Episode 5094 (7/15/2009)
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EPISODE NUMBER: 5094 (July 15, 2009)
GUESTS: Douglas Rushkoff
SEGMENTS: Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger, Difference Maker [Redux]
VIDEOS: Wednesday, July 15, 2009
For anyone that’s playing the ‘Colbert Report’ drinking game, don’t forget to drink every time Stephen mentions Bud Light with Lime, Dr. Pepper, Amp, or Sierra Mist.
Yesterday, we published the story from “The State” mentioned by Colbert on the show last night, but took it down when we realized that “The State” wasn’t very nice and published a bunch of personal contact information for the people who wrote the e-mails. It obviously was both a big story, and was something Stephen felt was important enough to address on the show. We sometimes have to make judgement calls here at No Fact Zone about the news we report, and we decided to err on the side of caution, in case you’re wondering where that story went.
Also, I miss Paul Lynde.
There was a moment in tonight’s interview, where Stephen mentioned he was “willing to be king”. He then pointed to the audience and, for a fleeting second, let the audience in to his awareness of the ridiculousness of all of the Colbert Nation worship by making a face. It’s funny to know that he realizes that it’s totally silly for us to adore him the way that we do, and for him to take all that adoration and love. And yet we do it anyway.
So what did you take away from the episode tonight?
- By now, everybody’s familiar with Mark Sanford and his fact-finding mission to Argentina, where he found the fact that he was cheating on his wife.
- First of all, sir, I am no gentleman. I wasn’t just offering Sanford a journalistic stroke job, in my next e-mail I offered Sanford a literal stroke job.
- I would have given him such a junk buffing he wouldn’t need an Argentine concubine. I would have taught his taint to tango. Offer still stands, by the way.
- The G-Force will forever remain a secret.
- You don’t really think Strom Thermond died of “old age” in 2003 do you? If he was going to die of old age, he would have done that when he was old, in 1974.
- Finally, someone has the guts to say it – the fall of Saigon was Paul Lynde’s fault.
- Thank you applauding Jesus.
- After all, why would a male penguin settle for this, when he could get this. HATCHA! Regurgitate me a piece of that!
- I mean, who’s going to oppose that? The NRA.
- If this law goes through, noted gun enthusiast. Ruth Bader Ginsburg will not be able to dish out justice with her gatling gun. She’ll have to go back to killing with her hands.
- I’ll start talking soon.
- Corporations, they … they bring good things to life.
- How is making love bad for the GNP?
- That is a very, very bleak stimulus package you just described.
- So are you saying we should go to a pre-Renaissance world view? Because I’m willing to be king, if that’s the case.
- Your plan sounds like kindergarten. Are we going to have forced naps also? Because I’m not tired!
- I have a webcam at watchmenap.com, and I make cash off of it.
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31 Comments
July 16th, 2009 at 8:36 am
I LOVED this episode! I watched it before work this morning and it turned my grumpy mood into a happy one. Stephen can always make me laugh, that’s for sure.
The Keith Olbermann segment was my favorite. Ever since Stephen was included in Countdown’s worst person list a few nights ago, I had been wondering if/how he would respond on TCR. I didn’t expect him to discuss “junk buffing” but it certainly was hilarious. I can’t wait to see if Keith mentions this on his show tonight.
The bi penguin joke made me laugh. I wish I had thought of it recently when someone tried to use the gay penguin break-up against me in a “discussion” we were having about sexual orientation.
I generally don’t like Difference Makers but this one was very funny. I still can’t believe anyone would think it would be a good idea to let peole have guns in bars.
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
When I watched Keith Olbermann that night, I was surprised how easily he let Stephen off — the “gentleman” comment was fairly strong on his part. Ah Keith, so naïve. XD
OTOH I hope Olbermann doesn’t take up Stephen on his dare — does anyone really want a reason for Stephen Colbert being the Worst Person in the World?
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July 16th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Maybe Keith will totally go against Stephen’s wishes and make him the Best Person in the World.
