Episode 5130 (10/8/2009)
EPISODE NUMBER: 5130 (October 8, 2009)
GUEST: Colin Beavan (NoImpactProject.org)
SEGMENTS: Glenn Beck montage, Stephen Colbert’s Sport Report
VIDEOS: Thursday, October 8, 2009
Oh, what a lovely purple tie! And for those of you who are following the Stephen Colbert Hair saga, the hair is looking amazingly good. It’s not quite at 100%, but it’s at about 95% or so. He’s starting to get the loft back in a very good way, and the massive-amount-of-product shine is starting to really show. Our buddy Jen said that when she and Jacob were backstage, the hairdresser did Jacob’s hair and used the same four kinds of products that she uses on Stephen’s hair. The fourth was a light mist that turns the hair from just normal and stiff to high-gloss shiny. And his hair is getting very, very shiny. Huzzah!
I know that attacking Glenn Beck is kind of like shooting dead fish in a very large, stinky barrel, but it’s still funny. I never, ever watch Beck, but it’s good that Stephen shows me what so many of my peers are watching (and believing!), so at least I understand a little of where they are coming from. I’ve been reading comments in the blogosphere and twittersphere and any other sphere you feel like looking into, and it’s been said that the evolution of Stephen’s character from Rush Limbaugh/Bill O’Reilly type punditry to a complete Glenn Beck satire has been slow but steady. The montage from last night’s show certainly clinched that argument for me. I loved the crying jag part of the montage. I could watch Stephen openly weep for hours. It never ceases to stir emotion in me, of conflictingly laughing like crazy and wanting to give him a piece of butterscotch candy and put a band-aid on his knee.
Ugh, it’s going to be a long 72 hours until the next show. Don’t forget to buddy up in the comments so nobody gets lost!

- Stephen: By the way, “Kevin”, have you finished making my “coffee”?
Kevin: No, I’m still “enriching” your “coffee”. - Kevin: Can I call my family?
Stephen: First, the coffee. - Now I want to ensure my neighbors that I am brewing my coffee for peaceful purposes only. And if it happens to be a deterrent to my Jewish neighbor [Jon Stewart], so be it.
- They are attacking “The Silver Gopher” just because he dominates the coveted demographic of 18-49 year old voices in his head.
- He’s a fearmonger of 1,000 voices. Well, two.
- He just loves and fears, and sometimes he just fears love.
- Those feelings, that apparently Glenn, and Thorazine, cannot control, are being doubted.
- Wrong, Senator! You can do it in Mexico, too! I believe they were watching Lou Dobbs.
- Way to reach for the brass ring, Glenn!
- I’m effectively disguised, Keith Olbermann? You’re a sportscaster!
- It’s like looking into a mirror after you’ve done a ton of coke off of it!
- And I don’t know about Glenn Beck, but that idea makes me very sad. I’m sorry, I just love my paycheck so much.
- This is perfect for Rush – he’s used to having losers turn to him for leadership.
- That is like watching Rudy and Birth of a Nation at the same time.
- It’s like turning Lance Armstrong’s ass into a bike rack.
- After all, if it’s good enough to support the frozen, decapitated head of a baseball legend, isn’t it good enough for your family?
- By the way, I believe you are applauding my juices.
- What is the carbon footprint of this title?
- Wait, You let go of the TV? How old is your daughter? Does she even know who Scooby Do is? She had to learn about Scooby Doo at school. That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.
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