Episode 5134 (10/15/2009)

epguideiconEPISODE NUMBER: 5134 (October 15, 2009)
GUESTS: Jerry Mitchell
SEGMENTS: Dow hits 10,000; Tip of the Hat, Wag of my Finger
VIDEOS: Thursday, October 15, 2009

Everyone stand up and give a big, huge round of applause to the video editors of last night’s show. What a fantastically naughty round of Dow videos! I also enjoyed Tip/Wag. Oddly enough, though, I’m not craving a pizza cone.

I always enjoy the satire videos that the ‘Colbert Report’ comes up with, and this one was deliciously puntastic. It’s hard to think of mayonnaise and the Colbert Report without thinking of Stephen’s reaction to the Mayo-ty Dog.

It absolutely amazes me that the show has been on for four years. When I think of where I was in my life four years ago, and how things have changed and been shaped by the show, it’s pretty dang amazing. It’s also wonderful to look at the old clips and see how the show (and its audience) have evolved. Here’s to many more years of success and happiness with the show.

Anniversaries such as this always get me to reflecting on the changes my life has made. The show obviously has made a huge impact on my life – I spend most of my free time at home blogging, or talking with the many fans I’ve met over the course of the past 4 years. I’ve planned vacations around the show, and I’ve even made one of those vacations a trip to New York. Some of my nearest and closest friends have been friends I’ve met through blogging and talking about Stephen and the show. This fandom has meant the world to me, and the show continues to amuse me every night. I’m so glad that the show has brought so many of us together to talk about something we’re all quite passionate about – Stephen Colbert, and the wonderful folks at the ‘Colbert Report’ and ‘Daily Show’. Thank you, Team Colbert, for all that you do for us every night, and thank you, Zoners, for supporting our efforts here.

What was your favorite part of the show tonight? And how has the show changed your life in the four years it’s been on?

The new portrait for the Colbert Report

  • Well, just in case you didn’t get enough of that hot MILF action, by which I mean Market Indicator I’d Like to Fluctuate, I’ve got good news.
  • The Money Shot – Going Dow On It! America, it will leave you wanting more. Specifically, jobs.
  • The NAACP is so committed to black rights they’re even committed to black lung.
  • Say it with me, imaginary people – we’re not here, we’re clear, get used to it.
  • Okay, there were hints.
  • I should have known – the one day I don’t shave my chest, or my shoulders. And why did I ever shave that mustache?
  • Warning: Contents are piping hot.
  • You know I love being down with all the latest trends on the streets. For instance, right now the hottest thing is vampires. So I’ve been biting a lot of people on their necks. I predict the next big trend is lawsuits.
  • Yo, that potato salad was massive dope, y’all!
  • As Americans, we hold mayo near and dear to our hearts. Because that’s where it tends to clot.
  • Turn it up to Mayo-leven!
  • Our day in the sun [Don’t Leave Mayo In The Sun]
  • You won’t tone it down, Miracle Whip? Well guess what? F@#k you.
  • You’ve recently received a Macarthur Genius Grant. Congratulations. Later on we’re going to do math problems, Mr. Genius.
  • Have you been inspired by any other movies? Because I would love to see that bastard Penguin get his due.


  1. Jenny with a Y says:

    Happy Anniversary to everyone at The Colbert Report!!! When Stephen unveiled the new portrait, it took me by surprise. It feels like we just celebrated TCR’s 3rd anniversary. I promise I’ll keep watching as long as Stephen keeps yelling!

    DB, I agree with you about the Dow video. It was well edited and hysterically funny. I loved the mayo commercial too.

    As I was reading this post, I was thinking about all of the wonderful people I have met because of Stephen Colbert (and NFZ). So many of the TCR fans are intelligent, funny, and very friendly. I have enjoyed the time I’ve spent getting to know other citizens of the Colbert Nation on NFZ and twitter. Two of my closest “in real life” friends are people I met right here on NFZ.

  2. The new portrait = LOVE. Happy fourth anniversary to TCR! I voted for the 4-year anniversary of the show — just for the portrait — but my other favorite part of the show was the Mayo ad. That “We are Miracle Whip, and we will not tone it down” commercial bothers me immensely, and the parody was hilarious (if a bit gross).

    Here’s to four more years!

  3. DB, you are a treasure, and this site is wonderful.

    Loved Tip/Wag from last night! Go after Big Coal.

    And I’m pretty sure I’m going to watching the Dow thing more than a few times.

    • TruthPower says:

      Tip Wag was awesome. I’ll will be rewatching that a few times.

      I like the Miracle Whip/Mayo. Made me gag after awhile.

  4. I loved Stephen going after Big Coal in the Tip/Wag too. It makes me sad that even the Weather Channel, which used to run a regular weekly show on climate change and green energy, now repeatedly runs ads for big coal companies. The non-existent people made it that much better.

    The Miracle Whip/Mayo bit was really funny as both the real commercial and the TCR satire were so sixties (Polaroid Cameras?). Stephen’s version did take it to its logical conclusion.

    Happy 4th Anniversary Stephen & crew and many more! And thanks to DB and everyone at NFZ.

  5. I really loved the Dow bit and the Tip/Wag segment. I can’t choose between the two. They were both so funny and I enjoyed the jab at big coal.

