EPISODE NUMBER: 5120 (September 22, 2009)
GUESTS: Jeff Goldblum, Shai Agassi
SEGMENTS: 1-888-OOPS-JEW, Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger, Jon calls Stephen
VIDEOS: Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Yay! New Intro word – “Fundit”. That’s always a good thing.
We’re all still sad here at No Fact Zone about the shutout of the ‘Colbert Report’ and ‘Colbert Christmas’ at the Emmy awards this weekend. Even though Stephen got a little swipe at Jon (and later in the show Jon got one right back), it’s still too soon to joke too much about. It really hurt this year, I don’t know why. But Stephen cheered me up immensely by doing the scene from “Battleship” with friend of the show Jeff Goldblum.
The electric car does look like an amazing concept – here’s hoping Shai can get this thing off the ground in America.
So how did all of you enjoy the episode?
- The latest in ram horn technology, but still has that traditional dead ram smell.
- Five Hour Energy – there’s no better way to stay alert for the coming judgement of the Lord. Now with Taurine!
- And if you don’t think white Southern Christians have the balls to take Rosh Hashanah away from Jewish people, may I remind you, they took the blues away from black people [pic of Elvis Presley].
- God should have set up a chapter on eating disorders.
- 1-888-OOPS-JEW – also 1-888-MOPS-KEY – also 1-888-MOSS-LEW
- EMMY!!!!!!!!!!!
- I can’t believe I didn’t win a single award! Not even the coveted Best Acting Like You’re Happy For A Friend. If he only knew where my hand had just been.
- Sorry, Mom, apparently the Jewish people don’t want me to say I Love You.
- That’s right, we’re going to take the train to see the Grand Canyon. And you’re going to make it a little bit deeper. But you know, I like to sit in the quiet car, so you’ll have to wear your silencer. Shhh …
- I may have something against homosexuality, but I have nothing against hoax-mosexuality. From that “kissed a girl” girl to Madonna and Britney, Lesbianism is A-OK as long as it is being used for a higher purpose – pushing product.
- And this is the finest commercial-grade lesbianism since Aunt Jemima stuck her tongue right in Mrs. Butterworth’s flapjack.
- And tell Margaret I love hebpbpbpbpbpbb.
- Jon Stewart: Wait, this isn’t 1-888-MOSS-LEW?
- And how about the remote control, how often do you charge that?
- Let’s cut to the chase – will this get me laid?
- Colbert Bump: www.betterplace.com
- A ship? That sounded like an elephant giving birth to me.
Sigh. You make a good point about the fact that it really did hurt this year for Stephen not to win. But I think the slight swipe at Jon and the Atone-Phone helped me feel better. I wanted him to joke about it, then I’d know he was okay with it – or at least he had something for material. I don’t know, I don’t think it was too soon.
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I’m loving the Jeff Goldblum. Interesting interview. And can’t go wrong with OOPS-JEW, the shofar and Jon. But my vote went for Sweetness.
I’m watching the new shows with my hawk-like optic, to measure up to the Silverman standard. So far, so good. :)
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Stephen should definitely win the Best Acting Like You’re Happy for A Friend award.
I respect Jon for saying that was the best year of Daily Show (well, the best w/o Stephen, lol) and it’s the reason why they won.
What I’m saying is, it took the BEST ever of TDS to beat TCR of this year. Who knows what’s going to happen next year though.
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Lots to enjoy in last night’s show: the new word in the credits, the return of 1-888-OOPS-JEW, Goldblum and the ridiculous Battleship skit, Shai Agassi making a “ship” noise …
The highlight for me was, of course, Jon calling 1-888-MOSS-LEW. That was hilarious! I also thought it was a cute way to acknowledge the Jon/Stephen Emmy rivalry, while emphasizing the underlying friendship between the two men.
Also, has anyone called the number? I dialed immediately when Stephen mentioned it again last night and — of course — got a busy signal, but I did get through eventually. I never have any inspired apologies in mind, but I do get an outsized kick out of hearing Stephen on my phone, cheerily soliciting my verbal atonement. Such a great, great running gag.
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For those of you that follow NFZ on Twitter, I am jerzegrl. Yes, I have been joyfully outed as the fan who caught the captain’s hat at the end of the Battleship bit.
I knew Jeff Goldblum was going to be on the show because while I was standing (as the first) in line, I saw him go into the studio.
