Klassic Kolbert – Episode 4140 (10/29/2008)

klassickolberticon Good day Zoners! Well with the dark week upon us, I thought that now would be as good a time as ever to restart the episodic Klassic Kolberts. DB’s post of the prank video reminded me of what a great episode that video was a part of. Not only did we have Stephen laughing so hard it made my own throat hurt, we also had Stephen “endorsing” Barack Obama in one of my favorite Words. I suppose the lesson was that just because you endorsed someone with words didn’t mean you had to back that up with actions.

Finally, I also really liked the interview with David Simon. Though Stephen might have a problem with how Simon’s characters weren’t good or evil, I feel shades of grey within characters are what make them interesting. Plus, any time where Stephen busts out the awards usually lead to comedy gold.

Click through for some notable quotes, and all the videos from the episode:

I’m sorry, I pulled the greatest prank yesterday. I smeared all the doorknobs in the building with raw chicken. And, uh – *laughs* When they found out, my staff laughed so hard, they were all hospitalized. *laughs* With salmonella. *laughs* It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
I finally understand why the entire McCain campaign has seemed like a flaming bag of dog poop dropped on America’s doorstep.
I know this is shocking and I can tell that you’re angry. But it is the only solution to what I see as a crisis. Namely, the crisis that these guys are getting attention, and I’m not. [Dude, Your DNA Is In Space]
And so, it is for all these reasons that I, prominent conservative Stephen Colbert, am hereby endorsing Barack Obama. [Not Enough To Lure Him Away From "The Daily Show"]
Of course, of course folks, I just want to be clear, that does not mean I am voting for him. I am not crazy. All right? [Also Not Registered]
Inspector Shadow radio program: “I’ll solve this case. All I need is a magnifying glass. I’m also gonna need a sandwich. And a glass of milk, a change of clothes, and a place to sleep for the night. And a job. Anything. I’ll do anything. God, I’m so hungry. Where’s that sandwich?!”
I mean, like, you’ve never won an Emmy, right?

Simon: Um, I’ve never behaved as if I did. No, I – well – *Crowd ohhhs* I see it –
Colbert: She’s pretty, she’s pretty, isn’t she? Bet you wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers, right? Huh? Wanna touch it?
Simon: Mmm – yeah.
Colbert: Now, I, uh, I won this for writing, I’m a television writer.
Simon: Are you sure?
Colbert: Yeah. Don’t touch her there! Don’t touch her there. Touch the little edge right there. Oh, it’s nice, huh. It’s an electric feeling.
Simon: Yeah. This is sharp. Dangerous.
Colbert: Oh, yeah, you could kill your enemies with this thing.