Hello Zoners! In my search for today’s featured episode at ColbertNation.com, I stumbled over the Word: I am the Great and Powerful Oz. After laughing myself to tears over how true his indictment over my state’s educational system is, and seeing that this episode also featured the Better Know A District with Representative Brad Sherman, aka the porn BKAD, I knew I had today’s Klassic Kolbert. So without further ado, I give you quotes and videos behind the cut! Enjoy!
Some notable quotes:
- I’ve got some advice. I lived in Chicago for 11 years. Once you get there, do yourself a favor and head to the Wienner Circle at Clark and Wrightwood. Get yourself a Francheesey. That’s a Polish sausage, sliced open, filled with cheddar cheese, wrapped in bacon, then they drop the whole kit-n-kaboodle in a deep fat fryer. Jen, you eat one of those every day, you won’t just feel like you’re from Chicago – you’ll look like you’re from Chicago. *Editor’s Note: Ugh. Just hearing that makes me want to throw up.*
- Have you ever seen a naked woman?
- Rep. Sherman: Of course.
- Stephen: OK, great. What was the name of the movie?
- On a related issue, what was the name of your first pet?
- Rep. Sherman: My dog Sandy.
- Stephen: Sandy? And what was the name of the first street you grew up on?
- Rep. Sherman: That would have been Keller.
- Stephen: So your porn name would be Sandy Keller. My porn name would be Caesar Honeybee.
- Rep. Sherman: Why would I want a porn name?
- Stephen: Because you don’t want to be doing porn as Congressman Sherman – that would be terrible for your career.
- I feel for these teachers. We all know how hard it is to get anyone to listen to you when you’re talking to a room full of smart alecs. [Like Helen Thomas]
- Look at Bill O’Reilly. [And Turn to Stone]
- I just think the suit and no tie – you don’t look casual, you look drunk. Are you drunk right now?
- High level sectarian tension – that has a poetry to it, Dan. I think Lincoln said it: “Now we are engaged in a great high level sectarian tension.”
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