Episode 5146 (11/12/2009)

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 5146 (November 12, 2009)
GUESTS: Woody Harrelson
SEGMENTS: The WØRD: The Money Shot
VIDEOS: Thursday, November 12, 2009

This is definintely one of the more memorable shows as of late. First, we started off with the Miracle Whip ad campaign against Stephen and Mayo. I believe this is the first time that ads were specifically geared towards the members of the Colbert Nation. Secondly, the Lou Dobbs/flying electrocuted Stephen Quickening? That … was … MASSIVE!

I also really enjoyed the Woody Harrelson interview. Woody is so kicked back about life, and it’s always entertaining to see an interview with him. But I loved that Woody just said, yeah, you can shave my head. I loved after the interview, as the camera was fading back, when Stephen shook Woody’s hand and said, “I can’t believe you let me do that!” Or something to that effect, I’m not the best lip reader. And Stephen and Woody singing the Star Spangled Banner as Stephen fully shaved Woody’s head? That’s up there with the styrofoam cup attacking Stephen and Future Stephen coming back to host the show in the pantheon of top surreal moments on the ‘Colbert Report’.

What did all of you think of the show tonight? Was it as mind blowing to you as it was to me?

Stephen Colbert assumes the power of Lou Dobbs

  • You … win?
  • It’s moved down against the yen, it’s moved down against the euro, and last week it moved down to its mom’s basement.
  • CNN, I think I just found Lou Dobbs’s replacement.
  • Say Hello to My Little Checkbook
  • That is juicing, when you do it right.
  • That is the quickest way to get a bit of a sticky wicket.
  • I did not know that they are using child labor.
  • I’m the big baby? You’re a baby, baby!
  • Folks, I smell a bad beaver.
  • I’m so excited, there just might be two Woody’s over there.


  1. I loved Stephen’s Quickening. If you aren’t familiar with Highlander, in the movies and tv shows, they sword fight and who wins gets the losers power and knowledge in whats called the Quickening. The effect usually involves lightning. Thats why Stephen also had the sword.

    • Thanks for that reference – I tend to be more of a comedy pop culture fiend as opposed to a sci-fi pop culture guru and the reference totally missed me. Luckily, I have all you Zoners to keep me in line and to fill in the gaps for each other. Thanks for the tip, linked it in the guide!

  2. I loved the Quickening too! It was hilarious! I really enjoyed the interview though. Harrelson cracked me up! He lets Stephen shave his head and then made a comment I can’t quite remember but it was alluding to the lack of hair he has on top. Then the cherry on top was the closing with the two of them singing The Star Spangled Banner, in harmony, while Stephen finished the job. LMAO!

    • lockhart43 says:

      I think Woody said, “I wish I had more support to show” meaning he wished he had more hair for him to shave lol.
      Ohh the singing of The Star Spangled Banner was wonderful. I love when Stephen sings. Absolutely love it. :)

      • That was it, thank you! :-) I also laughed really hard when Stephen said, “That’s a good look for you! You know who you look like? Boo Radley!”. HAHAHAHAHA!

        • I was already laughing at Woody’s “Larry from the 3 Stooges?” when Stephen made the Boo Radley quip -LMAO!

  3. AH! You got the screencap with the newspaper blowing!


  4. I keep thinking, well, that’s it, Stephen can’t outdo THAT show, and then he keeps doing it! I can’t decide between the Highlander and the head shaving, they were both so massive! :)

  5. lockhart43 says:

    Last night’s show was definitely one of the most ridiculous ones I’ve seen. And I absolutely loved it! From the Miracle Whip counterattack to flying Stephen to shaving Woody Harrelson’s head, it was just such a fantastic episode full of surreal moments. Oh, and I can’t forget the Canadian Ice-hole segment of the Sport Report! If supporting the US Speedskating team means Stephen will be doing more Sport Reports, I’m in even more support of the sponsorship :) Sent out my letter to Canada this morning! And I DID put my return address on it; Canada’s too nice to sue me LOL. Looking forward to how Canada responds next week.
    How awesome is Woody Harrelson for letting Stephen shave his head on national television? And the singing of The Star Spangled Banner to end the show was the perfect icing on the cake – love, love, love hearing Stephen sing! :D

  6. lucyinthesky says:

    The look on Stephen’s face when Woody Harrelson agreed to have his head shaved was PRICELESS!