This was the first time my Dad joined me for a taping. And all of you who have been to a taping, the waiting is the hardest part. But if you’re 1st in line you are rewarded with a great seat, which we were, in the front row in front of the desk. Pete, the wram up comic, was his usual funny self. This time he asked for any international people in the audience, probably because the UN was having its General Assembly in town. There was a German guy who was an advisor to a Pacific island nation called Turvalu(?), some Canadians, and a group of Muslims. I thought there was goign to be an incident because Pete started making “brown people” jokes and asking why they had been separated in the audience. One of the guys was wearing a Free Palestine shirt so…
Anyway, then Stephen came out in his usual glory. Q&A was short there was a general SWC question. There was a VIP lady from Charleston who “knows some of his family” & wanted to know if Stephen knew that her husband was running for town council. Seriously, like he doesn’t have anything else to keep up with? “Which joke do you wish you had written?” Something about 2 peanuts walking and one gets assaulted. But the BEST question was “Are you a cool Dad?” He said something like, “Of course, I have a TV show.” But then he said “But that doesn’t stop me from not having to drop her (Madeline?) off a block from school.” Aww she doesn’t want to be seen with him. But he’s just a regular Dad & she’s just a regular teenage girl.
In the opening I was the one in the turquoise sweater with my arms up. There were 3 total stops in the show. 1st, in the opening there was a joke about Tom Delay & Dancing With the Stars that was supposed to have been cut from the show. But someone had forgotten to take it out of the prompter. Then he flubbed the opening line about guns on trains. The Shofar was hysterical for me because I have alot of Jewish friends. During the beginning Atone Phone bit he got to the line about Oprah’s Book Club, decided he didn’t like it, then went back and did the thing over. The laughter was louder the second time. The Aunt Jemima line was hysterical. He kept his head under the desk so long because he was laughing really hard & about to break character.
THEN…Battleship. At the end of the bit, I see the hat flying towards me but above my head. My reflexes aren’t catlike, but my Dad’s were. In the melee he batted it down to the floor and got it for me. I wore it for the rest of the show, not caring how ridiculous it probably looked. I was now sharing a hat with Stephen!
Fangirls control yourselves. LOL!
The rest of the show was a blur after that. During the Atone Phone call with John, did you notice he was trying to dial the phone but there were no holes on the rotary? The crew had a laugh about that during the break. Maybe I’m dense, but the car guy had me confused. But it seems like a good cause.
At the end of the show when he was blowing the Shofar again, he said he couldn’t blow it and smile at the same time. So he blew it again & I think they just dubbed the audio over. Then he left. Last time he had done some hand shaking but this time he just left. I didn’t care, I was in possesion of the hat!
Side note: I’m going to the Two Rivers benefit in November & may try to get him to sign it.
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That story about dropping his daughter off a block from school is the *cutest* thing I’ve heard in a while. Hilarious!
Sounds like fun, thanks very much for sharing.
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You are so lucky for catching his captain’s hat! I’ll be at the Two River Benefit as well :D Did you get VIP tickets (the ones that include the dinner afterward) or just the regular ones for the show? I’ve been trying to figure out how to meet him afterwards even if I’m not going to the dinner and get a picture or something. So I hope you get him to sign your hat! :D
It sounds like you had so much fun and thanks for sharing the parts about Stephen wanting to change his lines during the show. I laughed especially hard when I read that! :)
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No VIP tickets. The $100 to sit down front was all I could spare. I have no idea what the setup of the thing is going to be. I’m thinking it will be like the one he did back in 2006 at San Fransisco Arts & Lectures.
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Yeah, I didn’t get VIP tickets, either. You’re in the front? Me too! The front row, to be exact – I’m actually not entirely sure I’ll be able to control myself, haha, I’ll be so excited.
I’m really hoping that he’ll do signings or pictures or something like that afterwards – that’s the plan in my head anyway. Do you think they’ll do audience questions? I’m assuming so. What was it like at the San Francisco Arts and Lectures?
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Go to our good friends at Colbert University & download the podcast. Its in 4 parts. I think we’ve wandered way off the episode thread but check it out.
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Way to go! I’m so glad you caught the hat. Yes, definitely ask Stephen to sign his/your hat.
I’ll be there at Two Rivers, also (not 1st row, though).
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Oh man I don’t think I can control myself. That’s awesome! I’m glad I don’t have to wonder who got the hat anymore and that it was someone who is deserving :)
I hope you get it signed!
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I was hoping you’d give us a taping report! Congrats on catching the hat. I was watching last night and wondering what lucky soul caught it. I also love the story about having to drop his daughter off a block away from school. Very cute.
Good show! I really loved the Battleship bit with Jeff Goldblum. That was so funny and his appearances still haven’t gotten old. Oh and I really like “fundit”!
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Awesome – thanks for the taping report! And that is just TOO cool that you caught the hat! I hope he signs it for you in November! =D
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Thanks for the taping report Harper! My heart skipped a beat when I saw him throw the hat out to the audience. So glad a Zoner caught it! I feel better now:)
So cute about Madeline. I like to think that she prefers to be dropped off a block away from school because she fears that if he dropped her off in front of school, he would get too much atttention and she wants to come to school as her “own person” :)
I love that he still drives her to school! I’m sure it’s a great way for them to stay connected amidst his busy schedule!
