Episode 5090 (7/1/2009)
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EPISODE NUMBER: 5090 (July 1, 2009)
GUEST: Nicholas Kristof
SEGMENTS: Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger; Judge, Jury and Executioner
VIDEOS: Wenesday, July 1, 2009
This week’s shows have been so solid! Tonight’s show was chuck full of some amazing satire. Loved Stephen’s bringing up of “Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot“. I remember reading that book when it came out and howling at the idiocy that is Rush. And how hilarious was the Big Book of Republican Prophecies? THE GIPTURE FTW!! There was so much idiocy pointed out during Tip/Wag that it was mind-blowing. The Clinton Curse was a fantastic piece pointing out the amazing hypocrisy of so many of the Republican party who have fallen. And Stephen screaming like a girl is never not funny.
I don’t care how many times I see it, the “Judge” in the Judge, Jury and Executioner opener is never not sizzling hot. But man, those court cases were just horrible! And speaking of mind-blowing, how terrifying was the Nicholas Kristof interview? I mean, we all know that there are all kinds of chemicals in food and water that are slowly making us sick, but it’s always scary to hear them outlined so clearly. The New York Times article by Kristof is really interesting – go read it if you have a chance.
So what bit of satire whet your whistle the most tonight?
- From now on, Minnesota is the land of 10,001 lakes, because I made one last night out of my tears.
- Plus, we all remember how the Iranian president insulted him with his book, “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Zionist”.
- As everybody knows, the Chinese character for Al Franken is also the character for opportunity. And strangely, Liquor pig. It’s a fascinating language.
- The Gip-ture!
- These kids don’t need a handout, they need a pep talk. It’s like Jesus said in Matthew, “I was a stranger, and you welcomed me. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was hungry and you said ‘Get a job’.”
- Look, I get it, when someone misbehaves, it’s natural to assume he’s a Democrat, even when he’s the head of the Republican Governor’s Association.
- Bill Clinton! Sanford is just the latest victim of what some are calling the Clinton Curse.
- I’ve looked at an actual test online, and I’ll tell you, before I let someone put out the raging fire in my house, I want to make sure they know which one of these words is spelled correctly.
- For too long, we have been silent about the trampling of our rights merely because no one was trampling our rights.
- Caged at last, caged at last, thank God almighty, I am caged at last!
- So the essential facts are “Gold! Gold! Gold, I tell you!”
- So it is no longer a toxic lake, it is a toxic kiddie pool.
- Our children are already being endangered by everything from sexting to sex-maphore. Jimmy, that’s disgusting, blur it.
- You saying something’s happening to fish junk? That’s a technical term.
- This is the latest study, this didn’t happen to people born 45 years ago, right?
- Penis deformation? I don’t like those two words together.
- This is a real threat to something I care about, which is the balls.
- Can we blame women for this?
- But Nick, I need my plastic soft. I need my water bottle to go [thkunk thkunk].
- I think you’re burying the lead here, Nick, because what I’m hearing is that I’m drinking lady pee. Can congress pass a law to make them hold it?
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16 Comments
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:23 am
I don’t know about you, but I think it’s the “Executioner” Stephen that gets me every time.
I love how he edits the Bible to fit someone’s opinion ala “Suffer the little children. Also, truth in advertising.”
Just found out that Katrina is a (D), btw. It explains everything, really. :D
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July 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 am
It does explain a lot. Obviously, Katrina was a Democratic conspiracy to discredit the Bush administration.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 8:31 am
Gold! Love it when Stephen cries that out off camera and gets caught on. Cute little character breaks tonight (I thought that was a picture of Clinton) and a very interesting interview. I am glad Stephen was there to add his GOLD!en comedic touch–otherwise I may have cried–that information is disturbing. As a lady, I am sad to think that I may be contributing to the tainted water supply! Fun toss as well. I don’t realize it has been so long between tosses until I see one. *sighs* :)
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July 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 am
I don’t know if anyone else caught the Frogger reference in the intro. Did Kristof also have to cross a river with logs and alligators?
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July 2nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
Thanks, I knew it was some video game, but I’ve never been good at them, so I didn’t know which one.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 9:23 am
“Tip of the Hat” was hands down the favorite for me. Even if it was only for that Bible verse. I love how Stephen and his writers takes authoritative or solemn statements and declarations then add a crude remark at the end. I’m still reeling from TCR’s take on Lady Liberty’s “humble masses” spiel from last week.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Me too! I love it when they do that! I also enjoyed the Clinton Curse segment and was fascinated yet frightened by the interview with Kristoff. I knew a little bit about the subject but I didn’t know the extent of it all. It makes me not want to let my two young children drink water from the tap, or I guess from bottles too, ever again. I’ll have to check out that book Lilimich mentioned.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Tip/Wag ruled this week. “Without hunger, how will children ever learn to push a lever with their snouts to get a food pellet?”
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July 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 am
I loved the Katrina dig, and I’m always impressed how adeptly Stephen quotes Scripture to deflate the sanctimonious. The Gipture was hysterical, but I voted for Tip/Wag because, overall, that segment made me laugh the hardest. Thank you, Stephen, for your ability to make me laugh at pretty nearly anything because the facts behind “Judge, Jury and Executioner” and Kristof’s interview were infuriating and scary.
What is it about character breaks that make me *swoony*? :D
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July 2nd, 2009 at 10:53 am
Re: Nicholas Kristof If you really want to get freaked about soft plastics and water bottles and all the lovely things that are being done to our water sources, you simply must read Bottlemania by Elizabeth Royte. It’s an absolutely captivating must-read. And it goes into detail about the birth control hormones that Kristof talked about, the chemicals in soft plastics, and what water bottling companies are doing to our natural aquifers too.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 am
Thanks for the tip. The court’s decision to allow the mining co. to destroy a pristine lake over a technicality of “fill” vs. “waste” was appalling. As long as humans treat nature as separate from themselves they will be doomed to destroy it and themselves. Duh.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 11:56 am
I loved judge jury and exicutioner. He had not done that segment for a while.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
The character break during The Clinton Curse was great. Also, when they were going to commercials, that continued scream was funny.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I voted for the interview! so fascinating. I get some of that information in class but that article must be much more in-depth. I’ll check out that link too, Lilimich!
the judge, jury, executioner one was interesting too.
mining has to be done, gold is such a critical resource, but it’s too bad about the lake. I’m glad they followed the law, but it doesn’t sound like a law that’s very good for the environment.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Is anybody worried that the Colbert Nation will seriously go after that woman politician? Really, he CALLED upon them to take her food away the next time they see her! Sometimes, I wonder how megalomaniac the man can be…
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July 2nd, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I have to go with Tip/Wag because that lady who said that “hunger motivates” made me really angry, and Stephen wanting people in Missouri to “help” her by stopping her from eating made me laugh so hard!
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