    Wow. Four years already? Well I’ve only been around for two of the four but I truly enjoy this particular community. When I first started watching TCR regularly, my kids were 4 and almost 2 so I had a chunk of time every afternoon with little to do. I felt sort of isolated and really wanted to “talk” to other adults. I stumbled onto NFZ and the old colboard and it was so nice to be able to do that. Now the older one is 6 and the younger one is almost 4, and quite a handful. Nap time is long gone so I have very little free time during the day. NFZ is perfect for me! I can comment on episodes and read the other comments plus get the latest news in one place where there is no trolling or creepiness. Thanks so much DB and crew! :-)

    Happy anniversary TCR!

  6. lockhart43 says:

    I laughed so hard at the Dow video clip! *claps hands for the TCR video editors* It was truly made of genius :) And that mayo video was something special – it was so completely ridiculous in the best way possible, and somehow because it came from Stephen, it made total sense hahaha :)

    Happy 4th anniversary TCR! For me, I have been watching TCR since my senior year in high school, so since late 2006/early 2007, but I started making a point to watch it every night since June. I had always loved the show and watched it regularly, but it was really his trip to Iraq that got me 150% more invested in Colbert Nation, so I sincerely thank him for that. My life would not be the same if not for the dose of Colbert that I look forward to 4 nights a week. And thanks to NFZ as well for such a fantastic site that lets me share the Colbert love with other warm, funny, non-creepy people lol. You’re all wonderful! :D

    Finally, that new portrait? PERFECT. I salute you, Sir.

  7. Happy 4th, TCR!

    I’m hoping someone around here was at the taping so we can find out the story behind that toss.

  8. mrtigger001 says:

    The Dow piece was awesome and gets my vote, but I think the toss also deserves to be a candidate up there, no?

    • I’ll be honest with you. I very, very rarely watch the ‘Daily Show.’ Because of the way I do my guides, I wake up at 6a, get a bowl of cereal and watch the ‘Colbert Report’ on Hulu. I very rarely ever know that there is a toss until I start seeing things in the comments. That’s why the tosses are rarely options in the polls – I haven’t watched the ‘Daily Show’ to even know that there *was* a toss.

  9. I LOVED this episode, but my most favorite part? The subtle “This is Spinal Tap” reference during the Mayo ad when they said to “turn it up to 11.” I <3 that movie.

  10. well, when The Colbert Report started, I was a sophomore in high school and though not entirely oblivious, I didn’t watch it. now I’m a sophomore in college who hasn’t missed in episode since she began watching almost two years ago. it was the first time I ever found comedy that I could appreciate, and now I’m really into comedy in lots of forms.

    the stock exchange part at the beginning was hilarious, as was all the mayonnaise stuff. I like Miracle Whip quite a bit, but not because of its attitude! that kind of advertising is pretty effective…yet a lot of it doesn’t make sense.

    the interview was cool too. a good time to point out the value of investigative journalism.

    • lockhart43 says:

      We have similar back-stories for our love of all things Colbert :) I was also in high school when TCR started, but I was a junior and didn’t watch it on a regular basis til my senior year. Now I never miss an episode.

      I really liked the interview too – I absolutely LOVED the movie Ghosts of Mississippi when I was younger, about the re-trial for Byron De La Beckwith, and it was really nice to know it was because of Mitchell that Beckwith was finally convicted.

  11. MaryLovesColbert says:

    Wow. A year has just flown by! Happy Anniversary to all at the Colbert Report!! As long as you keep shouting, Stephen, and as long as the writers keep writing things for you to shout, I’ll be listening. :)

    Since I began watching The Colbert Report, and also The Daily Show, I’ve become much more involved in politics and I’ve just become much more interested in watching the news and knowing what’s going on in Washington. I used to hate the news, this is a pretty amazing turn around for me. So, it’s true what both Jon and Stephen say – their shows make people want to watch the actual news, because you have to know what’s going on to get the jokes!

    Also – the Toss last night was amazing. =D

  12. wildlymissingthemark says:

    I was happy that he commemorated the 4 year anniversary. He and the staff have a great deal to be proud of. I don’t know how they do what they do every night, but I am grateful for it.

    That being said, my life has changed dramatically over the past four years, just like everyone else’s. I feel like watching the show has made me more educated and made to care more about issues that otherwise I wouldn’t have had time to even be aware of.

    I am not really super young, but I think that it is to TCR’s credit that so many young people watch the show. I hope that these same young people grow up to be skeptical of their government and any other institutionalized entity, so that they can be active questioners of the status quo.

  13. laughing at nothing says:

    I especially liked his suit combination with the grey/silver tie.

  14. SusieBlack says:

    Congratulations to The Colbert Report, and we are looking forward to more great shows (and portraits)!

    I really enjoyed Colbert’s interview of Jerry Mitchell. He deserves all the recognition he is getting for his hard work, especially considering the bodily threats and intimidation. It often feels like there is not enough justice in the world, and it is wonderful to see people working to change this. Mississippi often gets a bad rap, but people like Mitchell, who aren’t afraid of exposing the truth, are slowly changing that, and we are grateful to him!

  15. There were so many great parts about the episode, it was difficult to choose a favorite. I voted for the 4th anniversary purely for sentimental reasons. The interview was wonderful – how courageous. I enjoyed the mayo parody, and Tip/Wag. However, I very nearly voted for the Dow segment because you’re right, DB -that video editing was brilliantly naughty.

    Sigh – a week without new episodes. Maybe I’ll get the chance to finish reading Sara Paretsky’s Bleeding Kansas (imagine the title’s underlined) before I have to return it to the library.

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