Episode 5123 (9/28/2009)
By
EPISODE NUMBER: 5123 (September 28, 2009)
GUEST: Sheryl WuDunn
SEGMENTS: Stephen Colbert’s Current Events, 1-888-OOPS-JEW
VIDEOS: Monday, September 28, 2009
Weepy Stephen eating ice cream is just so adorkable I just about can’t stand it. Man, it’s been too long since I’ve had some Americone Dream, too. Although the situations that are featured during the sketch are sad and somewhat sickening, I really hope they keep doing “Current Events” segments. And by sickening, of course, I mean that I can’t believe Joe Francis wasn’t tased.
As far as J.J. Abram’s puzzle is concerned, I believe someone over at the ColbertNation.com boards actually solved it. I’m really glad they’ve continued the OOPS-JEW tradition on the show. It’s these elements of continuity that really make regular viewers feel like they’re “in” on the joke of the show.
What did you all think of the show tonight?
- It’s hard to buy this concussion story because Conan’s skull is protected by a foot of fire engine red thatch.
- Clearly Conan didn’t go on because he was heartbroken. I know how much the readers of Glamour mean to him.
- And to those lovely ladies let me add – YOU WHORES! How dare you cheat on me with Jimmy Fallon! We’re married!
- I don’t care if Jimmy Fallon is “Totes Hot!” And I readily admit that he is!
- You know what, F@#k it, I can’t do the show tonight. No, no, tell them I’ve bumped my head.
- You see, [Bud] Grose kept insisting that the parade ended on North Malar lane, so the officer had no choice but to end it on Electric Avenue.
- But if he didn’t do this in front of her kids, how would they learn the Golden Rule – do as I do, not as I’m tased.
- And by dangerous offenders, I mean insufferable douchebags.
- By the way, ladies, Taser International is accepting applications for fall interns. The invitation is strictly Bring Your Own Bite guard.
- All of my Jewish employees were off of work today, so that just left me with two writers, Fernando Mayonaise and Mary Anne Foreskin. By that picture I think they both do barbershop quartet as well.
- It’s like Christmas morning, but the packages are filled with Jewish shame.
- Hi Stephen, this is J.J. Abrams, the director of Star Trek. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for making the secret puzzle I hid on your show last May too difficult to solve. Every great American leader could solve it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to direct a movie I just wrote while leaving this message.
- I will attempt, no promises, I will attempt not to oppress you during this interview.
- Women have had it tough, I blame Eve.
Related posts
25 Comments
September 29th, 2009 at 7:29 am
I loved this episode! He was on fire tonight! (and his hair is nearly back to normal, if a bit gray around the edges) The Conan part was my favourite – I hope Conan responds, but I also liked the tasering segment. I can’t believe the police are so free with those things. It would be much safer just to hit people. I thought Sheryl Wudunn was great, although not funny – the only potentially mockable bit would be the fact that “half the sky” is a reference to a quote by Chairman Mao, but I can see why he didn’t go there.
Thank you for running this site. It is one of the few sites not blocked by the Chinese government at the moment. Please please don’t say anything remotely negative about China ever :-).
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Wow. Welcome Catherine.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Oh dear, weepy Stephen eating ice cream just about did me in. So funny, so adorable, so silly. Easily my favorite moment of the show. And the comment about Conan’s skull being protected by a foot of fire engine red thatch was so perfect because honestly, Conan’s hair has a life of its own.
The dig at barbershop quartet singing made me giggle because one of my friends does barbershop quartet. I hope she saw that. *snicker*
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 7:44 am
I mean that I can’t believe Joe Francis wasn’t tased.
Not gonna lie, that was my first thought too.
I had to vote for the Conan-bumped-his-head segment– we all know how strangely fun it is to watch Stephen weep!
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 10:52 am
That’s mostly why liked it.
Reply
September 30th, 2009 at 12:14 am
How can you be that close to Joe Francis, holding a taser, and NOT use it??
