The Seven Deadly Sins on The Colbert Report: Envy

“These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” (Proverbs 6:16)

Hey Zoners!  We’re continuing our mid-break series on the moral failings of “Stephen” -   next up on our Sinful Buffet is Envy.  If Stephen’s pride is all bluster and blow, envy is a petulant and resentful whine.

#4 – “Who’s Not Honoring Me Now? The MacArthur Foundation” The MacArthur Foundation always pick a bunch of eggheads and hippies you’ve never heard of, and this year’s no different.  But Stephen’s got a pretty good argument that he deserves a grant for “Hiphopketball, A Jazzebration.”

More after the fold!

#3 – “Westminster Dog Show Snub – Formula 40-Woof” Despite Stephen’s floppy ear and firm haunches, yet again he was passed over for recognition in the Westminster Dog Show.  I love that he’s even jealous of a dog’s success.

#2 – “Fields Medal” Stephen is miffed that someone else was awarded the Fields Medal, despite his own tireless work in the field of donut mathematics – which is very stickily demonstrated.   The rabbit line gets me every time.

#1 – “Who’s Not Honoring Me Now? Emmys” Stephen did not get a Pulitzer, or an Emmy.  If they eliminate the individual performance category, he’ll make himself eligible for all the other categories.  Quick change scenes, an appearance by Barry Julien as the Starbucks barista under the desk, and Stephen in lipstick and a bad wig.