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July 16th, 2009 at 9:36 am
*face palm*. Ooohh, my poor, sweet Tennessee. Where oh where did we go wrong? The material was pretty funny but I couldn’t bear to vote for it because of the rep those types of people put on TN. Pretty much any time I see some portrayal of Tennessee on TV, it always involves rednecks like that. Really, y’all, Nashville is one of the coolest places I know with some of the nicest people you could imagine. It truly is an interesting city that puts endless emphasis on the arts and many generations of American culture. It really Is about the greatness of music all-around, not just the cliche country stuff, and it wouldn’t be on my list of places to be considered a rednecks haven. Not to say we don’t have dumb rednecks like in that segment, but really, what place doesn’t?
But this guns in bars business…boy oh boy.
Those gay penguins actually made a cameo in my psychology book. Perhaps it’s time to update the text =P
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Nukaleu, I’ve visited Tennessee before, including Nashville. I know it’s much more cosmopolitan than MSM media portrays. I also got to meet some wonderful people considered to be rednecks. You’re right, we have rednecks where I live, too, but they’re called Pineys.
But, really, what were your legislators thinking (and/or drinking)?! ;)
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July 16th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Unfortunately we haven’t been the best role model in terms of electing smart/sane people. I mean…we had Bill Frist and Fred Thompson. The folks in that segment…that’s where they come into play, electing boobs like that.
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July 17th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Juice, you’re from Jersey? :-D (The “Piney” reference…)
Also, “5+2=whatever Jesus wants” wins.
Also also, I have added “junk buffing” to my vocabulary. I don’t care if I get strange looks for it.
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July 16th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Don’t worry, I’ve heard Nashville is a great city and I’ve only heard wonderful things about it and I really hope to visit it one day. I’ll just have to wear a flak jacket when I go into bars.
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July 16th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Good to know Nashvegas isn’t seen as rank as it could be interpreted. I hope you get to go sometime. If you like Japanese restaurants try out Kobe. Best Japanese grill I’ve been to. Salmon FTW.
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July 16th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I lived in Nashville for some time in the early 90’s. It’s a fantastic city with some of the warmest, most down-to-earth people, I have ever met. And do they know how to party! Would move back
in a heartbeat! But I too might have a little concern about the bars! ;)
btw…I WANT THAT PUPPY!
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July 16th, 2009 at 9:48 am
*face palm* Oh my poor, sweet Tennessee. Where oh where did we go wrong? The material was pretty funny buy I couldn’t bring myself to vote for it because of the rep those kinds of people put on Tennessee. Every time I see some portrayal of Tennessee on TV, it always involves people like that. Really, y’all, Nashville in particular is one of the coolest places I know with some of the nicest people you can imagine. It really puts endless emphasis on the arts and celebrates American and foreign cultures. Any Nashviian will tell you that it’s about the beauty of music in general, no just the cliche country stuff, and it’s hardly a place I would include in my list of redneck havens. Not to say that we don’t have rednecks like in that segment, but really, what place doesn’t?
But this guns in bars business, boy oh boy.
Those gay penguins actually made a cameo in my Psychology textbook. Perhaps it time for an update on the text.
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July 16th, 2009 at 9:57 am
I thought Keith Olbermann was wearing a new pair of glasses. Was he? I haven’t seen his videos in a while. I must make time to watch that segment online. :)
Love that picture! Cute puppy makes a comeback!!!!
And I am definitely going to add Douglas Rushkoff’s Life Inc. to my reading list.
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Really enjoyed Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince – so crowded for the 7:10 that we had to return very early for the 10:20 showing; right now off for most of the day to the Chicago Loop, and tomorrow all day in Aurora until nightfall, literally…
Okay, obviously I have not seen this episode but will when I can today; will see tonight’s episode on time with no possibility of commenting tomorrow, so…
PLEASE, please write zillions of comments about these episodes and call all other Zoners to make sure they do too. I truly enjoy and value reading these (as I did in the past before I had the guts to comment myself). I especially like reading them ahead of time before watching a missed episode. For me, the comments give focus, alert me to look for and enjoy special parts of segments, etc.
So write, write, write, comment, comment, comment; you have no idea how much I appreciate all your comments – got to go right now. Take care all.
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Random thoughts:
Even though I voted for the Olbermann segment, I can’t stop LOL at Stephen’s Paul Lynde impersonation. I loved the “5 + 2 = whatever Jesus wants” during Tip/Wag. How much hooch did TN lawmakers chug before voting to allow guns in bars? If I were Judge Bader Ginsburg, I would have a poster made of that graphic for my private office!
