Episode 5138 (10/29/2009)

epguideiconEPISODE NUMBER: 5138 (October 29, 2009)
GUESTS: Rosanne Cash, Bill Simmons
SEGMENTS: USA Today’s hatchet job on Zeppelins, The Music At Gitmo – Roseanne Cash, Threatdown – Halloween Edition
VIDEOS: Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sometimes Stephen grabs onto a subject and just won’t let go, and the longer he holds it, the funnier it gets. The splendiferous zeppelin escapade from this evening definitely counts as one of those moments. Nice cameo by Sweetness tonight, too.

Can I just interject for a moment that I have been craving Kit Kats for days, and Stephen is not helping?

I rarely see a story and hope that it ends up on the show, but for those very rare moments where my hopes and the writer’s ideas merge, it makes for a splendid evening. When friend of the blog (and hardcore Colbert fan and webmaster) Laura Northrop discussed her story on the Consumerist blog about sexy dog costumes, I told her, man, how funny would it be if the ‘Colbert Report’ picked up that story? So to see it actually picked up, and the sexy dogs splayed across the screen, made my whole week.

I adored the stiffled giggle when Simmons mentioned that he has a 2 page analogy comparing Kobe Bryant to Teen Wolf. But to hear Stephen call back about it to Bill after the segment was over (“Did you really … ?!”) was the cherry on top of this positively delightful episode.

I don’t know what’s going on with Stephen this week, but he’s looked fantastic and his joy has simply bubbled out of him during every show. It’s been so lovely to watch, and to share with all of you. What did you think of tonight’s episode?

Haunted House of Chores

  • Impractical? You tell me a better way to drift from Düsseldorf to Kitzbühel on low wind days provided there are no unusual bird migrations patterns.
  • Fun Fact: He invented the Zeppelin after dreaming his mustache could fly.
  • We can’t have these terrorists in our prisons. We need that jail space for black guys who get caught with a joint.
  • Well, so far it’s taken them to wherever you go when you don’t investigate torture. Let’s say Wendy’s. Man, I could go for a Frosty.
  • A ringing endorsement of their upcoming box set, “Rock Your Balls Off.”
  • Everyone knows that if you want to break a man, you play “The River.”
  • Artists have tortured souls, don’t they want to make other people feel that way too?
  • This is just forced art appreciation.
  • CloseGitmoNow.org
  • Don’t let your kids get sick from wearing masks. Let them get sick the traditional way, by eating 50 fun size Kit Kats.
  • Last year, I ran out of Almond Joys, and the neighborhood kids egged my house. And then they chickened my house. It’s hard to clean up.
  • Haunted House of Chores
  • Then it’s off to my bathroom crypt, where they reach into my bucket of ghost brains. Quick, rub the brains on the tile to get the demons of mildew out! Don’t skip the corners kids! That’s where the demons hide the most! Bwahahah!
  • Look, I made John Boehner. Not orange enough.
  • This is terrible, because after a few drinks, who knows which of these two you’re going to take home. I mean, it starts out like any other hook up. A little heavy petting, a lot of panting. The next morning, you roll over and realize you had a one night stand with a real bitch. And folks, you do not know the meaning of the Walk of Shame until you’ve picked up your date’s poop with a plastic bag.
  • 700 pages is a weapon.
  • I believe that market forces is what made Lou Gehrig great.
  • Bill Simmons: I do have a two-page analogy comparing Kobe Bryant to Teen Wolf
    Stephen: Really? Go on, and I want to warn our affiliates, we may be going long.


  1. Stephen would have massively Bump’d the zeppelin industry by now, if there was still a zeppelin industry to bump.

    and at least they didn’t chuck ‘flaming bags of excrement’ at his house like they used to do! “Stinky Steve”!

  2. I actually thought at one point that his voice during the Haunted House of Chores would continue until the end of the Threatdown. And I also love Kit Kat, and the fact that Stephen’s been so smiley and joyful this week.

  3. Enjoyed the ThreatDown. I am impressed with how well the pumpkin/can-o-lantern turned out. A nice, thrifty option!

  4. cordgrass says:

    I like the feel of the show this week–welcome back Bobby! :)

  5. lockhart43 says:

    Loved the episode last night – definitely enjoyed the call back to the “Splendiferous Zeppelin Escapades of Filliam H. Muffman”; that’s always been one of my favorite TCR moments :)
    Hooray for ThreatDown! It’s one of my favorite segments, and the Halloween edition did not disappoint – Stephen’s voice during the Haunted House of Chores was priceless.
    I agree – I don’t know what’s been making Stephen so joyous this week, but I LIKE it, and I hope it continues, because his joy just makes the show that much better :)

  6. PriyaNoblet says:

    Oh the giggles last night, they wouldn’t stop! Threat Down was hilarious; is it terrible that i’d totally do chores around his house for candy? The frosty thing made my sides hurt. The little tongue slip was hilarious! Bravo!!

    … I was totally waiting for the skateboarding segment this week. :( A bit disappointed we gotta wait…

  7. haunted house of chores was fantastic! I loved the voice, and the whole premise of earning the candy that way! I was laughing quite a bit during that. all of the Threatdown was pretty awesome, though! :D

    • I loved the haunted house of chores too! The whole Threatdown was hilarious. And I so love Boehner jokes.

  8. lol I love Basketball~! (Go Heat, Boo Lakers)
    I did closegitmonow.org
    I hope that you all do to ^^

  9. laughing at nothing says:

    I was so excited to see Roseanne Cash — I still have the 45 single of “Seven Year Ache.” If you haven’t listened to her, Roseanne’s music is gorgeous and emotional, not at all the usual pop-country. It’s difficult to imagine using her songs for torture. It was a bit of blast-from-the-past watching her. I’m glad a daughter of The Man in Black is part of the Get Out of Gitmo movement.

    Stephen’s Haunted House of Chores sounds like a parent’s dream. “Get the corners where the demons hide!” It reminds me of a girl friend who used to terrorize her little brother with “The Grease Man is coming!” (Her mother used to yell when the children washed the dishes, “There’s still grease on these plates!” and the youngest grew afraid.) Ah, childhood.

    I’ll trade my Good & Plentys and all black licorice for anything else except Smarties, Neccos, and those fake Banana Chews!

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