Four Horsemen of the Apopcalypse – Pop culture references in The Colbert Report: May 18-21, 2009

Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Dangermouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).

Hey Zoners! It’s the Supreme Court India-Minnesota Election free speech, torture, & ACLU edition of the Apopcalypse!  This week it seems we’re all political.  Well, with the exception of my favorite line, “Oh, So Now It’s ‘My’ Fault Kittens In A Sack Can’t Swim?” Oh so wrong, but oh so funny.  What about you?  Don’t forget to post your favorite bits in the comments!

Monday: Threat Down – Charity!

“Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: but first, truth in advertising. (Matthew 19:14)”

The King James version: “But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”  Eh, same thing – six of one, a baker’s dozen of the other.

Tuesday:  Intro, Difference Makers, & Walter Kirn

“He’s the most courageous scofflaw since Sammy Hagar refused to drive 55.”

If you ever watched MTV (or Friday Night Videos!) in 1984, you doubtless were exposed to Sammy Hagar’s protest against the (then) national maximum speed limit. “I Can’t Drive 55″ became a huge hit for the singer & later Van Halen frontman (though I can’t stand the song, and include the video link only for completeness.  No offense, Hagar fans!).

“I’m no fan of regulation.  Who is the government to tell me I can’t yell ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater? How else am I going to market my line of portable fire extinguishers?”

Not up on your US Supreme Court trivia?  Tsk tsk.  The 1919 case Schenck v. United States, concerning the distribution of anti-draft flyers during World War 1, set precedent (since amended) on limitations to free speech. Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. delivered the Court’s opinion that free speech may be abridged in cases where such speech needlessly creates a “clear and present danger” (e.g. falsely shouting fire in a crowded theater).  Steve Martin asked an equally important question: Is it ok to shout ‘Movie!’ in a crowded firehouse? (ok, the link’s not a video from that standup routine, but it’s Steve Martin and balloon animals, and you can’t go wrong with that!)

And though friend of the show Walter Kirn may have “realized at Princeton that no one understands [T.S. Eliot's] The Wasteland & James Joyce [Ulysses],” they are nonetheless luminous works of literary art.  So say I, and by his repeated quoting of Eliot’s  The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock [Elizabeth Alexander interview] and The Hollow Men [Dhani Jones interview], I’d guess Stephen agrees.

Wednesday: Extra! Extra! Bleed All About It!

“And clearly the only conservatives available were John Yoo and 15th century Spanish inquisitor Tomás de Torquemada.  And Torquemada still uses Word Perfect.”

Ouch, that’s some company John Yoo is in.  Tomás de Torquemada was one of the most notable figures in the Spanish Inquisition, an ecclesiastical tribunal established to enforce Catholic orthodoxy, primarily targeted at recent Jewish & Muslim converts.  Torquemada wrote the initial report on false conversions which led to the start of the Inquisition, and was appointed Inquisitor General and chief confessor for Isabella I.  During the Inquisition, the accused were sometimes jailed for years without charge, and subject to torture during interrogations (including the use of tortura del agua, which you might know as waterboarding).  Times sure have changed, haven’t they?

Thursday:  Intro, Naan-Partisan, & Formidable Opponent

“I’ll tell you the results of the Indian elections.  Well, most of the results. Norm Coleman won’t concede that race, either.”

You know, listening to A Prairie Home Companion, you wouldn’t necessarily equate Minnesota with political fireworks (and yet, Governor Jesse Ventura). Since an unbelievably close election for the US Senate last November, the state has been embroiled in legal battles, with national implications.  After several recounts, the Minnesota State Canvassing Board in January certified former comedian Democrat Al Franken as the winner, by 225 votes.  Republican Norm Coleman has repeatedly appealed the decision, and the case is currently before the Minnesota Supreme Court.  If seated, Al Franken would give the Democrats a 60 seat majority in Congress.

“If I look dhanya tonight, it’s because I’m totally bhaagyavan.”  … “Hey, no problem, Gandhi. By the way, I loved you in Sexy Beast.”

Stephen pulls out the Sanskrit in honor of the Indian Parliamentary elections.  Dhanya ( धन्य ) translates as happy/blessed, and bhaagyavan ( भाग्यवान् ) means lucky/fortunate.  And give a shout out to the fabulous Sir Ben Kingsley, star of the 1982 Oscar winning film Gandhi and 2000′s thriller Sexy Beast.

“You gotta love the ACLU. Those guys know how to be idealistic. I mean, defending Nazis’ right to march in Skokie? That takes balls.”

In 1977, a group of Neo-Nazis planned a march and rally in Skokie, Illinois, a largely Jewish suburb of Chicago.  In response, the town passed ordinances specifically outlawing Neo-Nazi demonstrations.  In a controversial move, the American Civil Liberties Union filed suit against the town on behalf of the National Socialist Party of America in support of their First Amendment rights of free speech and assembly.  The case made it all the way to the US Supreme Court, where the group’s rights to demonstrate were affirmed.  Though at the time the ACLU lost financial support and members for its stance, the organization maintained that all free speech must be supported, even speech which we find reprehensible.  As US District Court Judge Bernard Decker said in his decision, “The ability of American society to tolerate the advocacy of even hateful doctrines … is perhaps the best protection we have against the establishment of any Nazi-type regime in this country.”  And how!