2.0, that made me laugh so much because it reminded me of my friends so much.
Both interviews were pretty fun. All in all this show was as massive as two pillows fighting each other and I’ll listen to the mp3 on a loop of at least the rest of the weekend.
reCAPTCHA: Evelyn dooley,Evelyn sounds so familiar to me for some reason…
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
“All in all this show was as massive as two pillows fighting each other.” – that line just reminded me of a Demetri Martin joke (Pillow vs. Pillow = Crazy Awesome), and I giggled. Thank you for making me laugh :D
Reply
November 21st, 2009 at 9:54 am
You’re welcome!
I love throwing out Demetri Martin to see who gets it. You’ve become incredibly massive!
Reply
November 21st, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Why thank you :)
You’re quite massive yourself – and that is increasingly becoming my favorite word ha!
I actually got to see Demetri Martin back in May at a show and he was hilarious as always – a great one that he said was “If you’re a guy and you’re wearing a fur coat and you’re not an Eskimo, then you’re a douchebag.” LOL
November 21st, 2009 at 5:36 pm
You’ve seen him live? I’m jealous!
Also, I’m not the only one who uses massive? Massive.
(That line made me laugh so much.)
November 21st, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Yeah he did a live show down by Detroit so I was lucky enough to see him (managed to see Lewis Black this summer too) – he broke out the hilarious pie charts and everything. :)
Ever since Stephen signed off a couple months ago by saying he was going to make “massive” the new hip word and said “Did you see Colbert last night? He was massive!” the word just stuck with me LOL. Guess his idea worked haha :P
November 20th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
nerdygirl, thanks so much for the mp3!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
I really have nothing to add to everyone’s praise of the song. It was epic.
Nerdygirl, if you were nerdyboy, I’d offer to have your babies. Because I’ve been listening to that mp3 on a loop since I got home from work. Thank you so much!
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
I thought last night was such a treat — and I can’t help listening over and over again online! Wonderful, and a great finish to a fabulous week, what with his Palin book routine and his stunning “Word” on victimhood. And a sincere thank you to this site for annoucning ticket availability: I just got mine for January and am so happy.
Reply
November 20th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Appreciate the mp3, nerdygirl. It’s such a good recording too. Thanks!! =D
Reply
November 21st, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I just had the funniest experience with this clip! I watched it again about 15 minutes ago for the millionth time, and then went on to doing something else at my computer. A couple minutes later, it occurred to me that I was still hearing the song, so I listened for a second and realized it was my neighbor across the hall (who I don’t know) listening to the clip in his apartment, so I got to put my ear to the door and hear it again! I should have gone over there to gush about the awesomeness that is Stephen singing, but oh well :). Ah, such a beautiful thing….
Reply
November 21st, 2009 at 5:22 pm
That is both hilarious and awesome! Stephen bringing people together is a beautiful thing. :)
Reply
November 21st, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Seriously?!
That blows my mind!
That is so epically fantastic.
Reply
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Thank you for the mp3, nerdygirl! Hey Stephen! Please sing a country song with your soulmate Taylor Swift! Your twang is adorable :)
Reply
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:04 am
1am and I can’t sleep, so I find myself watching Cheap Reward again. Elvis Costello has been a musical hero of mine for decades (!), and this little moment of colliding fandoms is just shining golden magic. It’s such a lovely performance, and they’re having so much fun together. If I’m smiling this week, this is why.
Reply
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I appreciate nerdygirl ripping the song. I noticed the audio sounded kind of like it was in a tunnel though so I re-recorded it. This one sounds much more crisp. I’m an audio student so I’m unnecessarily picky about these things :)
Here’s a link NFZers…
http://www.mediafire.com/?mxudilwkgij
Enjoy!
Reply
November 29th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Just downloaded this for my iTunes. Thank you so much for this remix! Very nice!
Reply
November 30th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Sounds great – unnecessarily picky is fine by me :) Thanks for remixing & sharing!!!
Reply
November 24th, 2009 at 10:29 am
you definitely here his southern twang when he sings!!
Reply