EPISODE NUMBER: 5095 (July 16, 2009)
GUESTS: Edmund Andrews
SEGMENTS: The WØRD: Neutral Man’s Burden, Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
VIDEOS: Thursday, July 16, 2009
For those of you on Stephen Colbert Hairwatch, I think I saw a little bit of a part tonight. Whoo!
I love it when an episode makes me have to continuously pause the Hulu recording so I can stop laughing and get on with the episode guide. And man, were there some memorable ones tonight! Loved the palm burn before The WØRD – so subtle, and yet so funny. And oh my GAWD, I laughed at the Wilford Brimley cameo in the Diabetes graphic. Actually, all the graphics were divine tonight – loved the spinning eyes during the Pain Management graphic. I’m pretty sure that Stephen is simply not allowed to get through Cheating Death without at least two small character breaks. It makes me happy to see him get tickled with himself.
The book featured during the interview (“Busted” – Ed Andrews) made me think of an interesting scenario here in downtown Dallas. To rent a loft in my neighborhood, which is basically high rises and refurbished buildings repurposed as lofts and residential, it literally costs half as much per month to rent as it does to buy. Because of my husband’s job, and because of the fact that we really like living in downtown Dallas, we want to stay in this neighborhood, but we can’t afford to buy, so we rent. I’ve heard that some of the buildings downtown are at 50%+ foreclosure, because of the sketchy deals that were going on all over the country a few years ago. It should be quite interesting to see how this issue resolves itself here in Dallas. Hopefully the purchasing market will become a bit more affordable.
So did you love the Vaxadoodle as much as me? And what else made you laugh tonight? Tell us about it in the comments!
- But that’s where I would get on stage all alone?
- MANILOW! BENNETT! RICKLES!
- Even though I lost to a different thawed out ice man each year, I am still nostalgic for those days. Manilow … Bennett … Rickles …
- It’s not the Emmys, that’s strictly copyrighted. It’s the Memys! And I have already designed the statuette. It’s similar to the Emmys, only more balls.
- Mother Teresa – Ooh, sainthood is awards bait
- Martin Luther King – I have a dream that I am going to kick your ass
- Leonardo DiVinci, The DiVinci code – Last year was his year
- Jon Stewart – Man, that guy always wins
- Stephen Colbert, ‘The Colbert Report’?! – WHOO!
- I don’t prejudge if a hot stove will burn my hand. Who knows what will happen next time?
- So why is he neutral and not Sotomayor? [Scalia Neutered Him] It’s because Alito is white [There Goes Stephen's Essense Award]
- It’s standard person color [Source: Bureau Of Whites And Measures]
- [Also Accepts Fishsticks As Fish]
- [Landmark Case: Eggshell v. Ecru]
- Imagine how the life experience of an Asian judge would have sullied that neutrality. [Domo Arigato, Justice Roboto]
- Drug: For treatment of disease
- What’s that girl? Timmy’s blood sugar is spiking over 600mg per deciliter? And he’s going into an hypoosmolar state? Get me 1cc of insulin, stat!
- Vaxadoodle – the very first dog surgeon. Side effects of the Vaxadoodle may include beast infection, Rosemary’s rabies, and Jack Russell derriere.
- There you go, no one under my desk.
- This is great news for America’s vital thirst quenching industry, which is always looking for new colors to make fluids. Now they can add brown.
- Prescott Sports Malt – It’s got everything you need: Electrolytes, potassium, and single malt scotch. And for healthy bones, there’s still plenty of milk in the form of Bailey’s Irish Creme. Now you can replenish your fluids and your courage. Side effects may include femoral jam banding, irritating bowel syndrome, and chest pattern baldness.
- Evidently, the pain you feel is inversely proportional to the number of middle names you give Jesus.
- VAXAMOTHERF$&%INGDRINE – Each capsule contains a specially formulated swear word. [opens capsule] ass- !@#$%^&*_+>? -jockey
- Side effects may include rectal departure, strangulated Narnia, and nine inch nails.
- Really, the mortgage crisis can be blamed on love.
- [Shaking head No] Yes she is!
For me, last night was a tie between Stephen discussing the emmy’s [and subsequent memy's] and Cheating Death. It makes me happy to see Stephen dish out the love to other hosts (Letterman, Conan) and his subdued rage and shaking fist was very funny. Cheating Death always includes minor character breaks and hilarious side effects so — I couldn’t do it– I couldn’t choose a favorite.
Side question: Where is TCR obtaining all the adorable puppies/dogs? Is Stephen also running a dog shelter under his desk?!? :)
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I was watching carefully to catch those Cheating Death character breaks, but I never saw any this time. He held it together really well. If there was one, it was extremely minor.
Dog shelter. Maybe. Where would he put the pee pee papers?
