EPISODE NUMBER: 5064 (May 11, 2009)
GUESTS: Tamara Draut, Jeff Daniels
SEGMENTS: Can people distinguish Pâté from dog food?, Credit card reform, Alpha Dog of the week
VIDEOS: Monday, May 11, 2009
Need to shave off your Chia lip on national television while talking to your old boss? There’s an app for that! “I don’t like you!” “You don’t have to!” Classic!
Stephen Colbert eating Fancy Feast (or whatever he managed to find in a can in the same size as cat food) has got to be one of the top three gross out moments on the show. Other than the Gatorade nipple pump, I can’t think of something that Stephen has done on the show with such an amazingly high cringe factor. The little wink he gave as he stuffed his mouth with whatever that was is what really sealed the deal for me.
The Prescott First American Trust Bank of Midland Triple Advantage Miles Black Platinum Champagne Rewards card was funny. The pre-approved credit car for the credit card (in its own mini-window envelope)? Priceless.
The beauty of tonight’s Alpha Dog of the Week segment is that the funniest parts of the piece fell under the “you can’t make this stuff up” school of comedy. And let’s face it, jokes about wrinkles on dog’s balls will never, ever not be funny. The Smoking Gun web site has a copy of the letter from Erik Slye if you want to read it yourself.
The Jeff Daniels interview was a pleasant surprise. You need to check out the video from the wonderful ColbertNation.com archives to really understand the first part of the interview, and the interview as a whole to be truthfully honest. It’s also interesting to see the totally different look of the first Jeff Daniels interview compared to how interviews are being done now. The set is so dark, and Stephen’s chair is different from the interviewee’s chair. Also, another cool thing about the original Jeff Daniels interview – that outfit is very familiar to those of us who are familiar with some of Stephen’s more popular promo pics.
Man, that was a good show! What did you guys think of it?
- I don’t know how many times I have to say this, they don’t hold trials for dogs.
- It’s a follow-up to their landmark survey, “Bet you 25 bucks I can make someone eat dog food.”
- Who can’t tell the difference between pâté and dog food? Turns out 83% of those studied.
- Not only is this delicious, it says right here it will make my coat silky. That’s a little on the salty side. [Drinks from water bowl] Much better.
- Gentleman, you have truly lived up to your motto, “This seemed like a good idea when we were hammered on Merlot.”
- This credit card has been preapproved for its own credit card!
- Excuse me, but my credit card company does not use an “anything goes” approach. They simply change their rules and interest rates based on what the credit rule monkey spins on its Rule Randomizing wheel.
- What’s the bill of rights for my credit card? They have the right to assemble in my wallet.
- Everyone hates jury duty. Most of us avoid it by pretending to be racist while also pretending to be in labor, as in “Oh, this labor is harder than a Chinese kid’s math homework.”
- He won the case! The case of Montana Legal System v Dog Ball Wrinkles has set a legal precedent.
- You seem like a prophet, you’re Nostradaniels!
- Jeff Daniels: I’m a f@#king genius.
- Gandolfini would have you whacked.