    • I was thinking it was a pretty amazing “Yes, and…” :)

    • I love that little smile he gets when he’s trying to keep a straight face, but there’s too much joy bubbling out of him to be able to stand it. The edges of his mouth kind of quiver a bit, and his eyes get really big.

      Definitely an excellent example of “Yes, and”, Cordgrass.

      • That smile is definitely squeetastic!

        Hadn’t thought of “Yes, and…” – Thanks, Cordgrass & DB.

  7. This was an absolutely epic episode. The Highlander thing was so surreal, as was the shaving of Woody Harrelson’s head. And his Miracle Whip rebuttal was just beautiful.

    By the way, for those who didn’t/can’t see the commercials I found a link:


  8. That show was absolutely surreal. I have to say…that took some real coordination and concentration for Stephen to sing in harmony and shave Woody Harrelson’s head! GREAT SHOW!!

    • ColbertGirl27 says:

      I agreee! I would imagine it requires the same ability to pat one’s head and rub one’s belly at the same time!

  9. Not only did I love the shaving of Woody’s head and of course the beautiful singing (it was so hard to get myself to sleep after that much joy), but the interview itself was quite lovely. The lines of Stephen’s character were certainly blurred a little and I loved how he kept reiterating the fact that he supports our troops. He seemed almost emotional about the whole thing. So sweet.

    I still have to send my Canadian Icehole letter!

  10. Check out Miracle Whip?s video response to Stephen Colbert on his show last night on our Facebook page: http://bit.ly/46jRNX

  11. Thanks to this episode, I seem to sing “Princes of the Universe” all the time. Stephen’s Quickening could have been a lot more seamless, Jimmy!

  12. Miracle Whip is the same product that people have been eating for decades and decades — no one thinks it’s revolutionary or hip. Grandma always has a jar on hand, and if she tried to dance like the paid actors in the commercials, she wouldn’t be hip — although she’d have a good chance of breaking a hip.

  13. On the Quickening: I just couldn’t stop laughing. Even more so when the whole sequence ended, and he’s sort-of aimlessly swinging back and forth on the wires… I had completely lost it by that point.

    Also, I hope it becomes a ritual for Stephen to shave the heads of his guests… that would make for an awesome regular segment.

  14. Great show =D I voted for the sport report, simply because of the face Stephen made after that kid called him a baby!

  15. Highlander! However, I voted for the interview. I thought Woodys honest answer that he hadn’t always distinguished between the War and the Troops until he started to spend with the wounded soldiers at Walter Reed, was really great. And Stephen seems so moved by the Iraq-trip, i hope he’ll talk about it some more on Letterman.

    reCaptcha: walter warlike (spooky)

  16. Stephen making a To Kill A Mockingbird reference made my day. lol.

  17. he’s not letting the “iceholes” thing go… that kids was so cute” colbert is such a big baby”

  18. I think in one word: EPIC!

    The Highlander reference made me fall out of my chair laughing, and the Interview was spectacular! Granted I’m surprised they didn’t mention Zombies. I also loved Stephen’s retaliation, I’m going to use all that ad money to buy DELICIOUS MAYONNAISE!

    OMG those Miracle Whip commercials crawled under my skin so bad. I couldn’t really tell if they were joining in on the fun or just being jerks really. I hate Miracle Whip anyway :/. Personal bias mayhaps (no one attacks our Stephen!)

  19. hey DB – will you post that “styrofoam cup attacking Stephen and Future Stephen” segment?

  20. MaryLovesColbert says:

    This show was absolutely packed with amazing stuff! From the Quickening (had no idea it was called that, thanks guys!) to that kid calling him a baby in the Sport Report and then shaving Woody Harrelson’s head?! Can it get any better than this? Wow…

  21. Stephen shaving Woody Harrelson’s head while they were singing the national anthem was one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen. That little moment during the interview when Stephen asked him “Are you serious?” would seem to indicate that Stephen was surprised that Woody agreed to it. Yeah, that was a pretty amazing example of “yes, and…” Also, I was both surprised and impressed with how well Woody can sing.

    The Highlander thing went totally over my head. I’ve never watched Highlander.

    Even the Miracle Whip commercials made me smirk. I think they hit the right balance between getting into the spirit of the thing and promoting the product, without going overboard on either one. Confession: I always did like Miracle Whip better than mayo anyway. I guess this means I’m not a food snob.

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