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 8:54 am
I know this is a family-friendly blog and all, but I just wanted to say that I think Stephen should have won Jimmy Fallon’s category too.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Seconded! =D
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Thirded
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I assume it’s, ah, *included* in the “marry” benefits. ;;;;;;;;;;;)
(But seriously? That anyone should beat out Stephen in that category is appalling, but Jimmy Fallon? Ugh.)
September 29th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Like Jordan, I figure it’s included in the marriage package.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Yes! Two for one!
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Of course Stephen is the “marrying” kind! I like it when the comedians joke around with each other. He & Conan are friends so its funny. (And not to cross over but Jon made a Colbert joke last night) I admire Sheryl WuDunn and her husband Nick Kristoff for bringing women’s issues to light. It is such a serious topic that I didn’t know how Stephen was going to make it funny. And after a minute, he didn’t. It was more like a serious interview. Thought it was a great episode. Question- why is Allison still being listed as Exec Prod? Honorary thing?
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 10:02 am
“And by sickening, of course, I mean that I can’t believe Joe Francis wasn’t tased.” LOL! Took the words right out of my mouth, DB. That man makes my skin crawl.
I do like Current Events, even though it is a bit disconcerting. But hey that’s the point of it, right? I also really enjoyed the interview with WuDunn and want to add that book to my ever-growing stack I hope to get around to reading. The Atone Phone messages were funny but my favorite bit of the night was the weepy ice cream eating. Too funny!
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 11:46 am
It’s moments like Stephen calling the readers of Glamour “whores” that make 11pm-12am the best part of my day :).
Next to Jon Stewart’s many jokes about the Iranian City of Qum, the entire Conan bit was the funniest thing I’d seen all day. It was certainly the most adorable thing I’d seen all day. It also gave me a craving for Americone Dream. Nicely done, Stevie C. :)
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
and how! :)
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I agree, I think there is almost no better way to start off the show then how he did last night. I couldn’t stop laughing! Then I wanted to give him hugs for being sad D:
Reply
September 30th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Me too! I wanted to reach into my television and hug him while saying, “That suit does NOT make your butt look big!” haha. I loved when the crowed “AWWW’d” at his comment and when he started crying. I give the man credit for being able to cry on the spot – he did it in Strangers With Candy all the time too, and it’s always hilarious! :D
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I concur with the many sentiments on this page already regarding Stephen, Conan, and Fallon! I do love it when the late night tv shows refer to each other–makes me feel like they all support one another and it helps add to the funny!
BTW- I read that Glamour at the gym yesterday [crazy coincidence!] so I guess that makes me one of the “whores”! ;)
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
the Glamour stuff made me lol, the whole bit…I was excited to see Americone Dream appear as well! the interview was cool, though I think the review I read on Amazon does more to make me interested in getting the book.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I actually have that Glamour magazine! I bought it over a week ago and LOL’d at the page with the marry, dump, or do. For some reason I forgot all about it until Stephen brought it up again.
Gosh I feel so bad for the people who were tasered (except for Brody Jenner, ugh…my best friend thinks he’s hot…BLEH). It was hard to laugh at the jokes about that poor woman tased in from of her kids but of course Stephen made it so funny that I couldn’t help it.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
I would “marry” Stephen in a heart beat and I definitely would not cheat on him with Jimmy Fallon. Maybe with Matthew McConaughey though… but I think Stephen would understand.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Oh weepy adorkable Stephen. :(
Loved the interview with Sheryl WuDunn. I’ll definitely try to find that book.
Reply
September 29th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I loved the show.
Although, regarding the Do/Dump/Marry, I’d either switch Conan and Fallon or try to get Stephen in the first and third catergories, while keeping Fallon in the second.
(And with weepy Stephen I wanted to hug him.)
Anyway, I’m really liking the current events segment, has not failed to make me laugh.
The 1-800-OOPS-JEW had rolling on the floor.
The interview with Sheryk WuDunn was cool and I’m going to look for the book.
Reply
September 30th, 2009 at 12:16 am
The whole show was great last night — Current Events, Glamour, Atone Phone — I laughed loud and heartily for the full half hour. I do want to give a special mention to Paul Krugman’s call in to the Atone Phone, which just about killed me.
Reply