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Fun show all around! I have to vote for Tip/Wag because of the way it ran into the Jeff Goldblum appearance. I just love all his surprise cameos on TCR. I’d rather see Jeff win an Emmy than Justin Timberlake! But maybe we shouldn’t go there :)
Jon’s surprise phone call was also fun, especially when it turned out he was calling about “MOSS LEW.” I also loved Stephen hiding under the desk (practically) after the Aunt Jemima joke. He was so clearly breaking up.
I am fascinated by the whole subject of electric cars. If/when I can ever afford it I would love to have one. I would have loved to have seen a photo of it on the screen behind them during the interview. Well I’ll just have to look it up. All in all a fun show.
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I have been waiting since Sunday night to hear Stephen’s emmy rage haha, and he certainly didn’t disappoint! I loved last night’s episode to pieces – from the Emmys bit, to Jon’s Atonephone call, to the joke about Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth. Speaking of which, how ADORABLE was that character break? I loved his comment afterwards, “I’m not sure that last sentence was legal.” :D :D
I always love when Jeff Goldblum’s on TCR, for anything. And finally, if Stevie C. could wear that sea captain’s hat on the show as often as possible, I would greatly appreciate it. Because it was beyond adorable. :)
Definitely looking forward to tonight’s show! Last night’s ep was my favorite ep since the one where he poured an entire bag of sugar on himself haha. Not that they’re not all freaking fantastic. You get what I mean.
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Hurray for Sweetness and faux lesbians Mrs. Butterworth and Aunt Jemima!! That joke had me laughing because it is such a ridiculous image and when Stephen took a bit longer to “rearrange” under his desk I knew he had lost it, too (so cute how you could hear him through the mic- mumbling and holding in a laugh)! Loved the tag on line: “I’m not sure if that last sentence was legal.”
I was really happy to see Stephen address the Emmy’s w/ Jon’s participation. That made me feel better about the loss–reminding me of their admiration for one another. But, part of me would have felt better if Jon had been put back “On Notice!” for stealing his Emmy. ;)
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Totally agree about Mrs. Butterworth, I was half way shocked he got away with it. Don’t know if he thought about that being as dirty as it sounded. Loved it though, I saw his smile XD
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oh, I’m sure he thought about it!
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That was my favorite line in the show. I almost can’t believe he got away with it. The character break just made it funnier.
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That “flapjack” line was hilarious! Made funnier by him taking awhile to compose himself and then saying he wasn’t sure that sentence was legal.
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LMAO at the Mrs. Butterworth joke and the character break, it probably came out sounding worse than he expected.
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I loved last night’s episode so much. The character break he tried to hide was wonderful. The atone phone with Jon ruled. And yet another Jeff Goldblum cameo that included pirate hats, self promotion and acting from Stephen. The appearance with Sweetness had me giggling.
I honestly thought it was a great ep that almost made up for his non Emmy win, but TDS better watch out next year because Stephen is totally coming for them.
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I loved last night’s episode. Everything about it was great. But, Jon calling the Atone Phone was priceless. Jeff Goldblum’s cameo with the Battleship rehearsal was freakin hilarious. And I was laughing so hard about that character break he had about that Mrs. Butterworth joke. XD
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I’m glad that Jon kinda defended(?) his Emmy win. Previous times, he just didn’t look like he enjoyed it. I know Stephen would be over the moon with winning. *sigh* I’m sad about it, though I know I shouldn’t be — the Daily Show was brilliant last year. But goshdangit, I wanted Stephen to win.
It was a GREAT TCR last night. Thank god, the audience was giving the love. Great to see him accept it. Way to go, Nation!
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From feeling good on Sunday afternoon, to seeing TCR walk away empty handed to the real letdown that continues, I can’t explain the depth of feeling I have for all of it. It just seems that this really was the time for Colbert and the Report.
But this show was awesome, and I hope Colbert enjoyed producing it and as much as we enjoyed watching it.
As a car ‘nut’ my favorite line was, “If I can make it sound like a Shelby Cobra, then I’m in.” I’m sure Carroll Shelby would love it.
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I’m more upset about the Emmys (i.e., the lack therof) than I expected to be, I guess because I was convinced the Academy would award him with at least one Emmy (shakes fist: “EMMYS!”). I was hoping that Jon would call the Atone Phone.
That car sounds like a great idea. Wonder how much plans would cost. I loved not only the drive tones, but Stephen’s surprise that they weren’t a joke.
recaptcha: symptoms Stephen (side effects may include…)
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