epguideiconEPISODE NUMBER: 5117 (September 15, 2009)
GUEST: Jeffrey Toobin, Christiane Amanpour
SEGMENTS: Stephen Colbert sets record for insults to Mexico, The WØRD: Let Freedom Ka-Ching
VIDEOS: Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hey, remember yesterday when I said “Screw sleep”? Yeah, not such a good idea actually. So today, I’m back on my 6a schedule. And I gotta admit, the best part of waking up is Stephen in my cup.

The Mexican Insult Counter was offensive on so many levels, and yet I couldn’t help laughing out loud. Stephen has been conditioning us for this over-the-top politically incorrect smörgåsbord ever since the days of “Strangers With Candy”. (By the way, I can always tell when I’ve been watching too much SWC when things start coming out of my mouth that even my husband gives me the ookie eye for.)

I really found the “Corporations as People” segments of the show very interesting. I really enjoyed The WØRD – nothing like watching Stephen bite the hand that feeds him. But he also brought to light a court case that I haven’t really heard about before the show aired. Little side note here – what it is about Stephen eating donuts that is so adorable? I didn’t realize that case about corporations as people was going on, and Jeffrey Toobin was actually quite informative in getting us a basic foundation about the situation at hand. I’m sure our resident lawyer, MsInterpreted, will give us more information in the comments.

What did you all enjoy about the show today?

Tilda

  • Stephen Colbert attempts to set the Guinness World Record for most insults to Mexico in a single nightly news broadcast.

    • Hey, Mexico, is that a tilde over your ñ, or did one of the other letters throw up?
    • Hey, you know why Mexican food runs right through you? Because it’s late for an appointment to be in the next burrito.
    • And I am just getting warmed up, Mexico. Unlike the Azteks who are stone cold dead. Too soon?
    • Bullfighting isn’t cruel. It’s far crueler to keep those bulls alive in Mexico.
    • Oh, and donde esta la biblioteca, I need to check out a book on how much Mexico sucks.
    • I understand how corporations are people, what I don’t understand is how Mexicans are people.
    • Hey Mexico, you forgot to inflate your bread!

  • And created both the largest meatball in the world and the largest cheesecake in the world. Which positions them perfectly to also set the record for the largest communal heart attack.
  • These insults will be cheap, heartless, and purposeless, just like Tijuana.
  • I didn’t realize that the largest collection of traffic cones was in the Magna F@#king Carta.
  • Instead of sinking the Clinton campaign, these filmmakers had to watch that honor go to someone else. [The Clinton Campaign]
  • [We Hold That Pandering to be Self-Evident]
  • So, Corporations are legally people. And it makes sense folks, they do everything people do except breathe, die, and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCB’s into the Hudson river. [GE - We Bring Bad Things To Fish®
  • But [Corporations] can’t speak like you or me, they don’t have mouths or hands. [Just A Giant Middle Finger]
  • How great would it be if Kraft had guns, and they could just shoot cheese down our throats? [Too Late]
  • Are we finding out right now that the most powerful man in America is the court reporter of the Supreme Court? And how can I get that job, because there’s a few things I want to fix.
  • Could I actually wear a NASCAR suit and have logos all over me and run for President as the “Gatorade Thirst for Justice” campaign for President.
  • Right now, corporations will actually have more power as people than people, until people catch up with corporations. That’s what kind of confuses me, that corporations are more people than people, could we settle that by ruling that people aren’t people?
  • Stephen: I bet half your success is based on the name Christiane Amanpour. Amanpour: Possibly all of it.
  • All you need to do is add Chandelier as the middle name – Christiane Chandelier Amanpour.
  • Just go everywhere with 8,500 armed soldiers and you’ll be perfectly fine.
  • But who could possibly insult Mexico more than me? … Lou Dobbs! Well I’ve been beaten by the best. At least until he’s replaced by a Mexican is willing to insult Mexico for pennies on the dollar.

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