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Who knows, maybe Stephen has an entire mall under his desk? He has a Starbucks, a secret prison, and (I think) a Foot Locker under there, right? :)
The WORD was BRILLIANT. And just a few hours ago I was watching Rachel Maddow and Pat Buchanan face off.
Great show.
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Stephen’s comparison of “flesh-colored” / “invisible” bandaids to “standard-colored (white) people’s” opinions / people who want Sotomayor’s opinions to be “invisible” may be one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard….
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I completely agree! As they went to commercial, I just sat there with my mouth slightly agape, wondering how a show could be so funny and yet so smart (and so sexy!). I guess that’s why TCR was nominated for 3 Emmy’s!!!
I can’t wait for September now, so we can at the very least see the little skit they do for the writers’ nomination. But hopefully we’ll get some of that golden ball this time!!!
Also, has anyone here been lucky enough to attend the taping of a puppy show? I’m curious to know if the puppy handler under Stephen’s desk stays under there the whole time or rolls away holding the puppy.
P.S. Puppy handler under Stephen’s desk: Best. Job. Ever.
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I’m not a huge dog fan, but I’d volunteer for that job in a heartbeat!!
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Agreed. The band-aid metaphor was mind-blowing!
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so true.
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I’m with you on the band-aid thing. That was a superbly written Word, maybe the best in months. Even though I laughed more during Cheating Death, I always give love to a well-written Word.
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For all I love the “Cheating Death” segments (and the Nine Inch Nails side-effect was hilarious), I have to agree with the people who thought The WØRD was outstanding. It’s always a highlight to me, but last night’s was exceptionally good. That Band-Aid metaphor? Good God, it was wonderful. The sooner these privileged “neutrals” stop telling other people that their heritage should remain invisible, the better I’ll feel.
Bravo, everyone!
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The WORD was brilliant and right on point – with all the stupid yak yak about Sotomayor’s “wise Latina” comment in the news lately, this was a welcome and insightful retort. And loved the generic “DRUG” for “Treatment of Disease” LOL!
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It was such a tough call between Cheating Death and The Word. I voted for Cheating Death mostly because of Wilford Brimley saying, “diabetes” and the always hilarious side effects. Although it sounded like the dogs are being used to detect hyPOglycemia and the example he used with Timmy and Lassie referred to hyPERglycemia. Eh. I’m nitpicking. The Word was excellent and came in a very, very close second for me.
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Thank you, Michele, for being a fellow nitpicker! I caught that, too :)
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Ha ha! Glad I wasn’t the only nitpicker!
I still giggle every time I think about the Wilford Brimley graphic and, “diabetes” though. :-)
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I’m weighing in to add to the chorus of love for last night’s Word. It ranks right up there with the original recipe “Truthiness” Word as a genuine classic. It was all so painfully true that it made me give Jesus a couple new middle names.
I noticed that the puppy Stephen used to beat the baby with earlier this week was the same puppy he threatened with Sweetness. So, I was wondering if perhaps the puppy was the Colbert family pet. But the Vaxadoodle last night was a new dog. Maybe the staff gets to take turns at “Bring a Pet to Work Day” and then has to write a segment that incorporates the dog.
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The dog wearing a dress shirt and tie during the Cheating Death segement, and watching Stephen pet the dog, was too adorable. Gah!
Since the interview hasn’t been mentioned, I thought I would send some love its way and say how much I enjoyed the expression on Stephen’s face when Edmund Andrews confessed to hoping that his wife would fill in the gap in the cost of the mortgage. Ha!
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Random things i liked:
-A new way to deal with getting hurt: I found it helps to be emotionally dead inside.
fav!
-Even though I lost to a different thawed out ice man each year, I am still nostalgic for those days.
-Manilow … Bennett … Rickles …
-I don’t prejudge if a hot stove will burn my hand. Who knows what will happen next time?
i liked the line before:
-I have never let past life experience get in the way of how i approach a situation.
i was like really? not a single chuckle at that line…
-Hispanica [and The Ants in Antarctica]
-[Though Bias-Curious In College]
I really enjoyed the neutral vs invisible comparison.
-Now you can replenish your fluids and your courage.
Stephen doesn’t really break during: Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
But pretty much ever time he does the segment, Stephen is on the edge of a giggle fit.
Stephen does really have a whole world under the desk. I keep watching his hands
trying to see if i can bend my fingers and hold those poses.
-Really, the mortgage crisis can be blamed on love.
yep, i completely agree. it is all about people
trying to impress someone.
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the Word was so intelligent. it got my vote. a good sentiment but just expressed in the cleverest way.
Cheating Death was also fun. I like that dog a whole lot. and the generic “Drug.”
reCAPTCHA: drollest Corporation… Viacom? from time to time, I suppose…
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i don’t know if this is off topic, but I live outside the states now but still try to watch TCR daily. Today appears to be the first day as I watched the “full episode” mode on colbertnation.com, commercials starts to play both before and during the show *sigh*
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