DB, I agree with your decision to take down “The State” link – It’s one thing to share the content of emails (including ones made before the stuff hit the fan); it’s quite another to provide personal contact information without consent. The way Stephen handled it last night was breathtakingly funny.
first reCaptcha: corporation caplan (btw, does anyone know why some obviously clear reCaptcha words are considered “incorrect”?
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July 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Love the silliness any time the “Technical Difficulties” graphic makes an appearance.
But…all that talk of guns and no Sweetness sighting?! I have to admit, I was a little surprised. I was sure she would be all for Stephen taking her out to the bar!
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Why sweetness did not make an appearance was a mystery to me as well! Maybe the writers like to keep us guessing and have sweetness appear when we least expect it.
Do you think sweetness is made out of licorice? I only ask because there’s a classic Tracy/Hepburn film where Spencer Tracy eats a licorice gun. Plus, that would make “sweetness” even sweeter:)
recaptcha: primmest preacher
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I know exactly what you are talking about-but the name of the movie escapes me! Can’t you just picture Stephen taking a bite? ;)
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
The name of the film is Adam’s Rib.
Oh, if Stephen ever took a bite out of sweetness, that would be very screencap worthy;)
July 16th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Have to say, right now I’m very glad that I live in New Jersey and not Tennessee. That segment was a riot but wow, I can’t believe it actually got passed. Well, at least funeral homes will have a stimulus
The graphic of Ginsburg had me laughing for a good five minutes. I’m pretty sure I want a poster of it now and just hang it on my door with “Justice Ginsburg: The bamf judge”
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July 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Yey! Another New Jerseyan! *high five*
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I love Adam’s Rib, & that is my favorite scene. Wouldn’t it be funny if it turned out Sweetness (or an edible facsimile) was licorice?
I was wondering about Sweetness’ absence, and thought maybe it would conflict with the point of the segment’s satire.
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July 16th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I love that they include a clip from Hot Fuzz in the !America’s proud tradition of guns in bars! clip.
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July 16th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I also really liked that also. When they showed the clip, someone cheered, I was amused.
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July 16th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I’m so glad that Stephen pointed out the ridiculousness of these new laws allowing guns in bars! Here in AZ our fabulous legislature just passed the same law, and our new Gov. signed it. In years past, Gov. Napolitano has struck it down, but Obama had to go and steal her for himself! I’m happy for her, but now we have no one to keep our extreme republicanness(?) in check! I wonder how many drunken bar fights turned gun fights it’s going to take before these laws are overturned…
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July 16th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Another Arizonan! Woo hoo!
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July 16th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
-Guns in Bars: Difference Makers:
ok that… see… yeah.. wow. *i stammer in disbelief*
-So are you saying we should go to a pre-Renaissance world view?
-Because I’m willing to be king, if that’s the case.
Hail King Stephen!
-Your plan sounds like kindergarten. Are we going to have forced naps also? Because I’m not tired!
-I have a webcam at watchmenap.com, and I make cash off of it.
it would be quite cool if they had just random webcams in the studio
always running… or even outside the front door…. *fan of the earthcams*
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July 16th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
um, playing cards is a corporate thing, unless you created the deck yourself. this guy is annoying me for some reason. sierra mist!
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Just posted something about this at Colbert Nation, but quickly just want to say here, that it’s nice to see Keith Olbermann say between the lines (concerning this email dealie) what a really nice human being Stephen Colbert is, if you know what I mean.
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I had to think about this one, but I went with “guns in bars” because it’s just such an awful law,and yet I doubt I would have heard about it here in New York if it weren’t for Stephen’s show. It still retained some “humor” if you will just from the comments of the supporters. I wonder if that bar owner who was not in favor of it could ban guns from *his* bar? It’s not government run after all!
For all that a very funny show, nice to have tip/wag back. I hope we have a threatdown soon also!
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July 17th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I went to watchmenap.com even before I came here, and it cracked me up! lol.
“I would have given him such a junk buffing he wouldn’t need an Argentine concubine.” was one of the best lines ever on the show!
also, for some reason 5 + 2 = whatever Jesus wants really cracked me up, especially since we talked about feeding the 5,000 in VBS the other night. It’s true, it really is whatever Jesus wants! lol.
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July 17th, 2009 at 2:17 am
DB, I loved Stephen’s brief recognition with the audience as well when he said “willing to be king.” I love that you caught that too!
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